Serenity's Story

I'm half in the bag. Actually, more than half in the bag. In honor of the lovely Kate, I knocked down a couple of Stoly's on the rocks and half a bottle of wine, so I'm in no condition to write anything rational, so I thought I would share an e-mail I got in response to my post on taxes last week.

I have written many times about just how hard it is to fail in this country, and I got an e-mail from someone who took all the steps that I suggested, but still had problems. One step I did not include was step 4: Never give up! So, here is Serenity's story:

I had posted a few days ago that under Bill (overspending) Clinton, while going to school--to better educate myself--I became homeless.

I followed all the steps. I graduated high school, I joined the military to serve my country, make a difference and the bonus was, earn money for college. I got out and went to college. While in college--18 credit semesters--(4 classes a day)--I had three part time jobs and rode the bus an average of 4 hours a day. Lord knows I was not being lazy and I was doing my damndest to make my future a better one.

Despite all my efforts, I ended up homeless. I didn't overspend. I didn't have credit cards. I didn't go out drinking and I didn't do drugs. (God, I didn't have time to become a substance abuser!) (that was sarcasm--drugs bad.) I didn't have cable, I had BASIC phone and I wore sweaters in the winter instead of turning up the heat. I survived off Top Ramen (oh God if I never have another bowl of that it will be too soon) and I didn't even have pets. My money that I earned went towards rent, the phone, the heat, my 10 assorted Top Ramens for $2, sometimes I might splurge and buy milk, bus pass, lab costs, books, school supplies, registration, tuition, etc.

So what went wrong? Jeez, I'm doing everything right! Why the hell am I sleeping on someone's floor with a bag of 3 days' worth of clothes and the rest of my stuff locked up in storage? What the hell happened?!?!

You know what? What was the point in asking that question at the time? There was no time to wallow around, pissing and moaning, I needed to get myself a place to live and find a better job---all the while, still attending my classes. (at that particular time it was Economics 102, Psychology 101, American Literature, and English 102---co-ordinated....oh God kill me if I ever do something like THAT again!)

So what I did was work even harder. In three weeks, I found myself a new place to live, convinced them that I was trustworthy, please give me a break--don't make me pay last month's rent. I also convinced them to allow me to pay deposit over three months. Then I went and found a FULL TIME job in addition to my 3 part time jobs and full time school. I explained the situation to my instructor's and they cut me slack...minimal...VERY minimal...but they cut me some slack.

What did this teach me? This taught me that if you are determined to make it, if you are determined to have a better life and not become a statistic...cause that's the easy way out...you can succeed. If you work your ass off, you ask for help, you will find that when those others see how HARD you are working to improve the situation, they are willing to bend the rules. It's all about hard work, discipline and some inconvenience. The only exception was when I went to see if I could qualify for food stamps. Nope. As a student, I was apparently too rich. LMAO! Now THAT is funny. The system didn't work for someone who genuinely needed the help but it sure worked for those lazy, fat, baby machines out in the waiting area. (Might I also add that my full time job I landed was Undercover Store Security. I saw more than I ever want to see again. I saw people in the nicest clothes, driving some NICE, tricked out cars...buying their groceries with food stamps. They were eating Steaks and Doritos while I had Top Ramen. Then they would take their groceries out to the car--come back in and buy alcohol and cigarettes off the change they just received. (this was back in early 90's). And there I was, full time student, 4 jobs---basically starving cause I was too rich for food stamps.)

Anyway-this was by no means an easy time in my life but I made it. I succeeded! I worked my ASS off and I made it! There is absolutely no reason, whatsoever that someone else can't make it. NONE!

I was homeless. I was literally starving. (lost 30 pounds in two months....yes, starving.) I could have thrown in the towel, abandoned everything and insisted the government support me while I bitched and whined about my status. The difference between me and someone who leeches, is pride. I did not serve my country to become a leech. I did not suffer through all those exams and finals to become a leech. I had pride in myself and my country. And I'm one hell of a stubborn and determined girl. I decided to take all that energy I could have used to scream about how the, "man was trying to keep me down", to get myself back up.

I look back on those times with mixed feelings. Sometimes it's hurtful but most of the time what I feel is powerful. I made it from the trenches and I'm out on top because I CHOSE to be on top.

You are right. There is rarely an excuse for poverty in this country. When it does happen--there is no excuse for it to remain that way.

Serenity

All I can say about that is, "Can I hear an amen?" Go visit her site.

Molly on Iraq

Clueless Molly is at it again and like all the anti-war liberals wants to know where the WMD's are.

Much as I hate to interrupt what is apparently a deeply felt triumphalism on the American right,

Yeah pretty neat, huh? What happened to all the house to house urban warfare you liberals were wringing your hands about?

now that it's over, does anyone see any reason for our having invaded Iraq?

I see lots of 'em. But let's see what bullshit Molly is gonna shovel here.

I realize that's what we all kept trying to figure out before the invasion,

What's this we shit, Molly? Do you have a turd in your pocklet? It was mostly you liberals who felt this way. Those of us on the right knew exactly what was going on.

but don't you think it should at least be visible in hindsight?

Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass it would. Do I have to explain it to you? Did you see the jails and torture chambers? That alone was reason enough.

Good thing we won the war, because the peace sure looks like a quagmire.

Yep! Gotta get that quagmire thing in. Let's see. The war ended about two months ago. The country is in chaos and we're supposed to have everything all peachy keen by now. How long did it take us to rebuild Japan and Germany after WWII? Jesus Molly, maybe we oughta send Jimmy Carter and the Clintons over to Iraq. They'd have things fixed in two days.

These are early days, certainly, to attempt a full historical evaluation.

No shit!

Could be a case of the forest and the trees. Perhaps we're well along the road to having everything work out magnificently, and I'm just missing it.

Yep! You're right there.

Still, I can't see anything that's going right.

After only two months.

Iraq is in chaos, and apparently the only way we'll be able to stop it will be to kill a lot of Iraqis.

War is hell!

Just what Saddam used to do.

Except he was killing innocent people. We're going after the bad guys. Typical liberal moral equivalence bullshit.

The other day, we announced we were going to shoot looters, and when that produced nightmare scenarios of children dead for stealing bread, we had to cancel that plan.

It was you fucking liberals who were screaming about us not doing anything about looters. Will you make up your fucking mind!

Now we're going to try gun control -- that should have the enthusiastic support of the NRA.

Jesus Molly! Do you even have a clue?

Meanwhile, the chaos in Iraq seems to be costing us whatever goodwill we earned for getting rid of Saddam Hussein, the one unmitigated good to have come from all of this.

Holy shit! She admits that there was sumpin' good to have come from the war.

I hate to be picky, picky, picky,

When you're a fucking idiot, idiot, idiot!

but there are still no weapons of mass destruction.

Uh, Molly, they have determined that the trailors they found were indeed mobile biological labs, and Saddam had four years to hide the weapons. If there were no WMD's why did Saddam kick the inspectors out in 1998? Why was he still playing hide and seek with the latest inspectors?

In fact, we've apparently even stopped looking for them.

Huh? When did this happen?

Since Iraq never had anything to do with Al Qaeda or Sept. 11

Wrong again. Links between al Qaeda and Saddam have been found.

-- despite American public opinion on this issue -- it was certainly no surprise to see Al Qaeda back again, with strikes in both Saudi Arabia and Morocco. Bush's announcement that we had broken up the organization seems to have been a trifle premature.

Molly have you been reading Maureen Dowd? Bush never said we had broken up al Qaeda. He said we had damaged al Qaeda.

There was much un-muted griping from American intelligence about the total Saudi failure to cooperate before the attack there. (As one antiwar sign reminded us before the recent events, "Sept. 11 equals 15 Saudis, 0 Iraqis.")

Molly you just don't understand what's going on do you? We had to take out Iraq first. Believe it or not, it was about the oil. It was about guaranteeing the oil supply so we could go after Saudi Arabia (and when we do, you'll be one of the loudest voices screaming about that) and Iran. We need to drag the entire Arab world (and the Iranians) kicking and screaming into the 21'st Century. It ain't gonna be easy since they're stuck in the 7th Century.

Meanwhile, one of the other sales pitches we were given was that, for reasons never explained, getting rid of Saddam Hussein would make it easier to make peace between Israel and the Palestinians. It's not looking promising. Didn't look promising before the war, doesn't now.

He's no longer giving $25,000 to families of suicide bombers. I'm sure that he was financing terrorism in other ways also.

President Bush came out with his Roadmap for Peace, and the Israelis took the first exit. Ariel Sharon, so memorably described by Bush as "a man of peace," wasted no time undercutting that proposal.

He has since accepted it.

The always-unhelpful Palestinian terrorists attacked,

Duh! That's all they know. They don't want peace. They want the total destruction of Israel. They have never made a secret of that. And that fat fuck Arafat is already undermining the Roadmap to Nowhere by saying he is in charge of negotiations. That pretty much stops the Roadmap right there.

and Sharon counter-attacked

I would too.

and then cancelled his trip here to discuss the peace plan.

The Roadmap to Nowhere.

The usual ugly pictures and refueled resentments ensued; the same-old, same-old of this 50-year-old cycle. So far, getting rid of Saddam seems to have had zero effect on this old deadlock.

Close your eyes. Tap your shoes together and say "Peace. Peace. Peace."
Jesus Molly! You expect everything to happen immediately dontcha? Getting rid of Saddam was just one step in a process.

Meanwhile, Iraq looks more and more as though it will be costing us the high-end estimate of $20 billion a year,

Pretty cheap since the original estimate was $79 billion.

for which they have yet to appear noticeably grateful.

Some of 'em are.

The Shiites hate us,

Not all of 'em do.

the Kurds are killing the Arabs,

What's wrong with that?

we're hiring old Ba'athite thugs to run things and generally becoming about as popular over there as a whore trying to get into the SMU School of Theology.

Ha! Ha! Good one. Molly, you sure are a card.

As John Henry's cousin Eddie used to say of the Vietnamese, "If they don't like what we're doin' for ‘em, why don't they just go back where they come from?"

Another knee slapper.

OK, if this is the situation -- and it's certainly what's being reported -- I don't get why we're still hearing Bushies saying, "Ha, ha, ha; we won the war." Was there anyone who said we wouldn't?

Nope. But there were lots of people on the left saying it would be a quagmire with thousands of American soldiers dead and 100,000 Iraqi civilians dead.

Since I am in the happy position of having predicted a short, easy war and the peace from hell,

Congrats. You finally got sumpin' right. Do you want an award?

I think I'm looking like a genius prognosticator about now.

Cool. Where's the Dow gonna be in six months?

I can't figure out why the Republicans are happy about this.

The war was won in three weeks and came in under budget. What's not to be happy about?

Sure, it was a great photo-op for the president on the aircraft carrier, but if you think the American people won't notice $20 billion a year because of some nice pictures, you have sadly underestimated the common sense of this nation.

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people. This is the country that elected Bill Clinton twice.

I realize that what we see depends on where we stand, but there is a substantial body of emerging fact here, none of it encouraging for optimists.

I don't know. I'm usually pessimistic, and I'm encouraged by what's gone on so far.

We may yet see hopeful developments, but damned if I can see any cause for celebration now, or even for building a presidential re-election campaign around footage of our triumphant pres flying out to the aircraft carrier.

Bush on the aircraft carrier sure did piss off the liberals didn't it?

There's a very real possibility that by November 2004, Republicans will very much want everybody to forget the war now called Dubya Dubya II. (Sorry, I don't know whom to credit for that one, but it's not original with me.)

No. I think it's gonna be Dimocrats who will want to forget about it.

I've got an even-money bet out that says more Americans will be killed in the peace than in the war and more Iraqis will be killed by Americans in the peace than in the war. Not the first time I've had a bet out that I hoped I'd lose.

I think she's right about the Americans being killed, because since there is anarchy in Iraq, and the Religion of Peace™ is gonna want to kill as many Americans as possible, it will take time to pacify the country. As for the Iraqis, how many died in the war? We need to know that before we can make a comparison. And if they die, it will be because the Religion on Peace™ sent them off to blow themselves up, or they get killed attacking Americans.

So here we have it: typical nattering negativity. Any suggestions on what would correct all the problems Molly has listed? Nope. Bush bad. That's pretty much all the left has to say. And as long as that's all they have to say, it looks like the 2004 election will be a disaster for the Dimocrats.

And that would be a good thing.

Hand Job

I'm pissed! I'm really pissed! So, what do I do when I'm pissed? I try to piss off other people. Someone started a campaign to flood Acidman with warm, fuzzy e-mail. I'm gonna do one better. I know he reads me and I know he hates cats, so Acidman, this picture is just for you. Ain't this kitten cute?

I'm also pissed that my server, and the server of some of my favorite blogs went down today. Fortunately, I was able to exercise my blogging fix and write
sumpin' over at the Slutertarian site. Unfortunately, even though I posted it over an hour ago, it still hasn't appeared on the site. I'd e-mail President Kate and ask why, but she's been bitching about getting too much mail lately (the price of success) so I'll just update this post with the permalink when it's available.

I went to the hand doctor today. After poking me with a paperclip, he told me that I had nerve damage in my fingers. Y'see, the nerves run right along side the arteries, and since I sliced the arteries, I also sliced the nerves. Bummer! So, he recommended I have surgery to fix the nerves. The surgery is next Tuesday. I'll be in a cast for three weeks. Being one-handed when one has no legs (and some of the other problems that go along with paralysis) sucks big time. I'm not real happy about that. Handjobs suck!

On the upside, the latest Carnival of the Vanities is up at Dean's World.

Off to bed. More tomorrow.

Cynthia Gets It

I'm always amazed when I see people in other countries reading what I write. I even got linked by this guy in Australia. And yes it will take a long time to load because he is on Blogspot!

Those of you who live in Atlanta and read the Urinal and Constipation know that Cynthia Tucker is the editorial page editor of said paper. She is very liberal. Every now and then (Even a blind pig can occasionally find an acorn and a broken clock is right twice a day) as in her campaign to get Cynthia McKinney and her bigoted father defeated in the last election, she does stumble on to the truth and make sense. Sunday was one of those days. As I read her column in Sunday's paper, I kept shaking my head in wonder and thinking, "Cynthia, you are gonna get in a heap of trouble for writing this". Ya see, she is blaming the poor showing of black men in school on, (are you ready?) black parents! How dare she do sumpin' like that! As everyone knows, all black failures are due to racism.

