Last night at 2:30 AM the vet called and said Doofus had had two more seizures and wasn't producing any urine and did I want to come see him. Since I thought this meant he was dying and I felt bad enough, I declined. I called the hospital this morning and they said he was able to stand up and was eating and he was now producing urine. I talked to the doctor this afternoon and he said his kidneys were still not functioning at 100% but were a lot better than they were in the morning. I went to visit him this evening and he was a lot better. They want to keep him another day and continue feeding him fluids, so hopefully, I'll be able to bring him home tomorrow. He's a tough old coot.
I went scuba diving over the weekend. I drove down to Crystal River, Florida on Thursday. We dove in the Crystal River on Friday and, alas, saw no manatees. Damn! I want my money back! On Saturday, we did a drift dive in Rainbow River. A drift dive is like a float trip, only you do it under water. Of course, this wasn't as good as ocean diving, but I did get to work on my buoyancy control.
Thursday, before I left, I was frantically looking for my dive logbook. I couldn't find it anywhere. I did one last search before I went, looking once again, in all the closets. Upon opening the closet where I normally stash my dive gear an irate little tabby, Ashley, came out and gave me a meow of admonition. All I could think about was Connie du Toit's cat stuck in a closet when she and Kim went on a trip back east. I would have hoped my house sitter would have found her.
It started raining when I hit Florida and rained all the way to Crystal River. But, the next two days were beautiful.
Now to my point. This was an adaptive scuba trip, but the only crips were Extreme Mike, Ray the brain damaged guy, and myself.
I have had people tell me that I am an inspiration because I scuba dive, adaptive snow ski, and have soloed in an airplane (I have the log book to prove it). To that, I say"bullshit". I am a T12/L1 paraplegic with some functionality below my level of injury. Thus, I am able to walk with the aid of braces and crutches. I can drive a car without having to use hand controls. I have a full open water certification, though my certifier requested I always dive with two dive buddies, not for my safety, but for the safety of my dive buddy. I can do a tired diver tow, but not if I'm tired myself. In the land of the crips there are many people worse off than I.
Extreme Mike is an incomplete quadroplegic. That means he has some functionality below his level of injury. He can drive with hand controls, but doesn't have enough arm strength to propel a wheelchair so he has to use an electric powered chair. His legs are completely paralyzed. In spite of this he has skydived (with someone holding on of course) and other stuff, like scuba diving. Since he has no way of propelling himself, he has to be totally dependent on his dive buddy, just like when he jumped out of an airplane he was totally dependent on the guy he jumped with. This takes an incredible amount of both bravery and trust. Now he is an inspiration.
Three of the people on the trip were HSA (Handicapped Scuba Association) certified dive buddies. That means they went through a course to teach them how to dive with handicapped people like Extreme Mike and myself. These people are inspirational also.
Bert Quist is the owner of divers@sea in Atlanta. He is the person who puts together the adaptive scuba program with Shepherd Center, a major rehab center in Atlanta. (I'm an alumnus of Shepherd). I've been on two adaptive trips with Bert and he is incredible at taking care of the disabled divers. He is creative and patient. And he works very hard. Some people, like Extreme Mike, have to be totally suited up by another person. Then, when in the water, have to be propelled by one or two people. These people not only have to control their own buoyancy, but the buoyancy of the person that they are responsible for. That is not an easy task. Bert does it well.
Another person is Graham Wilson. Graham, like Bert, is a Master Diver and is also an HSA certified dive buddy. He goes on all the adaptive scuba trips. Altho' he is not getting paid for doing it, Graham works every bit as hard as Bert does. He is also fantastic at working with disabled people. Keep in mind that this is not his job. He just loves diving and is willing to help out.
And the last person is Angie Rowe who is one of the recreational therapists at Shepherd Center. As Rachel Lucas wrote in her posts about working in a nursing home, there are care givers and people who work as care givers. Likewise, there are recreational therapists and people who work as recreational therapists. Angie is the former. On our trip to Roatan last year, Angie worked very, very hard, Her husband Jason came along and he worked hard also. I just cannot say enough about Angie. Plus, she's cute and is fun to be with.
I have found that divers, overall, are a great group of people. I was a diver before my accident and on all but one occasion, my dive buddy was someone I met on the boat. I never had a bad dive buddy. On this weekend's trip, there were two divers who finished their open water checkout on the first day. They pitched in to help Extreme Mike get suited up and helped get him in and out of the water. I'm sure there are assholes in the dive community, but I have never met one.
So me an inspiration for others? Not a chance! Extreme Mike, Bert, Graham, and Angie? They are inspirational people.
Sunday morning I got up and it was raining. All the way to Gainesville, it poured down. The rain didn't stop until just outside of Georgia. Now, it's time for a mini-rant.
Listen up! If you are driving in the left lane and someone is five feet away from your rear bumper or passing you on the right, YOU ARE DRIVING TOO SLOW! Pull over to the right lane. I don't care if you are driving the speed limit. In Georgia the speed limit is ten miles over the posted speed limit or whatever the cops decide to allow. In Georgia we like to drive fast and we do. If you are poking along at 70 MPH, you are holding up traffic. You are an impediment to good traffic flow. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! Or better yet, stay off the highway.
Thanks. I fell better now.
I was gonna write sumpin' tonight about inspirational people but, I got home from my diving trip and my 15 year old diabetic cat, Doofus was in one of the closets. As he usually punishes me for a few minutes for leaving him this was normal behavior. After moving to another closet and ignoring me, I began to think sumpin' was wrong. I got him out of the closet and petted him for a while, but he just didn't feel right. Upon setting him down, I noticed he couldn't use his rear legs. Thinking he might have had a stroke, I called my friend Cindy and she came over and took us to the emergency vet. On the way to the vet, he had a real bad seizure. We found out his glucose was real low and they gave him an IV. They're keeping him for the night.
I've learned a lot more about diabetes than I ever wanted to know. Doofus is on a special diet which is also fine for my other cat, Ashley, since she's a little porker. I have a house sitter who is a medical assistant and she was giving Doofus his insulin shots twice a day just as I instructed her to. What I think happened is he didn't eat as much because I was gone and the insulin lowered his blood sugar too much. I can usually tell when to lower the dose but the house sitter, not knowing Doofus as well as I, didn't realize what was happening.
So, I'm really bummed out tonight. I'm sorry. I'm behind on comments and e-mail. I'll try to catch up this week.
I'll write about my trip and inspirational people, plus a mini-rant on drivers on the interstates tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I'm driving to Crystal River in Florida to go scuba diving for the weekend. Hopefully, we'll see some manatees. I'll be back on Sunday.
Also, I'm all better now. Blood pressure is back down. No foul language tonight.
Pat, a longtime friend (36 years!) sent me the following on how to explain how the world works to one of those idiot 'peace is the only answer' idiots:
As always, when stuff is sent to me uncredited, I am unable to give credit where credit is due. If anyone knows who wrote this, I will post the author and a link to their site, if they have one.
Thanks to someone who commented on Toren Smith's site it looks like here is where it came from.
I have two distinct memories from the first Gulf War.
The first one was an interview I saw on CNN. A clueless reporter was interviewing an Army sergeant and asking questions about his tank. One of the questions was, "What does this big gun do?" The sergeant answered, without missing a beat, "Mostly, it shoots big bullets." My friend, Wahoo, and I laughed for about five minutes straight. Even today, I can ask him what a big gun is for and he'll give me the answer and we still get a big laugh out of it.
The second remembrance was a press briefing by Stormin' Norman. He was showing videos of bombing runs and he introduced one by saying, "Here is the luckiest guy in Irag." We then saw a car going across a bridge. As soon as the car got across the bridge, Stormin' Norman said, "And then he looked in his rearview mirror and this is what he saw." Boom! The bridge blew up.
And now, what the unluckiest person in Iraq will see.
Omigawd! This is just so beautiful, I have to share it.
Awright. Why do I sit down at my computer every night and type out some rant, or screed, or essay or an attempt to be humorous? It's because I got tired of screaming at the radio and television and throwing the editorial page of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation across the room and saying, "Does Jay Bookman really believe that shit or is he just making it up? Can anyone be that out of touch with reality? And Molly Ivins? If women are from Venus and men are from Mars she must be from fucking Pluto!"
I tried writing letters to the editor. They published three out of the ten I submitted. Obviously they didn't recognize genius, the liberal fkwds!
Y'know, people denigrate O'Reilly, but he is the only interviewer on television who won't put up with bullshit. I remember during the 444 days of 'America Held Hostage' on ABC which was the precursor of Nightline, when Ted Koppel would ask these Iranian dipshits diplomats questions and they would go off on tangents and start spouting their bullshit about how bad America was, and I would scream at Ted Koppel to tell the camel jockey to shut the fuck up and answer the fucking question. He never would.
O'Reilly does. He asked some Jesse Jackson apologist to give some examples of Fox's rightwing bias. The guy said there were too many to name. O'Reilly just asked him to name one. The guy said there were too many to name. This bullshit went on for five minutes which just showed all the viewers that this guy was just blowing smoke up his ass.
He did the same thing with that bald headed PBEM ( Palestinian booger eatin' moh-ron), who I swear reminds me of Henry Waxman. He asked him a question and the PBEM started spouting the 'it's all the fucking Jews fault' bullshit and O'Reilly stepped right in his shit and told him to answer the fucking question. The PBEM started off on some more of his bullshit and O'Reilly told him to stop acting so stupid and answer the fucking question. Then the PBEM got pissed because O'Reilly called him stupid. Fuck you, you PBEM answer the fucking question! We need more interviewers like that.
So, why am I so pissed off tonight? I was driving home and one of the talk radio stations was interviewing the owner of a local newspaper (not really a newspaper but for lack of a better name I'll call it that) called Creative Loafing. Let's face it, the guy who runs a publication called Creative Loafing must be a liberal because this must be a publication for grasshoppers looking for more creative ways to fuck off. I have a friend who has a sister who is in her 50's, has a PHD. in English, and has never held a fulltime job (her parents support her). The sister was a campaign worker for George McGovern's campaign. She used to write a column for Creative Loafing. She's a socialist. Wotta surprise!
So this guy starts off spouting the normal liberal bullshit:
Asshole: The war is evil! It's all about oil.
Talk show host: OK! How do we get out of this situation?
Asshole: Uh. I don't know.
At which time the Grouchy Old Cripple would say, "If you can't come up with any constructive ideas, then shut the fuck up!"
But the asshole is not done. He has to go right to liberal talking points:
Asshole: Bush was appointed president.
This is when I started screaming.
GOC: Read the fucking Constitution you fucking asshole! (BP 140/90)
Asshole: Bush was not elected with a majority of the votes.
GOC: Neither was Gore you fucking asshole! They both got 49%. (BP 150/95)
Asshole: Clinton was elected with a majority.
GOC: 1992 43%, 1996 49%. (BP 160/90) And talkshow host, why are you letting this asshole get away with this shit unchallenged?
Give me a chance to interview these assholes. I'll have a tape of Glen Gould playing the Goldberg Variations and I'll be rhetorically beating them with a nightstick like Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs.
And while I'm talking about beating someone with a nightstick, Rachel Lucas was much too merciful about what she would do with Ansa Akbar, the bastard who rolled the grenades into his comrades' tents. I wouldn't execute the bastard right off the bat. He'd have to slip on the soap in the shower a few times. He'd have to fall out of bed a few times. And when it was time to shoot the sorry sonuvabitch they would have some sorry marksmen who would shoot out his knees first. Then maybe gutshoot the asshole. Someone like that, who would turn on his comrades, deserves to die slow.
Sorry I'm in such a foul mood tonight.
Better stuff tomorrow.
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. Do I answer Pierre's latest comment? Do I fisk Molly Ivins? Sorry. Inside my one month window. Can't do it. Or, do I go after Leon Fuerth.
The Atlanta Urinal and Constipation often publishes op-eds in their print edition that they do not put on their website. So, to find online copies I have to do a google search, check the N.Y. Times' site or the Washington Post's site. There was an op-ed by Leon Fuerth in today's AJC. It was originally published in the Washington Post on March 20. The AJC's title is Empire? U.S. now looking the part. To which I respond: Empire? Bullshit!
