As you can probably tell, I'm blogging more because I am now retired and I've got to throw up as much anti-Kerry stuff as possible before the election.
Sent to me by Damon.
This was sent to me by my buddy Pres.
Then they vote?? Your future is in their hands......?
Comforting to live in an age of "one idiot, one vote".
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the
east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't
keep up with that stuff."
And then she voted.
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I
got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week".
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said, "Uh. Pacific."
And then he voted.
So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
And then she voted.
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through
a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's
map pocket.
And then she voted.
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
And then they all voted.
I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
And then she voted.
My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place
last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?"
To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
And then he voted.
My wife and I were trying to find a carry-on suitcase in one of those huge discount stores and had become hopelessly lost. We stopped and asked a department manager where we might find suitcases. "Did you try in Luggage?" she asked, and returned to what she was doing.
And then she voted.
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
And then she voted.
And I have one to add to this. Right before the Atlanta Olympics someone from New Mexico tried to buy some tickets. The person taking the order said that they only sent tickets to places in the US. The person ordering the tickets said that New Mexico was indeed in the United States. Getting nowhere with that person he asked to speak to her supervisor. She said the policy was to only send tickets to places in the United States. He tried to explain to her that New Mexico was a state. Her response? "New Mexico, old Mexico, it makes no difference."
They probably also vote and I can guarntee you that they vote for Dimocrats.
The Florida fiasco pointed out that there are some people entirely too stupid to vote.
My opinion is that only people who pay taxes should be allowed to vote. That would eliminate a lot of Dimocrats right there.
I also believe that unless you can identify your two senators and your congressman you should not be allowed to vote. That would eliminate even more Dimocrats.
Stupid people should not be allowed to vote.
Here are two links Charlieb asked me to post. Since he sends me so much material, how can I refuse?
Last night I went to Michael and Cindy's for my birthday dinner. Every year she knits me a sweater for my birthday. Here's a picture of the one she knitted this year.
Purty ain't it?
I was wrong. Apparently he is alive and he just endorsed John Fonda Kerry.
I'm John Kerry and I approved this message.
You can tell he favors Kerry since he uses many Dimocrat talking points. Plus, he has obviously seen Farenheeit 9/11 and is a Michael Moore fan.
I just read that we have not seen the whole tape and the missing portions would be favorable to Bush since he blames him for the disruption in the al Qaeda organization.
Tom Daschle is in a tough fight to maintain his Senate seat. Here he is speaking to one of the core (or is that corpse) constituencies of the Dimocrat Party.
I'm sorry, I'm preempting my normal Saturday Boobage feature to present another public service announcement that Randy sent me.
GOOD TOWEL-HEADS / BAD TOWEL-HEADS
In light of recent world events, there has been much discussion about "Towel-heads" It is unfair to profile and characterize all "towel-heads" as bad or evil. In fact, there are some good "towel-heads."
In fact, it is your civic duty to be able to distinguish between good and evil towel-heads! Suppose, for instance, you were walking down a dark alley and encounter a towel-head ... what would you do?
Knowing the difference between good and evil is paramount. The difference between some Uzi carrying dirt-bag, camel humping bad towel-head and a good towel-head can sometimes be the difference between life and death.
So that you can make a clear distinction, I have attached photographs of a bad towel-head and a good "Towel-head." You must study the pictures carefully so that you will not confuse the two in a moment of indecision . . . it could save your life!
Now then.....
Here is a bad Towel-head
Here is a good Towel-head.
My buddy Richard took some pictures at my retirement luncheon. Now y'all get to see what I look like today. BTW, I get most of my Monday puns from Richard.
Here is Richard and the grouchy one.
Here is my buddy Wahoo with me. Wahoo spends a lot of time wishing he could kick me in the ass, but he knows I wouldn't feel it.
This obituary was sent to me by Jim. If this guy had died in Chicago, he could start voting for Dimocrats.
Today was officially my last day at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). No, I'm still not gonna identify TCIDNN yet. Some of my readers and blog friends already know which company it is. Some have guesssed correctly just from some of my stories, but it seems that living in a Dilbert cartoon is not just for TCIDNN. From some of the stories I've told and situations I've described many people are convinced I work for their company.
Since my manager never comes into work until after 9:00, I went in at 9:30. She still wasn't there so I hung out in my old office with my team lead and my replacement. Most of the stuff I did, outside of the network stuff, was stuff that only I did. I had my own little empire that I had built up over the years. So my team lead and my replacement had many questions. Where did you put this? Where are the master volumes for this stuff? How did you do this?
Since I was still employed, I answered all their questions. In fact, I spent about an hour and a half dispensing knowledge.
Myt manager came in about 11:00 and since I was still in knowledge dispensing mode she went to get some lunch. In the meantime my team lead formated the hard drive on my laptop. Some of my coworkers stopped by to say goodbye. Some of these people I'm really gonna miss.
About 1:30 I went to my manager's office, I signed some papers, she gave me two checks and copies of all the papers I signed, I gave her my badge, and I split.
I hired on to TCIDNN in St. Louis, Missouri April 2, 1973 (April 1 was on a Sunday dammit!) and ended my employment today, October 29, 2004. 31 years and 7 months. I moved to Atlanta May 16, 1985. I have worked in the same building the entire time. My job, job name, or job description changed about 8 times just here in Atlanta, even though I really only held two jobs: technical instructor or programmer. I have been in 7 different divisions in Atlanta while essentially doing those two jobs. One of TCIDNN's mottos is: When in doubt, reorganize.
So now I have another October date that is memorable.
I got married October 5, 1965. It didn't last.
I was born October 25, 1946. Yep! I'm 58.
I joined the Navy October 28, 1965.
I got out of the Navy October 14, 1969.
I retired from TCIDNN October 29, 2004.
I defeated or outlasted all my enemies at TCIDNN except one and that would be my ex-CDSM® (Clueless Dipshit Manager). He didn't even stop by to say goodbye to me.
I wonder why?
Isn't it funny how the Dimocrats are always ranting about how the Republicans are gonna come up with an "October surprise" to steal the election? This is just another example of what is known in psychology as projection since it's usually the Dimocrats who come up with an "October surprise". Want examples?
Back in 1992 Bush 41 was closing the gap on Clinton when, lo and behold, special prosecutor of the Iran Contra investigation Lawrence Walsh, a Dimocrat, came through and indicted Caspar Weinberger just days before the election. That pretty much sewed up the election for Clinton.
As an example of media bias, Dan Rather throughout the Clinton scandals never failed to identify Kenneth Starr as Republican special prosecutor Kenneth Starr. He never made that distinction with Lawrence Walsh. Media bias? Naaah!
Then, in 2000, just days before the election, news broke that Bush 43 had been convicted of a DWI. For those of you who insist in the belief that Fox News is controlled by the Republican Party, it was Carl Cameron of Fox News who broke the story. Go figger. Without that October surprise, Bush, who was leading in all the polls, would have probably won the popular vote and we would have not had the Florida debacle.
Now we have the aptly named Al-Qaqaa (pronounced al caca) which is turning out to be nothing but caca. Could this be the Dimocrats October surprise for this election? If so, it looks like they shot their wad way too soon.