As I'm sure you know by now, I'm a racist because I believe black people are every bit as intelligent as white people, and I think blacks have been betrayed by their 'leaders' who want them held to lower academic standards and by doing so, actually reinforce the false belief that blacks are dumber than whites. Bullshit!

Why is this country the richest and most powerful country in the world? It can't be our abundance of natural resources. Yeah, we have oil, but we still have to import more than half of what we use. It's our people resources that make the difference. In this country, everyone works. We don't keep our women veiled and at home. Any country that does not use all of its human resources is doomed to failure. Maybe if Germany had used Jewish scientists rather than killing them, they might have developed nukes before we did. That's why I want black students to achieve. I feel the same about Latinos and all other ethnic groups.

How do we develop human resources? Three words: Education. Education. Education. Our public education system, which used to be the envy of the rest of the world is going down the tubes. Nowhere is this more evident than in the inner city.

What does Cynthia have to say?

Young black men are in trouble. They are dropping out of high school, fathering children out of wedlock, falling into lives of drug abuse and crime. Getting them back on track will require not only intense outreach from university counselors and high school teachers but also determined efforts by (emphasis mine - GOC) black parents, black churches and community organizations.

That means having parents read to their children starting at an early age. It means having parents be proactive with how their children are doing in school. It means having black churches speak out on problems in the black community and not blame white folks for all the problems. And it means having the NAACP concentrate on real problems rather than symbolic bullshit like the fucking Confederate flag. We can expunge all memory of the Confederacy and it will still not keep one child in school.

Many black teenage boys start out as bright and disciplined pupils in elementary school, but they begin to drift toward mediocrity -- if not delinquency -- in middle school. Nationally, only 34 percent of black male high school graduates go on to college. (The U.S. military recruits many college-eligible black men.)

What happens?

Since black boys often start out with more disadvantages, including the lingering effects of racism, it is no wonder that their problems are more pronounced. It may take a generation to reverse the entrenched effects of culture and environment, whether it's white teachers who see every black boy as a thug-in-training or black parents who fail to push academic achievement. So it's time to get started.

You may be surprised that I agree with Cynthia that there is lingering racism in the United States. But the 'entrenched effects of culture and environment' that Cynthia is talking about must be the culture that doing well in school is 'acting white'. Once again, the NAACP and other black organizations, including black churches, should be pounding home how self-defeating this concept is. How come we don't hear Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Kweisi Mfume, Cynthia McKinney, Maxine Waters and all the other RWPP's (Race Warlord Poverty Pimps) preaching this? I guess because it's easier to blame everything on racism. And if the black community does succeed, they won't need Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Kweisi Mfume, Cynthia McKinney, Maxine Waters and all the other RWPP's.

But parents, not teachers, play the most important role in children's education. Every black parent ought to insist on academic excellence; they must combat the perverse view among many black kids that serious scholarship is "a white thing." That notion is prevalent even among middle-class black students, according to University of California professor John Ogbu, author of "Black American Students in an Affluent Suburb: A study of Academic Disengagement."

Hmmmm. Cynthia is starting to sound just like me. Maybe she's a racist, too. Info about the John Ogbu study she is referring to can be found here. He was asked to try to determine why blacks at an upscale school were not doing as well as whites.

Here is one of his conclusions that got him in trouble:

"The black parents feel it is their role to move to Shaker Heights, pay the higher taxes so their kids could graduate from Shaker, and that's where their role stops," Ogbu says during an interview at his home in the Oakland hills. "They believe the school system should take care of the rest. They didn't supervise their children that much. They didn't make sure their children did their homework. That's not how other ethnic groups think."

Uh. Oh. For this he was labeled an "academic Clarence Thomas." So Cynthia better watch out.

The last paragraph of Cynthia Tucker's column:

As long as they remain dismissive of serious academic achievement, black students will consign themselves to mediocrity, at best, or failure, at worst. And no amount of affirmative action will change that.

And the NAACP thinks the Confederate flag is the biggest problem confronting the black community today.

How sad.

ER

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Don't ever try to catch a falling wine glass!

We had just finished dinner out on the Great Patio of Dunwoody, when it started to rain. So, we went inside and I proceeded to open yet another bottle of wine. (our 4th) Somehow, I knocked an empty wine glass off the island in my kitchen. With lightniig quick reflexes, I caught it before it hit the floor. Unfortunately, it broke in my hand and cut the bejesus out of my ring finger and my little finger right down where they join my hand. You should have seen the blood. Fortunately, Cindy is a nurse and I have a veritable cornucopia of medical dressings. She bound up my wound and off we went to the emergency room.

The closest hospital was Northside, so that's where we went. Since Cindy had done such a good job dressing the wound, the bleeding had stopped. We were at the ER for about a half-an-hour before they took us back to an exam room.

The nurse practioner took one look at the cuts and sent me off to x-ray. When I returned, they had a tetanus shot ready for me. Then I got to soak my hand in a Hibi-cleanse solution. It was a good thing they x-rayed me 'cause there were two little pieces of glass in one of the cuts.

The nurse practioner gave me some novocaine and proceeded to wash out the wounds. Then it was back to x-ray to make sure she got all the glass out. It was on this trip that I noticed a sign that said 'Emergency Room personnel are not employees of Northside Hospital. They are contractors who are allowed to use hospital facilities.' Holy crap! Just like the computer industry everything is generating toward contractors.

The glass was all out, so the NP gave me eight stitches, a prescription for an antibiotic, some pain pills and sent me on my way.

Did I mention that this was my right hand that was injured? While my right hand was soaking, I had to sign some medical forms with my left hand. Funny, my signature does not look too different left-handed.

I was finished and off we went back to my house to have dessert, a banana cream pie I had made earlier. Meanwhile, my right hand is all bound up, and I can't use my crutches to walk, so I'm in a wheelchair. Since I can't do transfers very well, I'm gonna be stuck at home, probably until the stitches come out next week.

Well this certainly was a memorable Memorial Day holiday.

Memorial Day

As I write this, it is Sunday and I'm waiting for friends to come over for barbequed pork steaks, baked beans, and potato salad. In St. Louis, this is typical Memorial Day fare. But, I'm in Atlanta. I may not finish this before they arrive, but I wanted to get some of this written while I was still sober. As it is Michael and Cindy coming over, we're talking a three bottle of wine dinner and some grappa for afters.

So it's Memorial Day. The official start of summer. A nice three day weekend. While you're at the beach, or the mountains, or just sitting at home having a nice barbeque, take a minute to remember what Memorial Day is about. Think about the soldiers freezing at Valley Forge. Think about all the brave men on both sides who died in our Civil War. Think about the men who twice had to save Europe. Think of all the dead buried in France who died to save that sorry nation. Think about the soldiers who fought an unwinnable war in Korea. Think also about the soldiers who had to fight an unwinnable war in Viet Nam, unwinnable because the politicians would not let the soldiers win it. And then, those soldiers were called baby killers when they returned. Think about the soldiers in both Gulf Wars.

I was in Viet Nam. I was in the Navy. On both of the ships I served on, the majority of the crews were made up of people like me: four years and out. As such we were in our late teens and early twenties. The jarheads and the grunts were the same. I joined at 19 and got out at 23. We did most of the work. Viet Nam was a young man's war.

Many of us, including myself, thought we belonged there. We were fighting communism. But, we were betrayed by our own countrymen, people like Jane Fonda who went to North Viet Nam and gave aid and comfort to our enemy. It's one thing to protest at home. It's another to go to an enemy country and make propaganda radio broadcasts. To this day, I think she should be tried for treason and shot. I think that after we gave up and came home, we were vindicated by seeing the bloodbath that occured in Viet Nam and Cambodia.

So, on this Memorial Day, take a minute to remember the soldiers, all the soldiers, who fought to keep this country free and make it the best country in the world.

Thanks guys.

Tax Cuts

Well they passed 'em and without the help of noted RINO, John McCain. Way to go, you asshole! Why don't you quit the pretense and go on over to the Dimocratic Party? Maybe they'll let you run for president. What a fucking asshole! At least my Senator, Zell Miller, voted for 'em.

So now we get to continue to listen to all the class warfare bullshit about tax cuts for the rich. And how the poor will not get a tax cut. Listen up buttwipes! The poor don't get a tax cut because they do not pay any taxes! Jeez I am so sick of this crap!

Let me just say a thing or two about the poor. There is no excuse for poverty in this country except for catastrophic illness, catastrophic accident, or substance abuse (including alcohol). A large majority of the poor are poor because they made stupid choices. I've written this many times, but here is how to avoid poverty in three easy steps.

1. Get an education. Graduate from high school and learn to read and write English. Bilingual education, like most liberal educational policies, does nothing but keep non-English speakers from succeeding. After graduating from high school, go to college. If you can't afford college, go to junior college or a trade school. If you can't afford that, join the military. I flunked out of college so I joined the Navy and learned electronics.

2. Start working at an early age. Get a part time job while in school. Flipping burgers is not beneath you. It is called entry level. I raked leaves, shoveled snow, cut grass, babysat, and worked in the school cafeteria.

3. Do not have children you cannot afford. I'm all for sex education in schools. Show 'em where the babies come from. Give away condoms. I could solve poverty real quick. As soon as a woman goes on gummint assistance, she gets sterilized. And, no, it ain't your fucking right to have children if you expect me to support 'em.

Back to the tax cut. Yeah, it gives most of the tax cut to 'the rich'. That's because the rich pay most of the taxes. BTW, ask a Dimocrat to define 'the rich'. How much income does it take to be classified as 'the rich'? I bet you won't get an answer. To a Dimocrat, 'the rich' consists of anyone who has money that they want. Did you know that the top 1% of the tax payers make 17% of the income and pay 34% of the taxes? Sounds like those people are paying their fair share to me. I'm in the top 5%. I grew up poor, in a dysfunctional family (my father was an alcoholic) but followed the three rules above and I made it to where I am now. My sister did even better. She's smarter and actually finished college on a four year scholarship.

I'm over taxed. Most of the tax payers in this country are. In the article I read in this morning's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation, it said that a single person making $100,000 a year would only get an additional $40 a week. I don't know about the rest of y'all, but I wouldn't mind getting an additional $40 a week to spend. And, I would either spend it or invest it. Either way that would help the economy.

Why didn't last year's tax cut help. Because most of last year's tax cut only took effect in the future. Sure, we got our rebate checks, but that was about all. We need the additional take home pay now! And that's what this tax cut will do.

Hey Senator McCain! Bite me!

Hey Zell! Thank you!

I Hate Client Server!

But first, look what I stole from Curmudgeonly & Sceptical.

Eeeewwww! There goes my dinner!

So what's up with the Germans?

The German project is on hiatus. We gave them two proposals:

1. $1.5 million a year. They run on our platform fully automated.

2. $1.75 million a year. They run the stupid, inefficient way they're running now. The difference in price is the two additional programmers we would have to hire to support their dumb environment. As it is, we'll still be doing it with seven less people. Ah, the triumph of capitalism over socialism.

For them to meet their budget, we would have had to have had them up and running by September 1. To do that, we would have had to have ordered and installed four new processors and six new DASD magic boxes. If they hadn't sat around with their thumbs up their asses and rotating on said thumbs and signed the contract in March, we could have made it. As it is, there is no way. They are $350,000 short. We are not willing to eat that money, so the project has been put off until November when we will revisit it. Of course, this is impacting our needs as we were gonna piggyback some of our stuff on the hardware we were getting for them. Now, we gotta figger a way to get at least one new processor to properly support our current customers. And, next October, we get to start the process with the Germans again. Maybe I'll be resource actioned out the door by then.

So why do I hate client server? First off, I'm a mainframe bigot. I'm a systems programmer who works with MVS (renamed OS/390 and then renamed z/OS) and VM. I've been doing stuff in the large systems environment since 1977. One of the nice things about the large system environment is support is handled by the mainframe staff, not the end user.

On Monday, I got into work and powered up my PC and fired up my mail program. Hmmm! Nuttin' new. Wassup wid dat? I replicate a local copy of my mail from the server and the replication worked OK. Hmmm! So let's go up to the server. That's funny. Nuttin' there either. What's going on? Then, I remembered. They migrated me to a different server over the weekend. There's an e-mail from support that they were doing it and instructions on how I was suppposed to do a bunch of shit on my PC to make this work.

Now this is the kind of shit that pisses me off. They could invest in some sneaker wear and get some intern to do all this shit, but instead, they have the end user, in my case a highly paid data processing professional, do it. To top it off, the instructions sucked! So, I spent an hour-and-a-half (and my team lead helped also) fucking with this stuff to make it work. A kid making 1/4 of what I make could have done it in 1/6 of the time.

This is the false economy of pushing everything off on the end user. Plus, management does not like us to call the (No) Help (Whatsoever) Desk 'cause that's $25 a call. It's internal funny money, but it is charged against us. What really pissed me off, since I'm not doing too much (call me Wally) this cut into my web surfing time. But, if we had the German project I would be working my butt off (at least six hours a day - remember, my boss lowered my rating last year, so I'm working down to it - 6 hours a day - nice round number), and this bullshit would have cut into my productivity bigtime.

Oh well, the week is over and I'm off until Tuesday.

Yeeee! Hahhhh!

She's Baaa-aack!

My sister sent me a link to this interesting post about graduation ceremonies at Berkeley. Is it just me or did I get the 60's civil rights movement all wrong? Weren't we trying to integrate our society? Wasn't 'separate but equal' wrong? With the advent of multiculterism, it looks like the left wants us to become segregated again. No place is this more apparent than in the California University system.

USC's official commencement ceremonies were held on May 16. The night before, more than 180 seniors participated in the school's 25th annual Chicano and Latino graduation. Parts of the ceremony were in Spanish, parts in English. There were traditional dances performed by dancers in ceremonial dress. There was also a Cultural Staff covered with indigenous symbols; it was carried by a member of the Latino Honor Society in order to recognize her leadership and example. USC also held a black graduation last week.

Three separate graduation ceremonies by race. It's a good thing this wasn't done in Georgia. O'Reilly would be screaming bloody murder. But isn't this, well, ummmm, uh, like racist? But wait! Look what went on at Berkeley.

UC Berkeley's African Studies department held its own graduation ceremony on May 17.

And guess who the commencement speaker was?

The commencement speaker was none other than Cynthia McKinney.