Leon Fuerth, by the way, was national security advisor to Algore, which I guess is another good reason that Gore the bore didn't win the election. Let's check out what Leon has to say.
The word "empire" has been used fairly often as a metaphor to convey the global scope of American interests and of American military, economic and political influence. After the conquest of Iraq, however, it can be fairly argued that we shall have created not a figure of speech but a concrete reality.
Now let's see. If we were really an empire it seems to me that we would have a lot more possesions than we do. We have told the Puerto Ricans they could have independence any time they want. They keep voting against it. But, Colin Powell stated it best.
And when all those conflicts were over, what did we do? Did we stay and conquer? Did we say, "Okay, we defeated Germany. Now Germany belongs to us? We defeated Japan, so Japan belongs to us"? No. What did we do? We built them up. We gave them democratic systems which they have embraced totally to their soul.
And did we ask for any land? No, the only land we ever asked for was enough land to bury our dead.
And that is the kind of nation we are.
And by the way, I heard that there was an earthquake in France.
March 11, 2003. Today it was reported that severe earthquakes have
occurred in 10 different locations in France. The severity was measured
in excess of 10 on the Richter Scale. The cause was the 56,681 dead
American soldiers buried in French soil rolling over in their graves.
According to the American Battle Monuments Commission there are 26,255
Yankee dead from World War I buried in 4 cemeteries in France. There are
30,426 American dead from World War II buried in 6 cemeteries in France.
These 56,681 brave American heroes died in their youth to liberate a
country which is guilty of shameful unspeakable behavior in the 21st
century. May the United States of America never forget their sacrifice
as we find ways to forcefully deal with the Godforsaken unappreciative,
forgetful country of France!
The above was sent to me by many readers.
We just ain't got the hang of this empire stuff yet.
First of all, we will have made clear that the United States answers to no authority other than itself when it comes to the use of military force. Moreover, the authority of the United States will be mostly indistinguishable from the personal will of its president. The Bush doctrine of preemption becomes a replacement for international law: Any president at any time in the future can decide to attack any country, provided only that he is satisfied that said country might at some point represent a direct threat to the United States.
Hold on there Leon! I seem to remember that Bush went to Congress last year and got the authority. And I really think Iraq presents more of a threat to us than say, Kosovo, which Bill Clinton bombed (not to mention the aspirin factory in the Sudan and the goats in Afghanistan). And you liberals are always citing international law. Do you realize that we are the only country that has ever asked permission from the UN to fight a war? Russia? Nope. China? Nope. France? Nope. The problem with international law is whenever we ask the rest of the world to enforce it like in freeing 52 diplomats held hostage in Iran, in direct violation of inter-fucking-national law the rest of the world essentially tells us, "tough luck".
Second, the United States will have established itself as the dominant force at the geographic core of a region that, in turn, exercises tremendous leverage over the rest of the globe through the oil market. As occupying power, the United States will unilaterally assume responsibility for decisions that will determine the future course of Iraq's oil and gas industries. We become in effect a virtual member of OPEC, and one of the most powerful at that. So immense military power will be united with an equally impressive form of economic power. No, this war is certainly not about oil. But the peace that follows it will be another matter.
I don't have a problem with that. Anyone have a problem with that? Let's see, whom do we want to control the world's oil? A nation of barbarians one generation removed from being wild savage tribes? Or a country that will pack up and go home after there are viable democracies (if possible) in the Middle East. See our previous actions in Japan and Germany.
The fact that we will have acted out of fear of terrorism in an impulse of self-protection does not change the essential nature of this event for much of the rest of the world. What matters is the answer to a single question: Does the United States consider itself bound by any international obligation if that obligation is seen as an impediment to its will?
No.
The Bush administration will have difficulty saying otherwise, in view of its pattern of unilateral action, established well before the present crisis.
I think he is referring to Kyoto, which would have crippled our economy. By the way, Leon, the Senate voted unaminously (that means even Dimocrats) against the treaty. Can't blame that on Bush. I'm sure he's also referring to the ABM treaty, which was with the Soviet Union, which no longer exists. And ABM didn't cover China or North Korea. And we all see how well North Korea honors agreements. And he's probably referring to ICC which is against our Constitution.
If war comes, we may be quickly victorious. (This was written March 20) And perhaps the president's sweeping vision of positive change throughout the Middle East will also come to pass. The more brilliant our success, however, the more deeply we will be feared.
And this is bad because...? The reason we had 9/11 is that bin Laden thought we were a nation of pansies, like that asshole Bill Clinton. We want the terrorists to fear us. If they fear us, maybe they won't fuck with us.
And the reason for that is not just the stunning demonstration of power in bringing it about but the fact that the government of the United States went out of its way to drive home one point: We are dominant, and dominant is as dominance does. That has its price.
Oh?
Americans -- whether they support or oppose war with Iraq -- need to realize the consequences of the status we may shortly assume. The beginning of empire is the end of commonwealth. We have already seen how that works in the failed bidding war the United States engaged in for the sake of support in the Security Council and from Turkey.
To have an empire we need to conquer people and maintain provinces. All of our possesions have been offered independence. I notice we don't have a province of Germany or a province of Japan. Once again, we ain't too good at this empire thing.
The irony is that all along the United States has had every right to resume military operations against Iraq under existing Security Council resolutions, because Saddam Hussein was patently in breach of his commitments. Instead, the administration chose to base its actions on an unlimited assertion of an American right to make war at will.
No, we told the UN that if they didn't enforce their resolutions we would. And if we would have waited for their permission you liberals would be screaming about how much money we were spending keeping all those troops in Iraq.
Whether or not we intend to be an empire,
We don't. It's only you fucking liberals who keep saying that we do.
we now present the aspect of one -- an appearance that has already contributed to the fracturing of our alliances by playing into the ambitions of those, such as the French and their followers, who believe their mission is to contain us.
Uh, Leon, have you not been paying attention? It is their mission. France is trying to resurrect its glory (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!), by dominating the EU. France has been trying to drive a wedge between us and England even before 9/11. You were Algore's national security advisor? You sure don't have much of a grasp of geopolitics do you?
The administration knows that it is responsible for the reconstruction of Iraq after this war is over. But it does not appear to realize that it also must find a way to reconstruct another collateral casualty: the notion that America is part of a community of nations.
There are over 40 nations that are on our side. Eastern Europe is on our side. England and Australia are on our side. Spain and Portugal are on our side. The Axis of Weasels (France, Germany, and Belgium), Russia and China are against us. A bunch of pissant countries in Africa are against us. Leon, you are witnessing a realignment of power. It occurs regularly in geopolitics. Unfortunately, you probably have not read much world history and you don't understand what's going on.
Put your head back in the sand and shut the fuck up.
The rest of us have work to do.
A while back I posted a Letter From France. Pierre took exception to what I wrote and posted the following comment.
Hi,
You guys are so funny,
someone does not agree with youm and suddenly it's terrible, treason, "send back the statue" oh boy, it's about time to grow.
You are defending democraty, by saying "you are with or you are an ennemy" what kind of bullshit is that?
do you know this sentence from Voltaire (sorry he was french) WHO SAID "I might not agree with you but I will defend your right to go against me to the death"
Meditate a bit on that before spitting out your ignorance of what a democraty is!
Bye,
Pierre
Dontcha just love to be lectured to by the French?
Pierre, you can say anything that you want in this country. I have that freedom also. For example, I can say that you are a dumb fucking asshole. I can also say that about my president. But, I hear in France, if you call Jackoff Chiraq a dumb fucking asshole, you can be fined. So tell me again which country has freedom of speech? And, dammit, if you're gonna quote Voltaire, at least get the quote right.
Many writers pay tribute to many great thinkers thus Voltaire is not the only philosopher that has contributed to freedom of the pen. For example John Stuart Mill made a historic and classic statement of freedom of speech and press in 1859 in his essay on Liberty. But, no one has been quoted more than Voltaire. "I disagree with everything you say, Voltaire wrote to Helevetius, " but I will fight to the death for your right to say it." This right represents our right to the greatest opportunity to learn the Truth.
I'm sorry. I cannot imagine any Frenchman fighting to the death for any principle. It's about as likely as Bill Clinton's pledge to fight and die for Israel. Shit. He wouldn't even fight for his own country. The only fighting he did, other than with Hillary, was fighting to avoid the draft. Fucking draft dodging asshole.
Someone else took exception to what Pierre wrote and pointed out that we are a constitutional republic not a 'democraty'. So PJ got into the act.
Sorry,
I don't understand the aim of your email.
How the fact that US is a constitutional republic changes anything? I know that you don't vote for your president but for grands electeurs (washington didn't trust the population?)
I don't have time to explain our Constitution, but in short, the electoral college was designed to prevent large states like Texas and California, from dominating small states like Rhode Island.
Your administration is still acting as a bully, and France say "hold on, think about the mess you are creating", nothing wrong about it. You could say that to someone in your family, right?.
We did not start this war, but we will finish it. Just get the fuck out of our way and quit being so annoying. And I wouldn't like a Frenchman in my family. Y'all seem to be allergic to soap.
Also, don't you find weird the multiple attack warning of dear Ashcroft, every time the population starts to get a rest?. I was in the US for few years, and I am not sorry to be back home, I felt that your society was getting over-securized to the point the civil liberties don't exist anymore.
One of the reasons he's doing this, is, if we are a victim of another 9/11 and we haven't been warned, the goddam leftists in this country, like Cynthia McKinney, will be screaming about why we didn't take any action. And we still have more civil liberties than any other country, including France, on this planet. And by golly, we're watching out for them. That's why I'm a Liberty Dog.
As a proof, see the reaction of the public simply because we disagree. i don't mind you have a different idea, that's quite healthy, so what do we have to kill each other because of that?
We don't mind you disagreeing. It's the fact that you are in our way and are against us. By your actions, you have allied yourself with Saddam Hussein. Your president, Jackoff Chiraq, is doing everything in his power to sabotage our war effort. Our president said that in the war on terror you are either with us or with the terrorists. You are with the terrorists. But what what else would I expect from a country full of cowards.
I like the US for many aspects, but being a superpower means also showing the example, and tha's quite difficult certainly.
Bye now,
PJ
And one of the examples we're showing is that if you fuck with us, you will die. And PJ, what would you think if this would happen? Thanks to Ralph Gizzup who sent me this image.
The bad thing about this is you wouldn't know whom to surrender to.
What the rest of the world, and many of our less intelligent and misguided citizens cannot get through their heads is that war was declared on us. It started with the first WTC bombing. It escalated with the embassy bombings and the USS Cole. We had a pussy for a president and just like Jimmah Carter all he could do was make empty threats. The only reason he sent off those cruise missiles to Afghanistan and Sudan was to distract us from Monica. We now have an actual leader (instead of a poll taker) as our president, and 9/11 was the last fucking straw.
And one more thing. Here is a major splatter alert. Put down anything you are drinking. Swallow. Now click on this link. Thanks to Kim du Toit for providing it. I gotta put this guy on my blogroll.
Talk to y'all tomorrow. Gotta go watch more of the war.
Atlanta's love for Jimmah Carter keeps going on and on. This artitcle was in Thursday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
IN ATLANTA: Carter honored on 'ironic night'
Concert celebrates Nobel Peace Prize as U.S. launches attack
How very fitting. Some excerpts:
On a night of war, Georgia celebrated a man of peace.
That's why 52 diplomats were held, in violation of international law (Where the fuck was the UN?) for 444 days in Iraq. The day a 'dumb cowboy' took office they were released. So much for this 'man of peace' bullshit.
Just as the United States launched its attack on Baghdad, friends of Jimmy Carter filled Atlanta Symphony Hall on Wednesday night to pay tribute to the man honored last year with the Nobel Peace Prize.
More like the Nobel Appeasement Award. Or more properly, the Poke a Stick in the United States' Eye Award. If Jimmah had had any class he would have told the Nobel people to stick the prize up their asses.
Carter acknowledged that "this was kind of an ironic night." From the stage, he reiterated a statement he made earlier in the day at the Carter Center.
