OK. Who did it? This is a joke, right? This isn't really a Democratic Party web site, right? If it is, someone hacked into it and put this up right? Pinch me. I must be dreaming. If this is true can't you just see Republican political operatives salivating? Talk about throwing red meat at a pack of dogs. Clinton had Newt, and the Pubbies are gonna have Cynthia. Oh man this is gonna be fun to watch. And while we're waiting, I guess I can have a little fun too.
Now since the Dems are accusing the media of smearing poor lil Cynthia, let's look at some of what she's saying. An yes, I am being selective. I'm just picking the looniest stuff, 'cause it's my blog and I can do what I want. First some words from Cynthia:
"Now is the time for our elected officials to be held accountable. Now is the time for the media to be held accountable. Why aren't the hard questions being asked?
Ask away. We're waiting for you to ask them. We want questions, not speculation.
We know there were numerous warnings of the events to come on September 11. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, delivered one such warning.
OK. I'm gonna ask the same question I ask everytime Cynthia or any of the others who think the Bush administration didn't try to prevent 9/11. Now, Cynthia, listen real closely. I'm gonna say this real slowly. What.... was.... the.... Bush.... administration... supposed... to... do.... to... prevent... the... hijackings? The... only... successful.... means..... to..... prevent..... the.... hijackings..... would..... have..... involved..... ethnic..... profiling..... of.... Middle.... Eastern..... men. Or, 'Excuse me sir. Yes, you, the swarthy one, are you planning on hijacking a plane today?'
Those engaged in unusual stock trades immediately before September 11 knew enough to make millions of dollars from United and American airlines, certain insurance and brokerage firms' stocks.
Do you think that might have been Osama bin Laden and some of Cynthia's other Arab friends? I'm not implying anything here. I'm just, ya know, asking questions. What did Osama bin Laden know and when did he know it? Oh, he did? That's different. Never mind.
What did this Administration know, and when did it know it about the events of September 11? Who else knew and why did they not warn the innocent people of New York who were needlessly murdered?"
I bet it was all them Jews who wuz told not to go to work that day and didn't show up. Yep. They wuz the ones behind it. And now skipping to the defense of Miz Cynthia and the smear campaign.
As the text of Rep. McKinney's remarks shows, she did NOT imply September 11 was an "Administration Plot." She did not say it, she did not suggest it, and she did not even obliquely hint at it.
Most of us are not saying that she thought it was an "Administration Plot". What most of us, who think Cynthia is a loonie, are saying is that she implied that the administration knew and did nothing. And, as I've pointed out many times, even if they tried to do something to prevent it, Cynthia would be screaming at the top of her lungs about 'ethnic profiling'. And I'm now pounding my keyboard so hard I'm about to break it because even now, knowing that the most likely people to hijack another airplane would be someone of Middle Eastern descent, we still cannot single them out for extra security because we might offend them. Arrggghhh! I meant this to be fun, but now I'm really getting pissed off.
She is demanding an investigation into her charge that Bush may have done nothing because his rich friends stood to profit from the military build-up, The Washington Post reported
McKinney did NOT charge "that Bush may have done
nothing because his rich friends stood to profit from the
military build-up." And since she did NOT make that
charge, she is NOT "demanding an investigation into"
that charge.
I'll agree that she did not make that charge, but she sure as hell made that implication and anyone with the brains of a third grade pissant realizes that. Or, at least, anyone with the brains to not vote for Cynthia McKinney. And stay tuned, because at the end of this post we get to read letters from two of her supporters.
The Washington Post,
a noted right wing newspaper
New York Post, AP, and NY Times
New York Times...another noted right wing newspaper
have variously suggested that Rep. McKinney is a
conspiracy theorist,
Cause she is
crazy,
ditto
pro-Iraqi,
ditto
or an irresponsible publicity-seeker.
Dammit! Ain't there a ditto key on this keyboard?
In fact, Rep. McKinney is a leading champion of human
rights for blacks and all people of color,
Unless that color happens to be white.
both at home
and abroad. She is best known for working with
conservative Republican Chris Smith (R-NJ) to enact a
"code of conduct" for selling arms to dictatorial regimes.
If they're African dictators, they're fine with Cynthia.
She is serving her fifth term in Congress, representing a
district that was only 33% black in 1996.
And 66% loonie. Right smack dab in the middle of her district is Emory University. It is the Emorroids who give her the votes every election. It certainly isn't us bigoted white folks up in Dunwoody.
The media's attempt to portray Cynthia McKinney as
crazy
Actually the media is attempting no such thing. Here Cynthia here's some rope. Knock yourself out.
is a repeat of the media's character assassination
campaigns against Anita Hill
Not Saint Anita? 'Yeah if you drag a twenty dollar bill through a trailor park...' What? That wasn't Anita Hill? Sorry, must have been thinking of someone else. I can't seem to remember any character assassination except by David Brock and he's seen the light and repented.
and Lani Guinier.
Isn't this amazing? Obviously doing an analysis of someone's public writings and reporting what these writings reveal about her thoughts on racial quotas is character assassination. So, by that logic, was what the left did to Judge Bork character assassination? Oh no, that was different. You don't understand. OK. 'Splain it to me.
In all three
cases, outspoken black women have been attacked for
daring to express ideas that challenge the white male
establishment.
Honey, where's my sheet? I gotta go do sumpin' about them uppity black women. What do you mean it's at the cleaners? Dammit, you know we meet every Wednesday.
History has shown that both Anita Hill
and Lani Guinier were telling the truth.
OK. Pubic hairs on coke cans. Long Dong Silver. Bad. Groping women. Boinking interns. Good. It's all about sex. And no one was said Lani Guinier was lying about anything. She was judged by her beliefs. We believed her. We didn't like her beliefs. And it was our first Black President who dumped her. Your boy. Maybe you oughta take it up with him.
History will also
show that Cynthia McKinney is telling the truth.
That remains to be seen. History will, however, show that she is a loonie.
We
believed Anita Hill and Lani Guinier - and we believe
Cynthia McKinney too.
And we also believe in the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus, and the check's in the mail, and that howler from Dan Rather, 'I believe Bill Clinton is an honorable man'.
And they want all the believers to write letters to the media and send them to public@democrats.com. and they'll publish them to their website. C'mon all you public spirited bloggers let's get to work!
And now without further ado, let's read a couple of letters from Cynthia's supporters. They can be found here. You'll have to scroll down a few.
Stephen Whitaker of Decatur Georgia (Emory U is in Decatur) writes
I cannot adequately express the dismay I feel at your decision to perpetuate
bigotry through your informal study of election contribution records for names
that "appear to be Arab-American or Muslim" in reference to Rep. Cynthia
McKinney's (D-Ga.) re-election campaign ("Arab-American dollars shore up
McKinney," News, June 22)
Steve, we have this funny policy in this country called reporting. See, since most of these contributors are from outside Cynthia's district, we might wonder why it is they are contributing large sums of money to her campaign. Let me make an analogy that you might understand. Let's just say that there are a bunch of defense contractors that started making money after 9/11 and that they contibuted a bunch of money to the Bush administration and that administration....See, you believe that right? No fair! No fair! Make him stop! He's using logic on me.
While I do not necessarily support McKinney's positions on many issues,
So part of your brain is working?
I do
abhor the sort of blatant racism that you have chosen to demonstrate.
Here's a neat question. Cynthia's opponent in the primary is gonna attract a lot of donations from Jewish groups. Will you be just as upset about racism if, and when, the AJC reports that?
As a
former journalist, I am aware of how (and why) stories are assigned, selected
and placed.
Steve, I was kinda surprised about the placement also. I made that comment in a blog from last week. I guess the AJC is tired of having the rest of the country laugh at Atlanta.
As a student of history,
Then I guess you've heard about the 'free press'. It wuz in all the papers.
I am also aware of the damage this sort of decision visits
on marginalized communities
And with Cynthia as our congresscritter, Dunwoody is a marginalized community. I mean she didn't even send us the big 'ol expensive book of her accomplishments that she sent to South DeKalb and you folks in Decatur. Talk about being marginalized.
and ultimately negatively affects us all. Perhaps
you would do well to revisit history --- particularly that of your own newspaper ---
and attempt to learn from it.
Yeah, the AJC has endorsed her a few times. They're trying to rectify that mistake.
And now let's hear from Ed Hunt.
Regarding Cynthia McKinney receiving financial support from the Arab-American
community --- please!
Thank you...and you're welcome.
You would have me believe that McKinney's political boat has been bought by
Arab-American dollars?
No Ed. You can believe what you want. Most intelligent people would believe that. We report. You decide.
Why not take the picture showing McKinney in front of
the backdrop of the letters "World Vision," and put it on the front page with the
headline "McKinney risks seat with support for Arab-Americans," which was
really what the article was about.
Ya know, they were thinking of doing that, but decided to be a little more subtle than that. It didn't matter. It still worked. It pissed you off.
You guys amaze me. Do you think everybody is stupid?
Nope. Just the people who vote for Cynthia.
Like shooting fish in a barrel.
Huh? Waddya mean I'm a failure? After yesterday? Yep. And I'll get to why in a minute. First off let me say that yesterday was the best day of my short life in the blogosphere. I would like to thank Fred at Rantburg and Mr. Quick at DailyPundit (and go there to read a letter from someone who calls himself a 'liberal moron' and then sets out to prove it...didn't Mark Twain say sumpin' along the lines of it's better to be thought stupid rather than opening your mouth to prove it?...Paraphrasing of course. Oh man, hate mail like that is like manna from heaven. I'm looking forward to stuff like that.). So, I'm writing last night's blog and the phone rings and it's my sister in California and she says, 'InstaPundit just linked to you!' Thank you Glenn Reynolds! Got more hits last night than in my two previous months in the blogosphere put together. And thanks to all those who took the time to send me e-mails. One person was nice enough to give me the name of the P. J. O'Rourke book, Holidays in Hell (it will be in my next Amazon order), that describes the Middle East as God's Monkey House. Another, was nice enough to send me the link to the Atlantic Monthly article that Molly quoted. Dammit, I lost the link, but if you go over to Isntapundit.com (not instapundit) I think he links to it in one of his blogs. I would have put that in as a link, but, I always check my links and I got sumpin' wrong on my PC and when I try to go to his site Netscape blows up and Internet Explorer pisses off Windoz (it must be a family feud...how can it blow up?..it's part of the Windoz code!) and won't work either. This is only on my PC. At work I was able to access his site. Give him a visit. In the future, a rant about Microsoft. Back to Molly She only quoted the parts that agreed with her argument. Actually, the article was pretty much pro war with Iraq. Molly, like most leftists, never seems to let facts get in her way. I answered every letter, but, if you didn't get a reply it has to be sumpin' wrong with the pops server. I sent two notes to my work id and they never arrived. Yeah. Yeah. A likely story.
I am a technocrat. I'm also a techno prima donna. If you don't know what that makes me, go get Scott Adams' book, the Joy of Work. I gave that to my friend, Cindy, one year for her birthday and she called me up the next day and asked when I had met Scott Adams, 'cause I was in his book. Think of Dilbert on crack. I've mellowed out some. I haven't screamed at anyone in almost a year. And in my last two meetings with my manager for my evaluation and for my TIETDNY (Things I Expect To Do Next Year) planning session I just sat there with a shit-eating grin on my face like an Organian telling Captain Kirk that there was nothing to worry about. No one's been killed. See, I turned 55 last year and they can't fire me. They can only make me retire. heh heh heh
As anyone who has poked back through my archives knows, here at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), when times get bad we usually have a FQP (Quality Program...and they always say at the start 'This is not Another FQP'. Which of course tells everyone the the Last FQP was Another FQP). Another variation is a competency program. My sister, who is also a technocrat tells me they do similar things at TCSDNN (The Company She Dares Not Name). This is where CTF (Crawl To Failure) comes in. CTF is a competency program that all of us who work for (here comes a mouthful) MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (My Business Unit Of My Particular Organization Of TCIDNN) have to take. It will solve all of our problems. It is a computer based learning course that will make us all better workers for MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. In previous blogs I discussed how part of the course consisted of neat multimedia displays with twirling geometric shapes and other things of wonder and delight. I didn't learn much, but I had to hand it to the designer, he/she did an excellent job. I also had to download databases and get passwords and authorizations. I also got to see the Vision and Mission Statement of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. These were literally works of buzzword art. Nay, they had to be written by the Michaelangelo of buzzwords.
Wednesday, I started on the very last unit of CTF. It was another course that I had to sign up for. So I went to sign up.
Well, this ain't working. Oh look, there's a place to reset your password.
So it's off to e-mail. Look, here's a note.
And back to e-mail and there's my new password. As Dave Barry would say. 'I am not making any of this up.'
Off to the website to enroll in the course. It's another multimedia course, but not as much work went into this one. None of the figures in the displays move. I feel cheated.
The first module discusses MPOOTCIDNN's (My Particular Organization Of TCIDNN) business strategy and says it is based on The MPOOTCIDNN Method known as 'The Method'. Bam! I'm immediately transported (my mind that is) to Ethel the Frog. Ethel the Frog? Yep! Ethel the Frog from one of my favorite Monty Python episodes. Besides Ethel the Frog, it had in it the Gas Cooker Sketch and the Ministery of Silly Walks.
Doug and Dinsdale Piranha...began to operate what they called 'The Operation'.
Flashback over, I began to concentrate on the matter at hand, i.e. learning sumpin'. I soon discover that you can actually bypass the screens in the module and go right to the review questions and, this is the neat part, you don't have to answer the questions properly:
The Method is important because:
OK let's see...What should I pick?
Now here's the neat part. If you write down all these questions with the right answers you've got it made because, with a few minor differences, these are the same questions used for the final exam. One of my coworkers told me this. I, ahem, aced the final exam. No. No. Hold the applause.
So the only real reason I went through most of the course was to increase my buzzword vocabulary. A short list follows:
It was about this time that I quit keeping track and tested my way through the rest of the course. Then all that was left was to send in my completion notification.
I did it! I'm done! I've Crawled to Failure! I am a Failure!
It's a wonderful feeling!
It's a happy day here at GOC Central in Beautiful Dunwoody Georgia. Last night I was looking at the links list at Rantburg, and it said if your name should be on it, e-mail me. I did. Hey, I'm not above a little begging. Much to my surprise, not only did Fred add my name, but he also gave me a plug. Thank yew Fred! Rantburg is one of my favorite sites. No really. I'd say that even without the plug. He's a smart-ass. I'm a smart-ass. He's just smarter and more consistent than I am. Also, looking at my referrals, I also got a plug from Daily Pundit. Thanks to Mr. Quick. Now, I'm under pressure not to suck. No guarantees in that department. Remember, in the blogosphere, ya get whatcha pay for.
I remember reading something Steven Den Beste wrote a while back. We bloggers do this for the love of writing. In my case, I do it because the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation does not realize how perceptive I am and publish every letter I write. So, I write to the blogosphere. If someone reads what I write, that's even better.
So let's see who fed it and who ate it. OK I stole that from Dennis Miller, but he quit using it. Got this story off of Drudge:
U.S. tennis great Martina Navratilova criticized her adopted homeland in a German newspaper on Wednesday, saying money is the only thing that matters there.
She oughtta know. She made enough.
Navratilova, a Czech-born American who won 18 grand slam singles titles when she dominated women's tennis in the late 1970s and 1980s, also wrote in an article for Die Zeit weekly that she believed free speech was being suppressed in the United States.
Got any examples?
"The most absurd part of my escape from the unjust system is that I have exchanged one system that suppresses free opinion
Where you'd get shot.
for another,"
Where we just laugh at you for saying sumpin' that stupid.
said Navratilova, 45, who fled Czechoslovakia at the age of 18 to go to the United States.
Where she would get to make a lot of money. Also she'd get to keep it.
"The Republicans in the United States manipulate public opinion and sweep any controversial issues under the table," Navratilova said.
Bonking interns. Fraudulent land deals. Illegal campaign contributions. Turnstiles in the Lincoln bedroom. What? That wasn't the Republicans? Don't Lanny Davis, Paul Begala, and James Carville work for the Republican Party?
"It's depressing. Decisions in America are based solely on the question of 'how much money will come out of it' and not on the questions of how much health, morals or the environment suffer as a result."
And somehow we've managed to create the most free and open society with the highest standard of living than any country in the history of this planet. I guess we're just lucky.
Why don't you, Alec Baldwin, and Roger Altman....oh, never mind. That's too easy. Anyway the three egos wouldn't fit on the same plane.
And now lets return to the religion of peace and tolerance with this gem from the Jerusalem Post, also courtesy of Drudge.
An article appearing this week in the Palestinian Authority newspaper, Al-Hayat Al-Jadeeda, criticizes US National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice as "the dark- complexioned lady" whose policies have "dealt a blow to the image of the African-American in the eyes of the vast majority of the world's inhabitants."
And I don't think the Democratic Party was too thrilled either. Bush's cabinet that 'looks like America' actually went out and got some competent people who 'look like America.'