GMAFB! Time to hook up the old bullshit detector! The meter will be pegged most of the speech so it will probably have to go back in the shop for an overhaul. Erin provided a link to the entire speech. You may remember that it was in Berkeley last year when Cynthia made her outrageous remarks about Bush knowing about 9/11 and not taking steps to stop it. So I guess it's only fair that she gives a commencement speech at Commie U. for an encore.

I'm only gonna hit the low high points of her speech, and I don't know how much I'm gonna be able to take before I have to go puke.

You have accomplished an important milestone in your lives. Important for who you are and where you are.

She's probably gonna say they're black and at Commie U.

You are young, gifted, and black. And you are graduates of The University of California at Berkeley--America's campus--with a legacy of informed action and deliberate dissent.

Told ya! 'legacy of informed action and deliberate dissent' = anti-American, anti-Semitic communists.

I want to ask each of you today to consider the current state of America.

Put on your boots. Here it comes.

Under President Bush the US has turned its back on the United Nations

And that's a good thing.

and the entire international community

Except for the 40 or so nations on our side.

and has waged war in Afghanistan and Iraq;

And stomped 'em both!

more potential conflicts are threatened with nations like Iran, Syria, North Korea, and even China.

Yep!

Here at home, unemployment is rising, our economy is on its knees, and our national debt is threatening to reach unprecedented levels. The word "deflation" is whispered by many economists.

Ohhhh! We're in dire straits!

In better days students graduated from college practically debt-free. No longer.

Exactly when was this? The 1950's? Everyone I know who put themselves through college owed money on student loans.

More families than ever before try to relieve the mounting pressure by depleting their savings and becoming more in debt. Yet, the President advocates more tax cuts, not for poor America, but for the rich.

Gotta get that 'tax cuts for the rich' in there don't we. Actually, the tax cuts are for people who actually pay taxes.

Only this week we learn that in this country one million black children now live in poverty and that one million black men and women are in prison. Every night on the streets of America, over a quarter of a million veterans sleep as our forgotten homeless. That's the thanks of a grateful nation.

OK Let's examine why we have one million black children in poverty. It's because we have black females (many of them younger that 18) having babies they cannot afford to support. Is that my fucking fault? No Cynthia. It's your fucking fault. You and all the other RWPP (Race Warlord Poverty Pimps) who blame everything on whitey rather that preaching personal responsibility. If you really want to eliminate black children in poverty, preach personal responsiblity. Preach staying in school. Preach learning to read and write English. Preach that doing well in school is not 'acting white'.

And why do we have so many black men and women in prison? Maybe because they have committed crimes? Maybe if there were more two parent families, children would be brought up with better values. And this is not just a black problem. Single parent families casue crime problems in whites also. But, the illegitimacy rate is much higher in the black community.

And I am on her side as far as the problems with veterans go. Jesus, I actually agree with Cynthia on sumpin'? Nah. I'll be willing to bet she just threw that last bullshit in. I know an anti-American commie like Cynthia doesn't give a rat's ass about veterans.

Special interests have taken control of our nation's capital and are perverting it from the noble traditions of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Kennedy, and instead are using our precious national resources for personal profit and personal needs.

Personal profit: Bill and Hillary Clinton

Personal needs: Renaming everything in West Virginia that doesn't move after Robert 'Kleagle' Byrd.

And don't think Cynthia didn't have her personal needs taken care of when she was in Congress. And. now. she. is. gonna. quote. Eisenhower!

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron."

Yes, we have spent a lot of money on the military. That military won the Cold War. That military has also defended this country from our enemies. And that miltary has kept this country free. And even with our military spending, we have still been able to dole out billions to the rest of the world. We're giving $15 billion to Africa for AIDS, which will probably be money flushed down the toilet.

You, here today, graduate from an institution with a long and noble history of fighting to protect the interests of our nation.

Berkeley? Fighting for the interests of our nation?

In the early 1930s and '40s the issues that sparked Berkeley's activism ranged from labor rights and the Spanish Civil War to the draft. In the halcyon days of the '60s and '70s the issues ranged from the right, itself, to dissent on campus to the Vietnam War.

In other words, anti-Americanism.

Whether the issues were near or far, civil rights at home or human rights abroad, we, who lived in other parts of the country where such activism couldn't easily be expressed, could count on you at Berkeley to be there, to speak for us. And sometimes even to think for us.

Yeah. That's all we need: Berkeley thinking for us. GMAFB!

Above all, your graduation from Berkeley is a signal to everyone around the world, that more than anything else, you can think and are prepared to fight for what is right.

Communism.

And so, no matter what you do or where you go in life, let no one deny you the right to think for yourself.

As long as you think the way the left tells you to think.

And no wonder. In the face of the corporate media package that is presented to us as "news," it is now imperative that you learn to see the invisible, hear the unspoken, and read the unwritten.

Communism good. Capitalism bad. Whites are bad. Jews are bad.

Or else, you will not know the truth.

Communism good. Capitalism bad. Whies are bad. Jews are bad.

Only this week we've learned from the BBC News that the entire "Saving Private Lynch in Iraq" episode was staged by the US military.

Only this week we learned that the BBC is backtracking from that story.

Then she rambles on and on and on and starts sounding more like Maxine Waters.

After finding a CIA document that actually mentions assassination and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., dated May 11, 1965, some 3 years before his murder, I held a forum in the Congress on The Murder of Martin Luther King, Jr.

So there ya go. James Earl Ray was a CIA operative.

I wondered why Africa seemed to be in turmoil, and so I began to investigate US involvement on the Continent. That led me to the murder of Patrice Lumumba as a model for the systematic destabilization of the Continent and the theft of its resources by a small brigand of outlaws who have legal and illegal weapons at their disposal to create so-called rebel groups that materialize from out of nowhere and have instant access to press conferences and international airwaves. So I held a forum in Congress: Covert Action in Africa, Smoking Gun in Washington, DC.

Holy shit!

I wondered out loud why Tupac was murdered and why we don't have any clues as to who did it.

Another CIA plot!

But understanding how the Black Panthers were targeted in their heyday, I wondered if the fact that Tupac's mom was a Black Panther and his father figure a black activist contributed to certain death threats against Tupac's life that were being investigated by the FBI. So I decided to have a Hip Hop event in Georgia and one in DC to explore these and other issues of Hip Hop as a political movement--infiltrated and cut short.

There it is. The CIA has infiltrated Hip Hop. Who woulda thunk it?

I wondered why it was that the statistics could reflect worsening conditions for black America and very few people actually know it. So I began to publicize the State of Black America.

* that the AIDS infection rate for black men is 5 times higher than for white men and 15 times higher for black women than for white women;

Whose fault is that?

* that African Americans now account for 41% of all US AIDS cases;

I bet it's them damn Jews! That's right. It's a Zionist plot!

* that despite the higher incidence of breast cancer for white women, black women actually die at a rate 69% higher that white women;

That's because the VRWC infects blacks with a more virulent form of breast cancer.

* that black women are at greater risk of dying from every pregnancy-related cause of death reported than white women;

The AMA is in on the plot also.

* that the ratio of black men in prison to those in higher education is 4 to 1. And between 1980 and 1995, the increase in incarceration for black men was 20 times greater than their enrollments in colleges and universities.

Well Cynthia, maybe if they would quit committing crimes that wouldn't happen. And, to go to college, one has to graduate from high school. That's kinda hard to do when that is considered 'acting white'. Maybe if you would go into the inner cities and say stuff like that, you might be able to change things for the better. Nah. Race baiting is so much easier.

And then she goes on about "What did the Bush Administration know and when did it know it about the events of September 11th?" And, of course, we have to go on about how Bush stole the election and then...

Sproing!

Oh shit! My bullshit meter just blew up. I can go no further. Read the rest of the speech if you dare.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Food and Creation

I went to a fantastic wine tasting last night! As longtime readers know, I'm a wino, and my friend Michael, is in the wine business. He is the wine buyer for Greens in Atlanta. Periodically, he will put together a wine tasting dinner at a local restaurant featuring wines from a particular winery with a representative of that winery speaking on the wines. The wines we drank came from Arrowood in Sonoma County. The restaurant was Violette. For my Atlanta readers, Violette is on Claremont right off I-85.

What made the tasting fantastic was not so much the wines, which were excellent, but the food, which was superb. I'm a member of the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta, and we usually hold two to three tastings a year at Violette. The food is good and the price is right.

Last night we had trout for the first course, marinated swordfish on a skewer for the second course, duck for the third course, and a pear tart for dessert. We sampled eight different wines.

So, when I got home last night, I was too mellow to write anything good, so I posted Dave's play.

For some reason, I didn't sleep well last night and got into work late. I was tired all day. Every Wednesday, we have a meeting I have named the Inquisition Meeting, as we discuss what's coming up next week and what happened last week. I had a heck of a time staying awake. I hate that meeting!

I'm still tired and even though my sister sent me sumpin' interesting to write about, I'm gonna save it until tomorrow. Today, here is sumpin' for the people from the People's Republic of Kalifornia.

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in Sacramento."

A Play by Dave

I went to a wine dinner tonight so I'm in no shape to write anything, so here is a play by Dave from St. Petersburg (Russia not Florida).

I have never written a play before, but here is a thing I have in mind.

I envision this scene in a mountain hideout somewhere in Islamolandia:

(In the glow of a campfire, there are a few dirty, scruffy men, dressed in
ragged white cloaks. Some of the cloaks incongruously bear the wording
'Ramada Inn' markings in faded black ink near the ends. They are sucking on
hookahs and sipping at tin-cups of tea.

Beards are mottled, matted and mangy. But we will leave the women serving
them out of it.)

Mohammed-"We have finally pulled off the impossible! Now, we can fight the
infidels with weapons he understands! No more depending on Allah, the
suitcase nuke we bought will teach those dogs a lesson!"

Ahmed, pointing a bony finger at Mohammed-"He didn't say 'Peace be upon him'
when he said 'Allah!'"

Mohammed-"Shut up you filthy pig! Curses be upon your mustache!"

Tariq-"Let's stick to the point. We now have a weapon capable of doing some
real damage. So, brothers, what do we do with it?"

Ahmed-"Take it to New York! Or Washington! Strike at the Americans! We
hate them the most."

Budwy Sehrman"True..true...but there is much danger getting the bomb to New
York. Getting on an airplane is much more difficult since our brother
Osama's big adventure."

Tariq-"Where else can we strike at the hearts of infidels?"

Badr-"Who is the country we hate most, besides America brothers?"

Mohammed-"Russia!"

Tariq-"That's right. They have been killing our brothers in Chechnya,
Afghanistan, and all over -stanland for years now. Let's consider the
Russians."

Ahmed-"I know! I know! We could go to Moscow, and take the bomb into a
theater! We could hold the people hostage, torment them, and kill them
while the news of the infidels broadcasts our heroism for all to see."

Budwy Sehrman-"Been there.....Done that...."

Mohammed, pointing at Ahmed, -"Sit down and shut up."
Tariq-(Unfolding a piece of paper with the letterhead ARAB NEWS in green ink
on the top.) Here is my plan.....

(Everyone leans in, Ahmed falls into the fire. He jumps to his feet and
begins jumping and screaming. Head thrashing about, tongue bouncing
sideways in his mouth the way the women do when they make that hideous
screaming noise.)

Ahmed-"ulululululullulululululululululululululullululululululu"

Tariq-"Someone please take him outside."

Badr-"He hasn't been the same since Saddam....uh..well... you know..."

(Badr makes a circle with his thumb and forefinger, and jams the forefinger
from his other hand in and out of the hole. He shrugs, then pushes Ahmed,
still smoking and squealing toward the door of the cave.)

Ahmed-(Bangs his head on the top of the cave exit.)"Doh!@"

(Snickering among the cavedwellers.)

Tariq-"We need to go to St. Petersburg. In St. Petersburg there will soon
be a gathering of infidel leaders the likes never seen before. It will be a
gathering of more than 50 heads of state from countries we are at war with.
With one blow we can strike down the combined leaders of the infidels."

Mohammed-"It is truly a gift from Allah! Can we get the bomb to St.
Petersburg?"

Tariq-"That should be easy brother. We can put it in the back of a car. If
the Russian police stop us, they are corrupt. A bribe of 100 roubles, about
3 dollars, will keep them from bothering us. Getting our bomb to the city
will be very easy."

Budwy Sehrman-"True.....true...."

Tariq-"Once we get to St. Petersburg, we have many friends. As you know,
the largest mosque that far north in the world is in St. Petersburg. We
have many, many brothers to help us hide and wait the day of glory."

Mohammed-"It sounds too easy. What about the security for the site?"

Tariq-"It is impossible for any city to be protected from a bomb this
powerful. We don't have to get next to the dignitaries, just in the area.
We will have no problem. The Russian government is weak right now. It is
corrupt, it is understaffed, and their pride keeps them from asking others,
like the US for help in security matters. This, brothers, is a chance we
won't see again for 1000 years. Allah has blessed us truly with this."

Mohammed-"Isn't it true that we bought this bomb from a Russian?"

Tariq-"Yes. It was the Soviet Union that developed this bomb. It is called
a suitcase nuke, and it is designed exactly for this type of purpose. For a
small band of people to get near an event and set off a nuclear blast. The
Soviets lost track of them when the country collapsed, and our supplier had
this one, and a few others. In all, there are almost 50 of these bombs
missing."

Mohammed-"It is very lucky for us that we have this one."

Tariq-"Luck had nothing to do with it brother. It was planning. We worked,
planned, and spent money to get this bomb. Now we have to use it to our
full advantage."

The lights go down, the scene is over.

Now, let me give you a little background on this play.

May 27th is the 300th anniversary of the founding of the city of St.
Petersburg.

They have been gearing up for the city, and they claim they are just about
ready. There will be more than 50 heads of state in attendance, including
George Bush, Tony Blair, and most of the big ones. More than 3000 foreign
journalists have been accredited by the agencies involved to come and
participate, and in about 10 days,(May 27th) it will all culminate in a big
party celebrating what is, to Russians, a tribute to their favorite city.
(Most Russians hate Moscow.)

I am going to be out of town that day.

Dave

The Dialectizer

Dan Sent me this incredible link and have I been having fun with it. For example, here's Rachel Lucas as a cockney.

Is it just me, or does any fairy else fink that blokes 'oo refuse ter have guns in their 'omes ain't right keen, isit? I don't mean ter insult the intelligence of any fairy 'oo refuses ter have a gun in their 'ome - but yer must know that yer seem insane ter me.