I didn't realize Jimmah had such a gift for understatement.
''The Carter Center has done everything we could to find a peaceful resolution to the Iraq crisis and we were not successful,'' he said.
That's because Bill Clinton is not president.
''We support our troops and pray that the casualties for both our troops and innocent Iraqi civilians will be minimal. We are hoping for a quick resolution.''
I bet you do you sanctimonious sonuvabitch.
The hourlong celebration was Georgia's version of the Nobel Peace Prize Concert, which was held in Oslo, Norway, the night after Carter accepted the prize Dec. 10. The Atlanta event began at 8 p.m. --- precisely the deadline set by President Bush for Saddam Hussein to get out of Iraq.
How fitting.
"I don't think there is anything more peaceful than a smile, and he almost smiled his way into the presidency," former Atlanta Mayor Andrew Young said. Young served as Carter's ambassador to the United Nations.
And smiled his way into being perhaps the worst president in our history. I know I didn't do too much smiling during his presidency. And, certainly 52 people in Iran didn't smile too much either.
In awarding the Peace Prize in October, the Nobel committee recognized what it called Carter's "untiring effort" to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts and promote democracy and human rights in the two decades since he left the White House.
In places like North Korea, Cuba, and Zimbabwe.
Oh well, enough about Jimmy Carter. In today's AJC we had a letter from Don Bates of Canton, Georgia (12th one down).
By the time this letter is printed, thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians may be dead.
Along with the thousands of civilians we killed in Afghanistan.
It is truly a sad day for America when in our righteous anger over the Sept. 11 attacks, we exact vengeance on a country that has never attacked us. This war may satisfy the need for revenge felt by many, but it violates everything that has made America great, and it dishonors the memories of the Sept. 11 victims.
Don, this is not vengeance. This is going after terrorism. The only way to eliminate terrorism is by going after the states that sponsor and fund it.
War supporters: Please spare those of us opposed the patronizing and totally unfounded opinion that we are naive,
Unfortunately, you are.
uninformed
Ditto.
and unpatriotic.
Nope. You're just stupid.
This war is illegal,
Nope. Saddam is in violation of the cease fire he signed to end the first Gulf War. This is a continuation of that war. The UN won't enforce its resolutions. We will.
immoral
Tell that to the Iraqis that we are freeing. The ones we've liberated so far don't think it is immoral.
and completely unnecessary.
If this has prevented another 9/11 it is not unnecessary. But, I'll bet the pictures and stories of tortured Iraqis won't sway your self-righteousness.
Even if post-war Iraq becomes the rosy picture that President Bush has painted, the end does not justify the means.
So I guess you think the Civil War was a bad idea. How about WWII? How about the Revolutionary War? Does the end ever justify the means? Is war ever necessary? In your world, probably not.
As for me, I'm enjoying watching the precision bombing. It's time for me to have a Stoli on the rocks. Then I'll toss a salad, grill a steak, open a bottle of wine and watch the latest episode of Bombs Over Baghdad.
We had an incredibly beautiful day here in North Georgia. The temperature got up to 70. It has rained all week and today it cleared up. I've been in DB2 school all week, and, no, I still don't know if the project with the Axis of Weasels is a go. Anyway, I took off early and drove home in my Z3 with the top down. How sweet it is!
Dunwoody is beautiful this time of year. The tulip trees are just about done blooming, but the forsythia is in full bloom and so are the Bradford pear trees and the redbuds. The daffodils are up. Tulips soon and then dogwoods and azaleas. And, of course, the for sale signs. They seem to sprout up this time of year.
And aren't the fireworks displays in Baghdad fantastic? Maybe this war might be over in time for the Oscars. And speaking of the Oscars, I got this e-mail yesterday from Brett Rogers.
I read this today.
---------------------------------
The 4-month-old Hollywood anti-war group, Artists United To Win Without War,
is vowing to keep its activism going.
The Weekly has learned that Artists United will be distributing its own
lapel pin - a peace symbol inside a circle - to be worn at the Academy
Awards. Dustin Hoffman, Ben Affleck and Julianne Moore are among those
already committed to wear it.
"All of us support the soldiers so much we want them to come home," says one
of the spokesmen, actor Mike Farrell (M*A*S*H).
---------------------------------
When the Dixie Chicks stepped into the fray, they found that their public
didn't support them. You can't hear the Chicks on many radio stations today.
As a fellow blogger, would you mind encouraging people to avoid the Oscars?
Let's start a little campaign to support the troops by telling Hollywood
that we don't agree with their opinions. Let's boycott the Oscars and give
Hollywood an patriotic version of "shock and awe" at low ratings.
Brett Rogers
Works for me. And, the 'stars' are not gonna be making a grand red carpet entrance this year. It seems they don't want to be hypocritical (Huh? Since when?) by driving up in their big gas guzzling stretch limos.
I haven't watched the Oscars since I was a teenager. I used to watch them growing up since it was an excuse to stay up late. After I became an adult, I figgered it was a waste of time watching a bunch of self absorbed dipshits stage a lovefest for each other. I feel the same way about the Grammy's and the Emmy's. Frankly my dear, I don't give a fuck! And this year, I can watch the fireworks display over Baghdad, if Iraq hasn't surrendered yet.
My sister sent me a must read link. Y'know how all the big shot celebrities are always calling Bush dumb? Well this article compares the qualifications of Bush and his advisors to our brilliant celebrities. I'll let y'all read about Bush, Cheney, Powell, Condi, Ridge, and Rumsfeld. Here are the qualifications of their critics. My comments in italics.
Barbra Streisand: Completed high school
Career: Singing and acting
If you can call it acting
Cher: Dropped out of school in 9th grade.
Career: Singing and acting
A 9th grade education and she's calling Bush, who has an MBA, dumb?
Martin Sheen Flunked exam to enter University of Dayton.
Career: Acting
University of Dayton? He flunked the entrance exam? What an idiot! He thinks Bush is dumb?
Jessica Lange Dropped out college mid-freshman year.
Career: Acting
Never really thought much of her. Only movie I saw that she was in was Tootsie.
Alec Baldwin Dropped out of George Washington U. after scandal
Career: Acting
And other than hosting Saturday Night Live his career seems to be over.
Julia Roberts Completed high school
Career: Acting
At least can read the dictionary since she said that Republican was in there between repugnant and reptile. Specializes in marriage and divorce.
Sean Penn Completed High school
Career: Acting
Good at punching out photographers and conducting weapons inspections.
Susan Sarandon Degree in Drama from Catholic University of America
in Washington, D.C.
Career: Acting
Loved her in Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Ed Asner Completed High school
Career: Acting
Grant Tinker said about Ed Asner, "Unfortunately, Ed Asner has the image of Lou Grant and the brain of Ed Asner."
George Clooney Dropped out of University of Kentucky
Career: Acting
And being a phony fkwd.
Michael Moore Dropped out first year University of Michigan.
Career: Movie Director
And being a fat, phony, commie bastard.
Sarah Jessica Parker: Completed High School
Career: Acting
She has a brain?
Jennifer Anniston: Completed High School
Career: Acting
Ditto
Mike Farrell Completed High school
Career: Acting
Does he still have a career?
Janeane Garofelo Dropped out of College.
Career: Stand up comedienne
And failed actress
Larry Hagman Attended Bard College for one year.
Career: Acting
He's still alive?
So these are the rocket scientists who think Bush is dumb. And where's Woody Harrelson?
Oh well, blogging time is over. Time to go back to watching Bombs Over Baghdad.
One of the easiest things for me to write is a fax from Babs. The only thing easier is a Molly Ivins' fisk since they write themselves. The nice thing about the Babs' faxes is I don't have to worry about spelling, typos, grammar, or logic. In fact, if I have a little buzz on it's even better because that allows me to more effectively emulate Babs' thought processes. So, without further ado, here is another fax from Babs. And Rachel, this one's for you.
To: Mary Capture, A Member of the Home of Congressional Persons
From: Barbra Stresand
Dear Maggie,
I'm outraged at how you and that cute Pammie Murphy, the Senator from Oregon have been treated by those evil, mean spirited Republicans. Senator Murphy said that Osama been Latent was revered throughout the Muslim world for building day care centers. That sure is more than our government has done. If we could only elect Helen Clinton as president I know that she would create government day care centers.
And Meg, I heard that you compared Osamba to our founding fathers and took a lot of heat for that. Darn it! If we could only get a liberal radio network and a liberal television network, we could conteract all this venom spewed by Rush Limburger and all those other right wing lunatics.
I do think your colleague Jack Moron (I bet he had a rough childhood with a name like Moron) went a little too far. He said the Jews were running this war. Well, I know that's false. I'm a Jew and I have nothing to do with this war. No one has called me; not even my friends Tim Dashole, Dork Gotfart and Jim Looberman.
And while I'm on the subject of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, what about all those crazy people on the internet? I'm speaking of that annoying person, Rachel Lucas, who says all those bad things about me, George Looney, and Mickey Moore. You know Mickey don't you? He wrote that autobiography called Supid, Fat, White Man. Mickey and George are both incredibly rude. They both hung up on me. They are both very smart, though, especially Mickey. He told me on our phone call that we're going to wage an unlawful and unprovoked war on a country called Iraq. We are violating international law, and the entire world is going to hate us. And no one in this country wants this war. And Bush was selected, not elected. And Saddam Hussein is more popular than Bush. And the Pope says this war is a sin. And even the Dixie Chicks think this war is wrong and since they're from Texas they're ignorant redneck broads and probably voted for Bush but now they're against him. What is wrong with this country? We should be more like our good friends, the French. I couldn't agree more.
And speaking of the Ditzie Chicks, that brings up what that horrible Rachel Lucas did to Carol Crow. She made fun of something on her internet site.
She didn't like that Chelsea used the word pathos. I wondered about that myself. Wasn't Pathos one of the three musketeers? And there was also Aramis. He was named after the perfume. And Atlas and Dart Canyon. Wait a minute! That was four. Why are they the three musketeers when there were four of them?
Oh well, back to the war. What does Oldsam have to do with Sodomy Hussein? I think the real reason we're fighting this war is to destroy everything in Arock so Bush can give contracts to his buddies in the construction business. It's not all about oil after all.
Anyway, Marti, I am behind you 100% and I respect your right to freedom of speech. You'll have to come see me the next time you're in California.
Gotta go. I have to go pick out the gown I'm going to wear to the Oscars.
Luv ya,
Babs
A while back, the editorial staff of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation did a piece where they introduced all the editorial writers and had little mini profiles. I did a blog on it called Meet the Staff. Martha Ezzard, one of the writers on the editorial staff, described herself thusly:
"Have been in both parties, not crazy about either. Was a republican legislator, ran for 1986 U.S. Senate nomination in Colorado. Resigned my seat and switched parties in 1987. My support of reproductive choice and strong environmental policies were the big reason."
So she's a pro-abortion, environmentalist wacko liberal. Her column in Tuesday's AJC is proof of that.
Last week in Steamboat Springs, Colo., I saw a guy in a cowboy hat flying down a ski slope he shouldn't have been on --- an unskilled skier on an expert run. Blind to steep moguls and heedless of the frantic cries of other skiers in his path, he reminded me of George W. Bush, our cowboy president.
Yep. Gotta get that "Bush is a cowboy" thing in. Let's see, our last cowboy president, Ronald Reagan, only won the Cold War. I'm thinkin' that cowboy is a good thing.
If Bush had half the coalition-building skills of his father or a smidgen of British Prime Minister Tony Blair's ability to articulate policy --- including fairness to the Palestinian people --- he might have avoided painting himself into the war-or-bust corner.
Oh yeah. Gotta get that "fairness to the Palestinian people" in there. That's a rant all to itself. Hey Martha, who walked away from the most generous deal the Palestinians will ever get? Arafat made no counter offer, he just left, emptied the Palestinian jails of terrorists and started the latest cycle of violence. And didja ever think that Bush might have been planning this war all along? Oh, that's right. Bush is a moron. I forgot.
Bush fails to understand that superior military and economic might by themselves do not cause the nations of the world to side with America. Instant global communications make ideas more powerful than ever. In the United Nations Security Council, for example, Chile's proposal for disarming Iraq made more sense to much of the world than did the American proposition.