That bastion of impartial and honest journalism, CBS News (new motto, Fake But Accurate) was planning to break this story the Sunday before the election. Could this have been politically motivated? CBS News? Naaah! Unfortunately for them, leaks abounded and the New York Times (motto, All the news that fits our views) had to break the story earlier than planned. This allowed all the bloggers in pajamas (I'm in sweatpants again) and reliable news organizations (i.e. those organizations that are not propaganda arms of the Dimocrat Party like CBS News and the New York Times) time to investigate the story and find out that it is probably totally bullshit. Premature ejaculation is a bitch isn't it?
We have now heard that the explosives went missing between the last time that the United Nations inspectors saw them and the 101st Airborne arrived. Or we have also heard that it wasn't 380 tons but 3 tons. Or there are satellite photos showing large trucks leaving Al-Qaqaa. Or what?
We've also heard that this was old news. This story dates back to April of last year. Of course, this means nothing to those two bastions of objective journalism the New York Times and CBS News.
Of course the Poodle has to shoot off his mouth about how did all thes WMD's go missing? Wait a minute! I thought there were no WMD's in Iraq. If there were no WMD's how did these WMD's go missing? To a Lurch supporter this makes perfect sense.
I received the following from one of my readers:
Courtesey of Stratfor, a non-partisan intelligence website. The extent the left in this country will go to will never cease to amaze me.
Geopolitical Diary: Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004
Global media have been reporting ad nauseam about 380 tons of high-grade explosives that have gone missing from Iraq's Al Qaqaa facility, an arms depot sealed by the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA). Specifically, the charge is that U.S. forces, through negligence, allowed the looting of 215 tons of HMX, 156 tons of RDX and 6 tons of PETN explosives.
Normally, this is the sort of thing that makes a Stratfor analyst's hair stand on end. HMX? Tons of it? Missing? In Iraq? This is where we usually hit the panic button.
That was until, after a little bit of poking around, we discovered that the explosives in question did not disappear just this week, but last year. Their absence was not confirmed until several weeks after the fall of Baghdad.
We quickly dialed back. After all, if this were such an old story, certainly it would shrivel up and blow away in short order. But it did not die. If anything, as the hours rolled by, it gathered steam until it began crowding out other far more time-sensitive issues.
The key issue for us -- and we are stunned that this information has not made it into the general discussion of this issue -- is that it is quite possible these explosives were either destroyed or removed before the 2003 Iraq war even began.
The IAEA last visually inspected the materials in January 2003, and although the agency states that it checked the buildings in March 2003 to ensure its seals were still on the buildings, it fully admits to not directly inspecting the explosives at that time.
It is also possible that the U.S. military destroyed the explosives. On April 4, 2003 -- a week before the fall of Baghdad -- U.S. forces reported finding a large quantity of white powder -- initially suspected to be WMD -- at an industrial complex in Latifiyah. When it turned out to be "only" high grade explosives, U.S. forces did what they did with every other arms depot they found: They blew it up. By the way, the Al Qaqaa facility is in -- you guessed it -- Latifiyah. Both RDX and PETN are often stored as white powder.
Details regarding the explicit location of the "powder" that U.S. forces found and destroyed are hardly complete, and the powder is not necessarily the same type or types of explosive, but the point remains that it is rather spurious for this all to be pouring out into the public eye -- and holding it -- some 18 months after the materials supposedly went missing.
There are three leading hypotheses on the explosives' fate.
First, the explosives were removed under the nose of U.S. forces. We find this unlikely if for no reason other than 380 tons of anything requires a bit of effort to move, particularly during wartime when anything that resembles a convoy gets an airstrike. Unsurprisingly, the Bush administration is denouncing this hypothesis for just that reason.
Second, the explosives were removed just before or in the early days of the war before U.S. forces could focus on the area just south of Baghdad. They were then stashed somewhere for later use. This scenario is a bit flimsy because it requires powerful explosives to be in the hands of guerrillas who are not using them. This is clearly the preferred spin of the Kerry campaign.
Third, the bulk of the explosives were removed before U.S. forces thoroughly investigated the area after the fall of Baghdad. In such a scenario the explosives would have either been redirected to military use or relocated someplace beyond the reach of U.S. forces, such as Syria. We are not seeing any discussion about this possibility.
Regardless of what specifically happened to the explosives, the timing of the entire media furor is questionable to say the least. We suspect that it will all die down on or about Nov. 3, the day after it does not matter what actually happened.
Copyrights 2004 - Strategic Forecasting, Inc. All rights reserved.
http://www.stratfor.com
We now have heard that ABC is sitting on a video tape of al Qaeda threatening us with a terrorist attack that will make 9-11 look like a picnic. In the spirit of NBC, which sat on the Lisa Meyers interview with Juanita Brodderick until after the Senate vote on impeachment (Go ahead and tell me if it had been a Republican president NBC would have sat on that interview) ABC is sitting on the tape so "it won't influence the vote". C'mon. Do you really think that if this tape would help Kerry get elected that ABC would not air it? GMAFB!
Exactly when did it happen that the lamestream media decided to put the interests of the Dimocrat Party over that of the interests of the country? OK. I can understand them trying to protect Clinton, but we are now talking about undermining a war. Oh silly me! I forgot. They had no qualms about undermining the Viet Nam War or the Cold War. This is just standard operating procedure.
What really pisses me off is that the evil genius, Karl Rove, does not seem to have an October surprise of his own. I know that a lot of people have been hoping that Bush was gonna produce Osama bin Laden, but that ain't gonna happen. Osama is dead. If they do find him he'll be nailed to the perch. He won't be a Norwegian Blue with beautiful plumage pining for the fiords but a dead terrorist.
C'mon, Osama is dead. If not, this is what he probably looks like now.
Ladies and gentlemen, Osama has left the planet.
First, there is sumpin' running around the internet blaming John Edwards for the flu vaccine shortage. Let's get this straight. John Edwards is responsible for the OB-GYN shortage in North Carolina. The flu shortage litigation blamed on Babyface appears to be an urban legend. This is what Snopes has to say. I should have checked out the secret service protection for Kerry on Snopes also as my post was in error. One of my commenters pointed that out to me. I'm sorry that my journalistic standards have descended to the level of CBS. I can only attribute it to the fact that I was half in the bag when I did that post.
A couple of weeks back, my team lead took me out to a goodbye luncheon with most of our department. He thought that TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name) didn't do retirement luncheon/dinners anymore. It looks like he was wrong as my manager took me and some guests of my choosing out to a restaurant that I got to pick out. I chose lunch over dinner, and I chose Rays on The River (for all of you folks who live in Atlanta). I've always liked eating there. Two of the people I invited, Tony and my friend Brian, couldn't make it and my friend and former mentor Mikey was a no show.
The rest of the gang either works at TCIDNN or used to.
There was Wahoo who retired from TCIDNN about 8 years ago. He helped get me back on my feet after my accident. All the people down at Shepherd thought that he and I were lovers since he was so good to me. BWAHAHAHAHA!
I didn't find that out until after I left. Another thing that I didn't find out was that I had a female friend who told everyone there that we were engaged. I didn't find out that until after I left either. Geez! Who woulda known that I was bisexual?
There was Tim whom I worked with back before my accident. He and his wife were with me when I fell. They took care of me until the ambulance arrived. I haven't seen Tim in quite some time. He lives in the Northwest suburbs and I live Northeast. It seems nowadays people are just too busy to stay in touch.
There was Joe, who now works in a different division, even though we still work in the same building. He and I have worked on many projects together. I tried to get him in my division to take the place of the old network guy but they went with shit for brains instead.