I don't know why I'm bloody well finkin' of this right now, right, I guess it's partly because John were out of tahn for two days and that's wen I fink about goblins breakin' into me 'ouse. Plus I seen my sister, and God bless 'er, she finks guns are useless. We didn't rabbit and pork about that this time, but we've been over it an 'undred times before. And it makes me mad.

And howza 'bout Kim du Toit in jive?

Duz any sucka out dere love da damn cult movie Montana, o' am ah' de only one? It stars Stanley Tucci, Kyra Sedgewick, Robbie Coltrane and Philip Baka' Hall -- and if dere's some betta' ensemble cast, ah' can't dink uh one. Hell, Raz'tus Ritta' has some cameo role, and even he's 'sellent. Man!

Dark, dark sto'y uh a pair uh hitmen (Sedgewick and Tucci) who wo'k fo' gang Man Coltrane. Absolutely wonderful movie. I've been lookin' t'steal de DVD, but kin't find it anywhere. Oh well... maybe DVDNow gots it, aldough ah' hesitate t'go dere -- givin' dem yo' email- and mailin' address be likes sellin' yo' soul t'Ghar, de God uh Junkmail.

Or Den Beste in Elmer Fudd?

(On Scween): In wesponse to a paiw of posts I made wast week, wegawding the qwestion of whethew mechanism is a pwovabwe fact ow a bewief, De Waving Atheist has made a sewies of posts (1 2 3). In them, he makes cewtain statements about what he infewwed fwom my wwiting about what I bewieve, in some cases qwite incowwectwy. Fow instance, he seems to have concwuded that even if I don't agwee wif him that aww wewigion is subject to outwight dispwoof that I nonethewess do agwee wif him that Chwistianity specificawwy can be.

Or Acidman as a redneck? Wait a minute. He is a redneck. Let's do him as a Swedish chef delinking Vodkapundit.

Yeeh, I reeleeze-a thet he's a Tell Dug, boot he's becume-a su poossyvheepped seence-a he-a gut merreeed thet I hefe-a nu use-a fur heem tudey. Bork bork bork! Beseedes, he's tuu boosy vreeting a foockeeng cuukbuuk tu blug vurt a sheet. Um de hur de hur de hur. (telleeng oozeer gooys hoo tu get leeed thruoogh cuukeeng. Bvhehehehehehhheeea!! Es IF he'll oovn hees oovn deeck unymure-a)

Stephee, hemboorger meet und boons, veet vurchestershure-a sooce-a, selt und pepper und Emereecun cheese-a sleeces. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Cunned suoop und Pup Terts. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Thet's ell yuoo foockeeng NEED tu knoo. Cuukbuuk, my ess. Um gesh dee bork, bork!

And now for the ultimate sacrilege. Blasphemy, even. The dialectizer is gonna do Bill Whittle in moron.

When I was nine I saw a leprechaun.

Stop the, errr, car! Doihh, COOL!

I didn't do myself in moron, cause how could you tell the difference? Anyway have fun with the link.

Thanks Dan.

Legacy Building

Due to a request from at least two people on Saturday's blog, here is the link to the dangerous bloggers post. He said he has already got some hits about it. Thanks to Andrew for sending me the link. And I think Kim and Acidman oughta go over to that site and ask why they weren't included. BTW, Ralph Gizzip said he has zero comments on all his posts, so he is just waiting to hear from anyone else who thinks they should appear on his dangerous blogs list. And Mark, you're welcome. This will probably be the most hits you have ever received.

I mentioned in an earlier post that the Dimocrats sold their souls to the Clintons. We now have another example. In order to try to remove some of the tarnish from Bill Clinton's legacy (now there's an herculean effort!), they have now taken to dragging down one of their own, none other than Saint John F. Kennedy of Camelot. By golly he made it with interns also, so what Clinton did with Monica is all right. See, everybody does it. At least Kennedy was a war hero. Clinton was a draft dodger.

Let's check out some more of Bill's legacy.

Let's see, the first 'black president', stabbed his friend Lani Guinier in the back when he took a poll and found out that she was just too radical for the post in the Justice Department. Just one of the first in the profiles of cowardice of Bill Clinton.

Then we had the gays in the military. Once again, Clinton put his finger in the air and backtracked. That's the nice thing about having no convictions. You can waffle all you want.

Hillary tried to yank the country so far to the left with her socialized medicine fiasco that the Republicans took control of both the House and Senate for the first time in over 40 years! Great legacy Bill. That's one thing Dick Morris must have missed.

Now Clinton started stabbing Dimocrats in the back by triangulating and co-opting Republican isues like NAFTA and welfare reform. Thanks Bill. I gotta hand it to ya. You done good there. You stabbed your own party in the back, but you did get re-elected. And you did get NAFTA and welfare reform passed.

And then there was impeachment. Billy boy was only the second president to be impeached, and the first elected president to be impeached. You're going down in history buddy. That is your legacy. And to all you liberal bed wetters, he was not impeached because of Monica. He was impeached because he committed perjury in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case.

And history will show that the Clinton administration was the most corrupt administration in the history of the country. More corrupt than Grant. More corrupt than Harding.

I've also heard that this Susan Estrich column that I linked on Friday has been spiked by the mainstream media and this is the only place it can be found. I should hope so. We sure don't want the Dimocrats to know what it will take to get them back in power. As long as the Clintons and Terry McAuliffe are running the Dimocratic Party, the republic is safe. They don't care about the country. They only care about Bill's legacy. And that's a good thing.

More on Liberal Bloggers

Well Kim du Toit didn't make the liberal dickhead's list of dangerous blogs and he is pissed. Likewise Acidman isn't in there either. I can think of some others who should of been in there. And I'm sorry, I cannot give the url cause my site meter only goes back to the last 100 hits so he's scrolled off. I only got one hit from him anyway. One of my commenters said he was Mark Unas, but google gives me nuttin'

Liberal bloggers have the same problems as liberal talkshow hosts. They really don't have anything intelligent to say. My last troll, Blarney Gumball has his own site which I've never been to, and since he thinks he won all the debates I would have expected him to put up some sort of gloating post pointing to my site just to show how smart he was. Alas, no links from there. Probably because no one goes to his site. That's why he is a troll.

The dangerous blogs list also included Free Republic. As I'm sure most of you know, Free Republic is the conservative version of Democratic Underground. There is one big difference: Free Republic does not preach treason. The jerks at DU hate Bush so much that they actually wanted the war in Iraq to fail. I don't recall the same bullshot at Free Republic during Clinon's Kosovo adventures. I haven't been to Free Republic since I started blogging so I don't know what they're saying now.

Ah, it's now time to piss some people off. A few years back, when my mother was still alive, my sister, her husband, her son, my mother, and I went to Disney Land. If you are a cripple (or even on crutches from a broken leg) you can get a pass to go to the front of the line at all the rides. This was great! We got to do all the rides without having to wait in line! As anyone who has gone to Disney Land knows, it is next to impossible to get on all the rides in one day. Not if you're with a crip. So, I came up with an idea to start a service, Rent A Crip, where if a customer paid my entrance fee and some additional money like $50 to $100, I could guarantee that they would get on all the rides. Alas, I would have to move to California to do that. Or maybe, I could move to Orlando and do it there.

Well, now someone else came up with a good idea. Thanks to my sister for this one.

On that note, I gotta go.

Saturday Stuff

I'm having my friends Wahoo and Jeanella over for dinner tonight. Wahoo just got some false choppers and he said he'd be able to eat corn on the cob with 'em, so I guess we'll see. Heh. Heh. Heh.

If the rain holds off, he's gonna transplant some bushes for me. I wanted that done when my sister came to visit me, but it rained the whole bleedin' week!

Back when I lived in Acworth, Wahoo and Jeanella would come by on Saturdays for dinner more often, but since they live in Holly Springs and I live in Dunwoody it's a pretty long drive, so I don't see them near as often as I'd like to.

I bought 4.5 cases of wine last Saturday. Two cases of it were 2000 Bordeaux. Yeah, it's French. I had bought some 2000 Bordeaux futures from my friend Michael two years ago and they came in just recently. Since the 2000 Bordeau vintage was excellent, I paid less than what they are selling for now. Six of the bottles are ready to drink now, so I'm gonna pop one of them to serve with dinner tonight. The other 18 bottles will get to lay in my cellar for about five years before they'll be ready to drink.

The other 2.5 cases I bought were cheapo table wine. They're for when I'm eating alone. I break out the good stuff for company. They're still good wines tho'. Michael never steers me wrong.

And z, in case you're reading this, Michael said he could special order the wines you were talking about. You can go to the Green's on Buford Highway or call and ask to speak to Michael Bishop.

I check my referral log on a regular basis to see who links to me. If it is a strange link, I follow it back to see if I like the blog. If I do, I bookmark it. It doesn't always make my blogroll, because I don't maintain it as much as I should.

People ask me why I don't link to certain people, like Bill Whittle. Like he needs someone like me to link to him. Why then do I link to Rachel Lucas and Kim du Toit, since they get a gazillion hits? Because they're my friends. Friends always stay on the blogroll.

Back to my referral log. Every now and then, I'll follow a link back to a bedwetting liberal site. I had this one dude in Scandinavia, who stated that his site was a 'gun free site' (What the fuck does that mean?), and thought that I should be taken outside, stood up against a wall, and shot. Dontcha just love irony?

Today, I followed a link back to a site (not gonna give the url. Why should I link to a dipshit?) that listed some dangerous blogs and I was the second entry!!! And I'm in good company. He said this about us:

We found the content of these sites offensive, ignorant for the most part, and reminiscent of white supremecy factions. Decide for yourself:

Hot damn! Let's see who this site thinks is scary.

Jawsblog - Dude. Get thee off Blogspot!

Me

Junkyard Blog - Get off Blogspot!

Blogs of War, and the fkwit has this to say about Bogs of War.

This is one of the scariest of them all. Here you'll find some of the most inane rubbish ever produced by freedom of speech. As I read these folks' postings, I find it hard to believe we live in the same country, and the scariest part is they believe what they post. Forget about going there to try to debate them, they seem to either have no use or no (brain) power for debate. It hurts to know these people live in the US.

John seems to have struck a nerve. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pathetic Earthlings - Another guy who needs to get off Blogspot.

Stars and Stripes - Yet another guy who needs to get off Blogspot.

The Ville

Jimmy Pincheeks Says - Get off of Blogspot!!!!

The Anti-idiotarian Rottweiler I'm in good company with Misha.

Little Green Footballs - Holy shit! Now I'm really honored. I'm on a list with Charles Johnson.

Mad Mikey's Blog - Yet another on Blogspot.

Right thinking from the left coast

It's nice that this dickhead (or dickheads) took the time to list bloggers who have offended him (them). If I don't offend someone, I'm not doing my job.

On the plus side, I'll be willing to bet that the blogs I just listed get more hits from my linking than from his linking.

Talk atcha tomorrow.

Sinking Dimocrats

I would like to thank the Dimocrats from Texas for acting like babies amd running off to Oklahoma. Now Texas is the laughingstock of the nation instead of Georgia.

"Waah! Waah! Mommmeee! Those mean old Republicans are trying to use democracy on us. No fair. If we can't get our way, we'll just run away. "

I sure hope that Republican operatives took a lot of pictures of the babies whooping it up in Oklahoma so they can use them in the next election.

And howza 'bout them Senate Dimocrats? Are they gonna filibuster every judicial nominee? Why don't the Republicans go back to the old rules where a filibuster shuts down the Senate? Let's show the American people what the Dimocrats really stand for: Obstruction. If they can't get their way, they'll act like babies. Yep. That's it. The Dimocratic Party. The Obstruction Party.

But the Dimocrats are actually for something, as Kim du Toit pointed out in yesterday's comments:

We are for gun control.
We are for high taxes.
We are about breaking election laws.
We are the party of anti-Americans.
We are multicultural.
We are against having a strong military.
We're owned by the labor unions.

And let's not forget, the Dimocrats are also for socialism and we all see how well that's working out in California. I got an e-mail from a friend in California who is recounting her woes, including increased taxes, increased costs for utilities, and declining gummint services. Georgia's budget is $16 billion this year. That is smaller than California's budget deficit. No wonder my sister is hightailing it out of the state.

Of course I love watching the Dimocratic Party implode. They sold their soul to Bill Clinton and got eight years of a Dimocrat as president. But what was the cost? In 1994, the Republicans took over Congress, thanks to Hillary's attempt to foist socialized medicine on the country. They're still trying to recover from that. If they had been smart, they would have dumped Billy Boy during impeachment and Al Bore would now be president. Sometimes things do work out for the best. They still have this love affair with the Clintons and it's only dragging them down even further. Susan Estrich, the annoying bitch whose voice is like fingernails dragging down a blackboard, realizes this. She writes about it here. Here's a nice little snippet from it:

It's bad enough that Fox has given Monica Lewinsky a talk show. Of all the hundreds of women who could help find Mr. Personality, the last one on earth who's earned the right to do it is the Queen of Blow Jobs of the 1990s.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fortunately, since Bill cannot stand not being the center of attention, and since Hitlary is so power hungry, neither of them will go away. That's a bad thing for the Dimocrats.

It's a good thing for the country.

Addison's Law

A few months back, I coined Addison's Law, after Addison, one of my more prolific commenters. Addison's Law states that whenever anyone writes in a thread that Bush stole the 2000 election, said person has demonstrated that he is a fucking idiot, he has lost the debate, and the thread is finished. I'm beginnig to have a change of heart here.

I was driving to work earlier this week and George Stephanopolous was on Imus and he just had to get in that Bush stole the 2000 election. So by golly, maybe it's true. Yeah that's it. Bush stole the election.

So there you fucking Dimocrat assholes! How does it feel that you let a dumb cowboy from Texas outsmart you? Everyone knows how dumb Bush is and how smart Al Bore is, so how did you fkwits let this happen? BWHAHAHAHAHA!

And what makes it even more delicious is that you assholes sent down William Daley from Chicago. No one knows more about stealing elections than someone named Daley from Chicago. In Chicago even the dead vote and they vote straight Dimocrat. A running joke in Chicago goes, 'My father was a
Republican all his life, but since he died he has voted Dimocrat in the last three elections.'

So yeah, Bush stole the election and what's more, the dumb cowboy did it against your A-team. No wonder you dickheads are so pissed off.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I just love it!

So, am I repealing Addison's Law?

Not a chance. Bush won. Gore lost. Deal with it.

And for today's laugh, here ya go.

Martha Solves the Middle East Problem

Before I start, an old Navy buddy sent me the following image with the following statement: Don't know why but I thought of you when I saw this. HA!