Itamar Marcus, director of the Israeli Palestinian Media Watch, quotes the article published on Sunday as saying:
"My enthusiasm for George Bush increased after he entered the White
House and chose to appoint to his administration two people from
among the colored,
OK. Where's the diversity training? They're African-Americans. Or black. Or sometimes even people of color. Never colored. That went out in the 60's.
a first in the history of American administrations: Secretary of State
Colin Powell and National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice.
And dontcha just know that the Democrats wish they would have done that? That's all right. Hillary can have Jesse Jackson as Secretary of State and Al Sharpton as National Security Advisor when she's da Prez.
We said then, both in private and in public, that these colored
African-American
senior officials are a part of the Third World,
No, they live in the United States. Last time I checked that wasn't the Third World.
even if only due to the color of their skin," Dr. Abd Al-Aziz Al-Maqaleh
writes in the Arabic-language daily, according to Marcus' translation,
which he released on Thursday.
Oh, I get it. If you're 'colored' you live in the Third World. Thanks for straightening me out on that Doc.
"But what happened after that was embarrassing and astonishing,
especially what happened with the dark-complexioned lady,
Don't she know her place?
or, more accurately: black,
That's better.
the National Security Advisor," the article continues.
"What compounds the astonishment is that the Black Lady
always makes a point, whether the opportunity presents
itself or not, of denouncing the Palestinians to the point
See she's got this thing about people who like to strap bombs to 'emselves and blow up innocent people. We've tried to talk to her about that, but she's adamant. She just thinks that's not right.
where her positions and statements have come to be nearly
daily lessons to the American people and the world,
That people who strap bombs to 'emselves to off innocent people are terrorists.
causing regret to every Arab who was optimistic about her arrival
on the political scene."
All them other colored people wuz always on our side. How come she's not like Cynthia McKinney? She hates Jews.
According to Marcus, the writer goes on to call Rice a "pitiful
woman who has dealt a blow to the image of the
African-American in the eyes of the vast majority of
the world's inhabitants."
Yep! They're not all demagogues like Jesse and Rev Al. Condi, you go girl!
It's been a while since I've had some fun with my favorite humorist, Molly Ivins. So Without further ado, let's go to work on this column about war and peace.
"Jaw, jaw," said Winston Churchill, "is better than war, war."
Unless dealing with Hitler, Hitler. Or Saddam, Saddam.
I bring up the not-often-contested notion that peace is better than war only
because it seems the Bush administration is incapable of grasping the
self-evident.
The self evident is that peace is better than war, but war has been declared on us.
According to The New York Times,
All the news that's fit to distort.
President Bush has directed his top security people -- a
happy nest of neo-con hawks -- "to make a doctrine of pre-emptive
action against states and terrorist groups trying to develop
weapons of mass destruction.
And this is bad because...
" This means, we declare war first. This dogma "will be the foundation of a new national security strategy."
No, once again, war has been declared on us. We're just going after the bad guys before they nuke us.
Let's see, we already have our military in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Uzbekistan,
Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Georgia and the Philippines. We are also deeply into Colombia as part of the Drug War and have fairly regular deployment by special ops in Somalia, Iraq, Syria and Yemen.
And coming soon, to a theater of ops near you Iraq (and maybe Syria, too).
Good thing for India and Pakistan they made it into the Nuclear Club before the deadline, eh? Let's see, add Iran, North Korea and some of the nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents-for-life -- I make that between 20 and 30 wars we'll have to fight under the new doctrine.
India and Pakistan did not declare war on us. Anyway, they're too busy fighting each other. And guess what, Iran is starting to suck up to us. Betcha they get real friendly if we knock Saddam off. Just like all the 'nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents for life'. Just a couple of military operations and I think the little pissant countries will fall in line.
Then you have to add in all the "failed states."
I thought we covered that with the 'nuttier princes, kings, sheiks, presidents for life'.
The administration says it is "fine-tuning" the
doctrine to include joint operations with other powers:
If the Euroweenies want to help out OK. If not we'll do it ourselves.
"Potential targets include weak states that have become,
in the words of one official, 'petri dishes' for terrorist groups."
Like Afghanistan, maybe?
You can't exactly have a war between, say, Sierra Leone and
the United States. When there's no actual government, we end
up trying to control a bunch of warlords -- and, as we have learned
in Somalia
Bush is not Bill Clinton.
and Afghanistan, it ain't easy.
Did I miss something? I thought Afghanistan went pretty well.
The trouble with such non-wars is that there's no exit
strategy; we're in for indefinite occupation.
Go in, kill the bad guys and leave. If it works in Afghanistan, (and we'll see if it does) we oughta be able to make it work elsewhere. Don't know unless we try.
Do we really think this is a good idea?
Yep!
OK, what we're really trying to do here is set up some policy rationale for
attacking Iraq
We've already done that.
and possibly the other Axes of Evil, as well.
Have you heard the news out of Iran? They're sucking up. Plus the mullahs are losing control. If we successfully take out Iraq, I don't think we'll have to worry about Iran. As for North Korea, its economy is in shambles and its people are starving. It just may implode like the Soviet Union did.
It's not that easy to argue against taking out Saddam.
Good. Let's not bother.
But as Joshua Marshall
Who's he?
points out in the current issue of The Washington Monthly,
the people who are urging us to attack Iraq are either dishonest
or simplistic, or both, in their arguments.
Are these the same people who wanted to go after Afghanistan?
They are failing to ask, much less answer, some basic questions
about the risks. Their cheerful premise that it will relatively easy
to take out Saddam is based on their equally cheerful ignorance.
I'm sorry, I missed that Defense Department strategy meeting. Was it on MSNBC? No one watches that network. Molly, no one said it would be easy to take out Saddam. If it were, we would have done it already.
What the hawks hope is that the Iraqi people hate Saddam Hussein
They do.
and will be delighted to see us show up and liberate
them.
The people of Afghanistan were pretty happy to see us.
Unfortunately, we'll have to bomb them first. In case you
hadn't noticed, this tends to make us unpopular.
Depends on how many people we kill. Our bombs have gotten pretty selective. Not too much collateral damage in Afghanistan. I know the Kurds and the Shi'ites will be happy to see us. They hate Saddam. He gassed 'em.
Marshall reports, "When asked what would happen if America
encountered an embittered civilian population after fighting a grisly
battle for Baghdad,
We're hoping that doesn't happen. Iraqis surrender better than the French. At least they did in 1991.
Perle replied with a question, 'Suppose the Iraqis are dancing
in the streets after Saddam is gone?'"
Could happen. Lot's of Afghanis were doing it after the rout of the Taliban. Cue the music.
That non-answer is based on the false premise that
if the Iraqis hate Saddam, they're bound to love us, which is
nonsense.
Actually, we don't care if they love us. Just don't make weapons of mass destruction and be good little Iraqis.
Asked about the possibility that an attack on Iraq would so upset Arab
peoples they would overthrow now-friendly governments in Jordan, Egypt
Ain't gonna happen. And if it does, we got Israel to cover our flanks, thanks to Bush's latest policy on the Middle East. Pretty neat, huh?
and Saudi Arabia,
Mustn't forget out 'friends' the Saudis.
the neo-cons dismiss the question. "All the better if
you ask me," Adelman told Marshall. What's better about
having Islamist fanatics running Egypt and Saudi Arabia?
Egypt loses $3 billion a year. The Saudi's? That's a good question. The regime couldn't be worse than what they got now. What regime do you think sponsors most of the terrorism?
If we're going to do this, I suggest the administration prepare the
country for exactly how big the risks are.
I seem to remember a few speeches about that. Maybe Molly missed 'em. They were on all the networks. One of them was the State of the Union.
Unfortunately, it seems more inclined to question the patriotism of
anyone who asks questions.
Depends on the questions and who asks 'em. If it's Barbra Streisand the administration would probably just burst out into hysterical laughter.
As for the longer menu of war and near-war under the Bush Doctrine,
why not try peace instead?
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
The hope of the world has been the slow growth and
development of international law.
Stop it! Your killing me! International law? Who enforces it? The United Nations? Pass me the bong. I need a real good hit after that one!
Announcing that we will declare war "pre-emptively" whenever
we feel like it does nothing to promote peace.
Huh? She lost me there. We're not trying to promote peace. We're trying to prevent lunatics from killing us.
What makes us think our intelligence is good enough to learn
if and where such weapons are being developed?
After eight years of Clinton it's not. But we're working on it.
When Clinton tried to go after Al Qaeda,
To distract us from Monica.
he missed Osama bin Ladin by an hour
Dammit! Just missed! All I got were a few goats!
and destroyed a harmless pharmaceutical factory in Sudan.
The FBI, the CIA and the rest of them managed to ignore the
warning signs on 9-11.
And even if we did, we couldn't have stopped it because it would have involved profiling men of Middle Eastern descent which you liberal twits won't let us do.
We're not competent enough to go around declaring
"pre-emptive war."
For the millionth time, the war has been delared against us. If you sponsor terrorism, you are against us.
Why not announce in advance that we plan to work with other
countries on solving the problem of terrorism.
Saddam, we'd like to talk to you about terrorism. Could we come over next Tuesday. Let's do lunch.
Why not try waging peace first?
Kumbaya.
A.J. Muste said, "There is no way to peace: Peace is the way."
George Bush said, 'In the war on terror, you are either with us, or against us'.
What can this doctrine possibly achieve except creating more
hatred of the United States?
Ya know Molly, I don't really care if they hate us or not. I just don't want to see any more 9/11's.
Should be a real short blog tonight. Gonna say a few things about Bush's speech. Opinions are all over the map. Chris Johnson, over at MJC thinks it's full of empty platitudes and cliches. While den Beste thinks it is a policy statement. P. J. O'Rourke, in one of his books (and I'm sorry, I cannot remember which one except it is the only one I don't have), called the Middle East God's monkey house. His solution was to build a big ol' fence around the region and let 'em slug it out. That's pretty close to what Bush is saying.
My interpretation:
It looks like Cheney, Rice, and Rumsfeld won the battle with Powell and the State Department. Now, we get to see If Powell will get on board or decide to resign at a later date.
What does the New York Times have to say about it?
Today, however, after a week of renewed Palestinian suicide bombings, Mr. Bush declared the price of statehood for 4.5 million Palestinians, and it will be high: the removal of Yasir Arafat as the Palestinian leader.
And an end to terrorism. We will not stop the Israelis from defending themselves.
The policy is still short on the details of how a cease-fire could be put in place — how the Israeli Army might be coaxed out of the West Bank or how Palestinian security institutions might be rebuilt to prevent suicide bombings. Those are important factors in creating conditions for a political process that could move forward.
Sounds pretty straight forward to me. Dump Arafat and stop terrorism. Unfortunately, a generation that has been brainwashed into glorifying death and instilled with overwheming hatred can't be fixed in three years. How about ten years? How about twenty years? That's the problem. And it is the Palestinians' problem, not ours. They can embrace civilized behavior or they can continue living in desolation and squalor. Their choice. Do you think Israel wants to maintain a military presence in the West Bank?
For all the risks in a policy that sends a sharp message to Mr. Arafat that he is irrelevant, the recent track record of splitting differences in the Middle East has been a dismal failure. "Everything is shoved down the road so, and it was so conditional," said Richard W. Murphy, a onetime assistant secretary or state for the Middle East who served Democratic and Republican administrations. He added that Mr. Bush could face a "dilemma" if — in defiance of American pressure to remove the icon of their national movement — Palestinians re-elect Mr. Arafat at the first opportunity, which is expected to be next spring.
No problem. Arafat stays. No state. See how easy that was?
"Arafat never struck me as the kind who would want to step down in the name of national interest, because he thinks he knows it better than anyone else," Mr. Murphy said.
No problem. Arafat stays. No state. See how easy that was?
A significant risk is that while Mr. Bush waits for Palestinians to live up to the benchmarks he set forth from the Rose Garden of the White House, the violence will simply continue, or even intensify.
Then that puts the ball in the Israelis' court. Sharon, or if he is not successful, Netanyahu crushes the Palestinians, or initiates ethnic cleansing by removing them to Gaza or Lebanon.
It was also unclear how changing the Palestinian leadership would actually proceed after the United States and European countries helped Palestinians carry out local and national elections over the next year, or how those elections would be carried out at all if violence and Israeli occupation of the Palestinian territories continued.
Stop the violence. Act civilized. Grow up. Sounds pretty straight forward to me. Once again, it is the Palestinian's choice.
Mr. Indyk added that he was concerned that Mr. Bush offered too little clarity to Palestinians. "He needed to give definition to what the Palestinian state would look like and that would give the Palestinians a greater sense of what they would get in return for ditching their leadership." he said.
The state would look like whatever they wanted it to look like as long as it was willing to coexist peacefully with Israel. Once again, pretty clear to me.
...Arab adviser said he did not think most Arab leaders were alarmed that Mr. Bush had taken a muscular stand on the need to create a democratic and transparent state for Palestinians.
They should be.
"The democratization of the Palestinian leadership is a point well taken, and obviously it was targeted against Arafat, but there will be elections there and we will see," the adviser said.
Dump Arafat. Or, no state. Bush didn't stutter.
Putting the best face on the speech in Washington was Hassan Abdulrahman, Mr. Arafat's official representative here. The president, he said, "spoke of many things that we wanted to hear, an end to the Israeli occupation, and he challenged Israelis to freeze the settlements, withdraw their troops and respect Palestinian rights."
And one thing he didn't want to hear: dump Arafat.
Asked whether he understood the speech to be a direct challenge to Mr. Arafat's rule, Mr. Abdulrahman was evasive. He pointed out that Mr. Bush never used Mr. Arafat's name in the speech when he called for new leadership.
He didn't have to. What did you want to hear? Mr. Arafat meet the dustbin of history. Dustbin meet Arafat. Ciao, baby.
For now, Mr. Abdulrahman said he preferred not to focus on the "ambiguity" of Mr. Bush's remarks, and added: "He asked us for elections that may produce a new leadership. We are committed to elections and Yasir Arafat is committed to elections."
Ambiguity? Ambiguity? And Arafat is committed to elections? As long as he can get Jimmy Carter to oversee them? Have you been listening? Arafat is history. We're tired of dealing with him. Na na na na. Na na na na. Hey hey hey. Goo-od By-ey
Still, a number of experts expressed concerns that Mr. Bush has set out a task that Palestinians will be hard put to perform.
I agree with this. But, if they want a state, they gotta quit killing Jews and accept the fact of Israel's existence. Once again, it's up to them.
Stephen P. Cohen of the Israel Policy Forum said that while Mr. Bush today charted a vision of a solution that marks "an advance over where the United States has been in the past," the prescription the president laid out "still has the basic framework which is that the Palestinians have to act first."
That's probably why it will fail. The Palestinians have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
But, Mr. Indyk added, if Mr. Bush is trying satisfy the calls from Arab leaders to act on the Palestinian problem before moving "on to Baghdad" to topple Saddam Hussein, then the policy "is not going to work."
Uh, Mr. Indyk, what Mr. Bush is saying is that solving the Palestinian problem is not connected to moving "on to Baghdad". And he's telling Arab leaders exactly that. He's taken the leash off of Ariel Sharon. And he's telling the Arab states to acknowledge Israel's right to exist and quit funding terror. Saddam Hussein is soon gonna be history and if the rest of the Arab states are not careful, their regimes will be next.
At least, I'm hoping that is what he is saying. Only time will tell.
Another interesting weekend here in Beautiful Dunwoody Georgia. Went to friends for dinner Saturday evening. After the salad and steak out by the pool (by the pool...well la de da...obviously a bunch of rich white folks...uh, yeah, Dunwoody is populated by upper class folks, most of us worked our butts off to get that way), we went inside to have some cheese and wine. As Michael was scanning the channels, he came across a show on MSNBC, the network that no one watches, that grabbed our attention.
The first half of the show was about men who became women. Ya know, went through the sex change surgery and took the hormone treatment. We were glued to the TV screen. What we really thought was funny, and what Cindy told me was the norm, was that most of these people said they preferred women. So, they were lesbians trapped in a man's body? Weird.
But it gets better. The second half of the show was about cross dressing. I know it was not politically correct (but as anyone who has been following my writing for the last two months knows the grouchy old cripple is not at all politically correct), but we were laughing our heads off. One of the men featured worked for TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) and mentioned that he had talked to the local diversity council for TCIDNN. At that, Michael and Cindy turned and looked at me and I just had to say, 'At TCIDNN, we really value diversity.'
So MSNBC is now the trash network? Why did they let Geraldo go? This program was presented in all seriousness. The three of us watching seriously believed that when this show was written, the writers were doing it as a joke. We figgered they must be watching it, rolling on the floor, and saying 'The stupid bastards actually bought it.'