There was Richard who also taught me a lot. This is the Richard who supplies many of my Monday puns. I also got the phrase booger eatin' moh-ron from him. He took some pictures. Maybe he'll e-mail them to me.
Of course, my team lead Lloyd was there. I'm gonna miss working with him. Part of his job was protecting me from myself. I have this flaw of telling managers what they don't want to hear: the truth. He helped me avoid going to meetings as that was where I was in the most danger.
My manager was there since she had to pick up the check. She told me it looks like my paperwork is ready and all I have to do is go in on Friday, sign some papers, and pick up a check.
Sometime between now and the end of the year, I will identify TCIDNN.
The lunch was delicious and a good time was had by all.
Omigawd! We're all gonna get the flu and die and it's all Bush's fault just like the hurricanes that hit Florida. Bush's fault. The earthquake in Japan? Bush's fault. In fact, everything bad that has happened in the world in the last four years is Bush's fault. And somehow he is still leading in the polls.
Let's look at this flu thing. Since when did the flu become smallpox? To hear the media tell it hundreds of thousands of people are gonna die because we do not have enough flu vaccine. First off this is bullshit. I remember the big scare about the swine flu 20 some years ago. It was gonna be the worst influenza epidemic in 50 years. It turned out to be a non-event. Geez! We're talking about the flu here. It's not like it's AIDS.
Now lets talk about the shortage of the flu vaccine that has been blamed on the Bush administration. The shortage is the gummint's fault but it is not the Bush administration that caused the problem. Nope that can be traced back to one of the shrillest voices criticizing the Bush administration, Senator Hillary Rodent Clinton.
Before I explain that let me tell you about sone letters written by booger eatin' moh-rons in the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. One of them bemoaned the fact that we had to get our vaccines from a foreign country and that we should just make the greedy drug companies make them. I'm sure this person also thinks at the same time that we should get prescription drugs from Canada. This is a typical socialist solution. Another person said much the same thing, but went a step further and said the gummint should take over sone of the drug companies and force them to make vaccine. There is a name for this. It is what this person probably accuses Republicans of: fascism.
What these idiots, and socialists like Hillary do not understand is that businesses exist to make profits. And when businesses make profits they can hire more people. Profitable businesses hire people, unprofitable businesses fire people.
In the early 1990's there were five companies that made flu vaccines. When Hillary Rodent tried to nationalize health care she failed, but she did have one success. She decided that the gummint should take over vaccinations "for the children". Y'see, she thought that every child rich or poor should be vaccinated and it was the gummint's job to do it.
Being the good little socialist that she is she also didn't think those evil drug companies should make a lot of money so she used the gummint's clout to mandate very small profits. As I said, businesses exist to make profits. If the profits are not high enough, they get out of that particular business. That is why we only have two companies that make the flu vaccine. Thank Hillary.
I would like to bring up lawsuits against the companies, but they are urban legends according to Snopes, especially the one about Babyface. He was too busy putting OB-GYN's out of business to be involved in a dinky little lawsuit about vaccination side effects.
One of my commenters had the best advice. Stay away from large crowds and wash your hands often. If you do not get a flu shot you will still have a better chance getting killed in an automobile accident than you will dying from the flu.
I'm considered high risk but I'm not getting a shot. I'm also not worried. But then, I have a brain.
It's still my birthday and I'm half in the bag. I should have grilled a steak and had a baked potato, but I didn't think of it so instead I had some grilled chicken and fettucine alfredo. I used Smart Balance in the sauce and then said, fuck it and used real cream. I didn't open a new bottle of wine, but finished off a Syrah that I had opened on Saturday. I will have a snifter of Delemain Vesper before I go to bed. It is my birthday, after all.
First a link. Turn about is fair play and I'm linking to their Patton Post. It kinda puts things into perspective.
Like I said, it's still my birthday and I'm taking the night off, but I thought I would share with you sumpin' about that man of the people, John Fonda Kerry that my friend Pres sent me. Is it true? You tell me.
Want to pay this?
Thought I would share some information that is helping me decide how I will vote in November.
Most of us haven't thought about this -- no matter how much we like or dislike John Kerry. Even an estimate of this cost is staggering.
If elected, you and I (or those of us who actually pay taxes) will pay upkeep and secret service protection for five Kerry mansions here in the United States plus those he and his wife own abroad. It is good to be John F. Kerry...the F stands for Forbes in case you ever wondered. He is one of the richest senators in government and he married even richer. Their properties certainly reflect their opulent lifestyle. When someone is elected president, the Secret Service has to protect this person and family as well as their property - for as long as the president and his spouse lives!
Beacon Hill, Boston $6.9 million
As mentioned, the Kerry's have five US properties and several foreign properties. The cost to run one of these homes for a year is more than upper middle income Americans could afford, even if the rent was free, and all you had to pay was the water, gas & electric bills (we won't mention ground keepers, maintenance, pool, cooks and house keepers).
Fox Chapel, PA $3.7 million (this is their "shanty")
If Kerry becomes president each property requires staffed secret service security 24 hours a day. Security improvements to each home will come at tax payer expense. Even if the Kerry's never use all the properties - they will be retrofitted -- just in case they drop by for a weekend. Facilities for the secret service agents must also be provided on each property. Who do you think will pay for this? We pay! This takes all the expense off Kerry and puts it on us. Bill Clinton is paying for his New York manor house by charging the government monthly rent for the required secret service facility. The monthly rent is nearly three times more than his mortgage payment. So we the tax payers are buying his house and he pockets the extra money from the rent on the secret service facility. Then he gets to write off the interest on his mortgage. (This is untrue...GOC) Well, he was broke from defending his immoral skull duggery and his wife's little scandals, so maybe we should feel sorry for poor old Slick Willie.
Georgetown, Washington D.C. $4.7 million
Ketchum, Idaho $4.92 million
What does it cost to staff one property in terms of secret service agents? Let's just talk about his American properties. Each property would require 5 agents per 6 hour shift 4 times a day 365 days a year for the rest of Kerry's life and however long his widow might live. In addition, we pay to house and feed these agents at each property for the duration. Do the math. Five properties requiring five agents per shift, times four shifts. That is 20 agents per day per property, 365 days per year. Lets say each agent receives a salary of about $60K (this doesn't include insurance, retirement, etc.;! add 30% of salary for that). There will also be vehicles, repairs, gas, and other miscellaneous costs. Straight salary and benefits for 100 agents for one year would cost $7,800,000. We can only guess at the cost of retrofitting each property, building the facility necessary to house the agents and the monthly rent for each facility.
Nantucket, MA $9.18 million
On the other hand, George Bush owns one house - the one at his ranch in Crawford, Texas.
Again, who pays? You and I pay. I don't mind one property; heck I wouldn't even complain about two - but five in the U.S. and those abroad? Perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Kerry should offer to foot the bill for all but two of these properties if they want me to consider his candidacy. Does it make sense to spend this kind of money on his excessive life style when he and Mrs. Heinz-Kerry can better afford it??
Paying for the Kerry mansions is only a small part of my concern about this man sitting in the White House. Tax and spend Kerry - that's his party motto. I'd rather see the money we'd spend protecting his fancy properties go toward health care, our military and homeland security. Which America does he live in? Not the same one I live in - that's for sure!
Please pass the mustard; do America a favor and pass this to your friends. Let's keep Bush a resident of the White House rather than spend millions and millions to protect Kerry's preferred lifestyle and opulent properties. We'd save an incredible amount of money for more deserving programs. Oh, and viva Del Monte Ketchup!