Thanks a lot, buddy!

He says that this is the new Border Patrol uniform.

Martha Ezzard is one of the many liberals on the editorial staff of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. She says she was once a Republican, but is now a Dimocrat because the Republicans want to force women to have babies and they also want to destroy the environment. Martha, on the other hand, only wants to destroy Israel. In Tuesday's AJC, she penned this column.

Middle East peace calls for bold steps

President Bush's motives in Iraq may be suspect, but you have to give him this: Once he decided that toppling Saddam Hussein was the goal, he went after the dictator with an almost ferocious single-mindedness. He was never deterred nor even distracted.

Yep! No blowjobs in the Oval Office like our former First Scumbag.

If the president now decides to push through his Middle East road map to peace, he might accomplish something far more significant to our national security.

And that would be... ?

If he is to succeed, though, he will have to take two steps he hasn't been willing to take: He must deal firmly with Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to demand that Israel retreat from recent settlements in Palestinian territories; and he must tell the Defense Department to butt out of diplomacy in the Middle East.

Hmmmm. There seems to be sumpin' missing here. What about the Palestinians? Don't they have to promise to do sumpin'? Maybe she'll bring that up later.

Why would Bush make such a dramatic turn? He is clearly more comfortable with Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and his cadre of pro-Sharon hawks than he is with Secretary of State Colin Powell and his moderate advisers. Rumsfeld now has two strikes against him, though: His department's military intelligence on weapons of mass destruction hasn't panned out,

Yep! Those pesky WMD's. Y'know, the ones that Saddam had over four years to hide. Let's not talk about all the horrors we have already discovered. But, remember, Martha is a liberal and as such the glass is always half empty.

and his installation of retired Lt. Gen, Jay Garner as civil administrator in Iraq has been such a disaster that the entire team is being replaced. The State Department's Paul Bremer III, a counterterrorism veteran, replaces Garner this week.

A disaster? It's not like they were there for a whole year. Geez Martha! Just because the war only took three weeks do you expect us to rebuild Iraq in three weeks? Get a grip!

Though some Defense Department advisers -- namely Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle -- are blind to it, American success in forging a free postwar Iraq is directly related to whether Bush comes through on his commitment to help create a Palestinian state. America's Arab enemies have convinced even moderates in the region that Bush and Sharon speak with one voice.

An Arab moderate. Is that an oxymoron? No Martha, you're missing what is going on here. We are tired of the bullshit from the Palestinians that Israel has to make all the concessions and they get to make promises that they never keep. Ya want an example? Howza 'bout Article 19 of the PLO Charter.

Article 19: The partition of Palestine in 1947 and the establishment of the state of Israel are entirely illegal, regardless of the passage of time, because they were contrary to the will of the Palestinian people and to their natural right in their homeland, and inconsistent with the principles embodied in the Charter of the United Nations, particularly the right to self-determination.

As part of the Oslo Accords, Article 19 was supposed to be removed and the Palestinians were supposed to recognize Israel's right to exist. Never happened.

The peace plan Bush is pushing offers security to Israel that Sharon's policies have failed to realize. Israeli retribution for Palestinian suicide bombings has only inspired more suicide bombers. The question, of course, is whether Bush is willing to spend some of the political capital he has amassed at home with the pro-Israel lobby, now chummy with the GOP's Christian Right.

Y'see in Martha's world, if the Israeli's do nothing about the suicide bombings, they will magically stop. This only occurs in Magical Liberal Land. And the Israelis are not so much retaliating, as they are trying to take out the terrorist infrastructure. Unlike the Palestinians, the Israeli's are not trying to kill women, children, and the elderly. In many cases, by trying to prevent harm to civilians, they have put themselves in harm's way.

It may be that if the additional 2,000 American experts sent to Iraq to uncover weapons of mass destruction don't come up with anything, Bush will be eager to shift the focus to the peace process. Thanks to a group of former CIA agents (Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity), the credibility of the information on weapons of mass destruction that Powell presented to the United Nations as the basis for going to war is coming under increasing scrutiny.

The everchanging liberal argument. First, Iraq would be a quagmire with lots of American casualties. Then, it was many civilian casualties. Now, it's WMD's. If we do find WMD's, which I believe we will, it will be back to "Where's Osama?" If we do not find WMD's the war was still justified. By cutting off economic support for the Palestinian terrorists, maybe the Palestinians will finally realize that their goal of the obliteration of Israel cannot be attained and they will finally negotiate in good faith.

What Martha and the other liberals can't get through their heads is that Arafat walked away from the best deal the Palestinians will ever get and started the current uprising. It's not the Israelis who need to be leaned on. It's the Palestinians. By taking out Iraq, I'm hoping that Bush has showed the Arab world that Israel is here to stay and it's time to quit fucking around and make peace. They cannot use the oil weapon against us, because we have Iraq and its oil. And to people like Jay Bookman of the AJC who keep writing about the imaginary American Empire, when we do fix the problems in the Middle East, if we can, we'll leave Iraq to the Iraqis and go home, unless we elect a Dimocrat president who will promptly fuck up everything.

The ex-agents, who claim the CIA's checks on information sources were ignored by Rumsfeld and Co., sent letters to key members of Congress. And Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) has written to the White House to demand answers; he appears ready to call for a congressional investigation to uncover the origin of the possibly false intelligence.

Yeah. Let's get Henry Waxman involved. I wonder if he will be able to tear himself away from his investigation of Bush's trip to the Abraham Lincoln? And Henry, keep your goddam head down! I'm sick of looking up your fucking nose!

Recently, news leaked out that even the scouring of Taji produced nothing suspicious. This was the only specific location Powell offered in his U.N. presentation on chemical and biological weapons in Iraq.

What about the mobile labs that they are still checking out? And Jesus, how long has the war been over? You liberals have been trying to eradicate poverty since the 60's. How come you haven't done that yet? Just damn, Martha! Give it some time fer chrissakes!

In his speech at the University of South Carolina last weekend, Bush set forth his first substantive vision of a transformed Middle East -- a free-trade zone, an Israeli pullback of settlements, an autonomous Palestinian state. If he could focus on the road map to peace with the same dogged determination that he gave regime change in Iraq, Bush could make it happen.

And if we could get a little cooperation from the Palestinians it might work. They need to do three things.

1. Recognize Israel's right to exist.
2. Stop the suicide bombings.
3. Give up the right of return.

Unfortunately, they have showed over and over again that they are not willing to do any of those three things so why is everything Israel's fault?

No other president has had quite the opportunity Bush has to change the dynamics of the Middle East. It's about risking political capital to leave a legacy far more important than the military victory in Iraq.

And he is willing to risk it. He took a big risk with the war with Iraq which all you liberals said would be a disaster. He's taking a big risk with the Roadmap to Peace.

Now if only the Palestinians would cooperate.

I won't hold my breath.

Manners

One of the nice things about blogging is the mail I get. For some reason I don't get hate mail. That seems to be saved for the comments, and y'all see how I have been set off lately by them. Every now and then I get sumpin' that I think has been written very well and I post it. The following essay is from Gunner in Tennessee.

People seek to find enlightenment in all the wrong places. They seek it on a mountain, in a temple, looking at a sand garden, or have it delivered by UPS in the form of the crystal, pyramid, or fung sui item that is the latest fad. I was lucky in many ways. I started to find enlightenment before I had even gotten to the first grade.

For a child there are many things that define reality. One is home, another is entertainment, and another is food. The need to consume it and enjoy it. Why do you think the most lovable photos of you as a child is when you are covered in food and holding the peanut butter/jam/chocolate syrup container. The next would be the bowl on the head, but I digress.

For me in the early 70's, before fiber and health defined and destroyed breakfast, I partook in a daily sacramental-like experience called cereal. Cereal is not just stuff in a bowl covered with milk. Oh no. Cereal is an art form for a child. It is important to get each step right, and enjoy it all. It was a truly fulfilling moment in my day.

For me it went like this. You start with the bowl. Mine was always an old plastic butter bowl. When mom finished the butter or spread in it, it became household dishware. But for me it was "The cereal bowl" Next to the bowl was the glass for milk. This was the cheap thin glass with tacky green artwork on it that you got for a fill up at the local gas station. Much of our glassware was that. Look at it wrong and it would break, so the number in the house never really grew to a large number. The only alternative to the gas station glass was the jam jar. Built to last, these stayed with us for a while. The thick ridge running around the top for the lid gave it structure that kept it from breaking long after the gas station glass gave way, always events defined by mom yelling "don't walk in here" whenever the sound of breaking glass occurred.

In the center of the table were three items. One was another butter bowl. This one with a well-defined duty. It carried sugar, but not any sugar, no no. It carried sugar mixed with cinnamon. Next to it was a butter bowl. The only one on the table that carried in it the item it was made for. Yes BUTTER. Now the toast that was buttered from this bowl would be held over the sugar-cinnamon bowl. In an act that was rushed for one reason. You never ever let the toast absorb all the butter before you spoon the mixture onto it...That way you could double or even triple the sugar mix that stuck to the bread. Bread had this horrible knack of absorbing the butter and leaving little to capture the mix of sugar thus leaving you with only a light dusting instead of a putty like coating to crunch through when you ate it. This was cinnamon toast. Only two were allowed (you might be able to sneak a third) but it was good.

Now cereal back then was fiberless, sugar coated, and bad for you in every way possible. So of course our bodies craved it like an addict in withdrawal. Cereal came in many types but the ones with color I liked the best.

So I would then fill up the bowl. To the rim it went. Now also on the table was a sugar bowl, unmixed with anything but pure sugar goodness. This I pull to me and commence to spoon in spoon after spoon. A good amount was always proper. Too much and mom got onto you. Too little and it would be only so so. This was followed by the milk.

This process occurred two times. Three if mom was in a good mood. And each time a little more sugar was added with milk, till after the last bowl you had the offering.

The milk in the bowl has changed. Now it was more then the parts, the milk, the sugar, and the remnants of the cereal coloring it. This colored milk had achieved something that no factory could reproduce. Under the surface was the sugar laying like mud in the bottom of the bowl waiting to be stirred up to deliver itself to you. At this point you took your spoon and stirred briskly to break the sugar up and spread it evenly through the milk. It would not do to drink the milk and end up with much of the sugar lying on in the bottom of the bowl, lost, uneaten. Then you bring the bowl up to your face and drink it down. The sugar so thick you feel it flow over your tongue like sand and stick to the walls of your mouth for a time later. This sacrament of youth. A perfect way to start your day refreshed.

But one day my cereal gave me an insight into the world that I did not like. It stays in the back of my head and whispers to me every once in a while.

My dad had company over and they had stayed the night. So the table was more crowded then normal. But breakfast still occurred as it always would. When the bowls of cereal were done. I swished it around and raised it to my face and was about to drink from it when my dad said, "don't do that, it’s not polite". I remember wondering what the heck he was talking about. This little thing I had done for all my youth. What changed? Why was it wrong that day? He then said the words that, for me taught me a large lesson; "we have company". I then realized what he meant. When people are around you have to act differently. I sat there and as instructed emptied the bowl out one small spoonful at a time, somehow it tasted wrong and I knew I did not like it.

I did not understand all of what happened there that day. It took a while to figure it out. To understand the enlightenment that occurred. Why must we act differently around other? Show people who we are. People are so fast to say "judge me as I am" but then they will not show the world what they are.

So I try in my life to show people me, to be honest and when I show caring, it means I care, and when I drink from the bowl at my house, I drink because that is me. - Gunner from Tennessee

Now, Gunner, please do not take this wrong, but I'm gonna add just a little bit to this. I fully believe that we should show our real selves to others, but, there are some parts that we should keep to ourselves. And there are some standards we should adhere to. And this is where manners come in.

For example, as I type this, I am sitting at my computer wearing underpants and a polo shirt. I may even decide to scratch a certain part of my anatomy. Is this the real me? Well, yeah. Do I want to share this with others? No, not really. That is why we have rules in society. And that is why your father thought that you drinking from the bowl, (And did you ever nail that. Talk about memories from childhood. I did the same thing.), even though it was the real you, was something that he thought you should not display to others. Would you do this at a restaurant?

Manners are rules that our parents (should) teach us so we can interact with society. "Get your elbows off the table!" "Don't eat with your fingers!" "Don't talk with your mouth full!" I live alone, so I drink right out of the milk carton. That's the real me, but if I have company, I use a glass.

In my previous post on rules, Elizabeth commented:

I agree with you, Addison, wholeheartedly. Didn't Heinlein once state, "Courtesy is the lubricant that keeps us from knifing each other?" At least that's the way I remember it. More people should, too.

Elizabeth, if you ever want to get on my good side, just state anything from Heinlein's philosophy. What I wouldn't have given to have spent an evening with that man. I guess in a way I have, since I've read everything he has written.

MonkeyPants, just made it onto my A-list of commenters by coming up with the exact quote:

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into the machinery that does not work too well at best.

Lazarus Long in “Time Enough For Love”

How did he do that? Man I love blogging!

Gunner is right that we should show as much of the real us to others, but there are some parts that should remain hidden, like me in my underwear, sitting in front of my computer, scratching myself.

Oh crap! I just farted!

The Rules

A troll is a subhuman lifeform. A troll is a cross between a banana slug and a pissant. One becomes a troll for one of two reasons:

1. The troll is too fucking stupid to have a blog.

2. The troll's blog is so lame that no one will go to it, so the troll goes to other sites hoping that people will follow a link back to the troll's blog. What is hilarious about this reasoning is why would anyone want to go to a troll's blog when the troll is incapable of presenting a rational argument on someone else's blog? But remember, trolls are inherently stupid.

Trolls are welcome at this site as long as they follow the rules. If a rule is broken, I will not ask the troll will leave. I will not tell the troll to leave. I will ban said troll and usually bitch slap the troll on the way out. I have been entirely too indulgent with my trolls. I guess I should know better, but, sometimes I think that trolls just might learn sumpin' from their intellectual superiors. Sadly, I am always proven wrong.

Here are said rules:

1. This is my blog. I make the rules. I enforce the rules. I am the final arbiter. If you have a problem with that, leave. I am probably smarter than you. If you were smart, you would have your own blog that people would want to frequent and you wouldn't be a troll. Addison and xCavTrooper are definitely smarter than you.

2. I enforce Godwin's Law. If you call someone a Nazi, you have lost the debate. A Nazi is someone who believes in racial genocide. A Nazi is a total monster. Do not cheapen the word by using it indiscriminately. You will be banned.

