This one is from Frank.
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off. because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown like other toads.. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway...this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother.
He begs her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and such."
The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says
"Abracapokus! You're brown!"
The toad looks down and sees that he's brown except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother: "Wait a minute! My pecker's still yellow!"
To this the fairy godmother replies: "I don't do johnsons. You will have to see the The Wizard of Oz for that."
The toad thanks her and hops off on his way.
There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her: "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account of the hunters can spot me from a mile off."
She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says: "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!"
The bear looks down and sees the he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ole twig and berries, they remain purple. He says: "My wang is still purple!"
She says: "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that."
To this the bear replies: "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?"
The fairy godmother answers: "That's easy...
...just follow the yellow dick Toad!"
I don't write them. I just post 'em.
Posted by denny at November 16, 2009 12:00 AMFinally I got ONE!!!!!!
It still sucks!!!!!!
I don't know.
Seems like ther's a missing witch with an Amber Cold Titty in that one.
Pete
Posted by: Pete on November 15, 2009 11:43 PMSaw that coming... from. a. mile. away.
Posted by: Brad on November 16, 2009 12:50 AMI never read 'em with the "cut" in place. That may be why I don't see 'em coming.
That, along with the blonde factor. Which I'll use every time.
:-)
LOL! I thought it would be "follow the yellow-pricked toad" ...
Posted by: PeggyU on November 16, 2009 02:22 AMI recall a vulgar ancient variant that would not be improved by repeating it here, but the payoff is a concluding directive to "swallow the yellow prick's load!"
Posted by: TalkinHorse on November 16, 2009 03:35 AM"LOL! I thought it would be "follow the yellow-pricked toad" ..."
You meant it wasn't???
Posted by: Past Your Eyes on November 16, 2009 07:23 AMBAAAAAD....(grin)
Posted by: Sandy G. on November 16, 2009 09:04 AMA shipwreck happened & when the lone human survivor crawled up on the beach , he was greeted by a sheep dog & a female sheep he was guarding who had also survived the ship wreck..
The man was mollified to find this was as deserted island but food was not a problem as there was plenty of grass for the sheep to eat, a huge case of dog food had washed up on the beach & there was plenty of berries & fruit available for the man.
The three became friends & spent most of the time together & each night would watch the colorful sunsets together.Well, one night while watching the sunset, the man had urges & thought the sheep was looking good & put his arm around the sheep....the sheep dog growled at him & showed his teeth. The man dejectedly took his arm off the sheep.
After that they were still friends but the man was still overcome with urges which haunted him, a few weeks later another ship wreck occurred & a lone survivor crawled onto the beach who just happened to be a woman.The man rushed down & discovered to his dismay it was Nancy Pelosi but he dragged her from the surf to safety anyway.
Nancy thanked the man profusely & asked if there was anything she could do for him to repay his help. Well, the man confessed the urges he was having without relief. Nancy looked around & said there is no one here to see this but I`ll do anything you want or need.......The man said Great! How about taking the dog for a walk!
tisk tisk! That was not a pun dudley........
Posted by: B....... on November 16, 2009 10:41 AMB......
I know but it was too funny to not post it & Nancy did not want anyone to know.
Posted by: dudley1 on November 16, 2009 10:56 AMNo, but it was dun funly.
Posted by: Alfred on November 16, 2009 10:58 AMPeggyU - I like your last line better.
Posted by: Denny on November 16, 2009 01:02 PM