This Monday's groaner is once again from my buddy Richard.
A railroad worker killed a customer in a fight. He was convicted of
murder and sent to the electric chair. But when they turned on the
juice, he was unaffected. Everyone was stunned. When reporters asked
him how he withstood the charge, he said,
"I'm just a bad conductor!"
October 25 is my birthday. It is also St. Crispin's Day which is a very important date in English history.
You've heard John Fonda Kerry drone on about his "band of brothers". Do you know where that phrase came from? No, it wasn't an HBO special. It came from Shakespeare's Henry V. It was the speech that King Henry gave before the battle of Agincourt, on St. Crispin's Day, October 25, 1415, where an outnumbered English army (It was 30,000 French against 10,000 Englishmen) kicked the crap out of the French. They were French after all. Some things never change. Anyway in the spirit of my Hamlet and Marc Antony updates here is the St. Crispin's Day speech.
WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day!
Holy shit! We are outnumbered! If we only had some of those bloody bastards who are sitting on their asses back in England!
KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland?
Why do you want that cuz?
No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss;
Nope, cousin dude. If we're destined to get our butts kicked there are enough of us.
and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
But if we're gonna win, think of what an upset it would be. They would talk about us for years. It would be like the Jets beating Baltimore in Super Bowl III.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
I don't want any more men. We're fighting the French after all.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Holy crap! I'm not doing this for money.
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
And I don't care if the dudes with me are doing it for money.
It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
I don't even care if my men wear my uniforms.
But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive.
But if it's a sin to want honor and glory than I am the biggest sinner on the planet.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
Nope! I don't want any more men.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one man more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Nope. If I had just one more man he would take honor away from me. I am the quarterback. Just like Namath I want to shine.
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
Tell the rest of the army,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;
that if there is anyone who is a pussy, get the fuck out of here.
his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
Give him three purple hearts. It will be his ticket home.
We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us.
We would not die in the company of a phony bastard such as he that would use scratches to get purple hearts and cut short his tour of duty by 8 months. Get the fuck out of my sight! You are not worthy to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
When St. Crispin's Day comes around every one who returns home will look at this day proudly.
And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
The night before St. Crispin's day he'll roll up his sleeves and show the scars and tell him he got them on St. Crispin's Day at Agincourt.
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day.
He may forget other stuff in old age, but not the Battle of Agincourt!
Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
All of our names will be remembered.
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
While knocking down some brewskis,
This story shall the good man teach his son;
The old veteran will teach his son.
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world,
And on this day from now until the end of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
our small but happy force, this band of brothers
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
Anyone who fights with me will be my brother. He won't return to England and stab us all in the back by falsely accusing us of war crimes. (OK. I added that last part to make this more relevant to today.)
This day shall gentle his condition;
This day will make him a better person.
Make him a member of the gentry, even if he is a commoner.
If he's lower class this will make him upper class. (And he won't even have to marry for it.)
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
And all those pussies back home in bed,
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
will know that they were wusses because they didn't have the balls to be with us.
Now lets go kill us some Frogs!
Before the Battle of Agincourt,
25 October 1415
Shakespeare
And GOC.
Jim from Downunder sent me this riddle that I had heard before. It was told to me by my friend Jeannella who is from North Dakota. She's of Norwegian descent and up there they call 'em Norwegian jokes. The punchline for this particular joke the way she told it was "Some Indian in Fargo".
John Kerry meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Kerry frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?" The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child! It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Kerry goes back home to ask John Edwards, his vice Presidential choice the same question.
"John. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says John Edwards. "Let me get back to you on that one." Edwards goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Edwards shouts, "Colin, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Edwards smiles, and says, "Thanks!" Then, Edwards goes back to speak with Kerry. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle...It's Colin Powell."
Kerry gets up, stomps over to John Edwards, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
OK. Here's the real Saturday Boobage sent to me by Robert.
It does this old heart good seeing a girl named Brande making wine in Napa Valley.
Today's Saturday Boobage combines two things men are crazy about.
Boobs and beer! And I drink Moosehead.
Sorry, no writing tonight. Here are some pictures Jim sent me.
First, why there are no penguins at the North Pole.
Second, President Bush finally finds a good way to negotiate a Middle East peace plan.
WTF are we to do with Jimmah Carter? I mean he just keeps getting loonier by the day. After his failed presidency he did try to rehabilitate himself with Habitat For Humanity and that was good. He started running around the world making sure elections were clean and I thought that was good until I found out how many times he'd been snookered. The last time was in Venezuela. Now he runs around the world telling everyone how bad the United States is. He got a Nobel Peace Prize for that.
He was on Hardball the other night and he said (I'm not making this up) that the Revolutionary War was unnecessary! Here is the Matthews question and Jimmah's answer:
MATTHEWS: Let me ask you the question about – this is going to cause some trouble with people but as an historian now and studying the Revolutionary War as it was fought out in the South in those last years of the War, insurgency against a powerful British force. Do you see any parallels between the fighting that we did on our side and the fighting that is going on in Iraq today?
(Sounds like Chris is channeling Michael Moore.)
Carter: Well, one parallel is that the Revolutionary War more than any other war until recently has been the most bloody war we’ve fought. I think another parallel is that in some ways the Revolutionary War could have been avoided. It was an unnecessary war. Had the British Parliament been a little more sensitive to the colonial’s really legitimate complaints and requests the war could have been avoided completely and of course now we would have been a free country now as is Canada and India and Australia, having gotten our independence in a non-violent way. I think in many ways the British were very misled in going to war against America and in trying to enforce their will on people who were quite different from them at the time.
Jimmah starts out on the wrong foot. The Revolutionary War was one of the least bloody wars we have ever fought. In order of deaths:
Civil War - 558,000
World War II - 407,000
World War I - 116,700
Viet Nam - 58,100
Mexican War - 13,300
Revolutionary War - 4435
Here's my source.
These are all American casualties so maybe we killed a shitload of Brits, but I doubt it. And didja notice how he said Parliament should have been more sensitive to the colonials' complaints? Geez! I'm glad there were no Dimocrats back then and don't give me any shit about Jefferson being a Dimocrat. He wouldn't recognize todays' Dimocrat Party. He was more in tune with Ronald Reagan. He wanted a small central gummint with power devolving to the states. If he were alive today he would probably want a revolution against our current gummint.
Jimmah is so full of shit that you could just unscrew his head and dip it out. Had we remained British colonies the original 13 would in all probability have been an entirely different country than the rest of the United States. England would not have been able to exert any control past the Appalachian Mountains and the territories would have probably formed their own political entity.
That brings me to an op-ed in Wednesday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation by some booger eatin' moh-ron named Steve Berman. He says that Jews should vote for Kerry because he could mediate between Israel and the Palestinians just like Jimmah did between Egypt and Israel. He used the example of cooperation between Egypt and Israel after recent hotel bombing.
Carter, as president, pushed, cajoled and arm-twisted to bring Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin to the peace table. His 1978 Camp David accords were directly responsible for the scene of cooperation we were witnessing.
Got news for you Steve. It was Anwar Sadat who started the peace process by flying to Jerusalem. He actually wanted peace and was willing to work for it. He was also killed for it by (guess who?) Islamic fanatics. We're paying Egypt $3 billion a year to be nice to Israel.
