April 05, 2010

From Rahm

Ron sent me this (which I know that he wrote his own self.)

President Obama's Chief of Staff explains his plan for re-energizing the economy and preventing future recessions.

"President Obama's administration has been working diligently to perfect what is often seen as a crude and much maligned concept of an economic system that can provide not only positronic endibulation, but also supply inverse bilateral erapsilance, thereby enabling automatic synchronization of actuarial credisrodicants.

We refer to this groundbreaking fiscal emarsifoliation technique as the Obamanation Destrafulating Rescamulator and believe its introduction to the current economic recession will bring instant antidismarnication and redistribulation not only to Wall Street but to mortgage lumorizators and loan gefinerationists all across the torminic spectrum.

The basic premise of our nation's fiscal system has always been, of course, reliptification and dehusticating, but in the absence of proper fedeglation, a dreaped fenata can occur almost without warning, throwing reminatusilage and gradofleximission into deep scintillious egrappocation, or if you prefer, a classic nopped fenata.

What our plan will do is manestically space the minomemes between diathetical insornia and unprogrammed cleagles so that the annular contimersion coefficient can be monitored on the existing ponziscopes and dardalectic pilferometers. That way, if a fenata is seen developing, we simply apply insemifiles by a simple formula of R = 4.7D (ncubed) where R is Republican routhmoiling and D is Dodd's depleneration constant. We're still working on a standard for 'n' and believe Frank's dermic danglion (a simple logarithmic refraction index) will be the magic bullet.

What all this means for the taxpayer is that every 6th transcendental pericosity will inflate by a metapolar factor derived from relemutation of existing assets minus truncusevence of insurance straffle coefficient determined by the number of suregiogs in the household multiplied by any retrograde encabulation authorized by the Messiah Act (Executive Order #2).

Eventually this plan will redistribute debondanzas to everyone living in the United States regardless of what radumflab they speak, what rastifollion they are, or what roticules they may or may not have committed.

We believe, and the leaders of the House and Senate fully support us in this, that only by reliptificating the supegiog, by eliptograting the dismutified, and by rescambolicating the vopofed can we ever achieve our goal of deconfabulated eggrapocation for every American, whether they be parasites, traitors, deadbeats, or revolutionaries.

And remember, not only is President Obama The One, but He Won the election, so what He says goes in any case, and what I say is the same as if He Himself said it."

This makes about as much sense as all the other BS emanating from the White House.

Posted by denny at April 5, 2010 02:46 PM  

I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to see the PowerPoint on this puppy.

Posted by: John Galt on April 5, 2010 03:15 PM

John -- sorry, but Rahm felt that working up a presentation for such a simple principle would be a waste of his very important time.

He did, however, link to a working block diagram (here):


Posted by: bocopro (Ron) on April 5, 2010 03:39 PM

Don't make fun of Rahmbo-He'll come 'n' Wiggle his Weenie at you...Mbwahahahahahaha...

Posted by: Sandy G. on April 5, 2010 03:54 PM

I think this is how the HealthCareBill Reads!!!

Posted by: tyGuy/Neil on April 5, 2010 04:51 PM

...holy hermaphrodites Batman...I don't know if this was harder to write or to read...seems the Joker's anthroprotruberance is ubiquitously fornicacious in Gotham.

Posted by: joe on April 5, 2010 09:11 PM

Yea, what he said.

Posted by: kerrcarto on April 5, 2010 09:30 PM

Howz about the Mooslimb Suicidistan line? Now those shoes replica a brand of stinkbeard shoes that women desire while wearing around their suicidal pedophile/goat-fuckers (aka husbands). The stinkbeards are just stinkbeards, but a beautiful work of art known as the MOAB will do the trick and put a stop to this insanity.

This would be upscale normalcy and integrity whether you accept it or not.

Posted by: CharlieDelta on April 6, 2010 01:23 AM

Most o' them Stinkbeards just wear Sheik Yerbouty sneakers, don't they ?

Posted by: Sandy G. on April 6, 2010 06:21 AM

I sent this to our local Dimocrat Representative....she is very enthusiastic & going to introduce a bill to amend the constitution & add this.

Posted by: dudley1 on April 6, 2010 09:10 AM

Hey, Rham, you can keep your effin' hands off my debondanzas, and I'll inflate my own pericosity, thank you! We'll deconfabulate your Party come Novenber and you'll find out what I can do with my danglion.
Long live the roticules!

Rob J

Posted by: Inbredredneck on April 6, 2010 09:26 AM

This obviously proves that President Obama has hired the Esteemed Perfesser, Irwin Corey, "The World's Foremost Authority", to bring some semblance of order to his tumultuous administration..

Posted by: Sandy G. on April 6, 2010 10:10 AM

Sandy G. wins!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Inbredredneck on April 6, 2010 10:18 AM

C'est formidable! We, ze French, understand and agree wiz everyzing. About time you speak ze correct language, and make ze proper laws for ze poor american people.

Posted by: Claudia on April 6, 2010 02:16 PM
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