I have expressed my opinions on diversity many times. I did a post on May 15 where I discussed some of my views on gays and other diversity type folks. What I essentially said was if someone is gay, I don't care. And if a man wants to dress up as a woman, I don't care. Why are you telling me about it? Do you want to come to work like that? I don't care! It's none of my business. Can you do the job? That's really all I care about. Can you deal with people at work laughing at you if you look really stupid dressed as woman? If not, don't go whining to the diversity police about it. Not everyone thinks that is normal behavior. That is why, even in business casual, there are still dress codes. Don't expect the company to change the dress codes because you are a loony. There, I said it. I think cross dressers are loony. I'm sure some of the things that I do in the privacy of my home could be construed as loony behavior. That is why I do them in the privacy of my home. I certainly do not go on national television to tell everyone about it. No wait. This is MSNBC we're talking about here. It's not really national television. Their highest rated program is the Imus in the Morning radio show!
So we learned a lot more than we really wanted to about transgenders and transvestites. Thanks MSNBC for performing this valuable service.
Sunday, I slept late. As is my wont, I laid in bed leisurely reading the Atlanta paper. Braves won. The Mets suck. Good news so far. A letter from Eric Hovdesven of Atlanta about how Cynthia Tucker was picking on poor lil Cynthia McKinney. Let's look at some excerpts:
In her June 9 column ("GOP to blame for blacks' fear of the 'R' word"), Cynthia Tucker continues to misrepresent U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney's call for an investigation into intelligence failures before accepting the administration's
unprecedented military spending increases under the guise of responding to
Sept. 11.
No Eric, she thinks Ms McKinney is a loony. She has stated facts. You know those little things that are anathema to leftists. Our resident loony said that Bush knew the attacks were coming and did nothing to prevent them so his cronies in the defense industry could make lots of money. First, the only way he could have prevented them was to 'profile' Middle Eastern men, which even after 9/11, we still cannot do(!!!!!) thanks to loonies like you and our resident nutcase. Second, in case you didn't notice, 9/11 was a declaration of war. The increase of military spending is not 'under the guise of responding to Sept.11', it is a direct response to Sept 11, you booger eatin' moh-ron.
What is most troubling is that the attacks by Tucker, the head editorialist of
Atlanta's only daily metrowide newspaper, have become embarrassingly
emotional and mean-spirited.
Here Eric falls back on the tried and true method of leftists (Leftist Handbook of Debate, page 5...OK I made that up) of calling someone 'mean spirited' when they cannot argue their case on merit or using facts. Welfare reform...mean spirited. Insisting people take responsibility for their actions...mean spirited. Cynthia McKinney is a certified nutcase...mean spirited.
Apparently, Tucker knows that the facts do not support her incessant attacks on the congresswoman so she reverts to name-calling, hurling words such as "wild and wacky," "loose cannon" and "outrageous rhetoric."
Here again, most people of even moderate inteliigence would describe McKinney that way. Guess you haven't been listening to her very much, huh, Eric? I guess Eric would call McKinney a towering intellect or a voice of reason. I got it. How about the conscience of the House of Representatives? We got Joe Liberman in the Senate and Cynthia McKinney in the House.
Finally, as if that isn't enough, Tucker finishes the job with her underlying
message that McKinney and those who vote for her are somehow of lesser
intellect than Tucker and her Harvard-educated friends.
Actually Eric, if she's saying anything it's that people of normal intellect should recognize that Mckinney is a wacko.
Well, shoot, even I can see what is going on here.
Sorrry Eric, you can't.
And then Cynthia Tucker writes a column about our insane drug war. Whoa Nellie! What's going on here? I keep agreeing with her. Have I been teleported to an alternate universe?
At 4:30 I hop into the shower to get ready for the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta's annual banquet. I'm going with Michael and Cindy. That way, Cindy can drive if Michael and I have too much to drink, which is usually the case. I'm halfway to their house when I realize I didn't shave. Getting old is a bitch. The memory is the second thing to go and I can't remember the first. So, I shave at their house. Cindy says it was because I was trying to decide what dress to wear. I said that's right. I looked in the closet and I couldn't find a single thing to wear. Michael has printed off a map from Map Quest and I've printed a map from Yahoo. I like Yahoo because the printed directions are printed in larger type which makes it easier for old farts, like myself, to read. Even so, we did make one wrong turn. We needed my sister, who is a splendid navigator.
So we made it to the restaurant OK. It is in a rather rundown neighbnorhood of Atlanta that is undergoing gentrification. Lots of old warehouses means lots of new yuppie lofts. The restaurant is in an old converted industrial building. We were going to eat outside, but since it was raining the dinner was moved upstairs. Oh boy! Stairs! I love stairs! I'm a cripple, ya know. So I make it up the stairs OK. I'm sure some of you are asking about now, 'What's with the title? What does any of this have to do with 'Hair's on Fire'? We're almost there.
While Cindy is getting me a glass of champagne, I'm leaning against the wall to make standing easier. All of a sudden I smell something burning. What's that I wonder? I turn around and right about the height of my head are these little wall mounted gas lamps. I put two and two together (hadn't started drinking yet so my thought processes were still what passes for normal for GOC) and realized it was my hair burning! I start patting out the fire and calmly tell Cindy that my hair was on fire. 'Oh my God!' she says. 'Your hair is on fire!' Ummm. Didn't I just say that? We manage to get the fire under control without having to call the fire department. Fortunately, Cindy is a nurse and is able to determine that there is no serious damage done. I just feel stupid.
The dinner was delicious. The wines, as usual are very good. I mean, this is the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta. Our sole raison d'etre is to drink good wine. I sat across from two men who are very active in Georgia politics. They are Republicans. There aren't really too many Democrats in the Sommelier Guild. We had a nice conversation all during the dinner. They told me some interesting things about some Republican politicians. They also had some dirt on Cynthia McKinney. Since I cannot verify it, I will not repeat it here. They also told me I could vote in the Democratic primary. Guess whom I won't be voting for?
After the dinner, I make it down the stairs OK. Down is easy. Whoooops! See, I'm down. Cindy's driving. It's my responsibility to get us back to I-75. I get us to North Ave. Close. From there, Michael knows how to get to I-75. A good exercise in teamwork. We make it back to their house OK. I make it home OK. In all, a very enjoyable evening. My head doesn't even hurt.
But, may I recommend, if you go out to dinner, hair flambe should not be on the menu.
Unless, of course, you are Michael Jackson.
I don't usually blog on Saturdays, but I picked up the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation and the thought flashed through my mind: What's going on here? One of the headlines was Charlotte man guilty of funding terrorists (not found guilty as I would expect the AJC to say), and right below it was the headline Arab-American dollars shore up McKinney. What's this? Was there some kind of Freudian slip here? It almost sounds like the AJC is trying to do a little guilt by association on our 'cutest little communist in congress'.
Let's look a little closer at the article on 'conspiracy theory Cynthia'. First off, they always seem to show the same picture with the bug eyes and the open mouth. Cynthia's mouth is always open so they may as well. The piece starts out:
The relationship that Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) shares with Arab-Americans runs deeper than her call for more attention to the Palestinian side of the Middle Eastern conflict.
She hates Jews as much as they do.
The DeKalb County congresswoman's connections stretch significantly into the pockets and purses of the Arab-American and Muslim communities.
They recognize a kindred spirit. See above.
About one-fourth of the individuals who have contributed to McKinney's campaigns over the past five years have names that appear to be Arab-American or Muslim, according to an informal study of Federal Election Commission records.
See above.
Their contributions total $142,950, a full third of the money McKinney has collected from individuals over the last five years, a review of government records by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution indicates.
Bigotry is profitable.
Arab-American leaders, including some who believe their community has been singled out for persecution since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, say the explanation for their generosity is simple: McKinney is a longtime supporter.
Did I mention that she also hates Jews?
Their concerns are particularly pertinent in the wake of regulations proposed by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft to require certain foreign visitors, particularly those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent, to submit to more extensive border security checks.
Some people would call this 'ethnic profiling', but since all the 9/11 hijackers were men of 'Middle Eastern and Muslim descent', those of us with the mental capacity above that of a third grade pissant would call that 'common sense', something we have seen very little of lately. Remember, it is 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' who have declared war on this country and I'm still waiting for 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' in this country to condemn 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' for performing acts of terrorism on this country. And I don't want to hear any 'root cause' bullshit. I'm sick of that phrase. Here's the 'root cause': You assholes hate us and our way of life. You want war? Fine. You started it. We're gonna win it. Shut up and quit whining. You don't like it? Delta is ready when you are.
Arab-American leaders say McKinney has spoken in their defense when other members of Congress would not. They appreciate that she has lamented the quality of life that Palestinians in the Middle East suffer.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's all Israel's fault. If they would just lay down their arms and let us slaughter them everything would be all right.
"McKinney has addressed our conventions more than once. She has received standing ovations.
Screaming 'Death to the Jews!' will do that.
She has brought tears to people's eyes more than once," said Hussein Ibish, spokesman for the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee.
Hussein, old buddy, on this we agree: Cynthia brings tears to my eyes every time she opens her mouth. Sometimes they are tears of laughter. Sometimes they are tears of rage. Mostly they are tears of sadness that I have to be in her district.
The contributions are a sizable chunk of McKinney's campaign bank account, especially when compared with those of other members of Congress. For instance, Rep. John Dingell (D-Mich.), whose district includes part of the largest Arab-American community in the nation, took in $21,525 from individual contributors with names that appear to be Arab-American or Muslim, according to the AJC study. That amount equals not quite 3 percent of Dingell's $835,893 in campaign contributions over the five-year period.
Maybe he does not score as high on the Jew hate meter?
"My relationships with the Arab-American and American Muslim communities are based on the belief that they, like Americans of all ethnic and religious backgrounds, are full members of the American family," McKinney said.
Except for white people and Jews. She left that part out.
"As African-Americans, we understand what it's like to have our values, institutions and leadership berated or delegitimized," she said. "It's not enough just to speak out against hate crimes. We must also oppose the kind of stereotyping and incitement that allow violence to thrive and that are directed at Arabs and Muslims with increasing regularity in some circles."
If the Jews would just lay down their arms.....If white folks would just pay us reparations....If we could just pass a hate crime bill.......
Not everyone is happy with McKinney's relationship with some Arab-Americans. The conservative Southeastern Legal Foundation, based in Atlanta, has charged that some of her donors have pledged support for organizations engaged in terrorism.
No! How could that be? Islam is a religion of peace.
The leader of one of the groups, the American Muslim Council, did not return a reporter's telephone call, but he has told other publications that he supports only the humanitarian efforts of the organizations in question, not terrorist attacks.
Women, old people and children are legitimate military targets. Those five year old girls are fierce fighters.
McKinney's relationship with the Arab-American community goes back years. In 1991, as a member of the Georgia House, she admonished President George Bush for attacking Iraq. About two-thirds of her House colleagues angrily walked out.
If only two thirds of her district would do the same and vote her out. I do my part every election.
Arab-American organizations have been appreciative. While there are a handful of Arab-American officeholders in Washington, including Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, those who speak out to defend Arab-Americans and explain their views are few, Ibish said.
We hate Jews. We hate Israel. We want to kill Jews. We want to obliterate Israel. Sounds pretty easy to defend to me.
Over the years, she has spoken often at Arab-American charity fund-raisers and political functions, and she was a good friend of Hala Maksoud, head of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, who died recently.
I'm just curious about how much of that 'charity' money went to fund terrorism?
"She has a real understanding of our concerns and our experiences, which is quite rare for any member of Congress," Ibish said. "Also, she's got staffers who were former interns here at [the anti-discrimination committee], so there's a professional connection here as well."
Aha! Professional Jew haters.
At the same time, McKinney's relationship with members of the Jewish community continues to be strained. Jewish leaders were chagrined in 1996 when her father, Democratic state Rep. Billy McKinney, made anti-Semitic remarks during her re-election campaign for Congress. The congresswoman distanced herself from her father's comments, but the strain remained.
See I inherited my Jew hating from my father. I just can't help it. She distanced herself from the comments, but she did not condemn them. Oh, her opponent that year was Jewish.
Jewish leaders also have been upset that McKinney has refused to distance herself from controversial Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.
Louie and I are good friends and we have a lot in common: We both hate Jews and white folks. What's wrong with that?
Their opinion has not changed, even when McKinney has tried to apologize for or clarify her position.
I'm sorry I hate those hooknosed bastards.
Each time, she'll try to clean herself up but then dig herself deeper," said Deborah Lauter, the Atlanta-based Southeast regional director for the Anti-Defamation League.
I'm really, really sorry I hate those hooknosed bastards.
"Her attacks on President Bush were a final straw," Lauter said. "They were perceived as being so off the wall -- that's really the only way I can express it -- that conjuring up a conspiracy theory, at a time when the president and all Americans are trying to deal with this crisis in a realistic way, just discredited her further."
Now here Lauter makes an assumption that Cynthia ever had any credibility in the first place.
A few weeks later, however, McKinney claimed some vindication when the administration acknowledged that federal agencies had received some hint beforehand that terrorists might attack.
And a few days ago I made the contention that this was akin to knowing that Cynthia was gonna say something stupid. In this case we know when: every time she opens her mouth. How to stop it, short of putting a gag on her, is another thing. How to stop 9/11 would have required 'ethnic profiling' which of course would have made Cynthia and all 'those of Middle Eastern and Muslim descent' pitch a massive hissy fit. Isn't this where we came in?
And Now on to an article about the Zogby brothers.
James Zogby is the most recognized political voice of the Arab-American community, a key player in trying to reshape American policy in the Middle East.
James, 56, is founder and president of the Arab American Institute, a Washington-based organization that not only promotes the political interests of Americans of Arab descent but also works to promote American understanding of Arab interests in the Middle East conflict.
See above.
The organization runs on a $1 million annual budget, about 30 percent of which comes from foreign sources --- individuals, not governments.
Foreign individual Jew haters? Osama bin Laden? The Saudi royal family? Could we see list of your donors please?
James is ''a rabid Jew hater and Israel basher,'' and John displays ''familial bias'' even while attempting to ''operate under the guise of professionalism,'' Ari Rubin, a spokesman for the Jewish Defense League, said this week in response to questions about the Zogbys.
Morton Klein, national president of the Zionist Organization of America, claims
James Zogby ''praises terrorist killers of Americans,'' a reference to a Zogby
statement once describing the violence in the Middle East as the product of
''pent-up Palestinian desperation.''
No the violence in the Middle East is due to the fact that the Palestinians do not want peace with Israel. They want the total destruction of Israel. They have had many opportunities to have their own state. They turned the last offer down in favor of more acts of terrorism hoping for more concessions. The terror was what got Ariel Sharon elected. Now the 'pent-up Palestinian desperation' is that the Israelis may just decide to wage total war and push 'em all into Lebanon. I'm gonna piss a lot of people off here, but I'm gonna put Israeli politics in the context of 50's and 60's southern politics. The Palestinians are the niggers of the Middle East. The rest of the Arab countries hate them almost as much as they hate the Jews. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict gives the Arab street something to hate. Without the hatred of Israel, the corrupt Arab, despotic regimes might be in danger. Arafat overplayed his hand this time, because he unleashed violence that he either cannot or will not stop. Either way, he is no longer relavent. And if Sharon can't stop the violence, the Israelis will turn to Netanyahu. George Wallace almost lost an election in Alabama, because his opponent was more of a segregationist than he was. He said he would never be outniggered again. Netanyahu is outniggering Sharon.
But James' close association with Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and his
spirited defense of the Palestinian leader amid the escalation of suicide
bombings in Israel give Zogby critics new opportunities to denounce his work.
I cannot see why that would happen.
''Do I know [Arafat]? Sure, I do," James said. "Do I disagree with him? Sure, I do.
Do I feel enormous pain when I see him humiliated? Sure, I do.
I don't. Humiliation is too good for that scumbag.
I feel terrible pain for that. No leader of a people should have to endure that.
No, in Arafat's case he should have to endure worse. How about slow roasting over a fire? How about a hot poker shoved up his ass? How about dry shaving that pathetic beard off his face? All of them work for me.
It's a hate crime what's been done to him
No! It's a hate crime what's been done to this little girl. That is a hate crime Jimmy boy. Humiliation is way down the list. Like maybe not being invited to the latest meeting of the Jew Hater's Club.
because it says to his people you are all being treated this
way. He's not a monster by any stretch of the imagination.
Maybe to you he's not a monster by any strectch of the imagination, but by any standard of civiized behavior he is a monster and should be hauled up on charges of crimes against humanity. Mr. Eichman, Mr. Hitler, meet Mr. Arafat. Yasser, meet Adolph and Adolph. So Yasser, I hear you're in the Jew killing business. Howya doin'? Not as good as you guys. They keep fightning back. I hate it when they do that!
He's a willful man. He wants his people free.''
To kill all the Jews they possibly can.
James said the work of his institute, from the beginning, has been ''a
bridge-building exercise,'' helping Arab-Americans to ''function as full participants
in American politics'' while also acting as an ''interlocutor on the Middle East,''
explaining ''what's going on in the Middle East to America'' and ''explaining
America to people in the Middle East.''
