Y'all should now be aware that at the White House Fellators' Correspondents' Dinner, Wanda Sykes said that she hoped Rush Limbaugh would die of kidney disease. Jug Hussein Ears laughed at it. If you haven't seen it, here it is. At least some people booed. Must of been the the people at the Fox table.
So, I guess that means hoping people die is an accepted form of humor now. Let's see if I can come up with a few jokes a la Wanda Sykes.
I hope Wanda Sykes gets lynched by some KKK dudes. While they're at it, I hope they string up Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
Doesn't that slay you?
Let's try another one. I hope Janeane Garafalo dies of rabies after biting and infecting Keith Olberasshole. The question here is how would anyone even know Olberasshole had rabies?
I hope that Speaker Blinky, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden are stuck in an elevator with a Marine with only two bullets and he shoots Speaker Blinky, then strangles Harry Reid and bin Laden in that order. Gotta kill the ones who are causing the most damage to our republic first.
I know, I'm killing you with my Sykes humor.
I hope Rosie O'Piggo and Michael Moore get so fat they explode.
I hope Perez Hilton and Barney Frank die of AIDS.
Isn't this humor a riot?
I hope Al Franken has a heart attack and dies.
I hope Ted Kennedy dies of brain cancer.
I know I'm just murdering my audience here.
I hope Katie Couric dies of colon cancer.
Yannow that tingling sensation running down Chris Matthews' leg? I hope that was a minor stroke and that he soon has a major one and dies of a cerebral hemorrhage.
I'm having trouble typing this 'cause I'm laughing so hard.
I hope BJ Clinton gets shot nailing someone else's wife.
I hope Thunder Rodent Thighs gets impaled on her dildo.
Still haven't shot my wad yet.
I hope that Rachel Madcow electrocutes herself with her vibrator.
And the funniest joke of them all: I hope JHE dies of lung cancer.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by denny at May 12, 2009 12:17 PMNo, I hope a big wind comes up and catches JHE by his ears and carries him away ....
Posted by: PeggyU on May 12, 2009 12:56 PMPeggy - What about a big wind comes up and his ears beat him to death?
Posted by: Denny on May 12, 2009 12:58 PMDenny......
I stole this off of my older sister.............
........BACKOFF! AND..........
Let those men who want to marry men do so!
Let those women who want to marry women do so!
Let those people who believe in abortion, allow them to abort all of the babies they conceive!
In just three generations .....There will be no Democrats, don`t you just love it when a plan come`s together.
Claudia........Calm down , its a joke!
Posted by: dudley1 on May 12, 2009 02:03 PMHere's another -- it would be a laugh riot if Joe Biden suffered another aneurysm resulting in his getting killed in a horrific car accident.
Posted by: thatjerryguy on May 12, 2009 02:14 PMthatjerryguy - No. To make it funny you have to hope Biden suffers an aneurysm. See you want it to happen.
Wanda Sykes is still miffed since her visit to the White House when Clinton was Potus.....seems she made a date to meet Hillary in the Cloak Room to much a carpet but made a wrong turn in the hallway & went into the Janitor`s closet & ate the chambermaid`s toilet brush by mistake.
Posted by: dudley1 on May 12, 2009 02:28 PMDenny -- I stand corrected. I hope Joe Biden suffers another aneurysm resulting in his getting killed in a horrific car accident.
You're right. It IS much funnier.
Posted by: thatjerryguy on May 12, 2009 02:35 PMDear Dudley1 - I'm very calm....
My wish is that, by some strange phenomenon, all democrats become barren, all their men's testicles, and all their women's eggs rot. And USA is filled with healthy, happy Republicans'babies, multiplying by the dozens. We're just one generation away from having sane Americans in USA.
Posted by: Claudia on May 12, 2009 02:53 PM"seems she made a date to meet Hillary in the Cloak Room to munch a carpet but made a wrong turn in the hallway & went into the Janitor`s closet & ate the chambermaid`s toilet brush by mistake."
It's a safe bet that the two pretty much taste the same.
Posted by: thatjerryguy on May 12, 2009 03:11 PMKarlU - Yes, but if you caught Bozobama on the Tonight Show, he laughed at, and dismissed, campaign promises as one big joke, saying in essence, that everyone knows they're nothing but smoke and mirrors carried out in the Dog & Pony Show of campaign rhetoric. The big difference w/the Obamessiah is that he doesn't care who knows he's a lying piece of excrement. No surprise there. And the electronic spying has been going on for decades, only now they're making it public and relying on the P.A. to dupe the public into buying their bullshit. If you haven't yet watched the Backstory on JHE, please take some time and watch the following:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaQNACwaLw
I hope that same gust of wind comes up around Cynthia McCommie and her bongo-lips flap her to death.
Posted by: CharlieDelta on May 12, 2009 08:00 PMI hope that Alec Baldwin, Warren Beatty, Joy Behar, Cher, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jane Fonda, Al Franken, Richard Gere, Whoopi Goldberg, Madonna, John Mellencamp, Sean Penn, Robert Redford, Rob Reiner, Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, Steven Spielberg, Bruce Springsteen, Howard Stern, Barbara Streisand, Oliver Stone, James Taylor, Ted Turner and Denzel Washington gather together to make one of those 'hold hands and sing Kumbaya', liberal public service announcements and the patriotic-fireworks-in-the-background special effect goes wrong and burns them all like Michael Jackson in a Pepsi commercial, only with a more Joan of Arc-like result.
Posted by: Jackie D on May 12, 2009 08:47 PMAnemia FTW!
Posted by: LisaKay on May 12, 2009 09:05 PMI hope Letterman slices his throat while reading the Top 10 reasions how conservatives are more intolerant than hypocrital liberals...
Now that would be funny.
Hopey Hope!
Posted by: CharlieDelta on May 13, 2009 12:30 AMwhoa, whoa, wait... you mean rachel maddow isn't a lesbian? i know i'm a sheltered conservative, but that woman appears to be completely penile retardant. no? i think a dildo is a little hard to believe. ie, that joke really wasn't realistic. the rest? good points and great post. truth hurts, humor shouldn't.
Posted by: supergurl on May 13, 2009 01:55 PMsupergurl - Lesbos don't use vibrators?
Posted by: Denny on May 13, 2009 02:08 PMwell, not that i'm the authority or anything. but i have had close lesbian friends, and they were completely anti-dick of any kind. i got the idea it was more about the oral and they never mentioned any phallic toys or anything of the sort.
i know it's hard to imagine a woman that doesn't want yer dick, but i believe that's the definition of a lesbo.
Posted by: supergurl on May 13, 2009 03:39 PMYou are too funny for words.....wished I had thought of some of these...Keep up the good work. I hope Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Spector, Kennedy, Frank, all end up groveling for a chance to work for a Republican again in the NEAR future. They are a bunch of lying retards who have no business deciding our future. Nancy Pelosi is a pig plus being an ass.
You have made my day!!
Late to the party as my laptop was in for repairs...
I get the point of your post but I have to admit that I most certainly did laugh out loud at this one:
I hope Thunder Rodent Thighs gets impaled on her dildo.
That's just funny right there.
I think that all of the above would make fine targets on the 1000 meter range"After all one shot 1 kill,and you would get the I KILLED THE RAT BADGE.
Posted by: Jumpboots187thPIR on May 21, 2009 01:38 PM