GMAFB! Chile? What liberals like Martha don't seem to understand is the only reason Saddam has cooperated as much as he has is because of the trrops in Kuwait. This war was inevitable. And Martha, in case you haven't noticed, the rest of the world is pretty much against us anyway. They hate us, but they sure would like to live here. Wonder why?
Chile's proposal, similar in its specificity and timetable to one offered by Blair, would surely have been the starting point for an American president more skilled in diplomacy.
Like, perhaps, Bill Clinton?
The failure to define "total and unconditional disarmament" in Resolution 1441 is responsible for many nations' wanting a second U.N. resolution --- discounting France, which has completely lost credibility.
Ah, the blind pig finding the acorn or a stopped clock being right twice a day, every now and then, a liberal has to get sumpin' right.
I hoped in vain that Bush would utter a few new lines at the press conference following his Azores summit with leaders of his shrinking "coalition of the willing." I hoped in vain he would find a way in his address to the nation to offer a last-minute plan that might rally other major powers to the U.S. position, that might rise above his arrogant penchant for ultimatums.
Like what? Giving Saddam another 12 years to disarm? Keeping our troops in the desert for another year? That would give liberals like Martha sumpin' else to gripe about: How much it's costing to keep our troops over there and how it has "squandered the Clinton surplus".
Am I also hoping in vain that the United States will adopt a Middle East policy sensitive to all the oppressed people of the region, including the Palestinians?
Maybe if the Palestinians would quit exploding sumpin' could be worked out. Let me point out once again that it was Arafat who walked away from the peace negotiations and started the current violence. We have tried to restart talks but them damn Palestinians just keep exploding. Living up to Oslo and removing the clause in the PLO charter that calls for the destruction of Israel might be a start. And prior to the current uprising, we were leaning real hard on Israel to make concessions. Did we ever do the same to the Palestinians? The Palestinians, in putting more efforts into the destruction of Israel than in living peacefully in their own state have pretty much brought the oppression upon themselves. I'm sorry, but my pity meter doesn't seem to work anymore.
And that Bush will keep his promise that Iraq's oil will belong to Iraq's people? (Crassly, the White House has asked for contract proposals for rebuilding Iraq --- whatever that means --- from several companies, including Halliburton. Could it be that Vice President Dick Cheney's former company, now being investigated by the Securities and Exchange Commission, will benefit from this war?)
Martha! Have you been talking to Cynthia McKinney? Damn! She found out.
It isn't about oil after all. It's about construction contracts. We're gonna destroy Iraq so we can have American companies rebuild it.
Bush's instincts, like those of a novice skier, are not all wrong, of course: One way or another, you have to finish the run. One way or another, the world must be rid of weapons of mass destruction in the hands of rogue regimes and terrorists --- though the two are not always connected as the president so disingenuously asserts. But Bush has botched the battle for world opinion as surely as he has muffed coalition building. He has split America's allies, old and new, instead of bringing them together.
So we have to wait for permission from France, Germany and Chile? The world is realigning Martha. France and Germany ceased to be allies quite some time ago. But the countries in Eastern Europe, grateful to us for defeating the Soviet Union in the Cold War and freeing them, are now our allies. And we were attacked on 9/11. I don't really give a shit about world opinion. The international community did not help us when 52 diplomats, in violation of international law, were taken hostage in Iran. And your hero, Jimmah Carter, was powerless to do anything about it. It wasn't until a "cowboy president" took office that the hostages were freed. Perhaps they thought that Reagan had a spine.
Even when it comes to the cost of war, he has refused to level with the American people or Congress.
That's because he doesn't know. It depends on how long the war lasts. And the longer troops sit over there doing nothing, the more expensive the war will be and the more you'll bitch about the cost. Speaking of the cost...
Yale University economist William Nordhaus recently estimated the Iraq war could cost $20,000 per household over the next 10 years.
How much is security worth?
More damaging in the long term than the staggering cost America will shoulder is Bush's squandering of the store of international goodwill built by presidents of both parties ever since the days of Woodrow Wilson.
GMAFB! The only international good will we have is because we had to save the world three times, WWI, WWII, and the Cold War. Even with that, and all the foreign aid we've given to the world, not to mention 24% of the UN budget, most of the world hates us.
Brady Kiesling, the diplomat who recently resigned from the foreign service after 20 years, bemoaned Bush's dismantling of "the most effective web of international relationships the world has ever known."
What a crock of shit!
In a letter to Secretary of State Colin Powell, Kiesling, who served in the Middle East, Armenia and Greece, wrote: "Until this administration, it had been possible to believe that by upholding the policies of my president I was also upholding the interests of the American people and the world. I believe it no longer."
Good! I'm glad you resigned. Don't let the door hit you in the ass, you worthless prick!
Sadly, for the first time in my life, neither do I.
And sadly, not for the first time in my life, I think Martha is full of shit.
Not much time to post tonight. I had a Sommelier Guild of Atlanta dinner and wine tasting that was fantastic! As a result, it's 11:30 and I'm half in the bag.
If y'all remember, two nights ago I came out against Jimmah Carter spouting off and criticizing the President on his foreign policy, especially in light of Jimmah's failures at foreign policy when he was president. Well, Jimmah just won't shut the fuck up. As Reagan said in the debates in the 1980 presidential race, "There you go again."
Former President Jimmy Carter said Monday he was "disappointed" that a weekend summit between President Bush and the leaders of Spain and Britain failed to yield a diplomatic solution to the crisis in Iraq.
"Unfortunately, we are at the beginning of a completely unnecessary war that should have and could have been prevented," Carter told participants at a forum on money and politics in the Americas.
I'm sorry, I really cannot express in words how I feel about this classless sonuvabitch. Maybe if I were sober I could come up with sumpin' to say. I am disgusted. I'm sorry Jimmy Carter is from Georgia. Isn't this like Herbert Hoover saying about FDR that this is a war that could have been prevented? Maybe I need some more to drink.
Just so you won't think your trip to this site was a complete waste, here is a picture that someone sent me. If I knew who created it, I would give credit where credit is due.
Ring. Ring.
Mikey: Hello
Babs: Hello, is this Mickey Moore?
Mikey: Michael.
Babs: Mickey Michaels?
Mikey: No! Michael Moore!
Babs: Yeah. That's what I meant. Didn't you make a movie called Robert and Me?
Mikey: Roger.
Babs: Robert and Roger?
Mikey: No, Roger and Me.
Babs: Was Roger, like, a friend of yours?
Mikey: No, Roger was Roger Smith, the CEO of General Motors. The movie was about General Motors closing down a plant in Flint Michigan and putting a lot of people out of work.
Babs: So how come you didn't call it General Motors and Flint?
Mikey: Who is this?
Babs: I'm Barbra Streisand. I've made a few movies myself. I've even directed a few. My husband Jim gave me a copy of your book, Stupid Fat Man.
Mikey: White.
Babs: Stupid, Fat, White Man?
Mikey: No! Stupid White Man, I mean Stupid White Men.
Babs: But your picture is right on the front of the book and you're white and you're fat. I thought the book was an autobiography.
Mikey: No! The book is about all the stupid white men who have been running this country.
Babs: You don't have to yell. I'm not stupid you know. I have my own web site. Didn't you just make another movie?
Mikey: Yes. Bowling for Columbine.
Babs: Bowling for Columbia?
Mikey: No! Columbine. It was about the killings at Columbine High School.
Babs: But I thought they used guns. What does bowling have to do with it? Did they throw bowling balls at them?
Mikey: Look. we're getting nowhere here. Why did you call me?
Babs: I wanted to talk about the upcoming war on a rock. I know Bush is not too bright, but how dumb does he think the American people are if he thinks we can wage war on a rock? I mean how do you wage war on a rock? What's next? Waging war on a pebble? Waging war on a grain of sand?
Mikey: We're going to wage an unlawful and unprovoked war on a country called Iraq. We are violating international law, and the entire world is going to hate us. And no one in this country wants this war. And Bush was selected, not elected. And Saddam Hussein is more popular than Bush. And the Pope says this war is a sin. And even the Dixie Chicks think this war is wrong and since they're from Texas they're ignorant redneck broads and probably voted for Bush but now they're against him. What is wrong with this country? We should be more like our good friends, the French.
Babs: That's funny. They named a country after a rock?
Mikey: No you incredibly stupid bitch! The country is Iraq. It is spelled Eye Are Ay Que. Iraq! You have to be one of the dumbest people I have ever talked to.
Babs: Listen Mickey, you stupid, fat, white man. I am Barbra Streisand and I'm an international star. I've slept in the Albert Lincoln bedroom in the White House. I might have to call the real President of the United States and tell him you insulted me.
Mikey: That's Michael, you bitch! And go ahead!
Click.
Babs: I'll show him.
Ring. Ring.
Martin Sheen: Hello.
Babs: Hello. President Bartlett?
Click.
Babs: Hello? Hello?
One of the bad things about living in Atlanta is that the local newspaper, the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation loves Jimmah Carter. The lovefest when he won the Nobel Appeasement Prize was disgusting. And of course, everytime he opens his mouth, the paper dutifully publishes his bullshit. In Saturday's paper, they published excerpts from an interview with him.
Before I get to that here is one of the letters to the editor in today's AJC:
When President Carter was struggling to handle the Iranian hostage crisis, former Presidents Nixon and Ford had the grace and dignity to stay out of foreign affairs. Carter's interference in these matters hurts our president, our troops and our nation.
I used to admire Carter as a great humanitarian. Now he is friends with some of the most evil dictators in our world. Why isn't he speaking up about the mistreatment of the Iraqi people? I want to hear Carter speak out, not for the dictators, but for the oppressed.
TRACEY DAVENPORT
Exactly! And when Bill Clinton was president, we didn't hear Bush senior criticizing his foreign policy. But Bill Clinton and Jimmah Carter will not have the class and dignity to shut the fuck up! Jimmah talking about foreign policy is like Ted Kennedy talking about safe driving.
On to the interview.
Q: The planned summit on Sunday has given you hope that a peaceful solution to the Iraq crisis can still be achieved. Why?
A: It does give me hope. So does the fact that Hans Blix will make a statement of requirements Monday or Tuesday. And then there also are the news reports indicating the French may be flexible on a deadline. All of these things put together show that a peaceful solution is possible.
GOC: Is Jimmah clueless or what? Hans Blix? This asshole couldn't find his ass with his hands. And he's not been completely forthcoming with his reports. He's another one of the 'peace at any cost' dipshits. And the 'French may be flexible on a deadline'? Jimmah, did you just wake up? The French have said they'd veto any resolution authorizing the use of force. What good would a deadline do?
Q: Do you think the three leaders can come up with a resolution they can sell to the Security Council?
A: I think so. If Blix's list of requirements is quite compatible with those that the British have put forward, then that would resolve one aspect of the issue, that aspect being the resolution's language.
GOC: Wrong again Jimmah. It looks like when Bush said March 17 last week he really meant it. How refreshing to hear a president give a deadline and really mean it.
Q: Would the major sticking point then be the deadline given to Iraq to comply?
A: I think President Bush, contrary to his own statements, has been willing to be remarkably flexible in dealing with the ideas put forth by the British. [Britain has expressed a willingness to extend the March 17 deadline originally proposed for Iraqi compliance.] I've been encouraged in recent days by America's willingness to accommodate the needs that have been made clear regarding the prime minister's challenges in Great Britain.
GOC: Whoops Jimmah! Bush is not a wuss like you and Clinton. He said deadline and he meant it. The time for talk is over.
Q: Do you feel President Bush --- having ordered 250,000 troops to the region --- has backed himself into something of a corner so that force will have to be used?
A: The overall progress that's been made has been predicated on the fact that the massive troops are there. If their presence can accomplish all the goals of Resolution 1441, then without massive loss of life our ambitions and goals will have been achieved. I think the troops have been crucial. We wouldn't have made any substantial progress without the troops being there.
GOC: Duh! But if Jimmah had been president, the troops would not even be there.
Q: Has it surprised you that it's been so difficult to persuade the six undecided council members to support the U.S. position?