3. Do not start a thread with an insult. That immediately shows that you are a fucking idiot and are fair game and will be treated accordingly. If you are polite, we will be polite. Maybe. I decide. Unfair? See rule 1.

4. If you do insult me or others, try to make it an amusing insult. "Ha. Ha. Ha. You sure are stupid" is lame. "You have alzheimers" is lame. "If your brains were TNT, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose" is good. Come up with sumpin' like that and you can stay a little longer. I want to be amused. If I'm not amused you're gone. Why can I do that? See rule number 1.

5. Do not make idiotic comparisons or the 'everybody does it' defense. If I state Bill Clinton is a draft dodger (which, of course he is, and we will not debate that. Been there, done that.) don't bring up Bush's National Guard record. It has nothing to do with Clinton beyond the fact that Bush served, Clinton didn't. If we mention Hillary's book deal, we are discussing Hillary, not Newt Gingrich. Newt's deal has nothing to do with Hillary. Those rhetorical tricks will get you banned. I decide if any comparison's are valid. Don't like it? See rule number 1.

6. Make sure any links you post support your points. If they do not, I will call you on it. Do it more than once, and you're history. I decide whether the link is valid. Unfair? See rule number 1.

7. When asked a question do not respond with a question. Answer it. If you bob and weave and do not debate honestly you are gone. Why do I get to decide? See rule number 1.

8. When I declare you have lost a debate it's closed. Don't try and reopen it. Why do I get to do that? See rule number 1.

9. Do not deny facts that prove you are wrong just because they do not fit your beliefs. If you try that shit, you are outta here. I decide. Why me? See rule number 1.

10. Try to act like an adult. There are no timeouts here. If you act childish, you are gone. I don't like spoiled crybaby whiney types. I get to decide. Don't like it? See rule number 1.

11. I can make up additional rules as I go. Think that's unfair? Tough shit! See rule number 1.

I put up with enough bullshit at my job. I do not need it here.

Happy Mother's Day

I wrote this post last year. My sister liked it so much she printed it off and showed it to a bunch of our relatives when she was in St. Louis last year. She also showed it to our cousin, Patty, in Oklahoma City. I wanted to post a picture of my mother as a little girl, but I haven't bought a scanner yet. Maybe by next year.

This is my soft side. You won't see too much of it.

Have you ever looked at an old person and imagined what that person was like as a child? With some people it is inconceivable that they were ever children. With my mother, you could easily tell what she was like as a child, because she never lost her childlike love of parades, circuses, parties, and holidays.

I have a picture of my mother sitting on her mother's lap. She looks to be around three years old. As a child she was blond and had rosy cheeks and a sunny disposition. So, she was nicknamed Peachy. To the day she died, everyone in the family called her Peachy.

She was the youngest of three children and the most adventuresome. I always thought my Aunt Ginny and my Uncle Robert were exceptionally dull. Not so my mother.

She was a Girl Scout. I don't know if my aunt was, but I doubt it. There is no way I could ever picture her camping in the woods. When Amelia Ehrhart made a stop in St. Louis, Mom was the Girl Scout selected to present her with a bouquet of flowers.

High school cheerleaders used to be all male. The first year that Roosevelt High School, in St. Louis, had female cheerleaders, my mother was one of them. She showed me the article in the newspaper she had saved.

She had a friend, Janie, who loved to travel as much as Mom did. When they were around twenty years old, since this was the Depression and they had no money, they hitchhiked from St. Louis to the Grand Canyon. These were two young girls. No way they could do this today. They hiked to the bottom of the Canyon and spent Christmas with the CCC workers building Phantom Ranch. Think they had a good time? They were the only two girls there. Mom and Janie also thumbed their way down to Georgia. My sister has two little notebooks that my mother used to record expenses on these trips.

My mother met my father when she and a friend were canoeing on the Meramec River in Missouri. My father was canoeing with one of his friends. He got her number and the rest is history. They got married in 1939. Since my father worked for the railroad he got free travel privileges (like airline employees do today), and they went west for their honeymoon. I have a movie they took going through the Rockies.

My sister was born in 1942. My father went off to war, and when he returned in 1946, they had me.

In 1952, my father had a bad accident at work and sued the railroad company. He won. As a result, he lost his job. He used the settlement money to buy a new car and a bunch of camping equipment. This was before RV's. Everyone used tents or, if they had money, they bought trailers. They were nothing like the trailers of today. In the summer of 1953, we took off for five weeks and hit every state east of the Mississippi and two states west of the Mississippi. We also went as far north as Quebec City in Canada. Even though it was summer it was still cold at night in New England and Canada. I don't know how she did it but she managed to pack all the clothes we needed for the different climates we experienced.

We never had much money, but since both my parents liked to travel and liked to camp, almost every summer we would take off for two weeks and see the country. My dad drove, my sister navigated, and my mother thought of games to keep us occupied. I had been in 47 states by the time I was sixteen years old.

My mother always wanted to go to places outside of the country. My father, having spent WW II in Europe, had no desire to go back. After my sister moved to California, and I joined the Navy, she started her overseas trips. Still loving adventurous things, she went rafting on the Colorado River, through the Grand Canyon when she was in her sixties. When she retired, she, my sister, and my sister's husband hiked the Grand Canyon. Here was this little, sixtyfive year old woman with a backpack hiking the Canyon. At the end of the trip, when she reached the top, there were a bunch of hikers at the top who applauded.

But she wasn't finished. Two days later all of us went sailing in the Virgin Islands. It was a bareboat charter which means we sailed it ourselves. She went on three more sailing trips with us: Greece, the Grenadines, and the Florida Keys.

Fourteen years ago I had a freak accident and broke my back which left me partially paralyzed from the waist down. I had been to Europe a few times with my mother and now in my condition would be unable to travel. Wanna bet? After I had gotten out of a wheelchair and could walk with braces and crutches she suggested we go to England. It was a short flight and since there were a lot of old people on these tours I would be able to keep up. Previously, I had always taken care of the luggage. Now this little old lady in her seventies had to do it. My mother got me to Spain, Russia, Germany, Turkey, and Egypt. Europe, and especially places like Egypt and Turkey, are not very cripple friendly, but, with my mother's assistance, I made it.

She hated to sit around with nothing to do. Before my accident, on a trip to Italy, we had a free day and, since Venice was not in our itinerary, we took a night train from Rome to Venice, spent the day sightseeing, and took an evening train back to Rome. When in Turkey, we had a free day and she talked the tour guide into setting up a day trip to Troy. Travelling with my mother was always an adventure.

My father was an alcoholic and would lose jobs so my mother had to work. My sister and I also had to work. She had babysitting jobs and I did yard work and worked in the school cafeteria. My mother really knew how to stretch a dollar. My mother taught us self reliance and the fact that actions had consequences. My sister, being smarter, did well in school and won a four year scholarship to college. I flunked out of junior college. My mother welcomed me to the real world and told me I would now have to start paying room and board so I better get a job. This was the 60's. I was 1A, so I joined the Navy to learn electronics and stay out of Viet Nam. One out of two is not too bad. I learned electronics, but both of the ships I served on went to Viet Nam. I went back to college after the Navy, but burned out in my junior year, quit, and got a job with TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). I moved to Atlanta seventeen years ago to be a technical instructor with TCIDNN. My mother never tired of telling her friends that her college dropout son was now a teacher.

My mother had an ulcer and had surgery to remove part of her stomach. She had had two heart attacks. She had had a tumor removed from one of her breasts and took chemo for that. I remember she was talking to my friend Cindy after the tumor was removed and told Cindy she was not going on chemo because her cousin Rosemary had gotten very sick when she was on chemo. When Cindy asked what medication she was taking and she told her Cindy didn't tell her that that was chemo.

In her eighties, she developed macular degeneration. She could no longer drive at night and was worried that she might soon not be able to drive at all. This not only affected her, but all the other little old ladies she had to ferry around. The last time I saw her, she was blind in one eye.

My mother was the most active person I have ever met. She took aerobics, did line dancing and went on lots of one and two day trips with various organizations. We were at a night club in Egypt and the band started playing the macerena. Up jumped my mother to do the macerena! My sister and I had to buy her an answering machine since she was never at home and her friends could never get in touch with her.

We talked once a week. We alternated calling. It used to be on a Saturday, but we had to change, because she couldn't fit me in her schedule on a Saturday. We changed to Sunday morning. She only forgot to call once. So, one Sunday, when she didn't call, and she didn't answer when I called, I feared the worst. I had her cousins go to her condo and check and they found her dead. She had gone to a movie with friends on Saturday and returned home and died that night. She had dreaded going into a nursing or assisted living home so I'm glad that she was active to the very end. When my sister and I went to St. Louis to take care of affairs we found literature about activities for the blind. We also noted that her calendar was full of events for the next three months. Somehow I never thought that she would be able to ever fit dying into her busy schedule. She lived to be eighty five years old.

She died three years ago. Every Mother's Day I regret that I never told her how much I loved her and what a wonderful mother she was. She was one hell of a mom.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, where ever you are!

FAQ

For those of you dying to know more about me here are some FAQ's.

Are you really a cripple?

Yes. I am a T12/L1 incomplete paraplegic. In English that means I fractured my 12th thoracic and 1st lumbar vertebra. Incomplete means I have some sensation and functionality below my injury. I can walk with braces and crutches. That's how I'm gonna get my ass up the stairs and into the du Toit's 2nd floor apartment. Take that Kim, you grouchy old bastard!

Why do you call yourself a cripple? Isn't disabled a better word?

I am not politically correct. Cripple is a perfectly good word. If the word offends you, fuck off.

Are you old?

I was born in October of 1946. Do the math. Sometimes I feel like I'm in my 70's. That's because I'm a cripple.

Is that why you're grouchy?

Partially. I'm also grouchy from having to deal with idiots. I do not suffer fools gladly.

Aha! You feel sorry for yourself!

Piss on pity! I'm a cripple because I fucked up. It was no one's fault but my own. I take responsibility for my own actions. That's why I hate liberals. To a liberal it is always someone else's fault. I hate whining.

Do you think you deserve special treatment because you are a cripple?

No. But I do get pissed when I see able bodied people in handicapped parking spaces and handicapped restroom stalls. When I went back to work after my
accident, I didn't ask for special treatment and I didn't get any. My career took off because I outworked all my peers. I did not want anyone to say that the only reason I had a job was that I was a cripple. That is why I detest 'diversity' and 'affirmative action'. I have seen too many people use the color of their skin and their sex as excuses for failure. I don't give a shit if you are male or female; homosexual, monosexual, bisexual or any other kind of sexual; black, white, green, purple, or orange. Do your job and don't bitch about how badly the world has treated you.

Also, since my injury I have traveled to England, Spain, Germany, Egypt, Italy, Turkey, and Russia. I SCUBA dive. I snow ski. I have also solo'ed in an airplane. The only reason I do not have a pilot's license is the FAA will not let me fly on some of the legal drugs I am on. I am not an inspiration. I believe in Jack London's words, "The purpose of life is to live, not to exist."

Where are you from?

I grew up in Webster Groves, Missouri. I have lived in the Atlanta area since 1985. I currently reside at GOC Central in Dunwoody, Georgia.

Education

Three years of college.

Military?

United States Navy 1965-1969. Electronics technician. Spent 14 months on the USS Comstock, LSD-19 and 22 months on the USS Iredell County, LST-839.

What do you do for a living?

I am a systems programmer who works with mainframes.

Mainframes? Aren't they dead?

Nope. Still alive and kicking. And, I get paid very well for my knowledge.

Where do you work?

I work for a company I call TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). When I quit working for it, I will identify it by its real name.

Do you have any family?

I have a sister who is 4 years older than I am. She's smarter than I am. She also hates it when I use the words fuck or fucking on my blog. I come from an interesting family. Turns out my fraternal grandmother's father, a randy old goat named Cyrus Freeman married twice. He wore his first wife out, my great grandmother, by letting her bear 12 of his children. He had 7 children by his second wife. He liked 'em young. They were both 17 when he married them. My sister does genealogy. She's learned a lot about our family.

What? No wife and kids?

Nope. I was married once. Didn't work. To paraphrase Groucho Marx talking about country clubs, I wouldn't want to marry anyone dumb enough to have me for a husband. Remember, I am a Grouchy Old Cripple.

Any pets?

Yep! I have two cats:

Scooter

Ashley

What is your political philosophy?

I am a small l liberatarian. I do not think the Constitution is a 'living document'. Gun control is unconstitutional. Campaign finance reform is unconstitutional. I believe very strongly in the Bill of Rights. Our Founding Fathers would not recognize our gummint as it exists today.

The main purpose of gummint is to protect its citizens and provide necessary infrastructure and services. There is nothing in the Constitution about social engineering.

The biggest danger facing the Republic today is the Dimocratic Party. I'm not all that impressed with the Republicans either. Both parties are turning this country into a socialist state. The Republicans are just not doing it as quickly.

I hate hearing Dickhead Gephardt talking about 'life's lottery'. Life is not a lottery. Opportunities abound to become wealthy in this country. The key is education and hard work.

I hate hearing the Dimocrats talk about 'fairness', especially in regard to the tax system. I agree. It isn't fair. It's not fair to take 40% of what I make (That's right. 40%. Total up all the taxes: sales, gas, real estate, excise, income, miscellaneous bullshit.) and then turn around and give it to parasites who expect me to support them and the kids that they irresponsibly breed. That isn't fair you socialist bastards. I think if a woman goes on public assistance she should be sterilized. If she expects me to support the kids she has, I don't want her having any more.

This is off the top of my head. Post any questions in the comments and I'll expand.

The English Language

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time and seeing the Acidman's Trivia post reminded me.

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought
it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
row.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a
guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural
of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an
odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play
at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in
which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of
course, is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible,
but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
__________________________________

And for a bonus question: How do you pronounce ghoti?

Random Ramblings

The latest Carnival of the Vanities is up at Common Sense and Wonder and I'm in it. I'm flattered as this is the second time.

I was in last week when Clubbeaux compiled it and I neglected to link him. I aplogize. I'm getting old. But he should be getting lots of hits this week with Bill Whittle and Den Beste, uh, disagreeing with him.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Last night's rant was inspired by Andrea Harris. I will be posting Rules for Trolls shortly. I will also be posting FAQ's.

Tonight's post is in the style of Acidman. He's labeled some of his stuff crap. I guess I enjoy reading crap.