Somehow Steve got off his topic in this paragraph.
The Bush administration's rejection of the environmentally important Kyoto Protocol, its opposition to promoting stem cell research and reproductive choice, its far too cozy relationship with the religious right, which would destroy the wall separating church and state, all tell American Jewish voters that Kerry is the logical choice for president.
Huh? WTF? There is so much wrong with this paragraph that I don't know where to start.
Kyoto - Steve are you willing to give up all of your creature comforts and watch this country become a Third World nation? That's what Kyoto would do. And if it is such a great treaty why did the Senate vote it down 98-0? Kerry either voted no or was out windsurfing that day.
Stem cells - What does that have to do with Israel?
Abortion - non sequiter.
Cozy relation with the religious right - The strongest supporter of Israel happens to be the religious right. It's the left wing liberals who adore Yasser Arafat and bemoan the plight of those poor Palestinians.
If anything can be learned from the death in Taba, it is that an activist president who is committed to finding peace in the mold of Carter is a necessity. Kerry holds the promise for the future where there is presently none.
There you have it. He thinks Flipper will be an activist president in the mold of Jimmah Carter. Think about it. Flipper wants to create alliances and be a good member of the international community.
Remember this number: 444. That's how many days American diplomats were held, in violation of international law, by Iranian "students". WTF did the international community do for us? WTF did Jimmah Carter do? The international community did nothing and Jimmah Carter blustered and looked weak and indecisive which, of course, he was. I expect nothing better from Lurch. Maybe he could talk and gesture them to death.
There will be no peace in the Middle East until the Palestinian leadership accepts that Israel is here to stay. A peace partnership needs all members wanting peace. Yasser Arafat walked away from the last peace negotiations and started the current intafada.
The roadmap to peace stated that the Palestinians needed to rein in terrorism. They didn't. That's it. Yasser Arafat doesn't want peace. He wants the destruction of Israel. He thinks Kerry is another Jimmah Carter. That's why he wants him to win.
John Kerry is another Jimmah Carter. That's all we need to know. The Poodle will do for the United States in 2005-2008 What Jimmah Carter did for the United Statres in 1977-1980. If he gets elected we better pray that there is another Ronald Reagan in the wings.
We do not need four years of another Jimmah Carter.
Yeah, I got hammered at Blogtoberfest. I wound up crashing in the room where we held the first night's party. I stole this picture from Dax Montana's site. This was the aftermath. The Absolut vodka bottle was empty. As far as I know Pumpman and I were the only ones drinking vodka.
I was not the only one hammered. At least I got up before the crack of noon. There were some Yankees who slept until 4:00 in the afternoon.
MTV has Rock the Vote. The Ohio NAACP has Crack the Vote.
Just damn! as my friend Dax Montana would say. the Dimocrats have outdone themselves. No longer content with stealing elections via traditional methods, like giving the homeless money or booze, having the dead vote. or sending out a phalanx of lawyers, they have now updated their methods to employ crack as in this episode in Ohio. Let's face it. Changing times require changing methods.
Defiance County Sheriff David Westrick said that Mr. Staton was working on behalf of a Toledo woman, Georgianne Pitts, to register new voters. She, in turn, was working on behalf of the NAACP National Voter Fund, which was formed by the NAACP in 2000 to register new voters.Sheriff Westrick said that Pitts, 41, of Toledo, admitted she gave Mr. Staton crack cocaine in lieu of cash for supplying her with completed voter registration forms. The sheriff declined to say how much crack cocaine Pitts supplied Mr. Staton, or to say whether Pitts knew that the forms Mr. Staton gave her were falsified.
Let's look at some of the names on the registration forms:
Mary Poppins - She'll trade her vote for a spoonful of sugar.
Jeffrey Dahmer - His vote will cost an arm and a leg.
Dick Tracy - Dick Tracy????
The NAACP claims to be a nonpartisan organization. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It is firmly attached to the Dimocrat Party. The Dimocrats and the national NAACP are using the John Kerry defense. Remember when he said that he didn't own all those gas guzzling SUV's, his family did? Dimocrat Party spokesman Dan Trevas said it was a stretch to link the Democratic Party and the NAACP Voter Fund to fraud because "the volunteer to the volunteer did something fraudulent."
We had nuthin' to do with it! You can't pin anything on us copper!
But it's not the first complaint of fraud against the NAACP Voter Fund, which insists it is nonpartisan.
Yeah. Right. The NAACP is as nonpartisan as I am.
Elections officials in Lake County, just east of Cleveland, last month began investigating the group and an anti-Bush group called Americans Coming Together, or ACT Ohio, for hundreds of suspicious registration forms and absentee ballot requests.
Oh?
Among them was one, submitted by the NAACP Voter Fund, for a man who'd been dead for more than two decades.
That's the way the Daley's do it in Chicago. Stop me if you've heard this joke before.
My father voted Republican all his life. Since he died he's voted Dimocrat in the last three elections.
But I'm not surprised about this. It is the Dimocrat Party who is pushing to allow felons to vote. After all felons consistently vote for Dimocrats. It's that birds of a feather thing. If I were a felon I would definitely admire Teddy Kennedy for getting away with murder and Bill Clinton for getting away with rape.
Dimocrats also want to allow illegal aliens the right to vote because they consistently vote for Dimocrats. They identify with Dimocrats. Must be that illegal thing.
In the interest of balance the article does say that a Republican group was caught destroying some registration forms. It didn't mention that the names on the forms were Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, John Connner, and Barry Allen.
Here's a neat bumper sticker my sis' former neighbor sent me.
Semper fi, Jarheads!
Now that I'm semi-retired I have more time to think of things to ponder.
Who rescued Lois Lane before Superman? I mean she had to be just as stupid before he came on the scene. By all rights she should have died long before she met Superman.
Why is it OK for Dimocrats to campaign in black churches and wrong for Republicans to campaign in any church?
How come liberals do not want to be called liberals but conservatives are proud to be called conservative and libertarians are proud to be called libertarian?
After Memogate why should we believe anything CBS and Dan Blather says?
Why haven't Dan Blather and Mary Mapes been fired?
What exactly is wrong with having to show identification in order to vote?
What is wrong with not allowing felons to vote?
Why was it the Republicans' fault when most of the voting irregularities in Florida were in counties run by Dimocrats?
Multiple part question. Illegal aliens held a protest march last week in Atlanta
demanding their rights.
1. Since they were illegal aliens why weren't they rounded up and shipped back to where they came from?
2. Exactly what rights do illegal aliens have?
Why is Molly Ivins paid to write wacky newspaper columns?
Why doesn't someone pay me to write wacky newspaper columns?
How come the women I like don't like me and the women who like me I don't like?
Why do I have so much trouble with women when three of my best friends are women?
Why was it Reagan's fault when the gummint shut down in the 80's but Congress' fault when the gummint shut down in the 90's?
Exactly what is wrong with the gummint shutting down for a few weeks?
Exactly what do the "nonessential" gummint workers do who are told to stay home during bad weather and gummint shutdowns? If they are nonessential workers why do they have jobs?
What is wrong with gummint gridlock?
Why hasn't the president vetoed any spending bills?
Why do I do my best rants after a Stoly on the rocks and half a bottle of wine?
(I'm stone cold sober as I write this. That's why it sucks.)
Pumpman stated that the more I drank the better my guitar playing and singing were. Why is that? Actually I think it was the more he drank the better I sounded.