What's going on in the Middle East: We're trying to kill as many Jews as we possibly can. We're trying to destroy Israel. Ever since 1948, we've been trying to drive them Jews into the sea. Explaining America to the Middle East: They don't understand that killing Jews is a good thing. What do you expect from infidel dogs?
He travels extensively in the Middle East, often giving speeches under the
sponsorship or approval of the State Department. He writes a weekly newspaper
column, ''Washington Watch,'' which is distributed to publications in 14 Arab
countries. And he hosts a television program ''Viewpoint With James Zogby'' on
Abu Dhabi Television.
Wonder what he talks about on Viewpoint With James Zogby?
"Is it an exhausting effort? Yes,'' James said. ''Do you feel that the bridge is you
and you're being walked on and maybe crumbling under the pressure? Yes.
Sometimes the stretch is a tough one. But as long as it's needed, we continue
to do it. I think the need is greater than ever before. But the opportunities to
speak out and be received are greater than ever before.''
And you thought justifying murder, bigotry and hatred was an easy job.
And now, Desmond Tutu has to weigh in with our daily dose of moral equivalence.
He said Israeli Jews "seem to have forgotten their horrible experience in Nazi
Germany, where their property was confiscated, they were stripped of their
possessions and many forced into concentration camps, where 6 million Jews
were killed.
No Dez, they haven't forgotten that experience and they have vowed it would never happen again. That is what this is all about you santimonious bastard. When the Palestinians kill women and children it is on purpose. When the Israelis do it, it is by accident. If they were as coldblooded as the Palestinians, they would have slaughtered everyone in Jenin. Remember the Jenin Massacre? Hundreds killed? Didn't happen? But, I thought for sure....
Peace is negotiable.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! That Dez. What a card!
Tutu said he condemned the use of suicide bombers and found it "reprehensible"
that young Palestinians were being recruited for these acts and taught to hate
Jews.
What? What's going on here? Dez, you're straying away from the talking points. Don't worry. He's coming back.
But at the same time, "I condemn equally and vehemently the terrorism of an
army that can go into Arab settlements and behave in the fashion that they do ---
Ya know looking for bomb factories. Looking for murderers. Things like that.
when they can stop ambulances and when they can stop medical personnel. I
don't think it speaks well for the Israeli government."
If the Palestinians would just agree to put a Bomber on Board sign on the ambulances that they're using to haul bombs, bombers and weapons, I'm sure the Israelis would let all the other ambulances pass.
Still, he thinks peace is possible between Israelis and Palestinians, if both sides
resume negotiations.
He's a lot more optimistic than I am.
"You don't negotiate with your friends," he said. "You negotiate with your
enemies."
He really nailed that one didn't he.
He said Israel has a right to guaranteed boundaries and Palestinians should have
their own state.
Yep. Boundaries sound good. Everyone agree to boundaries? And let's give the Palestinians a state. How about Lebanon? No one's doing much with that but Syria and Hezbollah.
Gotta admit, lot's of good stuff in today's paper. This is one of those blogs that just wrote itself.
And now on to the rest of the weekend. I'm going to my friends, Michael and Cindy's, for dinner and since Michael is a wine geek, we'll knock off about three bottles of real good wine. Cindy's a good cook, so the meal will be excellent. Tomorrow, is the annual Sommelier Guild of Atlanta banquet. The food and wine at that event is also fantastic.
Have a great weekend!
I was gonna write something amusing about plumbing and how happy my sister will be the next time she visits, but I made the mistake of going to a few blog sites first. Go here to see a picture of one of those cruel oppressive Israelis that a brave Palestinian took out. Every time someone mentions a Palestinian state this picture should be shown. Barbarians do not deserve a state.
Now, go read Lileks on the quality of education our college students are getting. This is the result of political correctness, multiculterism, and moral relativism. I used to always think it was funny that if the communist sympathizers, back in the 50's and 60's got their way, and we went communist, they would lose their freedom of speech. Just like I think socialists like Ted Turner and the Hollywood bunch aren't aware that if we did go socialist, they would lose all their money. Wait a minute!! I didn't mean that type of socialism!! Give me my money back.
Now the 'peace process'. I'm so bloody tired of hearing that phrase over and over again. Hello! George, Colin, anyone home? The Palestinians do not want peace. They have made no secret of that. None. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. I bet Churchill probably got just as tired of hearing 'Peace in our time' back in the 30's. There is no freaking 'peace process'!!!! George and Colin, go to the blackboard and write 'There is no peace process' 1000 times. Now write 'Arafat is a cold blooded killer 1000 times'.
But if the Israelis would only leave the occupied territories the violence would stop. Whine. Whine. Whine. The violence will only stop when one of the following conditions is met:
1. All the Israelis are killed or driven out of the Middle East (Arafat's and the rest of the Arab world's choice)
2. The Palestinians are totally defeated and shown that violence will not get them a state. Not now. Not tomorrow. Never. (apparently no one's choice)
Since only intelligent folks, like those of us in the blogosphere, seem to realize that choice number 2 would actually entail less death and destruction, and the West is consumed with the 'peace process' we may as well kiss Israel goodbye. What the hell, they're only Jews, anyway.
I don't know much about psychology. (I took Psych 101, but that was only 'cause I had to take a social science course and that and Sociology 101 were the two easiest courses to take.) It seems to me, we seem to suffer from transference. That might not be the right term, but I'll describe what I mean. We transfer our own sense of ideals onto our enemies. For example, during the Iran hostage crisis, Jimmy 'the wimp' Carter insisted on treating the Iranians as rational beings and thought diplomacy would work. Only when Reagan was elected, and everyone thought he was a mad cowboy, did the Iranians release the hostages. They were afraid of him.
The same thing has happened to the United States over the last twenty years. We want people to love us. I mean, we're the good guys in white hats. We respect all cultures, even those that believe in stoning, enslaving women, cutting off hands and innocuous stuff like that. Islam is a religion of peace. And if you don't believe that, we'll kill you.
The Arabs (and the Palestinans are Arabs) only understand and respect force. Jesus, read the Koran! (No I was not telling Jesus to read the Koran). Arafat has made no secret of his plans. The only reason he would agree to any type of peace was to buy time to get more weapons into the West Bank and Gaza. His main goal is the destruction of Israel. He has said it over and over. George, Colin, clean the shit out of your ears!
I just read over at MCJ that even little Dickie Gephart gets it. And like Christopher Johnson (Gephardt was my congressman when I lived in St. Louis and here in Dunwoody I have Cynthia McKinney. Life is really so unfair!), I can also count on one hand the amount of times I've agreed with Gephardt over the last twenty years.
I'd like to write something more intelligent and insightful, but why bother when, as usual, Steven Den Beste does it so much better.
What I am going to say is not very polically correct. I'm not politically correct and I'm so sick of that crap anyway. I hate Yasser Arafat. I despise Yasser Arafat. Anyone who could instill so much hatred into a civilization should be hunted down and killed like the dog he is.
I hate the Arabs and Islamists who think killing little children, pregnant women, and old people is glorious. I am an atheist, but at times like these I pray (non sequiter) that there is a God so that animals like these and the Muslim clerics who endorse the killing of innocents will roast in hell.
I have no more words. Look at the little girl again and tell me why we are talking about a 'peace process'. Tell me why Yasser Arafat is still alive.
Acronyms, abbreviations, and other stuff used in this blog:
I'm a techie. I'm a systems programmer and I program on IBM mainframes (uh, I'm sorry. I mean, of course, high end servers). I enjoy reading stuff by Steven Den Beste. He's an engineer and I've enjoyed reading his technical blogs. He wrote sumpin' a while back about OS/2 and how Microsoft won the OS battle. I came in late and never got a chance to get involved in the discussion. Somewhere down the road, I would like to weigh in on how IBM blew a five year head start and how Microsoft's monopoly has led to total mediocrity in the PC OS arena. I'm in tech support and I have to attend an Inquisition Meeting every Wednesday (another subject for a future blog) and the PC guys always have more PR's open. I always smile and say after forty years, mainframes have Reliability, Availability, and Servicability. We IPL and our OS stays up for months at a time. Our customer sat for Host (dat's us dinosaurs) always leads the pack. Nyuck. Nyuck. Nyuck. It really pisses off YWS's to have OF's laugh at them.
In my early years as a young hero sysprog when we needed a new function installed on one of our MVS systems I got the job. New functions are usually available as PTF's. So I would order the PTF and use SMP/E to apply it. The first thing I would do was run an apply check job. SMP/E being the smart program that it was back then it would check to make sure all the prerequisite PTFs were available on the system. If not, it would generate a report and the sysprog (me) would have to go over it and try to figger out what PTF's were missing. The sysprog (me) would have to track down PE chains and prereq chains. This would often involve calls to IBM support for help. Tracking down missing PTF's was a pain in the ass, until my mentor told me to treat it like a game. 'You like working crossword puzzles', he told me, 'treat this like a puzzle'. After that, it never bothered me to put on PTF's anymore. It actually became fun. Now, SMP/E is so easy, anyone can install PTF's. It has reports that tells a sysprog exactly which PTF's are missing. Almost takes some of the fun out of putting on PTFs now.
Anyway, I remembered my mentor's advice to make a game or a puzzle out of disagreeable tasks. And that brings us to CTF. The management of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN has decreed that all employees have to take CTF. After twenty-nine years at TCIDNN, I can recognize a bullshit program when I see one. Some high muckity-muck took some MBA courses at a college and got filled with bullshit by someone who has never (and never could) worked in the private sector and commisioned some bullshit artists to put together this employee competency program called Crawl to Failure. When I first started it, I grumbled (grumble, grumble, grumble) about how this was a total waste of my valuable time. But then, the words of my mentor came back to me, 'Flow with the bullshit. Bend like the reed with the wind. Treat it as a game, Grasshopper.' Which I now do. And TCIDNN pays me the same amount of money to do this as they would do if I were actually doing sumpin' productive. Wait a minute! This is productive education. I got a SHTS code for it.
So yesterday, I covered how I got to go out to a database and I saw the Vision and Mission Statement for MBUOMPOOTCIDNN. These were works of art. I mean they were primo buzzword bingo winners. Ah, if only I could write sumpin' that good, I could get a consulting (remember Dogbert says consult is a combination of con and insult) job writing Visions and Mission Statements, and putting together competency programs for American corporations. The only con job that tops that is Diversity Consultant.
Today, I started on the section of CTF for personal development. It reviewed our development process at TCIDNN. It also talked about how we were evaluated. Since our managers are oh so busy and oh so important, we have to write what they expect us to do. These are called TIETDTY's. At the end of the year, we have to submit our accomplishments. these are our TIADTY's. Then our managers evaluate us. These are WMTAWWD's. I once had a manager who realized how bogus this program was. He wrote our TIETDTY's for us. If it looked like we were gonna miss our targets, he let us change em'. That way we always met our targets. My current manager, on the other hand, is a believer in the process. Bummer!
After yesterday, I figgered our Vision and Mission Statement were slam dunk buzzword bingo winners, but in the Competency Topic in CTF, I came across this gem that pegged both the bullshit and the buzzword meters:
Let's count em'
Assets, skills, and methods: these three components
components (1)
interlock
interlock (2)
to form a unified business architecture
unified business architecture (3)
that has mutual synergy
synergy (4) (all God's chillen gotta have synergy)
among its components,
components (already used once, so doesn't count against total)
which must be delivered in a coordinated fashion.
coordinated fashion (5)
In order to ensure integrated harmony
integrated harmony (6) (I do not even know what that means)
and not duplication, MPOOTCIDNN divided the competencies
competencies (7)
required to deliver the end-to-end
end-to-end (8)
services that our customers demand among the lines of business.
lines of business (9)
Each line was given exclusive domain
exclusive domain (10)
over a particular set of competency segments.
competency segments (11)
As a consequence, MBUOMPOOTCIDNN was given responsibility for the xxxxxxxxx Competency and its associated set of four competency segments,
competency segments (already used)
which are based on the core skills
core skills (12)
of the majority of our professionals:
And then it goes on to list and describe the four competency segments. By this time, I have no more space in my brain for buzzwords. I'm taking Friday off, so I have a full three days to assimilate the current crop and clean up more storage in my brain to harvest the next integrated harmonious competencies of the lines of business and enhance my core skills and form a unified business architecture with mutual synergy to deliver end-to-end services. All this while Valuing Diversity.
So if you happen to be in a building of TCIDNN on Monday and you walk by an office and there's this old cripple guy in there looking at a computer screen and cackling away it will be me.
I'll be Crawling to Failure.
And I'll be laughing my ass off.
And they pay me for this!
Now that I've fixed that problem, I'd like to return to all the fun I've been having doing CTF (Crawl to Failure) at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). TCIDNN is made up of various organizations. Only MPOOTCIDNN (My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name) has to do CTF. I'm sure other organizations have their own competency programs. Some may even be as zany as ours. However, I doubt it.
I'm almost finished with the last part of the third module of CTF. I've seen all the spinning objects, all the interconnected squares and all the fancy wonders of a well crafted multimedia presentation. One of the last things I have to do is go out to the database that it took me a week to access, download, and get authorization to use and find MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (My Business Unit Of My Particular Organization Of The Company I Dare Not Name) in the database. Sure enough there is MBUOMPOOTCIDNN in the list of business units. I double click on the entry which takes me to another entry of the data base.
For there before my wondering eyes are two of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my entire life: The VISION of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN and the MISSION STATEMENT of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN.
And they pay people good money to write these things. Yet another reason we are pricier than our competition.
For the two or three of you who have been following my exploits for the last two months (my sister, my office mate, and my friend Richard) you know some of the programs that TCIDNN has presented to us to make us better worker bees. Mostly, they have been programs that amused us. Sometimes they annoyed us. But, they have always been a total waste of time (and money). For the rest of you who came in late and would like to catch up go read The LFQP
Yet another reason that we are pricier than out competition.
One of the things we learned during the LFQP was that every organization has to have a VISION and a MISSION STATEMENT.
Let me interject a little background on the last seventeen years of my career. I have been in the same building for the last seventeen years. I have had two different jobs in that time frame. Counting promotions, my job title has changed seven times. Due to reorganizations (one of the core businesses of TCIDNN..When in doubt, reorganize) MBUOMPOOTCIDNN has changed its name six times. I quit getting business cards made 'cause the stuff on them would change every other year. Here's a three by five card with my name and number. Put it in your address book.
So, every time MBUOMPOOTCIDNN changes its name, it needs to have a new VISION and a new MISSION STATEMENT. (They pay people to make these things up. Another reason we are pricier than out competition) Three name changes ago we had framed posters of our VISION scattered throughout the building. (Which of course we had to pay someone to make. Yet another reason we are pricier than our competition) I always got a kick out of them because you could only read them if you were less that three feet away. I never failed to call attention to my fellow workers that we obviously had a very short range VISION.
I tried to satirize corporate buzzword speak a few blogs ago with the following phrase 'use synergy to work smarter not harder and make sure you think outside the box and be ready to make a paradigm shift.' I was pretty proud of myself. Oh man, have I ever met my match. Here is the VISION of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN (with a few identifying words left out to protect umm..someone I guess. To some people, like, uh, managers, this probably makes perfect sense):
We are harvesting and producing Intellectual Capital assets that are
used by our xxxxxxxxxxxxx practitioners to sell and close xxxxxxxx
engagements, and help them design and deliver the best of breed work
that satisfies our clients and creates long term profitable business
relationships for TCIDNN.
Man, this is a slam dunk for buzzword bingo. Let's count 'em:
Now you tell me. Is this not a work of art? Who could ever top this? I'll tell ya who. The person (or committee) who wrote the MISSION STATEMENT. So without further ado, (trumpet fanfare please) here is the MISSION STATEMENT of MBUOMPOOTCIDNN:
We exist as a global network to harvest and create, value, structure,
publish, disseminate the best of breed intellectual capital assets related
to the xxxxxxxx business to foster strong communities and provide an
infrastructure and management process that address the needs of the
communities to create, share and reuse Intellectual Capital for the
xxxxxxxxxxx TCIDNN Organizations.
Let's face it, with a Mission Statement like that wouldn't you expect to pay us more money than our competition?
I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! I am blinded by the brilliance and craftmanship! Buzzword count:
Totals:
The Winnah!!!! By a knockout!!! MISSION STATEMENT by four buzzwords.
Now I was really curious to see if there were any other business units of MPOOTCIDNN (you really need to write these abbreviations down. There will be a test later) had a VISION or a MISSION STATEMENT that could match MBUOMPOOTCIDNN's. So I started clicking on other business units of MPOOTCIDNN. I was horrified! I was shocked!! Shocked, I say!!! Some of the business units of MPOOTCIDNN didn't....even....have....a (are you ready for this?) VISION or a MISSION STATEMENT!!! How do they ever expect to win in the market place?
So all you people who work for other business units of MPOOTCIDNN here is an open challenge, any time, anyplace: Buzzword Bingo. MBUOMPOOTCIDNN's VISION and MISSION STATEMENT against yours.