A: There's no doubt that France has used its maximum influence in Africa among the countries there. The French have had long and historic relationships with these countries. There's no doubt that when these countries need political support or financial support they feel much more inclined to go to Paris than to go to Washington. This has given France surprising influence --- surprising to Americans, that is.
GOC: So, when those countries come to us begging for money, I hope we tell 'em to go to France.
Q: The French have said they will not support any resolution that issues an ultimatum. What kind of resolution might they support?
A: If the requirements and the date can evolve through close contact with Blix, then that will remove the stigma of it being an ultimatum. But it would accomplish the same purpose. It's important that the U.N. has called on Blix to make this statement, and I understand that that will be done Monday or
Tuesday.
GOC: Jimmah's clue meter is still pegged at zero. The French will never support military action. So I say, fuck the French!
Q: How would you rate President Bush's handling of the Iraq crisis?
A: I think that if the prospects in my statement are accomplished, I would consider this a notable diplomatic victory. It would be a victory for us, for the United Nations and for the world.
GOC: GMAFB! There will be no diplomatic victory. There will, however, be a miltary victory.
Q: So you don't believe critics who say President Bush plans to go to war no matter what happens at the U.N.?
A: If that had been true, then we would have gone to war long before this, in my opinion. President Bush has repeatedly said, including at his press conference last week, that he was hoping and praying for a peaceful solution.
GOC: But every day we keep the troops over there, the more it costs us. And the weather will just get worse. Saddam will have more time to prepare. I think Bush realizes that with France as our de facto enemy, there is no diplomatic solution.
It's time to 'Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war'.
(And, Babs, that's Mark Antony after Caesar's death from the play Julius Caesar. You can look it up. I did.)
And, Captain Steve's latest From the Sandbox over at Kim du Toit is a nice fisk of a Kofi Anon speech. Good job, Captain Steve!
I wasn't gonna write anything today, but I got the following comment on my post
Various Quotes About France.
There are not only French who are against war but a big part of the population of the world including americans (from U.S.A.)
You make some critics about Frenchmen but we (Yes I am French) never make critic about U.S. habitants but about your governement.
And try to remember that the Statue of Liberty that foreigners can see in New York is a gift of France. If you don't want it, send us back ;)
OK. Let's examine what he said.
big part of the population of the world
I don't give a fuck if every nation on the planet is against the war. Listen Froggy, France was not attacked by terrorists, we were. We know Iraq sponsors terrorism. We know Saddam is working on weapons of mass destruction, and we know if he has them, he will blackmail the entire Middle East. We also know that given the chance, he would use them on us. We don't want to make the same mistake with Saddam that you assholes made with Hitler, which, if I remember, we had to kick out of France. Do you speak German? No? You're welcome. (Tom DeLay)
including americans (from U.S.A.)
You're right on the money there, but current polls show the majority of Americans (from U.S.A.) support the war.
You make some critics about Frenchmen but we (Yes I am French) never make critic about U.S. habitants but about your governement.
Oh bullshit. We Americans are 'cowboys'. We are 'barbarians'. We have 'no culture'. You French constantly criticize Americans. And I've been to Paris and the Parisians are incredibly rude to Americans, but then, they're incredibly rude to everyone. And now, it's gotten worse. You French are now calling American tourists pigs and spitting on them. So fuck you Froggy, you French have disliked us ever since we had to throw the Germans out of your country in World War II, just like we had to throw the Germans out of your country in World War I. Sure you helped us in the Revolutionary War, but a damn sight more Americans died saving your worthless asses in two world wars than French died in our Revolutionary War. Go visit Omaho Beach.
And try to remember that the Statue of Liberty that foreigners can see in New York is a gift of France. If you don't want it, send us back ;)
And try to remember that all those graves in Normandy are for brave Americans who died in France freeing your sorry asses from the Germans. And try to remember that it was the United States who protected your country from the Soviets during the Cold War. Since that bastard De Gaulle pulled the French military out of NATO, you didn't even help us. You are a nation of ungrateful assholes.
If you don't want to help us in the war on Iraq, just stay neutral. But, no, you have allied yourself with Iraq. Jackoff Chiraq has made it perfectly clear that he will veto any resolution that authorizes war against Iraq. So in our eyes, you have now become our enemy. I think we're gonna find that you French have been selling Saddam materials for WMD's on the sly. Bastards!
But, we are a nation of good guys, and if you get in trouble again, which is inevitable, and cry for help, guess who will come to your aid? Yep. It will be us. We'll save you and you'll hate us for it.
Oh, and I heard another French joke.
It seems that fireworks displays have been banned at the Disney World near Paris. When the fireworks went off too many French soldiers were looking for someone to surrender to.
Oh and as long as it seems to be bash the French day, Chris Johnson does a nice fisk of an article by one Olivier Dassault.
Natalie Maines, the fat Dixie Chick, mouthed off in London the other night about George Bush. "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas", said the porker. Natalie, just so you know, I'm ashamed that you're from the United States. Didn't your daddy, Lloyd, teach you any better manners than that? Maybe instead of ol' Earl slappin' Wanda around he should have been slappin' some sense into your empty head before he ate them blackeyed peas and was dumped in the lake.
Trying to dig themselves out of a hole the Chicks posted the following on their website:
We've been overseas for several weeks and have been reading and following the news accounts of our government's position," the group explains. "The anti-American sentiment that has unfolded here is astounding. While we support our troops, there is nothing more frightening than the notion of going to war with Iraq and the prospect of all the innocent lives that will be lost."
And there is nothing more frightening than listening to an airhead expound on foreign policy. Barbra Streisand meet Natalie Maines. Natalie, Barbra. Now go away and leave us alone and shut the fuck up!
Maines also says, "I feel the President is ignoring the opinions of many in the U.S. and alienating the rest of the world. My comments were made in frustration and one of the privileges of being an American is you are free to voice your own point of view."
And one of the privileges of being an American is I can voice my point of view and that is that you are an airhead. Natalie, remember that map that showed who voted for Bush and who voted for Gore in the 2000 election? Remember the red area? Those are the people who voted for Bush. Those are also the people who are more likely to listen to country music and be your biggest fans. You just pissed a whole big bunch of 'em off.
Kansas City radio stations dump Dixie Chicks.
Angry phone calls flooded Nashville radio station WKDF-FM on Thursday, some calling for a boycott of the Texas trio's music.
I'll tell you what Charlie Daniels thinks of the Hollywood dipshits that Natalie is starting to sound like.
Why you bunch of pitiful, hypocritical, idiotic, spoiled mugwumps.
get your head out of the sand and smell the Trade Towers burning.
Do you think that a trip to Iraq by Sean Penn did anything but encourage
a wanton murderer to think that the people of the U.S.A. didn’t have the
nerve or the guts to fight him?
Barbra Streisand’s fanatical and hateful rantings about George Bush
makes about as much sense as Michael Jackson hanging a baby over a
railing.
And.
You people need to get out of Hollywood once in a while and get out into
the real world. You’d be surprised at the hostility you would find out
here.
Stop in at a truck stop and tell an overworked, long distance truck
driver that you don’t think Saddam Hussein is doing anything wrong.
Yeah, Natalie, spout that shit to a truck driver and see what he now thinks of you and the other two Chicks.
Tell a farmer with a couple of sons in the military that you think the
United States has no right to defend itself.
Very well stated Charlie.
And now we come to Zell Miller. I didn't vote for Zell Miller when he was elected to Lt. Governor and then Governor of Georgia. I don't vote for Dimocrats. The first time I ever voted for a Dimocrat was in last year's primary when I voted for Denise Majette to do my part to defeat Cynthia McKinney. But I tell you what. I would vote for Zell right now.
Zell Miller is our senior senator from Georgia. He has been asked many times to switch parties but he says he has been a Dimocrat all his life and is not about to change now. The fact that he is a Dimocrat has not stopped him from voting with the Republicans on tax cuts and other matters. I'm just upset that he will not run for reelection, 'cause I would surely vote for him. He says he doesn't want to run again because of the partisanship and the uncontrolled spending.
Zell got up on the floor of the Senate the other day and said the following:(Thanks to Richard for sending me this)
"Mr. President, I have signed on as an original co-sponsor of the Iraq
resolution, and I'd like to tell you a story about why I think it is the
right path to take:
A few weeks ago, we were doing some work on my back porch back home, tearing out a section of old stacked rocks, when all of a sudden I uncovered a nest of copperhead snakes.
Now, I'm not one to get alarmed at snakes. I know they perform some
useful functions, like eating rats. And when I was a young lad, I kept
snakes as pets. I had an indigo snake, a bull snake, a corn snake and
many others. I must have had a dozen king snakes at one time or another. They make great pets and you only had to feed them a mouse every 30 days.
I read all the books by Raymond C. Ditmars, who was the foremost
herpetologist of his day. That's an expert on snakes. For a while, I
wanted to be a herpetologist, but the pull of being a big-league shortstop
outran that childhood dream.
I reminisce this way to explain that snakes don't scare me like they do
some people. And I guess the reason is that I know the difference between those that are harmless and those that will kill you.
In fact, I bet I may be the only senator in this body who can look at the
last three inches of a snake's tail and tell you whether it's poisonous or
not. I can also tell the sex of a snake, but that's another story.
A copperhead will kill you. It could kill one of my dogs. It could kill
one of my grandchildren. It could kill any of my four great grandchildren.
They play all the time where I found these killers.
And you know, when I discovered these copperheads, I didn't call my wife
Shirley and ask her advice, like I do on most things. I didn't yell for
help from my neighbors or take it to the city council. I just took a hoe
and knocked them in the head and killed them. Dead as a doorknob.
I guess you could call it a unilateral action. Or pre-emptive or even
bellicose and reactive.
I took their poisonous heads off because they were a threat to me. And they
were a threat to my home and my family. They were a threat to all I hold
dear.
And isn't that what this is all about?"
Yup! That's what it is all about.
Charlie and Zell get it.
Natalie doesn't.
To: MSNBC
From: Barbra Streisand
I must express my dismay that you cancelled the Paul Donahue Show. How could you people do that? What were you thinking? Since the media is predominantly conservative we need all the mainstream voices in the media that we can find. Paul was one of those people. And, I just adore his wife, Margo.
Jim and I used to watch Paul every night, except when he would have on Nazis like that loudmouth talkshow host from Atlanta, Neil Bartz. And what is going on with that turncoat Dennis Mueller? How can he be from Hollywood and support that selected, not elected, president Jeb W. Bush?
And now I hear that you are giving that terrible lunatic, Michael Brute his own talk show. What is going on? I thought MSNBC was going to go up against that rabid right wing Fox Network. Fox has people on it like Bob O'Reilly who is a raving, rightwing monster? No spin zone my tush! I am outraged!
I'm so glad that we are finally going to have a liberal radio network. I think that Al Franklin will be an excellent talk show host. I think this is an idea whose time has come.
Let me make some suggestions for MSNBC. These are the people you should hire:
Paul Donahue - You did not give him enough time to develop a good following.
Bill Clinton - No one knows more about domestic affairs than Bill.
Robert Nader - No one knows more about consumer affairs than Robert.
Jimmy Carter - No one knows more about foreign policy than Jimmy Carter and he has a Noble Peace Prize to prove it.
Eleanor Smile and Gloria Steinburg - The feminist point of view.
Al what's-his-name, the guy who really won the election - No one knows more than Al about the environment, except maybe me since I give a lot of money to environmental organizations.
Mike Farrell - He's not doing anything right now and probably needs a job.
These are just a few of my suggestions that would help MSNBC rise in the ratings. I've got lots more so give me a call and I'll fax them over to you.
Gotta go. Jim and I are gonna watch that cute Connie Chang.
Luv ya,
Babs
Dear President Bush,
Can we just get it on already? First I thought we were gonna go the end of January. Then I thought the end of February. Then we had a deadline of March 17th. And now you're wavering again. Look, I know you're trying to give Tony Blair some cover with this latest UN thing but you're not gonna get the votes.
Every day you delay, the hate America, peace at any cost assholes (most of the Dimocrat Party) gain more momentum.