Why won't Rachel Lucas get a better job so she can spend more time blogging?
Why don't we set up a blogger meetup next year in a more cripple friendly place?
Why do liberals like Michael Moore hate America so much?
How come all the people who promised to leave the country after the last election are still here?
Why does Barbra Streisand think people really give a flying fuck about her opinions?
Why does Cher, who never finished high school think she's smarter than Bush?
Another multiple part question. Someone sent me a transcript of a Frontline, pro-Kerry documentary that was partially funded by our tax dollars.
1. Why is this OK while the Sinclair documentary, which is privately funded is not?
2. Why does this documentary continuously say that Flipper was a good student, without telling us his GPA, but continuously say that Bush was a C student? What GPA did Kerry have that made him a "good student"?
Why doesn't Kerry want to talk about his liberal voting record in the Senate? Is he ashamed of being a liberal? If so why is he one?
Why do the people in Massachusetts keep electing Ted Kennedy? Is there sumpin' in the water?
Why do people think Hillary Clinton is a feminist icon when all of her success has been a result of her staying with a lying philanderer who humiliated her and her daughter in front of the entire world?
Yasser Arafat has just said that he wants Kerry to win. In spite of that Kerry will get the Jewish vote. Why is that?
How come after all the money we have thrown at education our educational system still sucks?
How come after seeing how socialism has been an abject failure everywhere it has been tried there are still people who think it will work here?
How come the people in America who think that Cuba is a wonderful place because it has free education and free medical care haven't moved there?
How come every time I try to write sumpin' funny, I usually wind up ranting about Dimocrats?
If you are a masochist you can click on the image to see a larger version.
Another one from Charlieb.
Molly Ivins seems to be foaming at the mouth again. Wait a minute! That seems to be all she's doing nowadays. Now that the liberals no longer have a stranglehold on the media any more they're going nuts.
Now is the time for all good men -- and women -- to race to the aid of their country. Liberals and libertarians unite! The Sinclair Broadcasting Group has moved this election into the realm of creeping fascism, state propaganda, Big Brother and brainwashing. What me, hyperbole?
Nope. Not hyperbole. Try bullshit.
This is SO simple -- how would you conservatives feel if NBC, CBS or ABC decided to pre-empt primetime programming a week before the election to air Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11"? And then announced, "But we've offered President Bush a chance to reply"?
I'm surprised it hasn't happened yet. It isn't through lack of trying. Greedy Michael Moore first wanted it on Pay Per View. Now that that has fallen through he's decided his hatred of Bush is more important than him making more money so he's offering it for free but no one has taken him up on it yet.
Sinclair has also offered President George W. Bush the inestimable service of diverting attention from his record and is using OUR publicly owned airwaves to do it.
Actually Molly this is documenting Kerry's traitorous record. This documentary will probably be more truthful than Farenheit 9/11.
For Sinclair's lobbyist and on-air editorialist Mark Hyman to claim this long attack ad is "news" is ludicrous -- almost as strained as his claim, somewhere between infelicitous and crackers, that those who disagree are like "Holocaust deniers."
Molly, when did you become a holocaust denier? And aren't you engaging in the same kind of action that you claim conservatives did with Farenheit 9/11? You're prejudging the "attack ad". Have you seen it?
Sinclair Group is the perfect example of what's wrong with the concentration of ownership in media: Just a few companies now own almost all the major information outlets. Sinclair is the largest owner of local TV stations in the nation. It controls 62 stations in 39 markets and reaches at least 25 percent of Americans every day, all day.
The only thing that bothers Molly about this is the fact that now the media is no longer controlled exclusively by liberals. That's why liberals hate Fox News and all of us bloggers who sit around in pajamas (I'm wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt BTW) and fact check their asses.
She spouts more of why she hates Sinclair and then continues ...
Sinclair sends prerecorded right-wing editorial commentary to its affiliates to be broadcast as "local news." Sinclair's management has contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars almost entirely to Republicans (97 percent this year), as it continued to lobby for looser ownership rules. The Bush administration is pushing aggressively to remove those same rules.
But the left wing commentary we get from Dan Blather, Peter 'I'm so much smarter than you rubes in flyover country' Jennings, and Tom Brokaw is OK. NBC ignored the Swift Vets but gave Kitty Kelley, whose attack book on Bush had absolutely no reliable sources, three mornings on the Today show. And let's not forget the Fake but Accurate 60 Minutes II hit piece. Typical. If liberals do it, it's OK.
The producer of the alleged "documentary," which is actually just a very long Swift Boat Liars ad, makes the same arguments and features some of the same people as the thoroughly discredited short ads.
Thoroughly discredited? By whom? By the same people who think the TANG memos were real? Do you know how many people have to be lying for the Poodle to be telling the truth? Most of Flippers bullshit has been discredited like Christmas in Cambodia. I believe the Swift Vets a lot more than I believe Michael Moore. BTW, when are we gonna start building that oil pipeline in Afghanistan that we went to war for?
I have not seen Sherwood's ad.
Bingo! But you just know that there is nothing true in it.
I am relying on press reports that its central thesis is that John Kerry's congressional testimony in 1971 prolonged the Vietnam War.
Howza 'bout we ask Gen Nguyen Giap who said in his 1985 memoir about the war, that if it weren't for organizations like Kerry's Vietnam Veterans Against the War, Hanoi would have surrendered to the U.S. That's straight from the horse's mouth.
Sure, the North Vietnamese would have surrendered long before they never did, if it hadn't have been for Kerry.
See above.
Look, 14,000 more Americans died after his testimony -- how many would it take to make that war anything other than a mistaken horror?
Instead we cut and ran which is the same thing Flipper will have us do in Iraq if he wins. Look Molly, you stupid liberal twit, I was in Viet Nam. We wanted to win. It was people like you, Lurch, and the other anti-war, anti-American liberals who wanted us to lose the war. And now you are trying to duplicate your success by trying to make us lose in Iraq. You were the assholes who didn't want us to win the Cold War and now you don't want us to win the WOT. People like you make me want to puke.
The ad also alleges that Kerry impugned the good names of all those who served in Vietnam. That is not only false but malicious. I heard his testimony at the time and have reviewed it since during this campaign -- it is honorable and patriotic. I am also familiar with the Winter Soldier hearings on which his testimony was partly based, and they were just as he reported.
Huh? WTF? CSPAN recently rebroadcast his testimony and I couldn't watch the entire thing because the bastard made me sick to my stomach with the accusations he made against our soldiers.
They told the stories at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, tape wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the country side of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
It turns out that many of the people who met in Detroit who told Kerry this bullshit hadn't even been to Viet Nam. Many of them hadn't even been in the military. Of course, Molly, for someone who hates the military as much as you do this is believable. Earth to planet Molly, in my world lying about atrocities that never happened is impugning "the good names of all those who served in Vietnam".
I am sick of the right wing claiming patriotism as its exclusive purview.
Just as I am sick of the left undermining the foreign policy of this country. I am sick of the left who didn't want us to win the Cold War. I am sick of the left who wants us to appease the terrorists and wage a more "sensitive war". I am sick of the left who wants us to "pass a global test" to defend ourselves. I am sick of the left who wants us to rely on the corrupt anti-American United Nations. Yes I am sick of the left who by their actions are unpatriotic.
No one serves this country well who blindly supports misbegotten wars in the name of patriotism.