I'll kick your ass!
Bingo!!!!
Those bastards! I really wanted to do a nice flippant blog about how, in Jesse Jackson's words, 'I Am Somebody!', because googling gocinatlanta actually yields results. Or, some more funny (at least to my sister) stuff about TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). But, alas, I cannot. Also, I'm totally incapable of even a decent rant. All I feel is a total sense of nihilism. Or sadness. Or emptiness. Or whatever. I just can't seem to put my thoughts into words. That doesn't mean I won't try.
Since I am a systems programmer, I think logically. At least I'm supposed to. Example, if a program suddenly stops running correctly, something has changed. Software, except for Microsoft code, does not break unless something has broken it, like a programming change or a hardware malfunction. Cause and effect. Because Hitler was appeased and not stopped earlier we had to fight World War II. Because George I did not finish the job with Saddam Hussein, George II will have to take him out. Because Bill Clinton preferred biting his lip and 'feeling our pain' and not making the hard choices to respond to earlier attacks, it emboldened the terrorists and we got 9/11. And because Yassir Arafat is still alive we had another genocide bombing in Jerusalem today. And I blame this bombing on George II and Colin Powell.
To cure cancer it must be totally eradicated, by removal, by radiation or by chemotherapy. It must be totally destroyed. Wild savage animals are not allowed around cities unless they are caged. Mad dogs must be destroyed. So why are we even talking about a Palestinian state? Why are we even talking about an interim Palestinian state? Yassir Arafat and his thugocracy have absolutely no reason to exist in human civilization. Any people who base their entire society on hatred and genocide have absolutely no reason to exist. Any person who would think that giving these people a state would stop their hatred and genocidal terrorism is totally beyond all rational thought. Not only are they no longer in Kanses, they are way past Oz. It's time to stop it!
I started this blog at work. I got home and looked at the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. The headlines above the fold read: No Soliciting Law Overturned (Jehovah's Witnesses can go door to door...whooptie freakin' do), Dorsey's Attorneys Blame New Triggerman (a murder in Atlanta...ho hum). Below the fold: Bush Boosts Homeownership (the President was in town promoting minority home ownership...photo op..sound bites) ASO Selects Superstar Architect (we're getting a new symphony hall). On page 12 we see Fatal blast rips bus in Jerusalem (Hey honey, some more Jews got killed. Whatever are we going to do about the Middle East? Pass the potatoes please).
Excuse me, but didn't we declare a war on terrorism? I mean, these brave Palestinian freedom fighters are really having a rough time with these ferocious women, children, and old folks that are oppressing the Palestinians. We should be honoring these brave bombers. And didn't Ted Turner call Israel a terrorist state? I just had a long discussion with my friend Cindy and she said I was as bad as the Palestinians with my hatred of them. I replied that for many years I was for a Palestinian state but no more. Over the last fifty years the Palestinians had many opportunities for a state. Israel has always been ready to trade land for peace, but the Palestinians want land but no peace. It's true that the Palestinians have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. As part of the Oslo process the PLO was supposed to amend the part of their charter calling for the desrtuction of Israel. Never happened.
We are at a defining moment in history. We either show the world we mean what we say when we say 'No more terrorism', or we show the world we are just shoveling bullshit like a manager at TCIDNN. I'd really like to have the Israelis take out Arafat (but that would be a disaster...that would be anarchy among the Palestinians..as opposed to what we have now?), but that would be too good for that bug-eyed drooling pitiful excuse for a human. Here's a cliche for ya: Look up a worthless piece of shit in the dictionary and there would be a picture of Arafat. What that man has done to the Palestinians is worse than what Hitler did to the Germans in World War II. Come to think of it, he, Hitler, and Eichmann would have gotten along just fine. And you Eurotrash and the UN, you should be ashamed of yourselves. This problem in the Middle East could have been solved twenty years ago. Why has Arafat been allowed to live this long. Every time I see that worthless piece of shit I want to puke!
Just imagine a civilization where a parent is proud of a son or daughter who goes off to bomb a busload of children. Imagine a civilization that had bred so much hatred that a three year old child would say on a talk show how much she hated Jews and how she would like to kill as many of them as possible when she grew up. Imagine a father in a demonstration in Germany who was carrying a child on his shoulder with a fake explosive belt on her. Imagine a world that was not outraged by any of this. That is the world today. What has Israel done to foster this much hatred? I just don't know. All I know is there is a generation of Palestinians who hate Israel so much that it will do anything to kill as many Jews as possible. And there is a world that hates Jews and Israel so much that is sees nothing wrong with that. And there is a country that has declared a 'War on Terrorism', and is in the process of rewarding terrorism, and the godfather of terrorism, by acceding to all his demands and creating a Palestinian state dedicated to the destruction of Israel.
Please. Please. Please. Let's end the War on Drugs!
I need some bodacious drugs to cope with what's going on.
When we left our fearless hero (dat's me) last week, he was anxiously awaiting for his database password to propagate to all the servers out in TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) Server Land. That was so I could get back to CTF (Crawl to Failure). For those of you who came in late, I covered CTF here. For those who don't want to follow that link back, let's do a quick review of how corporate America works.
When companies get in trouble, there are three actions they usually take:
1. Lay off employees. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of layoffs! (With apologies to Shakespeare) Anyway here at TCIDNN we call layoffs skill rebalancing. As in we're skill rebalancing you right out the door. Here's your cardboard box. See ya.
2. Reengineer processes. Not to be confused with skill rebalancing, tho' sometimes reengineering processes does lead to skill rebalancing. Most of the time, tho', it leads to a FQP (Quality Program). And, of course management always swears that this is not AFQP (Another Quality Program). We were only kidding with the all the other FQP's. This time we really mean it. Honest.
2. An employee competency program. After all it's always the employees' fault. We managers are doing everything right. It's those pesky employees. I know, let's waste some money and reeducate them. And from that, we get CTF.
Anyway, on Friday, I'm chomping at the bit to get started on module three of CTF. It's taken me a week to get the authorization, download a local copy of the database, and get a password to access the database out on the server. So I go on out to the server and after I access it the first thing I read is 'You don't need a special password to access the database. Your company intranet password will work.' Huh? Hey, thanks for sharing that valuable info with me three days ago! I could use some choice words about now, but my office mate said if I don't clean up my language he was gonna quit reading my blogs. He mainly gets pissed off when I say f***, so I'll do my best not to say f*** too often. So, I was glowering at my terminal and I was patiently saying 'This shit really pisses me the f*** off!'
I calm down and access the database. As part of the instructions I received when I was given authorization to the database, I click on Education. Then I start clicking on things that expand to other things to click on until I get to click on something that intiates a popup window to view, launch, or detach. I dutifully click on launch and sit back and am immediately stunned.
A multimedia presentation starts up. Someone is saying something and on the screen are circles with spokes emanating from them. On the spokes are other circles. And they're spinning. I am really impressed! Then the spinning circle-spoke-circle spinning things are replaced by a bunch of squares and there are lines connecting the squares but they are in no discernable pattern. I get it. The spinning things represent our management spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do next. And the squares with the interconnecting lines represent our organizational chart. Right? Did I guess right? No! I've missed the point entirely. It means something else. Right! It means something that has absolutely nothing to do with my job.
But I do have to admit, it was well done. I turned to my officemate and said, 'Officemate, why didn't you tell me how peachy, neat, keen, and super (mustn't forget super) module three was?'
Ya see, he has already completed CTF. As I watched the presentations, that were really well done (peachy, neat, keen and super) all I could think of was that someone had put in a lot of time and effort to put this presentation together. And, it wasn't just one presentation. No, after every presentation (which had a pause and a replay button displayed on the bottom so you could pause and gaze off into space in awe and wonder and return and restart where you left off or replay the presentation so you could get the most out of it), by golly there was another one to watch. Why, you could keep this up for hours (I've got about three hours invested already and I'm still not done) and be amazed.
What amazed me the most was how much this stuff must have cost to put together. How much additional money has TCIDNN thrown down the rathole of another management fad.
Ya know, I think professors at MBA programs at colleges sit around smoking dope and try to think up the most outlandish, stupid things they can teach to young heros in their MBA programs. Yeah use synergy to work smarter not harder and make sure you think outside the box and be ready to make a paradigm shift. If all else fails, pull your head out of your ass.
But wait. It gets better. It's now Friday at 10:30 AM and I have to do my SHTS (Stupid Hourly Tracking System) entries for the week. We have to have ours done by noon. It really needs to be in by 8:00 PM on Friday. I can just see our general manager waiting in breathless anticipation every Friday night for the SHTS reports. Of course this doen't happen you silly goose. He actually looks at them at 10:00 PM. We have to have ours in by noon, so our manager can make sure everything is correct from his people. That way he looks good to his boss.
I fire up my SHTS system and start entering stuff. Now, CTF is productive education. Yes, they do have a code for nonproductive education and no, I don't know why we would have to have education that was nonproductive. Maybe that's diversity training.
I look up the code for CTF. Let's just say it is CTFSUXO1. And the activity for productive education is DUHO01. I enter this into SHTS and it comes back and tells me it's invalid. How could this be? I try again. Still invalid. Nothing else to do but shoot off a note to the SA (SHTS Administator) and the PMICOS (Project Manager In Charge Of SHTS). I get a message telling me the PMICOS is on vacation. My last hope is the SA.
Let's pause now for an amusing story told to me by the SA. It seems she was surplussed (that's what we called skill rebalancing back then) last October. Three weeks later, I am not making this up, one of the third line managers asked why he wasn't getting any SHTS reports. Upon further investigation, it was revealed that the SHTS reports came from the SA who had been surplussed. How did this happen? 'I dunnoh boss. She was the SA? No one told me. Had I known she actually did sumpin' I wouldn't have surplussed her. Pretty funny, huh? What do we do now?' They brought her back as a contractor.
Here at TCIDNN we have a system similar to AOL Instant Messenger called FARTS (Fast Available Real Time System). If someone is online, you can just FART at them. So the SA, who sees I'm online FARTs me a message: 'What's wrong?' I FART back: 'I'm having trouble with SHTS. It won't take the CTF code.' She FARTs back: Did you enter CTFSUXO1 where the O is the character O as opposed to the numeral?' 'Yep' I FARTed back. 'Hmmmm' , she FARTs.'Let me check it out.'
Since she is the SA, she can do magical stuff with SHTS. Five minutes later she FARTs at me: 'I've entered the appropriate codes on your panel. See if SHTS will let you save it.' I try. It works! I FART back to her: 'Thanks SA. You sure do know your SHTS.' We FART back and forth for the next few minutes exchanging pleasantries. She used to work near my offfice and it was always fun because she and another one of the administrative people (who also got surplussed) would spend most of the day laughing. Ah...the good old days. It is nice to know that she is only a FART away.
After that, the rest of the day was anticlimactic.
I did some more of CTF. I'm still on module three. I'm still amazed. The circle-spoke-circle things are still spinning. The squares still look like our organizational chart.
And this still has absolutely nothing to do with my job.
Once, many years ago, before the scales fell from my eyes (I can see! I can see!), I wanted to be a manager. One reason was the job I held at that time with TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), really sucked. So, if I could be a manager, I could tell people what to do and be in a job that sucked less.
Upon further investigation, I realized that being a first line manager really sucked. Not only do you have to take bullshit from customers who suck, you have to take bullshit from your boss who sucks and you have to take bullshit from the people you manage who suck. I mean, if I became a manager, I'd have to manage people like myself.
Now there's something that would really suck! After twenty-nine years the grouchy old cripple really knows how to give bullshit to management. You also have to lie with a straight face. And, every day after work, you need to have someone pull your head out of your ass. Now what kind of a job would that be? So the manager life, which sucks, was not for me.
I need to interject here that the person who shares my office is worried that if TCIDNN management ever reads anything I write about TCIDNN, I'll get my ass fired. Maybe I should change the name to TCTWFMITERMB (The Company That Would Fire Me If They Ever Read My Blogs). Nah. I'm not worried. I told him he is making two erroneous assumptions:
So I don't have any worries on that matter. Anyway, where I work used to be a training ground for first line managers. When I moved here seventeen years ago, there was an assumption made by the manager who hired me that I eventually wanted to be a manager. During my interview, I danced around the subject. 'Yes, I have aspirations to management', I said, ' but I have some things I'm not comfortable with (like being a phoney sonuvabitch), but I'm sure you'll teach me that (like abandoning all my principles).
Eighteen months after taking the job, my manager wanted to start sending me on management interviews. 'Wait a minute', I said, 'I'm supposed to be here two years.' 'We can waive that', he said. 'No we can't', I said, 'I don't want to be a manager!' At that very instant, I went to the top of his shit list.
I remember some of my coworkers who were promoted to managers. They would call or write back and we would ask them how they liked being a manager. The response was always, and, I am not making this up, 'I love my job. I got a great bunch of people working for me.' So, if any of them ever came back to Atlanta, the first thing we looked for was the little string hanging out from their heads. You know, the one on talking dolls that you pull to get them to talk. We always wondered if that was implanted during management school.
The policy at TCIDNN used to be that if someone got promoted to management, he/she would move to a different office. This was a really good idea. The stated reason was so the manager wouldn't have to manage people he/she used to work with. 'Wait a minute, dickhead, you didn't act that way before you were a manager. I'm just doing what you used to do!' But the real reason was so no one would ever realize what was done to managers when they went to TCIDNN Manager School. When the young hero manager returned from TCIDNN Manager School he was a completely different person. I recently deprogrammed a manager whose brainwashing wasn't totally effective and he gave me the rundown on TCIDNN Management School.
The first day is the worst day. The new manager walks up the steps to the entrance of the school. Over the portal is a sign that says Abandon All Scruples Ye Who Enter Here. As soon as he enters, he is immediately knocked out and taken to surgery. There, his spine is removed for obvious reasons. Next, holes are drilled in each cheek. This enables him to simutaneously talk out of both sides of his mouth. Also, for insurance, his tongue is forked. 'Manager speak with forked tongue, Kemo Sabe.' 'You bet your ass, Tonto.'
After recovering from surgery, they have to report to their first class, Buzzwords 101. Here is where they learn to spout bullshit buzzwords for every occasion. "Before every meeting, there must be prereads, and a process put in place to develop an agenda to create synergy, enabling us to focus on our core objectives.'
Huh? What the fuck did he say? I can just imagine the Buzzword Bullshit Facilitator handing out lavish praise for that last statement. 'Now remember EPS's (Empty Polo Shirts...first line managers don't have to wear suits. When a manager makes it to a third line manager, he is promoted to ES..Empty Suit), the sentence should be as long as possible and have as many buzzwords as possible. You must ensure that you never say anything that will allow any of the people who work for you to ever get a straight answer out of you. That way, you can never be held accountable for anything.'
The next class is Pass the Blame 101. Since second and third line managers go to Advanced Pass the Blame (Pass the Blame 201), the first line manager has to be really good to pass the blame upward. Anyway, since shit rolls down hill, it's easier to pass the blame on to one of the actual workers. Some of the techniques: lying (the most effective): turning employees against each other (for this one you need a real suckup who has aspirations to management. The bonus is, you have a chance to turn someone to the dark side); and passing the blame on to another manager (a fantastic ploy as it might lead to a promotion.).
The next class is Suck Up 101. As the name implies, it teaches young managers how to effectively suck up to their superiors. The first rule of sucking up to a superior manager is to remember that managers promote people most like themselves, so the young manager has to observe his manager very carefully and match as many mannerisms as possible. He also has to be very careful that if his boss comes to a sudden stop his head doesn't go so far up his manager's ass that it causes discomfort to both of them. This could be hazardous to one's career.
The very last class is Effective Lying. Here the manager is taught the most effective lying techniques. For example, try to lie to as few people as possible. That way the manager can say, 'I never said that!' or 'It's your word against mine.' The big lie: 'There will be no more layoffs this year.' 'I really care about seeing you advance in your career.' The bold faced lie: 'We really care for you here at TCIDNN. Think of us as family.'
The manager practices these phrases and many others until he/she has the appropriate level of fake sincerity and can keep a straight face with even the most absurd lies.
My deprogrammed manager even remembered some questions that were on the final exam from TCIDNN Management School.
Assuming the young manager passes the exam and all the brainwashing is successful he/she returns to his/her office and is ready to start managing. And he/she must remember the most important principle of management as stated by Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles:
We gotta protect our phony, baloney jobs, gentlemen!
After yesterday's rant I've decided to lighten up a little and write of some of the zany goings on at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name).