If someone asked me if I had two bloggers to sit down and have a few beers with, they would be Acidman and Kim du Toit. Those two bastards would drink me under the table.

I'm on Kim du Toit's blogroll. I have never met him personally but we have corresponded. I am honored to have him as a friend. I would hate to have him as an enemy. I wouldn't mess with his wife, Connie, either. I think she's cool. One day I shall meet both of them in person. And yes Kim, you grouchy old bastard, I will be able to get up the stairs into your second floor apartment.

Rachel Lucas and I started blogging about the same time. I've been doing this a little over a year. Counting my blogspot domain, I have had about 45,000 hits. She's had a gazillion. She writes better than I; she's smarter than I; and she owns guns. I am honored to have her as a friend. I would really hate to have her as an enemy.

I love Kate. I joined her Slutertarian Party. I read her stuff. I wish she'd read mine, but I'm not gonna beg.

That brings up links. I am flattered when people link to me. If, however, someone delinks me, I don't really care. This whole linking/delinking stuff is a pile of crap. I write this blog for me. If I receive an e-mail saying I've just been delinked, I'm gonna go to my pantry and open up a big old can of I don't give a flying fuck.

How come I can't think up funny stuff like this?

My sister and my friend Brian hate it when I use fuck.

My sis' neighbor likes it when I use the word fuck.

I love it when people call Addison a cracker. Heh. Heh. Heh. I think Addison does too.

I wish Toren Smith would start blogging again.

I hate the French. If you have a problem with that I still have that can of I don't give a flying fuck open.

I love it when people call my sis' neighbor a white racist bigot. Heh. Heh. Heh. I think he does too.

I think Bill Clinton is a scumbag. Wait a minute. I know Bill Clinton is a scumbag.

I think Hillary Clinton is more of a man than Bill Clinton. I don't want to see the proof.

I think Tom Dasshole is a dwarf.

GMAFB!

GMAFBII

The only campaign finance law I believe in is full disclosure.

I believe all gun control laws are unconstitutional except the ones prohibiting felons from owning guns. If I want an assault rifle, I don't want it to blow away Bambi. I want it to blow away the sonuvabitch who's breaking into my home.

I am in love with Linda Cardinelli. Scooby-freaking-doo!

If you think I have a foul mouth, just remember that profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker.

If you plan on insulting me, please try to find something that will amuse me. Calling me a Nazi, a racist, a bigot, or simply stupid lacks originality. I will ridicule you. If you think this is unfair see This Is My Blog

President Bush is informed that a meteor will strike Paris at 1130 PM unless we launch a missile to destroy it. He now has an incredibly difficult decision to make. Should he stay up and watch the destruction of Paris live or should he tape it and watch it the next day?

Molly Ivins is an idiot. Godammit! Misha got to this before I could.

My sister makes the best apple pie in the world. She's moving to Asheville, North Carolina. Three hours away! Yummmy!

Last minute addition. Why can't I think up shit like this?

If you are a blogger and you want people to read your shit, get the fuck off Blogspot. I don't want to wait two hours for your blog to load. And the permalinks are usually permafucked! (Why can't I think of shit like that? Did Kate say that? I think so. I gotta start writing this shit down.) Neither does anyone else unless you write really well. We can't all be Tim Blair. Yeah, I sound like a reformed hooker since I spent 6 months on Blogspot myself. My hosting service is $11/month and I know someone who will set you up on Movable Type for a fee.

Gotta go read what the smart people are writing and work on my FAQ post. See ya tomorrow.

Dear Senator Byrd

Dear Senator Byrd,

Picture courtesy of Neal Boortz

Who is this? What's he wearing? Where is he?

Since you're a senile old idiot, I'll tell you.

Who is this? Bill 'BJ' Clinton.

What's he wearing? A flight jacket.

Where is he? The USS Theodore Roosevelt. Teddy actually served in the military as did George Bush. Clinton is a draft dodger.

Go back to sleep and quit drooling!

Sincerely,

Grouchy Old Cripple

This is My Blog

Last year, after the Dimocratic primary, when Denise Majette, defeated Cynthia McKinney (Can I have an amen!!!), my friend Michael remarked that my writing lacked passion. I just didn't seem the same person without 'the cutest little communist in Congress' to bitch about. And he was right. I go through cycles and it seems sometimes I forget that I am supposed to be a Grouchy Old Cripple! I'm not supposed to be nice to people. I'm supposed to tell dipshits to go fuck off. I mean, this is my blog and I make the rules here. Sometime later this year, I will post some rules, but until then, here are some of the truths I hold to be self-evident. That means we do not debate them. If you don't like that, tough shit! You may be excused now.

Bill Clinton is a scumbag. He is a disgrace as a husband (Altho' if I were married to Hillary, Paula Jones probably would look good. If you are reading this on a full stomach I'm sorry, but can you just imagine Hillary naked? Ewwwww!) and a father. I don't want to hear anything about the Bush twins. This is not about George Bush. This is about Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton is a draft dodger. I don't want to hear anything about Bush's national guard service. That has nothing to do with Bill Clinton being a draft dodger other than Bush served, Clinton didn't. If you do not believe this, tough shit! I will not debate this. If you have a problem with this you may go to www.youareafuckingidiot.com

Senator Robert Byrd is a senile, racist, hypocritical old man. And here goes the Grand Kleagle again Bush Thrashed by Byrd. Hey howza 'bout lynched? The old fart would probably be more comfortable with that. Hey Bob, is your sheet back from the cleaners yet?

"I am loath to think of an aircraft carrier being used as an advertising backdrop for a presidential political slogan, and yet that is what I saw,'' Byrd told his colleagues, calling the event "flamboyant showmanship."

Yeah, but it was OK for Clinton to give a speech on an aircraft carrier. And in case anyone forgot, the Clinton party left the carrier with whole big bunches of souvenirs. It gave them lots of practice for looting the White House. And for the kicker, howza 'bout Clinton on the beach at Normandy kneeling down and making a cross out of pebbles? Givce me a fucking break. It was bad enough that we had a fucking draft dodger dishonoring the dead at Normandy just by his presence, but if that wasn't a craven political act I don't know what was. But Senator 'Name every road, building, lake, parking lot, and land fill in West Virginia after me' Byrd, continues:

"I do not begrudge his salute to America's warriors aboard the carrier Lincoln, for they have performed bravely ... but I do question the motives of a desk-bound president who assumes the garb of a warrior for the purposes of a speech,'' he said.

Yeah and I questioned the motives of a fat-assed cowardly draft dodger who assumed the garb of a warrior for a speech on an aircraft carrier. Where was your outrage then you sanctimonious bastard? I suggest you go to www.callsomeonewhogivesafuck.com. Oh shit! No one's home. Kinda like your moral compass.

Hillary Clinton is the most dangerous woman in America and anyone who voted for her in New York needs to have his/her head examined. At least Bill has no core beliefs, so, he passed welfare reform to get re-elected in 1996. Hillary does and she's a fucking communist. Hillary is one of those people who think that the only reason socialism has never worked anywhere it has been tried is because the right people have not been in charge. And this is not subject to debate. If you ask me to prove that that is what Hillary is thinking, I will ask you to provide another reason, any reason at all, why socialists like Hillary, in light of all the failures of socialism throughout the 20th Century, all the people who were murdered by Stalin, all the people who have been murdered by the Chinese and the Vietnamese, all the people enslaved and starving in North Korea, and all the people who brave shark infested waters to escape the prison known as Cuba, think that they can succeed where all others have failed. If you can answer that simple little question, Maybe we can talk.

But this is my blog and if you don't like it start your own blog and don't annoy me with trying to prove how fucking clever you are. And if you have a problem with that,

Shame on France

Shit! I've turned into a tolerant old softie. Look at how they handled the dipshit at Sgt. Stryker's site. I'm never gonna llive this down.

I'm half in the bag tonight and really don't feel like writing too much so I just thought I would post some French pictures. Maureen, the French actively opposed us in the war. That alone would justify a boycott of French products, which is happening now. Did you know that since tourism is down, the French are planning a big advertising campaign this summer? I can see the slogan now: "Visit France. We won't be as rude to you as we normally are." Or how about, "Visit France. We promise to bathe more than once a month"?

Click on images to make them larger.

Say goodnight Adolph.

Iraqi Horrors!

Yesterday my friends Michael and Cindy had me over to their house for dinner and I have a confesssion to make. With the cheese course we drank a (gasp!!) Burgundy. It was a 1992 and it was already paid for so we couldn't really throw it out. Let's just say we were helping to remove French wines from Michael's cellar. Yeah! That's the ticket. And I have another confession to make. I have two cases of 2000 Bordeaux sitting down at Green's. These were futures I contracted for year before last. You don't expect me to stiff a good friend like Michael do you? And Parker says these wines are as good as the 1995's and Michael told me that some of them have already doubled from my contracted price. The downside is they won't be ready to drink for another 5 years or more, but that's what wine cellars are for. And who knows? In another five years we might be friends with France again. I doubt it, but I'm pretending to be a liberal and I'm lying to myself.

After dinner we watched two shows on the History Channel about Saddam Hussein and golly, we're all wrong about him. He was a product of his childhood. His mother didn't want him so he was raised by his uncle, until the uncle had to go to prison. Young Saddam then went back to live with his mother and stepdad who physically abused him. When the uncle got out of prison, young Saddam went back to live with him. His uncle had him stealing goats for a while and gave him a gun when he was ten years old. The gun promptly murdered someone. The liberals among us will attest that it had to be the gun that did the crime and Saddam was a victim of the gun. Evil, evil gun! And if only Saddam had been given more self esteem in the Iraqi school system he would have turned out all right.

If you get a chance to see either of these programs do. They should be required watching for Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, and Mike Farrell. Since Mike is so anti-capital punishment the Jews hanging in the square and the firing squad execution, with Uday walking by the bodies and shooting a gun at them to ensure they were dead was a nice touch.

Some of the tortures were original. They especially liked using ceiling fans. One nice little exercise involved tying the arms to the fan, turning on the fan and holding the legs until the body twisted so much that the back broke. It is incomprehensible that such cruelty existed. How can humans do that to other humans?

Did anyone read Ann Coulter's column last week? She talks about how disappointed the liberals are about the three week quagmire. And, dammit, since nothing else seemed to go wrong in the war (no massive civilian casualties, no massive soldier casualties, no Vietnam) all they can bitch about is the looting. Ann writes:

Now the biggest mishap liberals can seize on is that some figurines from an Iraqi museum were broken – a relief to college students everywhere who have ever been forced to gaze upon Mesopotamian pottery. We're not talking about Rodins here. So the Iraqis looted. Oh well. Wars are messy. Liberalism is part of a religious disorder that demands a belief that life is controllable.

At least we finally got liberals on the record against looting. It seems the looting in Iraq compared unfavorably with the "rebellion" in Los Angeles after the Rodney King verdict. When "rebels" in Los Angeles began looting, liberals said it was a sign of frustration – they were poor and hungry. As someone noted at the time, apparently they were thirsty as well, since they hit a lot of liquor stores. Meanwhile, the Iraqis were pretty careful about targeting the precise source of their oppression. Their looting concentrated on Saddam's palace, official government buildings – and the French cultural center.

Much wailing and gnashing of teeth (Fortunately, no rending of garments. There are some people I definitely do not want to see naked.) about all the destroyed antiquities. Oh the horror! The dastardly American military did not protect the museums! But now, I came across this article in Monday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.

Baghdad, Iraq --- The vast majority of the Iraqi trove of antiquities feared stolen or broken have been found inside the National Museum in Baghdad, according to American investigators who compiled an inventory over the weekend of the ransacked galleries.

The single most valuable missing piece is the Vase of Warka, a white limestone bowl dating from 3000 B.C.

Huh? How can this be? 38 pieces? Is that all? Holy shit! What are the liberals gonna bitch about now? Next thing you know, we're gonna find documentation that there are links between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda. What? We have? I'm shocked! Shocked I say! Well, I guess we can always fall back on WMD's and, of course, the liberal mantra, "where is Osama bin Laden?" Barney doesn't like to hear me say this, but if we haven't seen hide nor hair of the asshole, it makes me think he's on the run. And if he's on the run, he's scared shitless. How come no videotapes?

And for those of you wanting to hear updates on our German project at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name), I missed last week's conference call because I was sick. Sometimes being sick is a blessing. And this week's conference call, which I didn't even realize was scheduled, was canceled. We essentially have two proposals on the table: one is for $1.5 million per year and the other is for $1.75 million a year, and, according to my team lead, the project manager pretty much told 'em to pick one or none. What? Some negotiating skills? What's going on here? I stay home from work one day and the project manager grows a set of balls! What's up with that?

And finally, I have joined the Slutertarian Party and I am a Party official. I am officially the Secretary For Keeping Out Obnoxious Fktards (SECFKOFF). I realize I'm not doing a very good job by allowing barney to stay (and yes, barney, I just sank to your level), but I just love reading xCavTrooper bitchslap him. The only person who thinks barney is winning is barney. But then, the things that liberals do best is lie to themselves.

I Love Trolls

I love trolls. I really do. It's like having your own personal Robert Fisk. Also, I get to read the comments of xCavTrooper as he totally eviscerates them. Addison does a good job also. Unfortunately, after you throw enough facts and logic at them they slink away. Matthew lasted about two weeks here. The folks over at Rantburg really miss Murat. Here's hoping that barney will stick around a while because he is just so much fun to play with and is a textbook example of how liberals debate. xCavTrooper has documented lots of this in the previous week's comments.

A good example of chutzpah, is someone who murders both of his parents and then throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. Follwing is another example of chutzpah from barney in one of his comments from yesterday:

You forgot the one from the Conservative playbook, declare victory and run away. You've been thoroughly spanked. Dimmy bravely ran away, away. When danger reared its ugly head, Dimmy turned his tail and fled.

Fulbright? Ran away.
Hillary's Book? Ran away.
Clinton doing nothing to catch terrorists? Ran away.
Cuba's dry foot policy? I had to teach you what it was, then you ran away.
Bush caring about little Elian? Ran away.
War costing $20B + $2B a month? Ran away.
Jay Bookmans editorial? I had to explain it to you, then you ran away.
Bush's National Guard Service? Ran away.
OBL' courage? Spanked you. You ran away.

and I didn't even get to: "The current economic downturn started during Clinton's last year in office." Then why didn't GWB mention it during the campaign? His line was that the economy was so *good* that we needed the tax cuts.