Rational dissent is one thing. We used to have that in the country until the 60's when the left decided that implementing socialism was more important than winning the Cold War. Lying about made up atrocities is not rational dissent. It's lying about made up atrocities. Why do you think the returning veterans were spit on and called baby killers. It was because of people like John Fonda Kerry.
Producing a propaganda hit piece like Farenheit 9/11 is not rational dissent.
The right to dissent is one of the founding principles of this country and is in itself a high form of patriotism.
Yep and politics used to end at the waters' edge. Now we have assholes like Jimmah Carter running around the world and undermining our foreign policy. The terrorists just love Farenheit 9/11.
What you owe your country is your best evaluation of whether we are or are not going in the right direction.
I agree, but the left specializes in lies. And then there are idiots like you, Molly. All I need to know is that you and your friends on the left were on the wrong side of history during the Cold War and you are on the wrong side of history in the WOT.
As Huey P. Long once said, "Sure we'll have fascism in America, but it'll come disguised as 100 percent Americanism."
Yep! Conservatives are fascists. Amazing! Molly remember Germany? Hitler belonged to the National Socialist Party. I'm much more worried about you people on the left wing than on the right. You're the people who want to take away our guns and legislate against "hate speech". You're the people who destroyed our schools and gave us political correctness.
If the country becomes a fascist state it will be because of left wing wackos like Molly Ivins.
Ten thousand years ago, the first humans came to North America. They
crossed from Russia to Alaska. Actually, they hadn't intended to do
this. But they got lost and ...
...couldn't get their Berings Strait.
Here's my side of the story. Yep! I'll admit it. I'm a wimp. I'm a wuss. Geez! I'm turning 58 this month and I'm a cripple on top of all that. I just can't party with the big dogs anymore.
I left Atlanta for Helen about 1:30 Friday afternoon. Atlanta traffic sucks all the time but on Friday afternoon it sucks even worse. I was hoping it wouldn't be as bad at 1:30. It coulda been better, but it coulda been a lot worse.
I rolled into Helen about 4:00. There was an accident between Gainesville and Helen that slowed me down. Also traffic was backed up at Helen itself.
Found our hotel and checked in. Kim who set everything up was already there. So was Eric. Right after I checked in Recondo32 and his wife Georgia arrived.
I found out my room was up on the third floor. There was a ramp to the second floor but steps to the third floor. Georgia helped me up the steps and about that time the hotel manager came along and asked if I wanted a room on the second floor. By that time Kim had shown up and we hollered down to see if someone would trade rooms, which we did. Georgia then hauled my duffel down to the second floor, but before I moved I had a vodka on the rocks.
We decided to go down to the river and do some guitar picken'. It was Eric, me, and Parkway Rest Stop and his bodyguard. Wait a minute! This guy is a conservative from New Jersey. WTF? He came all the way down from Jersey for Blogtoberfest? Whoa!
It was too cold down at the river so we moved up to the third floor. Up the bloody steps again. This called for another vodka on the rocks.
About this time, Pumpman and Catfish showed up. He and Catfish were supposed to pick up Mama Montezz at the Atlanta airport but she missed her connection. Many phone calls were made to figger out how she was gonna make it to Helen. She has told the story of her trip from hell. I didn't realize Georgia had gone to Gainesville to get her. It's a good thing she got back in time to take care of me.
Pumpman and Catfish came up to the room and by now there were four of us drinking and playing guitar. There were more than four of us drinking. There were five players, but I left my guitar at home since I figgered there would be better guitars to play and I was right.
I gotta say I really like Kim's girl friend because she said I had a really good voice. I don't know how much she had to drink when she said that.
We picked and grinned until about 1:00 AM. By this time most of the booze was gone. I got up to go to bed. Let me rephrase that. I tried to get up to go to bed. The chair I was sitting in was right by the door. I couldn't even make it out the door. Georgia said I fell five times, but she must have been exaggerating. It's not too hard to get falling down drunk when you're a cripple.
We decided that the best thing for me to do was just crash in this room. So she went down the the room I had traded for and got my stuff. Then she helped me get ready for bed. Nothing happened! She's married and I was hammered. Pumpman is lucky to have her as a friend. She's probably as good for him as Cindy is for me.
Eric had gone out to a bar, so she left him a note on the door that I had traded rooms with him.
In the meantime Dax had shown up and didn't have a place to sleep so he crashed with me. Fortunately it was a king size bed. Hey Dax, you snore!
So I get up at 11:00 the next morning and crawl into the bathroom to take a shower. Holy crap! There's a stalk with a big fan shaped leaf on it. Hey Dax! WTF is this?
He told me one of the girls had brought it in and put it in the bathtub. I took it out, emptied the tub of the water, and took a shower.
I almost didn't go to Blogtoberfest because I had come down with a cripple related problem on Wednesday and was on antibiotics, but I didn't want to miss the crew. So, rather than spending another night of wild drinking and possible falling I decided to head back home Saturday afternoon. As a result, I missed Kelly and Key who showed up Saturday after I left. Key brought some 'shine that I missed out on. Probably just as well. Kelly has pictures of a mousepad and t-shirts that some of the more generous people brought for us. I told Dax he could have my room.
Someone has a picture of me playing guitar with a teddy bear on my shoulder. If I find it I'll link to it or post it. I can post current pictures of myself now.
Another reason I came home early is my friend Brian had me over for dinner tonight and I worried that another night of partying might have left me in no shape to make it back to Atlanta.
Don't believe anything else anyone tells you about me at Blogtoberfest. This is the truth. Honest!
What will happen two years after a Kerry win.
Click on image for a larger version.
Another one from Jim From Downunder.
I forgot to post that I was off to Helen this weekend for Blogtoberfest and had turned comments off. I came back early and comments are back on, but I will not be posting anything until tomorrow. At that time, I will tell my side of the story. I'm innocent.
To read what another paraplegic, who is also a doctor, has to say about Flipper's and Babyface's exploitation of Christopher Reeve go here
You've read all the other recaps and now you're here to see what I have to say. I had written down stuff I thought the Poodle would say and I have to admit, I was fooled on some of them. Evidently his pollsters had told him certain things not to say. Here are the phrases (not word for word) that I was expecting.
TCFTR (Tax Cuts For The Rich) - 7 times. He wouldn't be a Dimocrat if he didn't say that at least once.
I have a plan - 4 times. I think his handlers told him to cut back on that. I was expecting to hear it at least 10 times.
Outsourced the hunt for Osama - 1 time. Even though this was on domestic issues I expected to hear it more than once.
Osama - As in where is he? (He's Dead Jim! ... Dr. McCoy) - 3 times. Where are the Osama videos? We haven't even heard an audio tape in almost a year. I know. Karl Rove is holding him in an undisclosed location. We'll find out about it in two more weeks.
Alliances - 4 times. It's not an alliance without France or Germany. And remember, in 1991 when we had a real alliance by Kerry's standards against Saddam Hussein, Flipper voted against it.
I will fight - 12 times. Jesus H. Christ! Dimocrats just love to say that they will fight for shit. Why don't they want to fight for their country against stuff like the Cold War and the war on terror.
Viet Nam - 1 time. We had to have the obligatory "I fought in a war".