Every day you delay, you give Saddam more time to prepare for war. Because of the delays just this year you've given him time to set explosive charges on his oil wells.
Every day you delay, you give the international America haters more momentum. A month ago, Tony Blair had the support of the people of Great Britain. No longer. For the good of our relationship it's time to thank Tony for his ongoing support, and let him know that we'll go it alone.
Every day you delay, it increases our costs for this war.
Every day you delay, the weather gets worse.
Every day you delay, you will get more grumbling from our military which is anxiously waiting for the war to start. I was in Viet Nam. I remember how pissed off we were that the politicians would not let us win the war. Believe me, there are lots of soldiers, sailors, marines, and airedales who are chaffing at the bit and bitching about how the politicians are gonna fuck up this war. Turn 'em loose! Let's get it on!
It's time to put the cards on the table and call for a vote.
Tell France that if they vote no or veto, the new gummint of Iraq will sign no trade deals with them. That includes oil contracts. Look Jackoff Chiraq right in the eye and say "You fucked with us, Froggy, and now you're fucked. You're with us, or against us. Blow me!"
Call up Putin and tell him, "Vlad, baby, you can kiss the $8 billion that Iraq owes you goodbye. You're with us or against us. Your choice."
Call up Schroeder and tell him, "Gerhard, you Kraut bastard, we're closing down all of our military installations and moving them to the Eastern European countries that actually like us and are real allies, you scheisskopf!"
To the African nations: "Remember that $15 billion I promised you for AIDS? Fuck off! You bastards can just go ahead and die. "
To Mexico: "Do you really want to fuck with us, Vinnie? Don't ask us for anything ever again you backstabbing sonuvabitch!"
To Chile: "Ditto."
To China: "I hear you've signed some trade agreements with Iraq, including some oil agreements. Forget about 'em."
To the rest of the world: "Do you want to be our friends or our enemies? You come to us begging for money and when we want sumpin' from you, you tell us to go to hell. Dammit I'm sick of this shit!"
Mr. President, most of the world is jealous of us, they hate us, and they want us to fail. It's time to tell them that if they want sumpin' from us, we want sumpin' in return.
It's time for us to get out of the United Nations and take our dues, which provides 23% of the UN's budget, and use it for something other than financing a worthless body whose main purpose is to be Anti-American. I'm sick of it, and I'm sure that there are a lot of Americans who feel the same way that I do.
I'm sick of waiting.
Let's get it on!
Let's roll!
Brian, quit reading right now. This post will offend you.
Hey Martin Dodge. You are a fkwad. You are a lowlife scum. You have pissed me off. You have fucked with me and a friend of mine and I do not have to and I will not put up with that bullshit. As Toren Smith said, you are a cockroach, and "cockroaches can't stand the light". I'm sorry Toren, but you have insulted cockroaches.
Martin, you are lower than the French. You make Jackoff Chirac appear honorable. You are lower than Saddam Hussein and Yassir Arafat. You are lower than Tommie Dasshole and Chuck Putzhead Schumer. Ya want to talk about low? You're lower and slimier that Bill and Hillary Clinton. You make Michael Moore appear honorable. You are a dickhead!
If you were a bird, you'd fly backwards. If your brains were TNT you wouldn't have enough to blow your fucking nose. You can't even be a booger eatin' moh-ron 'cause if you picked your nose your fucking brain would fall out. You can't even get drunk as you advised me to do, 'cause if you drank any alcohol, it would kill the one brain cell that you have remaining.
Am I pissed? You bet your fucking ass I'm pissed! Not only are you a lowlife dipshit, but you're also a fucking coward. If you want to insult me, go ahead, but don't post someone else's e-mail address you cowardly piece of shit! I'd offer to have a battle of wits with you but my father told me it was not nice to fight with an unarmed man.
You want a piece of me? Bring it on! Rachel had some good ideas, I got some better ones. Howza 'bout I heat up one of my crutches and ram it right up your sorry ass? How would you think that would feel, you sorry piece of shit? Rather than having your testicles fall off due to crotch rot why don't we just put them in a vise? Yeah! That's the ticket. I'd love to hear a cowardly fuck like you scream in pain. Make my fucking day!
Pissed? You bet I'm pissed. When I found out how you fucked with me it pissed me off so much that I had to postpone a perfectly good rant about Barbra Streisand. Do you have any idea how much that pisses me off? I mean passing up a perfectly good opportunity to make fun of Babs because a dickwad like you ruined my day really pisses me off.
I now know that your name is Martin Dodge and anyone who would like to tell you what they think of you can click on your name and express his (or her) opinion. Also, any bloggers with IP banning capability may want to ban his IP address which is: 192.31.106.34
And Martin, if you have a problem with this, bite me you sick fuck!
One of the nicest thing about doing this blog is the mail I get. I recently got the following letter from a Captain in the Air Force.
Good work. Just found your web site via RachelLucas.com. You folks do a
great job letting those of us out here know that we're supported back home.
Thanks.
We fly sorties day and night supporting the President's war on terror, and
we're proud to do it.
I left his name off since I wasn't sure if he would have wanted me to print it. Having been in the military myself, I know what these guys go through. They are separated from their families for long periods of time. They don't get paid worth a damn. And, if they fight an unpopular war, like Viet Nam, they're called baby killers and are spit upon when they come home. To some members of our society, all wars are unjust, and we're seeing demonstrations right now where we're hearing all the old Viet Nam bullshit recycled. Captain, you won't hear that here. I'm behind you 100%. Give 'em hell!
And now, some hate mail. Finally! This wasn't actually mail but a comment posted on Who is Antonio Gramschi? which I wrote back in October, but he commented on it today. Martin Dodge wrote:
Yes, you really ARE grouchy. And I assume the cripple part refers to your intelligence, your inability to love, and your inability to see the good things in life and your fellow human beings. Go get drunk and get laid. Maybe you will have an epiphany. Maybe you will get a life.
Look that word up, redneck cracker!
Thanks Martin, you cowardly, lowlife asshole! Martin, you douchebag, I'll get drunk but I can't get laid because I have this inability to love and golly I am just this dumb ol' redneck cracker and I think I'll just put on my white sheet and hop in my wheelchair and go out and wave my Confederate flag and see if I can find some black folks to run down. Yeee hawww!
But, if you would have read more of my stuff, you would know that I am a T12/L1 incomplete paraplegic. I grew up outside of St. Louis Missouri in a town called Webster Groves. People from St. Louis could tell you that the crackers don't live in Webster Groves, but in Fenton and Valley Park, and in St. Louis we called them hoosiers.
I believe in equal opportunity for all. The only limits in this country are the limits that people place upon themselves. I hate RWPP's (Race Warlord Poverty Pimps), like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, because they think black people are too stupid to make it on their own and that is what they preach. That is disgusting! I went to integrated schools back in the 60's and I can attest that my black schoolmates were every bit as intelligent as the whites, but that was before black 'leaders' were telling them they were dumb.
I hate socialists like Hillary Clinton and Ted Kennedy, because they will destroy this country. Socialism has never worked anywhere it's been tried.
Oh well, enough of that. Today was another beautiful day in Georgia. And a reader sent me this inspirational story. I do not know if it is true or not. I hope it is.
What a GREAT story......following is a copy of the story about a Viet
Nam vet and Ann Margaret as told by the vet's wife.
Richard, (my husband), never really talked a lot about his time in Viet
Nam other than he had been shot by a sniper.
However, he had a rather grainy, 8 x 10 black & white photo he had taken
at a USO show of Ann Margaret with Bob Hope in the background that was one
of his treasures.
A few years ago, Ann Margaret was doing a book signing at a local
bookstore. Richard wanted to see if he could get her to sign the
treasured photo so he arrived at the bookstore at 12 o'clock for the
7:30 signing.
When I got there after work, the line went all the way around the
bookstore, circled the parking lot, and disappeared behind a parking
garage. Before her appearance, bookstore, employees announced that she
would sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted.
Richard was disappointed, but wanted to show her the photo and let her
know how much those shows meant to lonely GI's so far from home.
Ann Margaret came out looking as beautiful as ever and as 2nd in line, it
was soon Richard's turn. He presented the book for her signature and then
took out the photo. When he did, there were many shouts from the employees
that she would not sign it. Richard said, "I understand. I just wanted her
to see it".
She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she
said, "This is one of my gentlemen from Viet Nam and I most certainly
will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and I
always have time for "my gentlemen". With that, she pulled Richard
across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite a
to-do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years, how
much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them. There weren't
too many dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then posed for
pictures and acted as if he was the only one there.
Later at dinner, Richard was very quiet. When I asked if he'd like to
talk about it, my big strong husband broke down in tears. "That's the
first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in the Army", he said.
That night was a turning point for him. He walked a little straighter
and, for the first time in years, was proud to have been a Vet.
I'll never forget Ann Margaret for her graciousness and how much that
small act of kindness meant to my husband. I now make it a point to say
Thank You to every person I come across who served in our Armed Forces.
Freedom does not come cheap and I am grateful for all those who have
served their country.
If you'd like to pass on this story, feel free to do so. Perhaps it will
help others to become aware of how important it is to acknowledge
the contribution our service people make.
If this story has appeared on another web site, I apologize. It was sent to me uncredited.
I'm hoping the above is true. I remember when Hollywood celebrities supported our troops. Viet Nam changed all that. And, now, it has become fashionable in Hollywood to hate America. Bless Bob Hope. If he could, he'd be in the Middle East entertaining our boys.
And to our guys in uniform. Thanks! Most of the blogosphere (there are some liberal bloggers, after all) is behind you all the way.
Give 'em hell!
As I was reading this morning's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation I came upon an op-ed piece by Jimmah Carter. Arrrrggghhhh! Make him stop!!!
Jimmy Carter was probably the most incompetent president of the 20th Century. I postively hated him. A running joke during his single term in office was who has two bigger boobs than Dolly Parton? Lillian Carter. She had Billy and Jimmy. I still remember his solution to the energy crisis: turn down the thermostat and wear a sweater. And there was Jimmah in a cardigan to set an example for the rest of the American people.
Let's look at his foreign policy successes. He gave away the Panama Canal and he bribed Israel and Egypt into not fighting for only $2 billion a year to Egypt and $3 billion a year to Israel, which we are still paying.
Let's look at his big foreign policy failure: Iran. He fucked up big time. And Jimmah, since you're so big on international law, why didn't a pissant country like Iran obey international law? Where was your wonderful UN during this crap?
So the last thing we need is to have to listen to Jimmah Carter expound on foreign policy.
Jimmah was a good man when he founded Habitat for Humanity which builds homes for the poor. If that was all he did as an ex-president we could forgive him for some of his sins. Unfortunately, he didn't stop while he was ahead. He started meddling in foreign affairs. At first, he started monitoring elections, and it looked like he might be doing some good, but sometime in the 90's he went off the deep end.
He managed to muck up the North Korean situation when he negotiated the agreement with North Korea in 1994, that they immediately started violating in secret. And to Molly Ivins, I'm still waiting to hear how we didn't hold up our end of the bargain!
It seems now that Jimmah never meets a dictator that he doesn't like or is not willing to appease. Robert Mugabe? Hell of a guy. Castro? Love him. He let Jimmah speak to the Cubans. A lot of good that did. And Saddam? Let the inspections work.
I was gonna fisk Jimmah's op-ed but, dammit, Frank Martin beat me to it, and a fine job he did.
So what else is there to write about? Howza 'bout Spring at GOC Central in Beautiful Dunwoody, Georgia? Today was an incredibly beautiful day! It got up in the 70's. So off I went out to the Great Patio of Dunwoody (There's a story there that I'll write sometime) got up upon the Great Wall of Dunwoody (Ditto) and started weeding my berm.
Last week my friend Cindy got some creeping phlox and planted it for me. We tried to get some more Saturday, but only found one. I'm trying to get it to take over my berm so I don't have to do any weeding. I've been doing this for three years and in about two more years, I'll have it done. It blooms in the early spring and is really beautiful.