Denny-can-I-call-you-Dimmy, you claim many more victories like these and you're going to be the France of the internet.

I'm still trying to figger out where he said I claimed victory and ran away. OK Let's examine this a bit. You notice right from the start, he starts calling me names. That's one of the things liberals do when they are losing arguments. In an earlier comment he called me a Nazi, and I had every right to invoke Godwin's Law, but I didn't.

Let's examine the arguments that I ran away from.

Fulbright - Google Clinton Fulbright vietnam and see what you get. There are countless places on the net that document exactly how Fulbright pulled strings for Clinton and got him out of the draft. I'll let my readers decide this one.

Liberal ploy - any source that doesn't agree with your argument is suspect.

Hillary's book - Hillary got $8 million on a book deal and she was cleared of wrong doing by the Senate Ethics (oxymoron altert) Committee. I'll give barney this one, really. It's the truth. I just pointed out that, in my opinion, it was unethical. Of course, barney didn't mention the Clinton pardons.

Liberal ploy - Everyone does it. Look at Newt Gingrich. OK. Newt was censured and paid a fine. He took his lumps like a man.

Clinton doing nothing to capture terrorists - barney suggested this link Cool. I asked him about the embassy bombings in Africa, more specifically, Kenya and Tanzania. He called me an idiot (always use name calling) and said the Saudis beheaded them. I said no the embassy bombings. He still stuck to the Khobar Towers and the marine barracks. According to his link, four people have been captured and 16 remain at large. So some of the people have been caught. Interestingly enough, on the eve of Monica Lewinski's testimony, Clinton lobbed some cruise missiles into the Sudan and wiped out an aspirin factory and lobbed some into Afghanistan and took out some goats. Evidently Clinton didn't do enough since we had the Cole and 9/11. And more on the Afghanistan strike a little later in this post.

Cuba's dry foot policy - barney said he had to teach me about a policy that had absolutely nothing to do with Elian. Even under Bush's policy, not that it matters, Elian would have been allowed to stay because he made it to shore. And he took me to task for calling the federal agents who kicked in the door and scared the bejesus out of Elian goons. "Those were federal agents", he said. What do you want to bet that barney thinks John Ashcroft is a Nazi? And any federal agent who kicks in a door in the name of national security is a Nazi and a goon? This is one area where I somewhat agree with barney, except I'm more consistent. I think excessive force was used to get Elian from the house. I think that bullshit is wrong no matter who is president. I believe, and I may be wrong, that barney thinks only federal agents are Nazis during Republican administrations.

Liberal ploy - make false comparisons.

War costing $20 billion + $2 billion a month - Dammit! I worked out the math for him. Something only costs what you actually spend on it. I even gave him an example. Suppose a bank lent him $10,000 to buy a car. He found a car for $5,000 and bought it instead. How much did the car cost? I guess barney would say it cost $10,000. If we continue to spend $2 billion a month for another 15 months, then the war will cost $79 billion. Once again, I will let my readers decide who is right. BTW, he chided us for getting all of our news from right wing news organizations. So, I gave him this link and he still wasn't satisfied.

liberal ploy - Ignore all facts and logic that does not conform to your beliefs. Even when these facts come from left wing sources.

Jay Bookman's editorial I had to explain it to you - No, you actually called me stupid because I didn't understand it. You never explained it to me. Even Jay Bookman couldn't explain it to me. To you it made sense, because you are a liberal. Y'all think different from the rest of us.

Liberal ploy - Lie and call names

Bush's National Guard service - Bush served Clinton didn't. It's as simple as that. Clinton was a draft dodger. Bush wasn't. Bush didn't show up for a physical. Well neither did Clinton. See previous links. Once again, I'll let my readers decide.

Liberal ploy - Slam the other guy. False comparison.

Osama bin Laden's Courage - This came about from the liberal ploy of defining the war against terrorism as catching Osama bin Laden. I said that I think binny is either hiding in a cave somewhere or is pushing up daisies. barney gave me this link to NPR to support his statement that binny was alive and well and still raising hell. Funny, I saw nothing there about bin Laden after 9/11. But here's sumpin' from that same transcript about Clinton's missile strike:

It is not known why the Americans chose a camp in Khost to retaliate. The camp was an almost deserted camp where only few Arabs have stayed, with a neighboring camp of Kashmiris. Bin Laden himself was hundreds of miles away, and the rest of Arab Afghans were in the northern front celebrating their recent victories.

Remember, Clinton said he just missed him by a few hours. Anyway, back to binny. The last time we saw him he looked like shit. He had his left arm dangling with his hand behind his back. Binny is lefthanded. We've had a few audio tapes from him, maybe, but I think he's scared shitless or dead. Why no more videotapes? Once again, I leave it up to my readers.

Liberal ploy - Lie like hell. Provide a link that does not support your view. Maybe no one will actually go read it.

And, I'm sorry I misunderstood your question about my statement that liberals think the only reason socialism has never worked is because the right people have not been in charge or enough money has not been thrown at it. I thought you were asking about examples of failed socialist countries. I didn't realize you were asking me what liberals said that. Sorry can't name one. Why do you think socialism has never worked anywhere it has been tried? Or if you don't agree with that statement, why do you think socialism failed in the USSR, Cuba, the Warsaw Pact nations, Zimbabwe, and coming soon France (10% unemployment and getting worse with a looming Muslim problem) and Germany (High unemployment and still trying to recover from reunification with East Germany.).

Liberal ploy - Unknown. We'll see how he responds. I'm really curious to hear the real reasons that socialism has failed from a liberal.

I want you all to realize, that I just responded to all of barney's accusations, and, at no time did I resort to name calling and other invective, unless he considers being called a liberal is offensive. We'll see if he can respond in kind.

Betcha he can't.

Test For Professionalism

Before the test, let's look in on Elmer Fudd.

Sent to me by Ralph Gizzip. As always, if anyone knows the creator(s) let me know so I can give credit.

I have been having so much fun with my new troll, barney gumble, in my comments that it has taken time from my regular writing. That's probably barney's raison d'etre. He has broken out the entire liberal playbook. For example, when losing an argument, call your opponent a Nazi. He also presents false facts, illogical moral equivalencies, and changes the subject. I think I'm gonna have to create a new category called troll bashing and start posting the best of Matthew, who no longer comes by, and barney. Check out the comments and try not to laugh too hard. Remember, liberal minds work differently than normal minds. Logic is not included.

Anyway, here is a test for professionalism.

The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or
not you are qualified to be a professional. The questions are not that
difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and
close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple
things in a complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and shut
the refrigerator.

Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator!
This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking.

OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one
may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a
professional.

4. You come upon a crocodile-infested river. How do you cross it
safely?

Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are
attending the animal meeting! This question tests your reasoning
ability.

If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true
professional. Wealth and success await you.

If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do
but there's hope for you.

If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger
flipper in a fast food joint.

If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs.
It's the only way you will ever make any money.

If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not
require any higher mental functions at all, such as politics.

Source unknown.

Comments Fixed

Comments fixed thanks to Rachel Lucas. Thanks Rachel. Now we can go back to teasing the troll.

A Liberal Mind

OK class. Pay attention. Tonight we are gonna discuss the liberal mind. Remember, in most cases, liberal brains function entirely differently than normal brains as they deal with emotions and the way they would like to see things work rather than facts and the way things actually work. For example, a liberal believes that the only reasons that socialism has never worked anywhere it has been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge and enough money hasn't been available to finance it. They also believe that they can circumvent the law of supply and demand by using wage and price controls. Nope. Never works.

Another example comes from my newest troll, barney grumble, who stated about my taking Clinton to task for sending in a goon squad to grab little Elian Gonzales and sending him back to Cuba

--Bush cared about little Elian so much he's had two years to change Cuba policy and hasn't. Right now, if they don't make it to shore, the Coast Guard takes them back to Cuba. Even if the boat had little Elian on it.

What the fuck does that have to do with Clinton sending him back? And anyway, to further confound barney's liberal logic, Elian made it to shore, so, Bush wouldn't have sent him back, unlike barney's hero, Billy Boy Clinton. Like I said, a liberal's mind is a wondrous thing.

Now, let's look at another example from Jay Bookman's column from Thursday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. Jay claims that he was once a Republican and even voted for Gerald Ford, but the Republican Party left him. I don't know what Republican Party he was talking about, since Jay is to the left of Lincoln Chafee, and Chafee is about as liberal as the Republican Party has ever been.

The president's proposed $726 billion tax cut is not an economic policy. It is a crass appeal to greed, pitched to a nation conditioned to believe that greed is not a vice but a downright virtue.

And prime examples of that are Bill and Hillary Clinton. They've made greed an art form, from selling pardons to skirting Senate ethics (an oxymoron) laws by signing an $8 million book deal right before being sworn in to the Senate. I guarantee if a Republican had signed a book deal like Hillary's right before joining the Senate, the liberals would have howled with rage. Barney would have been one of 'em.

Now see if you can understand this logic.

The money that the tax cut would allegedly "return" to the taxpayer never came from the taxpayer in the first place. Every penny that taxpayers send to the federal government is spent by the federal government.

Huh? Say what?

First, the gummint wouldn't be 'returning' any money to us. It would simply let us keep more of our own money by not taking so much of it in the first place. But, to a liberal, all the money belongs to the state. Only a socialist would count money the gummint never received as the gummint's money. And second, why does the gummint have to spend everything sent to it? My investment income has gone down, so I've cut back on my spending. Unfortunately, gummint doesn't do that.

So how is it possible to "return" what has already been spent?

Good question Jay. And the answer is ...

The same dollar cannot be spent twice. The myth of "return" is a fiction, a cover story, concocted to soothe what little conscience we have left about such matters.

But since the gummint cannot return what it hasn't received, since a tax cut would let us keep more of our own money, I guess the gummint is spending money it doesn't have. That is known as deficit spending. And as long as we're talking about myths, howza 'bout the myth of the SSTF (Social Security Trust Fund)? Jay says a dollar can't be spent twice? He's wrong. It can. The politicians, both Republicans and Dimocrats, have been raiding the SSTF for years. The only thing in the SSTF is a bunch of IOU's that will have be redeemed by the gummint, meaning you and me. So, the politicians are spending the money now, and then later they'll have to redeem the IOU's to spend it again. Now that's spending a dollar twice.

In reality, we're going to borrow all of that $727 billion or $550 billion or whatever the final figure ends up to be. We will pocket the proceeds, then dump the obligation of paying it back onto children who are not yet old enough to shave or wear makeup, or who haven't even been born yet.

Y'know, maybe we could cut spending. Let me at the budget. Anything that says West Virginia gets cut. That'll probably knock off $10 billion right there. I bet I could find another $100 billion without too much trouble.

Here's how fast our national debt -- more accurately, our children's and grandchildren's debt -- is piling up: Just a year ago, the legal ceiling for federal debt was an enormous $5.95 trillion. Congress then voted to raise it to $6.4 trillion. By the end of this month, they will vote to raise it yet again, to $7.38 trillion.

I know. Let's raise taxes. That always zips the economy right out of recession doesn't it? It worked for Herbert Hoover. The first thing we need to do is get the economy growing again. The only thing wrong with the tax cuts enacted so far, is the largest part of them do not take effect for another three years. We need stimulus now.

The $79 billion cost of the war so far has simply been added to the tab.

Sorry Jay. The war cost $20 billion and will cost another $2 billion per month. I read it in the Urinal and Constipation on April 18. I would provide the link, but the AJC's are only good for seven days. And, when I Google 'War costs rocket', Google brings up a link to my page. But look what I get when I Google 'Iraq war costs'.

Here's another deception used to justify our greed: The tax cut will prod the economy out of its doldrums.

If it were immediate and large enough it would. The free market spends money much more efficiently than gummint does.

In reality, economists are all but unanimous in stating that this tax cut will have very little short-term effect,

Because it's mostly phased in in later years.

but adding to the deficit will actually harm the economy in the future. This week, Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan reiterated what he told Congress in February: Do not pass any tax cut that further increases the federal deficit.

Or howza 'bout reining in spending? We never hear about cutting spending.

The only thing that makes sense is the last paragraph when Alan Greenspan weighs in. All the rest is an example of liberal logic at work.

A liberal mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Bill Versus George

I read somewhere that Bill Clinton whined to friends that he never had anything that happened during his presidency (like WWII) that would have allowed him to rise to greatness. I disagree. He had many events and he flunked all of them.

He had the first WTC bombing. Nope.

He had the embassy bombings. He bit his lip, promised to bring the people responsible to justice, and went back to the Oval Office and got a blowjob.

He had the Khobar Towers bombing. He bit his lip, promised to bring the people responsible to justice, went back to the Oval Office and got a blowjob.

He had the USS Cole. He bit his lip, promised to bring the people responsible to justice, went back to the Oval Office and got a blowjob.

He had Waco. He let Janet Reno barbeque a bunch of religious fanatics.

He had Elian. He scared the living shit out of a little kid and sent him back to a totalitarian state and allowed his mother to die for nothing.

And when he was shown to be the total slimeball that he was, he didn't have the class to resign rather than (unlike Nixon) drag the country through the agony of impeachment and spare his family the shame of letting the entire country know just what an incredible disgrace of a human being he was.

So, Bill had all sorts of chances to rise to greatness. But, instead, he used the power of the US military to take out some goats in Afghanistan and an aspirin factory in the Sudan to try to distract the country from Monica's testimony.

In Clinton's defense, did any of y'all hear Hillary's screeching in Connecticut the other night. I heard a soundbite from it on Imus this morning, and now, I can understand why Clinton was making it with a fat intern. Jesus, anything, even Paula Jones, had to be better than living with that bitch. What a fucking shrew!

And dontcha just know that ol' Billy boy must be green with envy right now?
I stole the following picture from the Acidman.

I can't imagine Clinton sitting right-hand seat in a jet for two reasons: His lard ass wouldn't fit and he is too much of a pussy. And, I'll be willing to bet that after takeoff, the pilot let Bush take the controls and do some flying.

We now have a president that we can be proud of and I just know it drives the Clintons and the rest of the Dimocrats nuts. And I love it.

He gave a great speech tonight and the sailors on the Abraham Lincoln loved him. Dontcha just know that the military is happy they have a commander-in-chief that they can be proud of? Didja see just how much the squids loved him? I just know they are much happier that they don't have a worthless draft-dodger as a commander-in-chief.

I know I am.

The more popular the President gets, the more shrill Hillary gets.

And I just love it.