Every other Tuesday, at 4:00 in the afternoon my department has a conference call. The purpose of this call is for everyone in the department to learn what everyone in the department is doing. Also, it gives EPS (our manager, an Empty Polo Shirt) a chance to talk to everyone in the department at the same time. Now, I'm in I/T support and our department supports everything from z/OS (that's me...I'm one of them thar dinosaurs who works with them thar mainframes, 'cept'n now we call 'em big ol' servers), to AS400, to AIX, all the way down to PC's. Now, I don't give a rat's ass about what the other folks are doin' and I don't think they give a rat's ass about what I'm doin'. I mean, I've been in computers since Christ was a corporal and half the time, these young whippersnappers (YW) don't understand a thing I say. So the call, run by one of our project managers (PM) usually goes like this:
This goes on for about five minutes until everybody has joined. YW's are always notoriously late for meetings. Then after everyone has joined, we start off with status reports:
We used to have this call every Tuesday, but since no one ever had much to say, and it was a waste of ten minutes, we now have the call every other Tuesday, and waste fifteen minutes. This is a more productive use of wasted time.
In this past Tuesday's meeting, after we had told each other that nothing was new (sounds like we don't do too much in I/T support doesn't it? There's a reason and it's coming up soon), it's now time for EPS to deliver his address. This is where I usually make sure the phone is on mute so no one hears me laughing.
The first thing EPS talks about is CTF (Crawl to Failure). This a competency program dumped on us by upper management. For more info on CTF, I covered it in my May 22 blog. Everyone in my organization has to take CTF. Unfortunately, my department didn't get the word, and they finally told us we had to do it. This was the end of April. We originally had to finish it by the end of June. I always drag my feet on things like this. Half the time they just go away. And this time, I thought I might be one of the people skill rebalanced out the door. No sense wasting time on sumpin' if'n I gonna be laid off. Made the cut. So now I get to do CTF.
I made it through the first two modules in no time flat. Now, I got to module three last Wednesday. I had to download a database to my PC. But first, I had to get access. That meant filling out an electronic registration form. I did and sent it off into TCIDNN Network Land. I immediately got a reply saying my application was accepted, but, I could not access the database until my request was approved, which would take 24 to 48 hours. It took 48 hours. Quelle Surprise! So, it's Friday afternoon, and, since I usually don't do much Friday afternoon, I decided to do the download on Monday. Monday I was sick. When I came in Tuesday there was a lot I had to do, like open my email and read all the jokes and look at all the pretty and funny pictures sent to me from friends, fellow employees, and my sister. Oh yeah, I also had to look at work related email. And I had to do some system related stuff. And I had to go to two meetings one of which was the Waste Fifteen Minutes Every Other Tuesday Meeting (WFMEOTM). So Tuesday was shot.
So today fer sure, I'm gonna download that pesky data base. I look at the approval email and it gives me instructions on how to access the data base and put a local copy on my PC. First, I have to download an exec from the closest server. This is really neat. There is an electronic button in the note. Click on it and stand by for action. After standing by for ten minutes, I ask my office mate who has already completed CTF, how long I have to stand by. His answer: 'A long time'. So, it's off to do other stuff.
About twenty minutes later, I look and the download is finished. Now, I get to go to the directory that the exec is in and run it. After the exec runs, I get to create an icon for the database on my desktop. All right that's easy, now what? To transfer stuff from the database on my PC to the database on my server I need a password. So, I click on the electronic button to request a password and up pops a window that says my password is approved, but, I'll have to wait 48 to 72 hours to access the database on the server. That wipes out any CTF I'll be doing the rest of the week.
OK back to the WFMEOTM. Did I mention that there are three separate tunnels one can use when crawling to failure? Woe be on to him who takes the tunnel for the wrong profession for he has to crawl out of that tunnel and start anew on the proper tunnel. I asked the PM in charge of CTF, to make sure I crawled through the proper tunnel. That was one of the things EPS brought up. He also said, that obviously, many of us would not make the end of June deadline. Did I mention that managers also have to take CTF? I wonder if EPS is on the verge of missing the June deadline? And CTF is one of the reasons that all of us had nothing to report in the WFMEOTM. Fortunately, CTF is counted as productive education in out Stupid Hourly Tracking System (SHTS). For more info on SHTS, see my May 1 blog.
Now, EPS wants to talk about SHTS. Over the years I have learned that management wants two things from work tracking systems: accuracy and productivity. Often these goals are mutually exclusive. There are often times that you are doing non productive work and have to dump that time in a miscellaneous code. Let's call that code 58. When that happens, your manager will come to you and say you are writing too much 58 time. So let's pretend there is another slightly different miscellaneous code that we'll call 48. You dump your time there. Now your manager will tell you that you are coding too much 48 time. It's about this time that you ask your manager, 'Dammit, what do you want me to code?' He replies, 'I want you to code accurately'. 'Make up your mind!' I have actually had this very conversation with a TCIDNN manager.
Back to EPS at the WFMEOTM. He tells us that the people we support want our data to be more granular. They want to see which part of their segment is using the most I/T support. Since this is all internal funny money it shouldn't be that important, but since they only have so much funny money in their budgets, they need to know where it's going.
I am an MVS sysprog and when I build a system it is for everyone's use. I and another sysprog asked EPS back when we first started doing SHTS, how were we supposed to determine our granularity? As a typical manager he spouted off some manager speak, like we have to engineer our processes or maybe it was process our engineers. We could never get him to answer the question and that's when I came up with the analogy that trying to get a straight answer out of EPS was like trying to nail jello to a wall. So, since we didn't have a clue and no manager direction, my team just guesses. Unfortunately, the segments don't like our guesses. I guess (still guessing), we are not giving them the numbers they want. Hey guys, tell us what you want us to code and we'll code it. We want you to be accurate. Make up your minds.
So the upshot of all this is EPS is gonna assign a project manager to work with us to try to get our time more specific. Maybe write an algorythm that we can crunch against the data. This has got to be job security for someone.
So the meeting ended. I quit laughing. Maybe Friday I can access the database I need for the third module of CTF.
In the meantime, I hope we can get our SHTS together for the segments.
And we can engineer our processes.
Or process our engineers.
I've always been amused by inconsistencies. Examples abound:
And barbarism leads to dehumanization which is the subject of today's blog.
As I was driving home from work today, I had the radio tuned to National Proletariat Radio (But I only listen to it for the music! Honest! And I only get Playboy for the articles), and, on Fresh Air (or as Terry Gross says Fresh shAir!), and Terry was interviewing a Palestinian writer in the 'Occupied Territories' and he was talking about the 'dehumanization' of the Palestinians. This was one of the many times I just wanted to scream at the radio, but instead, I tuned to something else. How about Ozzy singing No More Tears? That would be appropriate.
Look, I'm getting tired of these whining Palestinians. They could have had their fucking state fifty fucking years ago. (My friend Gwen, says she likes my writing, and I should use less profanity but, even Lileks goes overboard sometimes. I don't intend to do it, and my father told me that cursing was the crutch of the conversational cripple, but when I get going, I cannot stop). The bastards turned down the partition of Palestine in 1948 and ever since then, they have been trying to drive the Israelis into the sea. Even today, according to a poll on Drudge, 51% of the Palestinians are for the total destruction of Israel. These are people who take their most cherished possessions, their children, strap bombs on them and send them to explode next to women and children. And they should have a state? What do you want to call it? The Blow Up A Child A Day Nation of the Middle East? But these are acts of desperation! Bull! Shit! Acts of desperation for the Palestinians would be acknowledging that Israel is here to stay, dealing with that, and negotiating in good faith. Instead, let's turn our precious children into homicide bombers. As Golda Meir said 'There will never be peace until the Palestinians love their children more than they hate the Jews'. How very true.
I have nothing but contempt for the Arabs and the Palestinians. If the Arabs weren't sitting on all that oil do you think Yassir Arafat would still be alive? He's the godfather of terrorists. He invented airline hihacking. He invented homicide bombing. Let's see. The Greeks gave us democracy. The Romans gave us laws. The Palestinians gave us homicide bombers. That sure is a nice thing to be known for. And how about that bug eyed bastard saying the Israelis tried to kill him. Listen bucko, if the Israelis wanted you dead, you'd be looking for your seventy-two virgins right now. Only where you're going I don't think you're gonna find any virgins.
And where does it say that the winners in a war have to give conquered territory back? You bastards declared war on Israel in 1967 and lost! You're lucky Israel didn't annex the West Bank and Gaza and kick your sorry asses out. In retrospect they're probably sorry they didn't. I know if the Israelis had lost, the Jews would have been expelled and there still would not have been a Palestinian state as the land would have been divided up between Jordan, Egypt and Syria and you'd still be whining and be worse off. You think other Arabs would put up with your shit?
Israel is willing to give land for peace, but the Palestinians want all the land or there will be no peace. And they have the nerve to talk about dehumanization? They bitch about the fact that people die because Israel won't let the ambulances past checkpoints. Hey, Abdullah, you are the bastards that are using the ambulances to transport bombs. Cry me a fucking river. A pregnant woman was stopped at a checkpoint. That's because you dickheads are dressing up female bombers (no need for affirmative action here. Homicide Bombers Inc is an equal opportunity employer) as pregnant women. My heart is pumping purple panther piss and peanut butter. I saw a black humor cartoon a few weeks back that had two Palestinian women wearing heavy robes and one turns to the other and says 'Does this bomb make me look fat?'
It looks like our latest policy is just to ignore Arafat. He has two goals in life: the destruction of Israel and a Palestinian state with him as the leader. It's looking less and less like either of those things are gonna happen. Wouldn't that be great! All his life's work to no avail. And with our new friends the Russians (Hey Putin, ya wanna take out those towel head bastards in Chechnya? Go ahead. Need any help?), selling us oil, it looks like we may be able to tell the Saudis to kiss our ass. Prince Abdullah, we don't need any bullshit lectures from you. Kiss my ass!
And isn't it funny how the Israelis seem to care more for Palestinian civilians than the Palestinians do? Those big brave Pali's just love to hide behind women and children. When the Israelis went into Jenin, they took more casualties than they had to simply because they were trying to not kill civilians. That is the difference between civilized people and barbarians. Or the difference between humans and animals.
Maybe one day the Palestinians will decide to join the human race. Maybe one day they will find leadership that rejects violence and really wants peace. On that day, I'm sure Israel, if it hasn't been dehumanized by the constant pointless and tragic deaths of the Palestinan homicide bombers, will welcome them and the two nations will truly be partners in peace.
Unfortunately, I fear I will not see that in my lifetime. Hatred is a disease only time can cure. And the Palestinians have a real bad case of hatred.
So for now, all I have to say to the Palestinians is 'Dehumanize this!'
It was a nice weekend here at GOC Central here in Beautiful Dunwoody Georgia. The weather was nice on Saturday, but Saturday is usually a kick back day for me. I finished my Friday Blog and published it. I did my regular weekly grocery shopping. And, I found a bottle of limoncello.
I am a creature of habit. I have found that often habit is a result of doing things over and over again because they either bring pleasure or they work. (Yes, I realize this is a Skinnerian response. Here I am demonstrating that I actually did pay attention when I took Psych 101 in college. Also, I often link to USS Clueless and he says he follows links back, so maybe if he reads me talking about Skinnerian responses, he'll realize I read a blog that he wrote about and actually do me the great honor of sometimes linking to me. Wishful thinking I know, but a blogger can dream can't he?) So, almost every Saturday for dinner, I grill a filet mignon, bake (or in the summer nuke) a potato, and toss a salad. Before dinner, I usually have a Stoly on the rocks with two olives. If my friend Wahoo (and yes his last name is McDaniel and no he is not the wrestler) and his significant other Jeanella come over I have to put two additional olives in my drink as he loves vodka soaked olives. Or, if Michael and Cindy come over, I eschew the Stoly and open either a bottle of Champagne or a bottle of white wine. Also, if champagne, we usually have some pistachios or salmon. Michael usually brings a bottle of red and I open a bottle of red, so the three of us knock back three bottles of wine. Caution, do not try this at home. We are highly trained professionals.
What I drink after dinner depends on the season. If it is after Cindy's birthday (the end of September) and before Easter, the after dinner drink is Delamain cognac. I used to drink the XO, but have upgraded to the Vesper. Here I use Michael's rule. My friend Cindy, his wife is a rehab nurse. When I have complications due to my condition (I'm a cripple ya know), she takes care of me. For example, I had a real bad skin sore on the instep of my right foot that I got when I was in California. Not trusting the HMO out there, I nursed it along until I got home, which turned out to be a real good choice. In the interim, it got infected and cellulitus was creeping up my leg. It required IV antibiotics and Cindy came by every day to hang them. To show my gratitude, I bought her and Michael a bottle of Delamain XO ($65) and the top of the line Delamain ($240). I also said I wanted a glass of the good stuff and wanted to do a blind tasting. The $240 Delamain was good and I could tell it from the $65 bottle. Here is an example of Michael's rule: the $240 bottle of Delamain was great, but it was not four times better than the $65 bottle. Now the Vesper, on the other hand, which sells for $90 is worth $25 more than the XO. Therefore, I have upgraded.
After Easter, I usually drink grappa after dinner. Wahoo and Jeanella, drink beer after dinner all year round. Michael and Cindy drink cognac (do they ever drink cognac!). I must point out that I used to drink Courvoisier but they turned me on to Delamain. That is why Cindy's birthday becomes the start of cognac season. I always have them to dinner for her birthday, and in addition to the three bottles of wine, we kill a half bottle of cognac. Fortunately, they only live about ten minutes away. In the summer, Michael joins me in drinking grappa and Cindy drinks water.
Recently, I stumbled across a show on the Food Channel called Mario Eats Italy. Mario is Mario Batali, a chubby blond guy with a ponytail and a beard. In this show, he travels to various parts of Italy with a cooking student named Steve Rooney. He explains how different regional products of Italy are made. On the show he has toured a sausage factory, a parmigiano reggiano factory, a balsamic vinegar factory and other interesting places. He then cooks a meal using the regional products. When he was on the Amalfi coast, he introduced me to limoncello.
Ahhhh! Let me say a few words about the Amalfi coast. It is the western Italian coast along the Bay of Salerno. It runs from Salerno to Sorrento with the city of Amalfi midway between the two cities. It is a rocky coast like the coast of California north of San Francisco. The road along the coast is like Highway 1 in California, only worse. This is another reason why I got a kick out of the letter to the AJC written by Neville Anderson that I skewered in my June 7 blog. Italian drivers are maniacs. Carlo, theresa nuttina comin the othera way arounda thata curve. Go aheadn pass. Sure ting Luigi. Holy shit! Theresa bus! (ecco l'autobus!) But somehow, they all survive. Michael went to Italy a few years back with an Italian friend. His friend was driving down a mountainside and was spending most of the time looking at Michael and talking. By the end of the trip Michael was in the backseat curled up in the fetal position and whimpering. Ahhhh! Italian drivers. Lines on the roads are suggestions. Playing chicken is an everyday occurence. I love Italy. I Iove the Italians. I think way back in my family tree there must be at least one Italian. But please, don't ask me to drive there. I'm just not that brave.
Now where was I? Yes, the Amalfi coast. They Italians have cut their cities out of the hillsides and they have terraced the hills and on the terraces they grow lemons. According to Mario, the area is known for its excellent lemons and for limoncello. Grappa is Italian white lightning. They take everything left over from the wine pressing and distill it into grappa. Waste not, want not. It will knock your socks off. It is an acquired taste. Limoncello is alcohol infused with lemons. It's not as potent as grappa and I find it is a real nice summer after dinner drink.
I had run out of limoncello and although I knew exactly where I could get some, I wanted to find a closer spot, which I did. So I bought it. Now all was complete. I had my Saturday dinner and had some limoncello after the meal, while sitting outside on the Great Patio of Dunwoody.
Sunday morning, as I was reading the Sunday Atlanta Urinal and Constipation, I came across this letter (sixth one down) from James E. "Billy' McKinney. Betcha wondered when Billy was gonna check in. Billy as you may have guessed has the same name as our beloved Cynthia McKinney the national laughingstock from Atlanta Georgia. Billy is Cynthia's father. I have to admit the letters editor of the AJC must have a sense of humor to publish this howler.
I am most appreciative to those who have now begun to recognize my daughter, Cynthia McKinney, for her honesty, steadfastness and patriotism.
Translation: You folks who think that are even dumber than Cynthia and I thought. I guess there really is a sucker born every minute.
I'm not sure I know where Cynthia found her courage.
Translation: It sure as shit wasn't from me!
Perhaps it was watching me and my colleagues during the civil rights movement.
I doubt it.
Maybe it comes from her constituents, who appreciate the way she fights for individual people against the powers that be.
Gotta keep those welfare checks and food stamps coming. Gotta keep her constituents in poverty and dependent upon government programs so she can be reelected every other year.