I got about half the berm weeded. Hopefully, I'll finish next week if the weather is nice. My sister and her husband are visiting next month and I'm gonna let them help me build up my raised beds. Cindy has two bum wrists and can't carry landscape timbers back to the Great Patio anymore, so when my sister comes, we can add two more rows of timbers to the raised beds and build some screens to keep bugs bunny out of my vegetables. He loves little seedlings. He's especially fond of string beans.
So, I'm actually in a mellow mood. Sorry, no ranting and raving tonight. I'll try to do better tomorrow.
A friend sent me an email with various quotes about France that I thought I would share.
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from
these drawbacks, it is a fine country. France has usually been
governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a
French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
it."
----Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
--- France's President Jacques Chirac
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German
Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed
any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True,
you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee,
but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking
large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J. O'Rourke (1989)
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress
of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but
doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator, Arizona
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us
get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get
the Germans out of France!"
----Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came
marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman
Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep
France.
--Unknown
We ought to punish the French and Germans by making the French drink German wine and the Germans drive French cars.
--From the Vent in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution
And yesterday I heard Jeff Greenfield from CNN on Imus call the French 'cheese eatin' surrender monkeys'. Holy Simpsons!
Sorry, no Fax From Babs tonight. I was originally gonna have Babs fax MSNBC and complain about 'Paul Donahue' being cancelled, and I went out to her website to get some more fodder for the fax. I got so mad about her 'My Right to Dissent Post', I was gonna fisk it, but then, I watched Bush's press conference and I decided to put it in plain language that everyone could understand.
Caution! Adult language follows. Brian, quit reading now!
Long time readers may remember that I put out a plain language translation of Bush's speech to the United Nations last year before they passed UN Resolution 1441. For those who came in late I will reproduce it now.
Good day assholes.
Since I need an applause line, here's some money for UNICEF. I know you're gonna waste it, but I figgered if we gave you some money you'd think we really gave a shit about this worthless organization.
Since 1991 you assholes have passed numerous resolutions in regards to Iraq. I'll list 'em for ya but it ain't gonna do much good. It will just make y'all look stupid. Since Saddam Hussein has the same opinion of you dickheads as I do he has told you to go fuck yourselves and given you the finger.
We know he has chemical and biological weapons and is close to developing a nuke.
Here's your big chance to prove you're not just nattering nabobs of nothingness (borrowed part of the phrase from Spiro Agnew) and to actually prove that this organization is relevant.
Since I think you're just gonna talk a lot and say let's negotiate with Saddam, I'm going through the motions of actually pretending y'all might do sumpin'. That way I can tell the American people I tried to get the United Nations to actually do sumpin' but they're just worthless bogger eatin' moh-rons so fuck 'em, we're taking out Iraq anyway.
Thank you and blow me.
So now we have the press conference. First I will summarize the President's remarks then I will translate the questions and the answers. These are the actual questions in plain language.
President: Good evening. Saddam Hussein was told to disarm. The United Nations Security Council passed UN Resolution 1441, unanimously that told him to disarm. He hasn't. If the UN won't enforce that resolution we will. Any questions?
Q: Mr. President. Don't we need to work through the United Nations to resolve this problem?
A: Nope! We gave them a chance. They are letting Saddam give them the finger and telling 'em to fuck off.
Q: What about North Korea?
A: What about North Korea? How come you assholes don't want us to take unilateral action against Iraq, but want us to take unilateral action against Korea? I think Japan, China, and South Korea should be more concerned about North Korea than we should. We'll get to them after Iraq.
Q: We've been sharing intelligence with our allies. How come they don't see the same things you do.
A: Because they're dickheads. The English speaking countries, England, Australia, and New Zealand are with us. Canada probably is too with the exception of the Frogs in Quebec. The French and Germans have too many deals with Iraq. Plus they're jealous. Fuck 'em.
Q: What are you waiting for and why does the world think we're bad?
A: We respect the right to dissent. We went to the UN and got Resolution 1441 passed. Unfortunately, the UN does not have the balls to enforce it. We do. As for the rest of the world, they're jealous because we are the most powerful, properous, and free nation the world has ever seen.
Q: Is this personal like Ted Kennedy said?
A: Tell that bloated bastard to go for a ride next to a river.
Q: What went wrong that so many people and governments are against us?
A: Who knows? All I know is I'm protecting the American people and enforcing UN Resolution 1441.
Q: Will the war be a success if we don't capture Saddam Hussein dead or alive.
A: The war will be a success if there is a regime change. Haven't you been listening?
Q: Why do we have to attack him if he hasn't attacked us?
A: Are you nuts?
Q: Will you still attack if the vote goes against you next week in the UN?
A: Hell yes! That will be a win/win situation. We attack and it shows that the UN is nothing more than the League of Nations. We can kick 'em out of New York and not give 'em anymore money. It doesn't get much better than that!
Q: Are you worried about the UN?
A: Why? Fuck 'em! If they won't even enforce their own resolutions, they will have declared themselves irrelevant.
Q: Isn't Turkey fucking with us?
A: Yep! But they have just screwed themselves out of a lot of cash, the Northern Iraq oilfields, and help with the Kurdish problem.
Q: How does your religious faith guide you?
A: I pray for wisdom guidance and strength, and I will pray for our troops.
Q: What about the chance that this will produce more terrorism?
A: We were minding our own business when we were attacked not once, not twice, but many times culminating with 9/11. So doing nothing didn't protect us from terrorism. We need to show the world that if you fuck with us, we will hunt you down and we will kill you. The pussy who used to be president was all talk and no action. They thought the entire nation was like that worthless bastard.
Q: Will you give the inspectors and journalists in Iraq warning?
A: Yep! Make your travel reservations now.
Q: Why not tell the people how much it will cost?
A: We don't know. We'll go to Congress and ask for the money. A better queestion would be, how much is the security of this country worth?
Q: Back to North Korea.
A: Why? We brought that up with the Security Council, but they'll fuck it up as bad as they have with Iraq. Let the fuckers starve.
Q: Compare this with Viet Nam.
A: No comparison. Viet Nam was a clusterfuck. We had no goal other than not to lose. In Iraq we have a goal: regime change.
Q: What about the British resolution setting a deadline?
A: What about it. We have been giving this fucker last chances since 1991. This is it. It's his choice not ours. And as for the United Nations, it's their choice as to whether they want to be a player. They can step up to the plate or give up and become the League of Nations. Their choice, not ours.
Good night. I'm outta here.
Aha! I should have been suspicious since the story was from Reuters. Den Beste has this link and this link to the actual complaint. Seems our boys at Reuters left sumpin' out. What a surprise! I'm shocked! Shocked, I say! As Emily Litella would say, "Oh! That's different. Never mind!"
Last night I wrote about some dipshit Hollywood actors whining about how they were being lambasted about their views on the upcoming war. The Screen Actors Guild was even bringing up 'blacklisting', which is a bunch of bullshit. The only people in Hollywood who have to worry about blacklisting are conservative actors, not liberal ones. Anyway, my response is to not watch their shows on television, not to buy their albums if they are musicians, and not to pay to see their movies. I watch most of my movies on cable anyway.
I got all sorts of comments about this. Kim du Toit commented that some actors are so good, like Tom Hanks and Paul Newman, that he is able to ignore their politics. Tom Hanks is not as annoying as Mike Farrell and Martin Sheen. And Paul Newman donates all the money from his Newman's Own products to charity, so he does some good with his celebrity. I guess this argument is akin to Wagner is so good we can ignore his rampant anti-Semitism, which I do, since he's been dead for over 100 years. Fortunately, I don't think Martin Sheen, Sean Penn, George Clooney, and especially Jane Fonda, are competent enough actors that I want to see their performances. I never watched the television series MASH, because I thought it was a second rate knock-off of the movie. The person who wrote the book that the movie and series was based on felt the same way.
Sharon felt bad because she faced the problem of actors she liked being in the same movies as actors she despised. Now, I didn't demand people do this. This is just me. I'm voting with my remote control and my wallet. Unless the movie has real good special effects, I'll wait until it comes on Showtime or HBO. As for TV, I stated my reasons yesterday for not watching The Left Wing. If it's made by Hollywood about a president, it has to be left wing propaganda and Hollywood's version of the president they wish Bill Clinton had been.
But, if Hollywood is making propaganda and we exercise our freedom to ignore it, don't whine about it. Those no talent dipshit Hollywood celebrities can use their fame to mouth off all they want. I just don't want to hear them whining when it affects their careers. Actions have consequences.
I believe in the First Amendment. So did the Founders. That's why they put it first. And what did they put second? The right to bear arms. They wanted us to have the right to speak out against an oppressive gummint and the wherewithal to overthrow it.
Because I believe in the First Amendment, and the right of Chrissie Hynde to say something so incredibly stupid like "I hope the Muslims win" (Well Chrissie, I hope you enjoy wearing a burqa and being treated like a second rate animal, since that is what will happen if "the Muslims win". And what do you think of your song Ohio being Rush Limbaugh's theme song?.), this story from Reuters, sent to me by Jim, is very upsetting.
According to the criminal complaint filed on Monday, Stephen Downs was wearing a T-shirt bearing the words "Give Peace A Chance" that he had just purchased from a vendor inside the Crossgates Mall in Guilderland, New York, near Albany.
"I was in the food court with my son when I was confronted by two security guards and ordered to either take off the T-shirt or leave the mall," said Downs.
When Downs refused the security officers' orders, police from the town of Guilderland were called and he was arrested and taken away in handcuffs, charged with trespassing "in that he knowingly enter(ed) or remain(ed) unlawfully upon premises," the complaint read.
Now, either I'm missing sumpin' or this is total bullshit! Busted for a T-shirt? I realize the intelligence level is not too high in New York as evidenced by the fact that they have elected Chuckie Schumer, Hillary Rodent Clinton and Jerrold 'the hut' Nadler (And every time I see Jerry, I think of the fat guy in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, and I wonder when he is gonna explode.), but this is ridiculous. Busted for a T-shirt? What is in the water in New York?
I don't care what was on his T-shirt. This is ridiculous!
And I'm a little bit upset at what went on here in Atlanta when the President was here last week. There were some people protesting the war and they were spat on by the pro-war crowd. That makes me ashamed of our side. That is uncalled for. That's the kind of bullshit I expect from the left. But, I guess we are entitled to a little rioting. After all, Molly Ivins in one of her columns which I fisked talked about Bush's shock troops, the ones who staged the white-collar riot during the Florida vote count. Yep! I remember them. There were about 25 white-collar, tassle-loafered, pocket protector sporting thugs. Look out! It's the Bush White Shirts!
And here is a fine example of freedom of speech.
Give 'em hell, grannies!
Awright! I'm still waiting Molly, how did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
Since I'm gonna say a few words about Hollywood, John Hawkins at Right Wing News has pointed out a Hollywood connection to terrorism. As he said, "Somebody had to do it."
Turns out that there is is a fine Hollywood whine.
Let's see, Susan Sarandon is whining about how people are calling her unpatriotic because she is anti-war. No, Susan, people are calling you unpatriotic because you are a bloody hate America first, socialist. The irony here is that if she got the gummint she wanted, she would not be free to mouth off about how bad the gummint was. She also wouldn't be a rich actress because she would have no skills in a socialist society other than sweeping streets or maybe cleaning toilets. Now wouldn't that be a sight to see? Barbra Streisand and Susan Sarandon on their knees cleaning toilets when, of course, they would rather be on their knees servicing a toilet like Bill Clinton.
Sean Penn is all upset. He claims he lost a movie role because he went to Baghdad. Hey Sean! Maybe you didn't realize that we are soon gonna be at war with Iraq. Going to Baghdad is like going to Berlin in 1941 and saying what a nice guy Hitler was. You're a dipshit. STFU!
Woody Harrelson is a case where the character he played on Cheers is actually smarter than the real Woody. After reading his twaddle in al-Guardian, where if he were in charge he would 'honour Kyoto' (which would make us a third world country), 'join the world court' (which would make us subject to the rules of other third world countries), 'shut down the nuclear power plants' (If we're a third world country we sure wouldn't need any electricity would we?), and 'cut the defence budget in half' (If we're a third world country we sure as fuck wouldn't need any defense would we?). Woody get on your knees and join Susan and Barbra in cleaning out those toilets, because in the country you envision, that would be all you'd be good for.
