A real old one here. Originally a Polish joke.
A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"
The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"! The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide.
They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue."
The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"!
This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?"
The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying sod across the street."
OK, I got another blonde saga. You judge which is better. Denny's or mine.
READY?
A man was dining in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous blonde sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye went flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said as she popped her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she said.
They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened intently.
After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been SO incredible and so perfect!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
"No, absolutely not" she replied. . .
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"'You just happened to catch my eye."
Posted by: Toejam on August 29, 2009 07:33 AMToejam - I used that for a Monday Pun a few years back.
Posted by: Denny on August 29, 2009 10:53 AMDamn!
Can't put one over on you Denny.
Guess that's why you're the blogger and I'm the blogee.
Posted by: Toejam on August 29, 2009 12:07 PM