Although vindication was sweet and certainly hard-won,
Hold it right there Billy boy (Boy...Who you callin' boy, you redneck bastard? OK Billy Butthead), what's this vindication shit you be talkin' about? Let's analyze what your loony offspring said. She said that Bush knew about the attacks and did nothing, so as to allow his cronies in the defense industry to make money. Yeah, he received a briefing in August that terrorists might hijack airplanes. No dates were given. That's like saying your daughter was gonna say something stupid. Hell we all know that, we just don't know when. And, here's the important question: What was Bush supposed to do? The only thing that would have effectively thwarted the hijackers was to single out Middle Eastern men for additional security checks. Oh yeah I can hear the howls from you, your daughter, Maxine Waters, Hillary Clinton, Tommy Daschle, Dickie Gephardt, John Conyers, the entire Congressional Black Caucus, Danny Glover, Alec Baldwin (What's he still doing here? Wasn't he supposed to leave if Bush won?), and who knows how many others of little or no common sense about the horrors of (gasp) Racial Profiling. Jesus! We can't even do that now. You hypocritical bastards make me want to puke!
it is only a byproduct of the real success of my daughter's questioning of the events of Sept. 11. It has demonstrated my daughter's concern for the voters in her district and her trust in their ability and desire to receive truthful and accurate information.
Actually it is more of a trust in their ability to believe the bullshit she shovels by the truck load.
Her outspoken and courageous statements have placed her and our entire family on the firing line for retaliatory remarks, ridicule and inflammatory accusations.
Which with this famiy's history is right where they belong. Billy McKinney, gentle soul that he is, threatened to pull a knife on a colleague on the floor of the Georgia House of Representatives. That was a real profile in courage.
We appreciate those who recognize the value of true patriotism, who endure the arrows of adversity, and who stand with us in our fight for truth and justice.
You left out 'and the American way'. It goes truth, justice, and the American way. So if I don't stand with you and your loony daughter, I'm not a patriot? Is that what you're saying Billy Butthead? And I do understand truth and justice and you and your daughter are the total antithesis of it. Jesus Christ, your daughter is a bloody communist for Christ's sake. I'm not talking socialist, I'm talking communist.
Every father seeks the approval of his children.
I'm really sorry, but I just can't resist this. Clinton was really looking for Chelsea's approval when he was getting it on with Monica wasn't he?
Every child wants to earn the pride of her parents. I am certainly proud of my daughter --- her courage, her determination
her constant playing of the race card, her coddling of thuggish African dictators, her getting an aisle seat at every State of the Union address to get her mug on television, and her getting elected to Congress. Billy Butthead never made it that far. He is stuck in the state legislature.
and the loyalty she has earned from the people of her district.
Those would be the people in the southern half of her district and the liberals around Emory University whom I call the Emoroids. Those of us up here in Dunwoody are embarassed to have her as our representative and vote against her every election. Unfortunately, the Emoroids swing the district in her favor.
I believe that, in time, even her critics will come to understand her invaluable service.
Yeah, like that's gonna happen anytime real soon. How about never? Does never work for you?
I have remembered a lesson from watching my daughter over the last few weeks that I first learned while standing up to the Ku Klux Klan and angry gangs bent on depriving African Americans of their most basic rights during the fight for civil rights. Sometimes showing courage means standing alone. But it takes no courage to be part of a mob.
Oh yeah, let's bring up Billy's courage during the fight for civil rights. That always works. Cynthia is not showing courage by making loony remarks in a safe protected district. She can say just about anything she wants. Now, if she started talking about self reliance, about doing well in school, about sexual responsibility, and about true independence, that is, supporting one's self and not relying on the government, that would be real courage. Instead, she is one of the Democrat's attack dogs on the Bush Administration.
But I do believe, like loony Cynthia, that there should be an investigation. Unlike Cynthia, however, I think it should go all the way back to 1992 and find out why the FBI and CIA failed so miserably.
I want to thank the AJC's letters editor for printing this letter and Billy McKinney for writing it.
I spent the rest of Sunday laughing.
Flush. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, glorp. That was the sound of common sense going right down the toilet. We have lost the war on terrorism and the reason is we do not want to use the common sense that is required. In essense it has been flushed down the toilet of political correctness. Anyway, a war cannot be fought against a concept. It must be fought against actual people.
Let's review our wars in this country:
We can only fight wars against people and countries. We cannot fight wars against intangibles like poverty, communism, alcohol, drugs, or terror. If we are going to fight a war against terror that means we have to fight a war against people and terrorists. I felt real positive when I heard President Bush say to the countries of the world, 'You're either with us, or you're against us.' I was down in Lebanon, Missouri when the bombing of Afganistan started and when I got to my friend Cliff's house he had the TV on and he greeted me with 'Kabul. Kaboom!' All right! Here's a start! Alas we seem to have not done anything since. I was hoping the warbloggers were right that Bush was playing rope-a-dope to sucker Saddam Hussein but if he is, he's doing such a good job he's got all of us fooled.
If we really want to fight a war against terrorism we need to fight against actual terrorists. Who is the oldest and most active terrorist in the world today? If you answered Yassir (yes sir, yes sir, that's my terrorist) Arafat give yourself a gold star. Because we want to build a coalition of our 'friends' among the 'moderate' Arab states (moderate arab...now there is a real oxymoron), we have been keeping the leash on Ariel Sharon. For a list of our warnings, admonishments, and threats (?) to good 'ol Yassir go here and scroll down to the middle of the June 6 entry. Disgusting isn't it? Do you think the rest of the world believes us when we say we're waging an all out war against terrorism, and, if you're not with us you're against us?
And now, we're creating a new cabinet level bureaucracy. Yeah, that will fix our internal security problems. All right, all you politicans running around pointing fingers about 9/11, I can tell you exactly why 9/11 was not prevented in two words: political correctness. Jesus, it was Middle Eastern men who hijacked the planes on 9/11 and we still are not singling them out for more intensive checks at airports because we would be racial profiling. No, you dickheads, that would be common sense. So, what makes anyone think that if the government were told that men from the Middle East were gonna hijack airplanes they would have pulled the hijackers out of lines for more intensive checks. We are now seeing the stupid spectacle of watching booger eatin' moh-ron screeners, (or as Tommy Daschle said 'To professionalize we must federalize'. Yeah let's federalize our fuckups...That works) go over little old ladies (Excuse me ma'am, we need to look in your bag. Uh, sonny, speak up.. Did you call me a hag?), while letting Akbar and Abdullah go, so we don't offend them. Look, Minetta, I realize it was an injustice that your parents were sent to internment camps during World War II. We were wrong. We're sorry. It won't happen again. We are not planning on locking up all the Muslims in this country. We just want to play the odds and check out the people most likely to hijack an airplane. And for all you Muslims who are against this policy, why don't you start acting like Americans and help us out here? Denounce Islamic terrorists. Because that's with whom we are at war: Muslim fanatics who have so distorted Islam that they are a total disgrace to your religion. Or is Islam a religion of hate? Once we totally destroy them, we can get back to political correctness and our downward spiral to socialism. Put your hatred of Jews and Israel away for awhile.
Here's my plan. Tell Arafat he's done. Let Sharon do what he wants. Tell the other Arab states to butt out or they're next. Forget Saddam for now. Use Israel as a staging area to take out Syria. Syria and Iran are both sponsors of Hezbollah. Watch how quickly Iran shuts up when Syria falls. Now, we don't need the Saudis. We got Syria for a staging area to take out Iraq. So the Saudis cut off our oil. Big deal. When we are looking at them from Iraq, do you think they'll have the nerve to fuck with us. What's the use of being the most powerful nation in the history of this planet if we're gonna let pissants in bathrobes and towels on their heads fuck with us.
How about long range. Let's start a Manhattan project for energy independence. We need to develop fuel cell technology. We need to tell the 'no nukes' buttheads to just shut up and build more nuclear power plants. We need to go from nuclear fission to nuclear fusion. We have the best economy in the world and the best technology in the world. We learned to harness the atom. We put men on the moon. We can achieve energy independence. All it will take is money and determination.
In the meantime, let's suspend political correctness, use common sense and admit that we are not fighting a war against terrorism. We are fighting a war agains Islamic terrorists, a war we can and should win.
And if our Muslim citizens and the rest of the world don't like it they can kiss our big ol' American asses!
Might makes right. And the winners write history.
Otherwise. Flush. Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, glorp.
One of the reasons I became a blogger is I got tired of my local paper, The Atlanta Urinal and Constipation not publishing my letters to the editor. I mean, not a day goes by that there is not something in the paper that sets me off. (Gwen, I really struggled over this last sentence. Is it grammatically correct or not? Double negative...so every day something lights my fuse ) Usually, it is a letter to the editor, an editorial, an op-ed column, or a syndicated column. Molly Ivins doesn't count as I never take her seriously, anyway.
So we've established that the person at the AJC (it should really be AUC) who screens the letters is unable to recognize my superior intelligence and analytical skills, therefore, I blog. I think, therefore I blog. Cogito Ergo Blogo.
Quick, conjugate to blog. blogo...I blog; blogas...you blog; blogat...he/she/it blogs; blogamus..we blog; blogatis...you (plural) blog: blogant...they blog. Hey that's pretty good. I took Latin over 40 years ago. Any one want to correct me, you know where to reach me.
It's off to Reader Opinions from the Tuesday AJC. This letter really caught my eye U.S. should follow Italy's lead on transportation by Neville Anderson of Snellville.
Neville, I've been to Italy. I love Italy. I'm German and English, but I think somewhere way back when, some Roman Centurion had his way with one of my German ancestors. Let me tell you, when it comes to Italy, we don't want to be following them on anything, especially transportation. Do you know that Fiat stands for fix it again Tony? But, let's read some of his letter.
I recently returned from a trip to Italy and noticed several significant cultural differences from the United States.
They spoke Italian and used their hands a lot.
The Italians walked more, drove smaller vehicles, used more public transportation, rode mopeds to work, rode bikes to work and had work/shopping/social communities established around their homes. I was particularly impressed with the public transportation and especially the train system between Rome, Milan, Venice, and Florence.
Neville, do you know why they drive mopeds and small vehicles? Two reasons: Gas costs $4 a gallon and there's no place to park. I have never seen more creative parking than in Rome. 'Luigi, looka there, there'sa two feet by thata tree. We canna squeeza our Cinquecento inna there. Iffa not, we canna surely lifta the backa da car onna the sidewalk.' Look, they did it! And I love the bus system in Rome! You buy this ticket at a magazine kiosk and when you get on the bus you're supposed to put it in a machine and cancel it. Watch the Italians. They don't. So I don't either. There's a big sign that says failure to cancel the ticket will result in a 20,000 Lire fine. But since I don't read Italian, and I'm a dumb American, what can I do but when in Rome.... 'Uh, you talking to me? Uh, uh, non capisco, uh, uh, io sono,uh, uh, Americano', (dammit why don't they speak English?) while rapidly paging thru the Italian phrase book. I was in Rome for over a week, rode the buses the whole time on the same ticket and never got caught. What a country! And Neville is right about the trains. The Italian train system is really great.
I am not a transportation expert, but I believe some simple solutions to our traffic problems are right before us. Employers could promote and give incentives for telecommuting. Motorists should try driving smaller vehicles or even scooters or other more fuel-efficient vehicles and live closer to work.
What do you want to bet that Neville owns an SUV? Most of the people who are big advocates of mass transit want transit for the masses not themselves.
We need to continue to plan smart communities built with entertainment, work, shopping, and dining options as part of the master plan. And we should develop more public transportation.
Yeah get those masses on busses and stuff so the highways are free for me.
In Wednesday's AJC they had a real 'man bites dog' editorial. It was titled Atlanta should roll back taxes. Posted without comment as I am totally speechless (or wordless as the case may be)!
In the same issue they had the usual obligatory anti-Israel letter sent in by Husam Jamjoum. Here is the last paragraph:
I have to agree with Zak that "unclean hands" are not entitled to relief, but a country built with the purpose of subjecting its inhabitants to a brutal occupation simply because they do not share the same religion is a country that is not entitled to peace and security.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to understand which country Husam is talking about. In Israel, Arabs have full rights of citizenship. They can vote and eveything. Is there another Arab country where Arabs can vote? I'm waiting. No hands? C'mon, there's gotta be one. In Israel, Muslims can practice their religion. Name me one Arab country outside of Egypt and Jordan where Jews (or Christians) can practice their religion. I'm waiting. Still waiting. C'mon, Husam, just name me one.
I thought the AJC Reader Opinion page had to be just about the worst in the country right behind the San Francisco Chronicle. They must have some really funny stuff in the water in the Bay Area. But, my home town newspaper, the St. Louis Post Dispatch, has to have published one of the most rediculous letters I have ever read in my entire life. I got this off the site of the Midwest Conservative Journal. This site is run by Christopher Johnson. He lives in Webster Groves, where the grouchy old cripple grew up and spent his formative years. Maybe if he follows links back, he'll read some of my stuff and send some traffic my way. Here is the letter:
Modern American business has given us two abuses that cry out for relief. The first is miniprint. Miniprint is routinely used for contest rules, warranties, disclaimers and other contractual provisions. The miniprint is so small and the lines so close together that even a person with 20/20 vision finds it impossible to read. I have tried using a magnifying glass, but reading and understanding miniprint is still a daunting task.
The other abuse is rapidspeak following commercial announcements
on radio. After a glowing description of the seller's product or
service, incomprehensible rapidspeak is used to cover the limitations,
restrictions and warnings that the seller really does not want the
listener to hear much less understand. Often the rapidspeak is so fast
that all the listener hears is incomprehensible noise.
I am not one who thinks that every problem can or should be solved
by governmental intervention. However, miniprint and rapidspeak
provide a fertile field for remedial legislation at the federal level.
Ralph K. Soebbing
Brentwood
What can I possibly say? I'm with you all the way Ralph. And I'll tell you what else we need to fix while we're at it. Those darn pesky telemarketers are starting to leave messages on my answering machine at home. Now there's a fertile field for remedial legislation at the federal level. And while we're at it, let's do something about those booger eatin' moh-rons on their cellphones in front of me in the grocery store checkout line. And how about late at night when the TV commercials are lots louder than the regular programs. I want a federal law about that also.
And for sure I want some remedial federal legislation that requires everyone to read my blogs. Let's get little Dickie Gephardt (I think Brentwood is in his district) and little Tommy Daschle right on this. Chop! Chop! Hop to it boys!
And put in the legislation that I want to get paid.
After my dinner with Bryce last night, I had to drive home in the rain. I'm between glasses prescriptions and don't see as well as I should which is another story. Anyway, since my vision is a little off, I missed my turn and had to go home the long way, but due to the fact that part of it was limited access highway it was actually faster. Who cares? This is just fill to make this blog longer. After I got home, the rains really came. We had some bodacious thunder boomers. The nice thing about a really good rain is it cleans up the air of all the smog crud.
This morning dawned bright and clear, I mean crystal clear with temperatures in the lower seventies. What a day to drive the Z3 to work. Right after I got on 285 I ran it up to 80 and cranked up Guns 'n' Roses' Welcome to the Jungle on the Harmen Karden sound system. Yeah, I'm 55 and I listen to Guns 'n, Roses. What's it to ya? It doesn't get much better than this: a fast car, top down, stereo blaring. Why couldn't I have afforded this when I was in my 20's? If I could have, I would have probably wrecked the car and killed myself.
I got to work and in the parking lot, met one of my fellow workers and asked him how he was. 'Still here', he replied. This seems to be the standard answer lately. TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) was visited by the dreaded Dark Angel of Layoffs last week. Excuse me, the current euphemism is 'skills rebalancing' as in we're skill rebalancing your ass right out the door. (Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not you anymore.) So it's not the optimum work environment. My fellow worker told me to make sure to look at the poster on the bulletin board by the restrooms. He said I'd get a kick out of it.
So on my way to get my first cup of coffee I made sure to pass by said bulletin board. And there was a poster informing me that June is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Pride Month. (To save space let's just call it GLBTPM) Now if that isn't a mouthful (ooops...no pun intended), I sure don't know what is. Stop the presses! Fire our vice-president in charge of diversity (VPICOD)! Here it is June 5 and this is the first I've heard of this? Where the heck is the company wide memo? But didn't they leave some people out? How about monosexuals? They're the ones who have sex with themselves. How about hermaphrodites? How about cross dressers? Do they fall under transgenders?
So now I'm thinking. This is always a dangerous activity. We have a Black History Month, right? It's February and it only has twenty-eight days and GLBTPM has thirty days. I detect some racism here. Wait a minute! There is Martin Luther King's birthday which is a holiday and since it replaced Washington's birthday and Washington's birthday has been combined with Lincoln's birthday to become Presidents Day, that makes MLK's birthday equal to two days so I guess it all works out. Right?
At the end of the day, I got a call from my friend Gwen. She is a liberal but I don't hold it against her. She has been reading some of my rantings and told me I'm not as bad as Rush Limbaugh and some of the other conservatives. That's because I'm a libertarian. And Gwen has actually been the victim of some political correctness. I keep saying there is hope for her yet. I told her about GLBTPM and she said 'Oh yeah, there are Asian-American and Native-American months.' Once again, our VPICOD is falling down on the job. No one has told me about this. How can I do a good job of Valuing Diversity, if no one tells me what I'm supposed to be valuing that particular month? Why don't they print up Diversity Calendars so we know whose month it is so we can value that particular group?