And then we come to Martin Sheen. Marty is upset because he is getting hate mail about his position on the war. Poor widdle Martin. Is poor widdle ou all upset? Is all the mail from the mean people gettin poor widdle ou all upset? It's called free speech Marty. You exercise your right of free speech by speaking out against the upcoming war and the people exercise their right of free speech by telling you that you suck. And now you're worried that all the protesting will cause the suits at your network to take some sort of action about your show the Left Wing. And you're screaming McCarthyism and blacklisting.
First off, let me say that I have never seen the Left Wing. I do not like watching movies or series with Hollywood's version of the President of the United States. Hollywood likes to depict the president that they wish Clinton had been: Liberal, brave, and honest. As we know, Clinton was not liberal (Clinton's politics were whatever got Clinton elected), brave (BWAHAHAHAHA!), or honest (BWHAHAHAHA!).
Anyway, back to Marty and the other whining Hollywood nitwits. There is a difference between blacklisting and boycotting. Now, it's the conservative actors who are being blacklisted. What the commie actors are starting to discover is that they are really out of touch with real Americans and the real Americans, those of us who love our country, are beginning to get fed up with socialist bastards like Martin Sheen, Mike Farrell (Has he done anything since MASH?), Susan Sarandon, and all the others of their ilk. There is now talk of boycotting them and the movies or TV series that they are in.
I have done my part. I never watched a Jane Fonda movie after she went to Viet Nam. As far as I'm concerned, she is a traitor who should have been given a fair trial and then shot for treason. I very seldom go to movies anymore, but I will refuse to watch any television program with the likes of Martin Sheen and any other of the commie Hollywoood nitwits. Since I watch very little television anyway, that won't be too hard.
Yes, it is a free country, and they are free to speak out against the war. And I am free to call them assholes and refuse to support them by not watching their shows, not buying their record albums, or not paying to see their movies.
And if they do not like hearing people call them un-American, it's just too fucking bad. Freedom of speech works both ways.
Quit whining!
My sister sent me an email last week asking why I do a Fax from Babs every week, but only do a Molly Ivins fisk once a month. It's not that Molly Ivins fisks are hard to write. On the contrary, they write themselves. I've even done one or two when I was under the influence of an adult beverage, which is probably the best way to read Molly's bullshit. No, the reason I only do them once a month is because it involves reading a Molly Ivins column all the way through. And I have to read it more than once. Do you realize what damage that can do to one's brain? Anyway, let's see what Molly has to say about North Korea.
When we need a laugh in grim times, we count on our Attorney General John Ashcroft, the Whoopi Goldberg of the Bush administration.
And when we need a laugh anytime, all we have to do is read a column by Molly Ivins, the Robert Fisk of American journalism.
Last week, Ashcroft took time off from tracking down terrorists in order to bust 55 people for selling rolling papers, pipes and other drug paraphernalia.
They were probably preparing to read a Molly Ivins' column. They make more sense if you're stoned.
Nice to see a man who's got his priorities straight.
Friends don't let friends read Molly Ivins.
Onward. Let's review the bidding on North Korea. "Review the bidding" is a bridge term for "How did we get into this mess?"
Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
In 1994, the Clinton administration came to something called the Agreed Framework with North Korea, under which Pyongyang agreed to put its 8,000 spent nuclear fuel rods -- which can be easily converted into weapons-grade plutonium -- into storage, watched over by U.N. inspectors and cameras. In return, the North Koreans were supposed to get two light-water nuclear reactors and economic and diplomatic relations.
Sounds good on paper. How did it work out?
Unfortunately, we didn't quite live up to our end of the bargain.
Huh? We didn't live up to our end of the bargain? Hey John, when you were bustin' the stoners, you should have dropped by Molly's place. I think she's been doin' a little tokin' herself. I can't wait to read her explanation of this.
As usual, the Republicans had a cow and decided that anything agreed to by Bill Clinton (not to mention the dread Jimmy Carter) must be a sellout.
Well, yeah, what's your point? How did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
We did, however, provide a substantial amount of food and fuel aid over the years, and in 2000 the Swiss company ABB agreed to deliver equipment and services for two nuclear power stations at Kumho. Interestingly enough, Donald Rumsfeld was on the board of ABB at the time, though a Pentagon spokeswoman says the secretary does not recall the $200 million deal ever having been brought before the board.
OK, we gave 'em fuel and food. How did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
So in comes George W. Bush, and six weeks into his term, March 2001, Bush humiliates President Kim Dae Jung of South Korea during his visit to Washington by announcing that we would not support his "sunshine initiative" to improve relations between the Koreas, for which Kim Dae Jung won the 2000 Nobel Peace Prize.
Yeah. Arafat won a Nobel Peace Prize in 1994. Jimmy Carter won one, too. BFD! Chirac has even been nominated for one. How did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
North Korea had been sending lots of signals that it was ready to deal, ready to open up and to make concessions. But the Bush administration denounced it as a "rogue state" and used it as a prime excuse to promote the national missile defense system.
It is a rogue state. It's run by a crazy loony. But I still want to know how did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
Bush, ever the soft-spoken diplomat, told a reporter that he "loathes" Kim Jong Il on a "visceral level" and also called the dictator "a pygmy." True, Kim Jong Il is vertically challenged and a repellent dictator, but insulting paranoiacs with nukes is not smart.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I still want to know, how did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
Then came the "axis of evil" speech in 2002. According to Bush's speech writer David Frum, North Korea got thrown into the axis as an afterthought, apparently for rhetorical purposes. Unfortunately, Kim Jong Il, like, kind of took it personally. Then the Bush doctrine of "pre-emptive war" was announced, along with the policy of using nuclear weapons to maintain American hegemony.
American hegemony? Jesus Molly, you sound like a Red Chinese propagandist. Who's more likely to use nukes? North Korea or us? Oh, and how did we not live up to our end of the bargain? I'm starting to get a little pissed here.
In October, North Korea admitted that it was running a secret uranium enrichment program, so Bush promptly renounced the Agreed Framework and cut off the food and fuel oil supplies we had agreed to. (Don't ask me to explain this, but apparently an enriched-uranium program is not nearly as dangerous as making plutonium.)
I'm still waiting to hear you explain how the fuck did we not live up to our end of the fucking bargain? And it doesn't matter what the difference is between enriched uranium and plutonium. You can make nukes with both. What does matter is your bullshit about us not living up to our end of the bargain, which you have never bothered to explain in this entire bullshit column and how the North Koreans snookered Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter from the get go. I'd like to hear you explain that also.
The North Koreans said they would drop the uranium enrichment and allow inspections to continue in return for a promise of no pre-emptive strike from us and a normalization of relations.
GMAFB! And they have such credibility. I'm sure both you and Jimmy Carter believe 'em dontcha? Oh, and how did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
Bush refused.
Wonder why?
A few months later, the North Koreans kicked out the U.N. inspectors and announced that it would begin making plutonium from the spent fuel rods.
Which they would have done anyway.
Bush then announced that we absolutely would not negotiate with the North Koreans. Then, in January, he announced again that we would not negotiate but would "talk."
It's called diplomacy. Sumpin' Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter aren't very good at. (See original deal where they got snookered.) Just go over in the corner and play Molly, while the grownups deal with the evil North Koreans. Don't let it bother your silly little head.
The North Koreans want direct talks with the United States, while we want multilateral talks -- Bush endorses multilateralism at last!
That's what you wanted. You should be happy. But, nooooo! Now you want unilateralism. Make up your mind!
-- with Japan, China and South Korea, and possibly Russia, Australia and the European Union. China, Australia and South Korea have all urged us to have direct talks.
But whose problem is it? Japan and South Korea will be affected most of all. We will be affected if the North Koreans sell or give nukes to terrorists. If North Korea nukes one of our cities, there will be no more North Korea.
Meanwhile, the South Koreans have elected Roh Moo Hyun to succeed Kim Dae Jung, and he, like his predecessor, favors the sunshine policy.
Well, fine. No one's stopping him from talking to North Korea.
(Before you start on the "How dare they?," "Those ingrates!" and "Worse than the French," please recall that for 25 years the United States supported a military dictatorship in South Korea, so they tend not to take our rhetoric about "democracy" really seriously).
We supported a lot of dictatorships during the Cold War. And isn't it amazing that many of them are now democracies? Y'know, the eastern European countries take our rhetoric about democracy very seriously.
All in all, a nasty situation. Colin Powell has just returned from a trip to South Korea and may be able to work out some straddle on the direct-talks issue. Meanwhile, it looks as though the North Koreans are busily building nuclear bombs, and no one doubts that they'd sell a little spare plutonium to anyone who paid them enough. Oy gevalt.
Your heroes, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter created this situation. Do you think Bush can fix it just like that? I don't know what the solution is either. But I know whatever solution you would think up would be worse than what we have now.
I'm for lettin' 'em starve.
Oh, and how did we not live up to our end of the bargain?
Geraldo: Hello, this is Geraldo Rivera, live from Baghdad and I am speaking to three human shields from America, more specifically, from Berkeley California. They are Professor Dumfuque, and two of his students Buffy and Jennifer.
Prof D: Hello Geraldo
Buffy: Hey Geraldo
Jennifer: Hey Geraldo, I just like love you. I just like love watching you on television. You're like awesome?
Geraldo: Thanks, Jennifer. Professor Dumfuque, let's start with you. What made you decide to be a human shield?
Prof. D: Well, Geraldo, being a human shield runs in my family. My great, great grandfather was a human shield at Custer's last stand. His scalp is in a museum near the site. My great grandfather was a human shield in WWI. I still have the gas mask he used. My grandfather was a human shield at Dresden when the imperialists from the United States firebombed it. We tried to find his ashes to no avail. My father went to North Viet Nam with Jane Fonda and he stayed on as a human shield after she left. Alas, we never found his remains.
Geraldo: So being a human shield runs in your family?
Prof D: Yes. Every generation, there is a Dumfuque willing to risk his life to become a human shield.
Geraldo: It appears your family hasn't had much luck since every generation a Dumfuque dies as a human shield.
Prof D: That's right, Geraldo, but we believe in peace and are willing to sacrifice ourselves for that.
Geraldo: Jennifer, how about you? What made you decide to become a human shield?
Jennifer: Well, Geraldo, Buffy and I were talking and she was like "Jennifer. We have to do something to make the world a better place." And I was like, "Buffy, why don't we save the whales." And she was like, "Everybody's saving the whales , we should try something different." And I was like, "Why don't we go to Iraq with Professor Dumfuque?" And she was like, "That's an awesome idea. I'm sure our parents would give us money for that."
So, Geraldo, here we are.
Buffy: And it is like, so awesome?
Geraldo: I see some British human shields left today because it was too dangerous. (link courtesy of Little Green Footballs) What do you have to say about that?
Prof D: Well Geraldo, obviously they were not committed to the cause of peace.
Geraldo: Buffy, how have you been getting along with the Iraqi people?
Buffy: Well, Geraldo, they are like we should be human shields at military installations, and I'm like, I'm so against war and I should be at a mosque or a hospital and they're like they need me at gun sites and I'm like I'm not really sure if that's the right thing so I listen to Professor Dumfuque.
Prof D: That's right Buffy. So, you, Jennifer, and I will go where the Iraqis think we will do the most good. As long as we're here, our selected, not elected president wouldn't dare bomb us. After all we're Amereican citizens. This way we can let the inspections work.
Jennifer: Awesome!
Buffy: Awesome!
Geraldo: Do you have anything to say to the people back in America?
Prof D: Hi Honey, I love you!
Buffy: Hey Jason. This is awesome. Wish you were here with me.
Jennifer: Hey Matthew. I love you!
Geraldo: So there you have it. An interview with three human shields.
This is Geraldo Rivera, bravely reporting from Baghdad. Back to you E. D.
Geraldo: Are we off? Jesus! Those had to be some of the dumbest people I've ever interviewed. Now let's get the fuck out of here before the bombs start falling. I sure as fuck don't want to get shot at like I did in Afghanstan!