July 01, 2011

Scottish Wedding

AlphaDelta sent me this.


Which segues into this Scottish joke.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Posted by denny at July 1, 2011 04:44 PM  

I'd be making tracks and burning a dress.

Posted by: PeggyU on July 1, 2011 05:00 PM

Also reminds me of the difference between a Scottish wedding and an Scottish Funeral "one less drunk"

Posted by: Jim McFalls on July 1, 2011 06:56 PM

This incident begs the question:

Did the thought of having to suck on the bride's enormous auroles cause the groom to act in this manner?

Posted by: Toejam on July 1, 2011 11:28 PM

Ah Scotland, where men are men, women are men, and sheep are nervous.

Posted by: Jeremy on July 2, 2011 02:51 AM

Darn You!!!! Now I'm gonna have to clean up the screen AND the keyboard because of my coffee spew!!!

Zipper from a mile away...bwaahahahahhahah


Posted by: Steve on July 2, 2011 08:55 AM

And why do the English wear pants? They raise deaf sheep.

Posted by: Firehand on July 2, 2011 08:59 AM

Actually, the REAL New York Slimes motto is:

"All the news that fits our views!"

Posted by: Mark Matis on July 2, 2011 04:18 PM

I'm of Scottish descent meself, lads....and I love these jokes.

Why do Scots like to bugger sheep at the edge of cliffs?

The sheep push back harder.

Posted by: Mark on July 2, 2011 08:06 PM

There was a young Scot of the way,
Who Buggered his Father one day.
Saying, "I like it rather, to stuff it up Father,
'Cause he's clean, & there's nothing to Pay..."
Thankew, thankew, I'm here all week. Try the veal...

Posted by: Sandy G. on July 3, 2011 08:33 AM

Mark - I use both mottoes.

Posted by: Denny on July 3, 2011 08:16 PM

There was a young man from Dundee
Who sat on a cliff edge to pee.
Just as he started
He violently farted
And blew himself into the sea.

Posted by: Denny on July 3, 2011 08:24 PM

If I may borrow a line from the Austin Powers movie, "If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!"

Posted by: Alxandro on July 3, 2011 10:16 PM

Scottish Shart?

Posted by: Alxandro on July 3, 2011 10:18 PM

To Alxandro: "If its nae Scottish, its CRAP!"

So this was a very successful gathering of the Clans! It would have been a disaster of a marriage if the families had not got drunk and had a brawl!

Posted by: Tom on July 4, 2011 08:31 AM

Mr. McFalls, that be an Irish joke you're referencing. Also goes along with... How do you spot an Irishman in a hospital? He's the one blowing the foam off his bedpan.

But, heavy drinking. Yep, yer bound to have Scotch Blotch. Especially, if over 40... NEVER trust a fart.

One of life's facts of getting older that was faced after a few pair shorts ended up looking like a Rorschach test.

Happy 4th!

Posted by: AlphaDelta on July 4, 2011 08:36 AM
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