I had already decided that I was gonna write sumpin' about GLBTPM when I got home, but now I'm thinking some more. Remember that's dangerous for me. I fire up Google and first I start with the hyphens. Let's see what I get when I plug in Asian-American awareness month. Holy fried rice! 394 hits. Their month is May. Didn't get a memo from our VPICOD so I missed it. I apologize to all our fellow citizens with epicanthic folds. (That's for those of you who read) And I really feel bad since my friend Cindy's best friend Carol has adopted a little Chinese girl and I didn't wish Carol Happy Asian-American Awareness Month.
So let's Google our way down the hyphens:
Let's do diseases:
How about disabilities? I'm throwing deaf and blind in here even though miltant deaf folks don't consider that a disability. Maybe the blind don't either. And I don't know about the mutes because they won't talk about it. (Sorry that just slipped out).
I tried hits on paraplegic awareness month, spinal cord injury awareness month, and even cripple awareness month with no success. I need to get Mark Johnson, the professional disablility advocate at Shepherd Center in Atlanta, to work on this and maybe he can chain himself to some buildings until we can get a month. I didn't find any awareness assigned to January, July, August, and December so he can try for those months.
So to summarize:
There is no Grouchy Old Cripple Awareness Month. I want my own month!
Let's start the year off right and make it January.
"Listen my children and you will hear..." Ooops! That was from another time when freedom, liberty and self reliance, ya know, the principles that this country was built upon really mattered. All right, what has pissed off the Grouchy Old Cripple this time. Well, it's just another Sunday column by The Atlanta Urinal and Contipation's opinion page's editor, Cynthia Tucker. Before I attack Cynthia, who is extremely liberal, let me first say that Cynthia is a liberal I actually respect. She called for Clinton's resignation during Monicagate and she has taken the King family to task for cashing in on his name. In Atlanta, that takes a lot of guts. So let's take a look at Cynthia's column from this Sunday's paper.
Just in time for the re-election campaign, the U.S. House of Representatives has decided to crack down on welfare again, this time with a proposal that insists
mothers on welfare work a full 40 hours a week.
That sounds reasonable to me. The Grouchy Old Cripple has to work 40 hours a week.
If you don't look at the plan too closely, it seems reasonable enough. After all, few serious policy-makers want to return to the days of welfare dependence,
when poverty-stricken mothers could draw government checks for life.
Let me just interject here that our politicians get to draw really hefty pension checks for life. I'd like to see some reform there. Anyway, it does seem reasonable not to have poverty-sticken mothers draw welfare checks for life. More to come.
Indeed, many former welfare recipients now celebrate their newfound
self-reliance and their remade lives of valued labor, supportive
colleagues and, in a few cases, progress toward the economic
mainstream. They revel in the belief they are now
serving as responsible role models for their children.
This is what is known as the American Dream.
However, the GOP proposal is based on the faulty premise that if tough love is good, tougher love is even better. If adopted, it threatens to undo much of the progress that welfare reform has accomplished so far.
For example, poor working mothers need help with day care, but the GOP plan doesn't attempt to meet that need. Poor working women also need education to improve their lot, but the bill doesn't provide enough flexibility or job training for women who can barely read or write.
Oh man where do I start? How about the end. Why the heck can't they read and write? Especially in Atlanta where they pay (are you ready for this?) over ten thousand dollars per pupil. That is a fucking (excuse me...when I get really pissed off fuck seems to magically enter my screeds) disgrace! And what is the solution? We need more fucking money. No! You need some goddamn fucking accountability! Look, I'm getting really tired of all this cultural biased stuff about how some people can't get through school. I don't care if you are black or white but 1 + 1 equals 2 and ' Look look Dick, see Spot run. Funny, funny Spot' shouldn't be that hard to comprehend. And don't give me any of that self esteem bullshit. High self esteem doesn't get you a job when you cannot read or write. If someone cannot read at a first grade level he (or she) should stay in the fucking first grade until he (or she) can fucking read and write at the first grade level and if the fucking teacher cannot teach him (or her) to read and write at that level fire the fucking son of a bitch. Man, I'm really on a roll here.
Worse yet, the House proposal doesn't answer a tough question: Where are
those mothers supposed to get jobs in an economy just barely wheezing out of a recession? At a time when longtime steel and textile workers are being laid off and recent college grads send out scores of resumes just to get a single job interview, who is going to hire women with spotty work histories and minimal
skills?
No, the tough question that is not answered here is why are these women mothers? Oh is that not politically correct?
Indeed, around the country, state welfare officials are reporting a predictable
relapse: Some former welfare recipients who have found and kept jobs for years now are being laid off during the recession and have had to seek welfare support again.
The only thing missing here is that it was the 'Bush Recession'. But I think Cynthia is smart enough to realize it started during the Clinton administration. Like I said she is an honest liberal, an exception to the rule. Honest liberal ... what an oxymoron that is.
Even then, most welfare recipients found jobs that left them out of the economic mainstream, and most remained mired in poverty. After all, a job paying $7 an hour only grosses $14,560 a year with full-time employment. Try raising a kid on that.
OK. Here we go. Try raising a kid on that. Yeah. Here's the question. Why are you trying to raise a kid on $14,560 a year? When I was a mere lad, I asked my mother why she didn't have more children. I would have liked to have had a brother and I know my sister would have liked to have had a sister. Her answer: We couldn't afford it. 'Oh man', I say, slapping my head, 'why didn't I think of that?' And that is the crux of the problem: illiterate girls having children they cannot afford. Let me say the liberals have one good idea: sex education. Let's have it early and often. Here is a rubber. Here is a banana. Practice this. Put on one rubber. Put on two rubbers. Jesus, put on five. If you can't say no to the scumbag who says he loves you make sure you have a bunch of rubbers. And by the way, don't put it on a banana, put it on him. If you don't, you are gonna be one of those 'poor welfare mothers'.
Now here is another triumph of liberalism. It is no longer a sin to have a baby out of wedlock. My oh my, we shouldn't be judgemental. I hope all you liberals are proud. Removing the stigma of pregnancy out of marriage and the Great fucking Society succeeded in doing more damage to the black family than all the Jim Crow laws in existence. I mean since the advent of the Great fucking Society in 1967, the illegitimacy rate of blacks has risen from under 20% to over 70%. And just to prove that you do not discriminate the illegitimacy rate among poor white women has also risen. The Great fucking Society indeed.
If Congress were serious about bringing poor, unskilled women into the American mainstream --- if it were more interested in helping than in posturing --- it would pour billions of dollars into education. It's a formula that has been used with striking success in developing countries: If you want to improve the lives of children, educate their mothers. If we believe it is imperative to educate women in Afghanistan, why not give equal attention to educating women in America?
Oh yeah. That's the ticket. Poor more billions down the cesspool we call our education system. Here's what I would do. Eliminate the Department of Education. Thanks Jimmy Carter. Education sure has improved since Jimmy established the Department of Education. Now, move education back to the states and privatize it. I mean if you paid a private education company $10,000 per student they couldn't do much worse than the current system. And finally, at least in the black community, remove the stigma of learning as 'acting white'. Tell the NAACP to quit worrying about the fucking Confederate flag and start worrying about all the poor blacks in the ghetto who can't read and write. I guarantee moving the Confederate flag off the grounds of the state capitol in South Carolina is not going to move one child out of poverty. I'm sorry but you assholes are acting like booger eatin' moh-rons.
To answer that question is to reveal a dirty little secret: The House welfare reform proposal isn't really designed to rescue a lost generation from welfare dependence. It merely provides a podium from which members of the House of Representatives can lecture poor women about the need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
And if poor women never get to hear that lecture, that's OK, too. They aren't the real target audience anyway. The message is a marketing ploy, intended to win middle-class votes by punishing poor women for making dumb choices ---
dropping out of school, using drugs, getting pregnant outside the bonds of
marriage. Life already provides enough punishment for those mistakes. We don't need government piling on as well.
Punishing poor women for making dumb choices. Actions have consequences. If you're gonna bring a child in this world, you should be able to support that child. If you've done it once, you should know where it came from and how to prevent it from happening again. Look, I never had children, even tho' I always wanted to, but I never found a woman who could put up with my bullshit. Now, I'm expected to pay for someone else's child? Nowhere in the Constitution does it say that the government should take my money to support poor women for making dumb choices. If I had my way, any woman who went on welfare would immediately be sterilized. 'But it's my right to be havin' these babies.' Then it's my right to be keeping my money and you can support your babies on your own.
And finally, the paper published a fantastic essay by a sophomore at a private college prep school named Michael Weldon. I wonder if the tuition is $10,000 per year? Here is the link. Here is just one excerpt:
Nowhere in the Constitution does it give Congress the right to oversee public education, yet we have a Cabinet position for that very purpose. Nowhere does it say in the Constitution that the government has the right to tax one age and class of people to pay for another's medication. Not one sentence in the Constitution gives the government the right to heavily tax the successful
and give "free passes" to the "financially unfortunate."
Michael Weldon is a rising sophomore at Woodward Academy.
What is a shame is that when I was a lowly freshman at a Public school in 1960, I was taught the Constitution.
Obviously, it is not taught in public schools today.
Too bad.
I don't usually blog on Saturdays. I have more important things to do, like, nothing. About all I do on Saturday is grocery shop and every now and then go to Home Depot for home and garden stuff. Then on Saturday evening, I grill a steak, pop a nice bottle of red wine and kick back and enjoy life here at GOC Central in Beautiful Dunwoody, Georgia. In the winter, I finish off the meal with a nice glass of cognac. In the summer it is grappa or lemoncello. But today, as I was reading the paper, three items jumped out at me. Nay, they screamed for attention.
The first item was an article on the front page of the Urinal and Constipation titled Taxes driving out Lynwood's old-timers. The gist of the article is that due to gentrification in an old black neighborhood in north DeKalb County. Housing values have more than doubled in a year. One example is a house appraised at $32,000 last year was appraised at $82,500 this year. The particular home owner is quoted in the article.
"It will be very hard for me," said Henderson, sitting on the front porch of a house she doesn't want to sell because her mother lives across the street.
Aw, you're breaking my heart here. Just like me, her taxes are going up due to rising housing prices. Whenever I read a story like this I know that there is gonna be a hue and cry for Government to do Something! Unfortunately, whenever Government does Something!, I wind up getting screwed.There are now gonna be calls for tax breaks for senior citizens. It's already happening. So says Patricia Martin, 70, who has lived in the neighborhood since she was 7 years old.
Seniors deserve break
If that is not feasible, Martin suggests that property taxes remain at the previous
year's rate for seniors. "They ought to get a break," Martin said.
County officials are sympathetic. Rising property taxes for seniors was an issue
mentioned at a recent meeting among elderly care providers to discuss ways to
better serve DeKalb's older residents.
Awright, do you know what that means? It means my taxes are going up! Every fucking time Government does Something! my fucking taxes go up! Here's a novel idea: Why not cut the County budget and lower everybody's taxes? I guarantee there is not a city, county, state, or federal budget that cannot be cut. I have to balance my budget. If my income goes down, I have to cut expenses. The company I work for, TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), has to cut expenses when its revenue decreases. It did so again this past week with layoffs. How come we don't have gummint layoffs? Because too many politicians look at the gummint as a jobs program for their constituents. A fine example. The city of Atlanta had to increase property taxes this year by, are you ready for this? 50%!! Atlanta has more city employees per capita (approximately 50% more) than any other city of a comparable size in the US. What is wrong with this picture? And the politicians are upfront about this. City Councilwoman Debi Starns, stated that she was elected to provide jobs for her constituents. She wanted property taxes increased even more! And guess what? In Atlanta, due to exemptions, guess who pay most of the property taxes? Yes, you way in the back? That's right, those evil hated, rich white folks.
My friend Cindy just came by and we went to Home Depot. She needed pine bark. I have a truck. After that I went grocery shopping and was afraid I wasn't gonna get back in the mood, but not to worry. Stand by for a screed within a screed
At the store, I got in the checkout line where the checker was ringing up the very last item for the person in front of me. Unfortunately, he was a booger eatin' moh-ron on a goddamned cell phone. He also had his kids running up wanting to buy more chips. Arrggghhh! What is so fucking important that you have to be on the fucking phone in the fucking checkout line? I'm sorry for the language, but this shit really pisses me off! He yelled at the kids to just get the chips, signed the credit card slip, without getting off the phone and then just stood there in my way! Finally, after a not so gentle nudge from my shopping cart he moved away. I was just waiting for him to say something, but he just kept talking on the phone and walked off with one of the kids pushing the cart. The kindly old gentleman bagging my groceries remarked that cell phones were gonna be the death of civilization. I replied that they were almost the death of the asshole in front of me. I think if I would have beat him to death with my crutch the checker and the bagger would have supported me in my plea of justifiable booger eatin' moh-ronicide.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, government.
Georgia's public schools rank about 47th out of the 50 states, and the Atlanta public schools are the worst in the state. The new mayor of Atlanta asked the public school system to try to find somewhere in their budget to save money. Guess what? They couldn't find any savings anywhere. This from a public school system that spends over $13,000 per pupil! That is not a typo. Thirteen-fucking-thousand dollars per pupil in a failing cause! Jesus! Shut the schools down and send them all to private schools. Unfortunately, there are not enough private schools and the Teachers' Union would not allow it anyway.
So I'm sorry Carrie Henderson. I won't shed any tears for you. Sell your house, take the profit, and move to Bartow County where the taxes are cheap. Don't ask me to pay your share of DeKalb County taxes. Mine are already high enough, thank you.
But I'm not done. There was another article in the paper titled Fear taints urge to help poor for metro Muslims Some excerpts follow:
Many Muslims in metro Atlanta fear to write "Muslim" or "Islam" on a check. Their
worry: They could be accused of supporting terrorism.
That's because they probably are.
Groundbreaking for a larger mosque to replace the Al-Farooq Masjid of Atlanta on
14th Street is due in four to eight weeks, but members are worried the project
won't be completed because only 30 percent of pledged donations have come in.
You're breaking my heart.
Plans to build a Muslim Community Center, including a mosque and school, in
Roswell have been put on hold. The Muslim community could not afford the rent
for a temporary community center while they planned the construction project.
Quit it! You've got me crying real tears!
In Lawrenceville, a Muslim school due to be completed in August is not expected
to be finished even by the end of the year, the director said, citing the sluggish
economy and people's "fear that they'll be incorrectly associated with a terrorist
group."
That could be due to the fact that we've discovered lots of Muslim schools in this country that have been teaching their students hatred of America. Oh and this next part really tugs on my heartstrings.
"I want to put money in the right place because when you put on a veil, it's
enough for people to think that you're a terrorist. It's no longer a war on
terrorism but a war on Islam," Abdalla said.
All right Abdalla, lets get one thing straight right here and now. We did not declare war on Islam. Islam delared war on us! And I'm still waiting for the Islamic leaders to denounce terrorism. I've heard a lot of root cause bullshit and a lot of Islam is a religion of peace bullshit. But the fact remains that it was Islamofascists who killed 3000 innocent people on 9/11. Osama bin Laden and Mullah Omar do not think Islam is a religion of peace. The Islamofascists who are about to start World War III over Kashmir do not think Islam is a religion of peace. Tehran and Baghdad do not think Islam is a religion of peace. Yassir Arafat and his thugs do not think Islam is a religion of peace. Those crazy bastards think it's holy to brainwash a sixteen year old kid into blowing himself up and taking a bunch of women and children with them. Oh, maybe they mean it's a religion of piece. A piece blown here. A piece blown there. So pardon me if I don't believe the Islam is a religion of peace bullshit.
And another thing Abdalla. Contrast the almost total lack of vandalism against mosques here with the attacks on synagogues in France and other countries. You hypocritical bastards drive me crazy. If you want to be respected in this country start acting like Americans. You can maintain your religion and still condemn terrorism against this country and the rest of the world done in the name of Islam. We're all waiting. And finally, from Khalid Siddiq
"We have to do the right thing ourselves and leave the rest to God and the
integrity of the government. We hope the government will maintain integrity
and no bias against any particular group," he said. "Islam shows us that
there's a lot of value in decency and integrity."
And that is the way we feel in this country. Contrast that with Islamic countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq and many others who will tolerate no other religion but Islam. We are the most tolerant nation on this planet. We are the most tolerant nation in the history of this planet. So quit your bitching and start acting like Americans. And if you don't like that you can take your Islamic asses and get on a plane and go back to the sorry countries that you came from. Just hope that none of your Islamic friends hijack the plane and ram it into a building.
And finally on a lighter note, Dr. Sumeet Bhushan, wrote a letter to the editor complaining about the airlines charging him a fee for rescheduling a flight. The part of the letter I found most amusing was the following:
I am a physician, and I can imagine the turmoil if I were to charge my patients a
fee for rescheduling their appointments.
Ha Ha Sumeet. Good one. Just like the airlines, you overbook and think nothing about keeping a patient waiting two hours or more for a scheduled appointment. Maybe you should refund some of your fees for keeping me waiting.
I hate it when doctors bitch about anything.
Time to go pour myself a Stoly on the rocks and fire up the grill.
Have a nice weekend!