January 27, 2010

SOTU Drinking Game

Jug Hussein Ears is giving his first SOTU speech tonight in which he will try to convince us that the crap sandwich that is his first year in office not only smells good but tastes good as well. Remember, he told Oprah that he gave himself a B+ for his first year. Talk about grade inflation. Those of us with half a brain (and I guess I qualify since I'm recuperating from drain bamage) know exactly what bullshit this is.

I originally wasn't gonna watch the speech, but now I'm interested in exactly how he is gonna try to sell his incompetence as being successful. Now, if I weren't recuperating from drain bamage I would play the SOTU drinking game. My neurosurgeon told me I could drink, but only in moderation so there is no way I can play this game.

Rule #1 - Every time JHE says "I" you have to slam down a shot of the hard stuff (e.g. vodka, scotch, bourbon, gin, tequila). The advantage of this is that you will be either on the floor passed out after fifteen minutes or you will be in the bathroom worshiping the porcelain goddess, thus you won't have to endure listening to the entire speech.

Rule #2 - Every time JHE says "jobs" as in "green jobs" or "I have created or saved 2 million jobs" you have to chug a beer.

Rule #3 - Every time JHE says "inherited" as in "I inherited this mess from my predecessor" you have to chug a brewski.

Rule #4 - Every time he says "eight years" as in "the failed polices of the past eight years" down goes another brew.

Rule #5 - Every time Speaker Blinky jumps up and starts applauding that's another beer down the hatch.

You better buy a keg. The advantages of Rules 2 through 5 is you're gonna have to take a pee after fifteen minutes and once again, you'll miss a major portion of the speech.

Have fun and remember, don't drink and drive.

Posted by denny at January 27, 2010 01:09 PM  

I hope it's OK to do it with French wine. I can take only a few sips at the time but the Canadian Pundits are coming. They'll keep the wine flowing. We intend to have fun. Mind you, at times, the BS is so strong, you wonder why the people, listening in the studio, don't rush to shut the Potus up.

Posted by: Claudia on January 27, 2010 02:41 PM

...SOTU address...is that the Sovereign Of The Universe address?...it must be...just ask the LSM.

Posted by: joe on January 27, 2010 04:09 PM

Good God, Denny! Are you trying to kill us with alcohol poisoning?!?

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip on January 27, 2010 05:20 PM

Oh, yeah, jobs. None of those lunkheads in Washington create any jobs; all they know how to do is blow jobs.

Posted by: TalkinHorse on January 27, 2010 05:21 PM

Just a keg? Think you'd better have your own personal access to a microbrewery on tap.

Posted by: Grumpy Old Ham on January 27, 2010 06:16 PM

Just rule #1 or #5 alone would be enough to kill a man who had the strongest constitution and tolerance for alcohol ever known.

Posted by: Past Your Eyes on January 27, 2010 06:52 PM

hmmmm.. wonder why patrick passed out 2 minutes into the president's speech?

Posted by: patrick on January 27, 2010 07:13 PM

BWAHAHAHAHAH!!! I won't make it 5 minutes!

Posted by: Paul on January 27, 2010 08:00 PM

I'd be in a major coma by now. Thankfully, I'm leisurely sipping some Chard. Hey, I've got to have something to get me through this!

BTW, have you seen the O-BINGO cards?

Posted by: Mo K. on January 27, 2010 10:01 PM

I prefer to call it the STFU address or the STFU speech by the president - in which I want him to....you guessed it!

Posted by: marcus on January 27, 2010 10:57 PM

Yass, but, girls, wasn't Barry just SO YUMMY lookin' w/his red tie that co-ordinated so well w/Nancy's suit ? Barack Obama-Mm-Mm-Good ! I'm SO jealoush of Michelle ma belle...-Aunt Sandi, Unca Sandy's evil lesbian twin...

Posted by: Sandy G. on January 28, 2010 07:35 AM

Thank God I had to work late last night, and so missed the whole thing. As little as I drink as a rule, I'd have been dead within 15 minutes.

Imperial Keeper

Posted by: Elizabeth on January 28, 2010 09:15 AM

Aw geez, I missed it. Had to watch a Netflix movie instead. Did he have any non BS to say?

Posted by: Alan on January 28, 2010 11:13 AM

I'm glad I didn't watch it. I'd prolly be in an alcohol-induced coma right about now...

Posted by: CharlieDelta on January 28, 2010 06:52 PM
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