Random notes:
Shortage of flu vaccine. I thought Bush was gonna whiff on this one and then he mentioned one of the two reasons that we only have two companies producing flu vaccine: Fear of litigation. We used to have lots of companies willing to produce vaccines. Unfortunately we no longer have them. Y'see in an eeeevil capitalistic society, drug companies exist to make money. This is against the beliefs of liberals. If the vaccine the drug companies produce turns out to be for the wrong strain of influenza they have to dump all the vaccine and absorb the loss. If there are any adverse reactions to the vaccine they have to face the wrath of trial layers like Babyface. If I were a drug company CEO I would get out of the vaccine business. It's not worth the bullshit.
I have read and reread the Constitution and I'll be damned if I ever found anything in it about health care. When did health insurance become a right? When I was growing up we didn't need health insurance. Medical fees, outside of catastophic injuries, were within the budget of ordinary Americans. An ordinary family could even pay for child birth. Now, with malpractice premiums out of sight (Thank Babyface for that.) and unnecessary tests to protect the doctor from malpractice suits (Once again, thank Babyface.) the cost of medical care has risen drastically. What makes you think that gummint involvement is gonna improve it? Yeah, I want the compassion of the IRS and the efficiency of the DMV.
Can someone tell me why both Babyface and Lurch made a point of saying that Dick Cheney's daughter was gay? That was a cheap shot and had nothing to do with the debates. Remember, the Clintons said that Chelsea was off limits and the press respected that. The children of Republicans are fair game. Even Mort Kondrake, a Dimocrat (albeit a moderate Dimocrat which has now become an oxymoron) thought it was a cheap shot and had no business in the debates. I think this will cost Flipper some undecided voters.
Bush did a pretty good job at tagging him as a liberal. Saying that Ted Kennedy is the conservative senator from Massachusetts is a good line. I've been using it ever since Kerry won the nomination. Once again we have a liberal running away from his record. Isn't he proud of his record in the Senate? Isn't he proud to be a liberal? Obviously not since he chose to make Viet Nam the centerpiece of his campaign and not his 20 years in the Senate. As the president said about Flipper's record, "You can run, but you can't hide."
One of the things that really pisses me off is when any politician says that during the 90's we actually balanced the budget. I don't care if it's a Republican or a Dimocrat he is full of shit. The budget was never balanced and we did not pay down any of the debt. It is total bullshit. The only surplus was due to us taking in more Social Security funds than we paid out. Then the politicians took the Social Security surplus and spent it leaving IOUs in the Social Security trust fund. When we were running the "surplus" the national debt continued to rise.
Bush did get in a zinger when he said not really believing what two major networks said without mentioning CBS by name.
Bush has a sense of humor and is able to make fun of himself as he did with the last question. The Poodle tried to make a joke which flopped and then flashed a smile and all I could think of was: Oh shit! Botax Boy had a Brite Smile treatment. No one's teeth are that white!
My verdict? A tie. Kerry is better at debates. He's slicker and he's smoother. But, after Bush's disasterous performance in the first debate, all he had to do was tie in the 2nd debate, which he did, and tie in this one, which he did and on net, he won.
Now it's a sprint to the finish.
I received the following e-mail yesterday.
Denny, don't you wonder why someone like Christopher Reeve, who clearly had many people caring for him, would be permitted to develop a bedsore that got so infected it killed him? Where were his caretakers, and his family? I didn't know the man, didn't really care for his acting ability, but no one should have to die like that. It must have been deep to cause a systemic infection which spread to his heart, don't you think?
Actually I don't wonder. Now I get to show off all my knowledge of spinal cord injuries.
People with spinal cord injuries are either quadraplegics like Christopher Reeve or paraplegics like me. Quads have injured their spinal cords at the neck. Paras are injured in the back. Also the injury can be complete (no functionality below the level of injury) or incomplete (some functionality below the level of injury) like me. That is why I am able to walk with braces and crutches.
The obvious result of spinal cord injury is paralysis. What many people do not realize is spinal cord injured people may lose bowel and bladder function. Loss of bladder function leads to urinary tract infections. Urinary tract infections are treated with antibiotics. The more infections, the more antibiotics are used. The more antibiotics are used, the more chance there is of those pesky germs developing a resistance to that particular antibiotic. More on this later.
Another problem with spinal cord injuries is poor blood circulation below the level of injury. This makes the skin more susceptical to breakdown which makes it easier to get skin sores.
Reeve did not get a bed sore, which would have been on the back or sacrum. He got an ischial sore which one gets from sitting. That tells me he didn't do his weight shifts.
We are taught in rehab to do a weight shift every 30 to 60 minutes to avoid getting pressure sores on our butts. A para in a wheelchair puts his hands on the wheels and lifts himself off his cushion for 60 seconds. Quads in a power chair put down the back of the chair until they are laying down. They remain in this position for 60 seconds.
Remember, Reeve tried to do as much as he possibly could. It is ultimately he who is responsible for doing the weight shifts. He has to tell someone to put the back of his wheelchair down. He may have been somewhere without an attendant with only a friend or associate who didn't realize the severity of not doing weight shifts. It does not take much to get a sore. I know. I also know that this was not the first skin sore he had.
So now he has a sore. He has poor circulation which makes it that much harder to stave off an infection. He has taken lots of antibiotics which means that those pesky germs have developed an immunity to many of them. I read that this infection had a strong resistance to all the antibiotics they tried. He went septic. His body lost.
This is actually a fairly common scenario with high quads. The reason he lived as long as he did was the superior care he received.
It ain't easy being a cripple.
Update: I just found out that his chair was equipped with a puff and snip mechanism whereby he could do his own weight shifts. I hate to speak ill of the dead but it looks like it may have been carelessness on his part. Bummer!
If only we would elect John Fonda Kerry and Babyface this would never happen aqain.
I skipped a wine tasting last night because I didn't want to be hungover on my last day at work, but then I wound up drinking almost a full bottle of wine, so I guess I did look and feel my best.
I wrapped up some last minute stuff, sent some more stuff from my TCIDNN mail to my home mail, cleaned out my desk, packed up the rest of my stuff and took off around 1:30. Before I left, we had a team conference call so I could try once again to do a core dump and pass on all the knowledge I have acquired in 15 years as an MVS/VM/VSE systems programmer.
I went to bed when I got home to take a nap. The phone rang around 2:45 and I let the answering machine answer. It was my team lead. He already had some questions. It had to do with virtual coupling facilities. I was stumped on the problem this morning and I'll tell him so when I call him back tomorrow. This is a VM issue and I asked the VM guy about it and he knew less than I did. I checked the books and they weren't any help either.
On to the debate preview. I expect to hear "I have a plan" at least ten times. He'll probably bring up the bullshit that if only the gummint would fund embryonic stem cell research his friend Christopher Reeve would walk again. What? He's dead? Also, we will hear the obligatory tax cuts for the rich and the loss of jobs.
I'm still tired so I won't be blogging after the debate. Jim From Downunder sent me the following that he thinks I should give TCIDNN as a going away present.
This works on PC's. For mainframe DASD I would have to use ICKDSF.
I'm sorry. I'm not gonna post any pictures tonight. I'm not even gonna do a decent rant. Y'know why? Because I am really bummed out.
Just when I think the Dimocrats can't sink any lower they do. I mean these are the people who have embraced Michael Moore, an anti-American asshole. These are the people who did everything in their power to undermine America during the Cold War. These are the people who are doing everything in their power to undermine the war on terror. Poor Zell Miller. He is still a Dimocrat but I understand how he feels about his party. I wonder how Joe Lieberman feels?
What am I pissed about? Christopher Reeve died and Babyface is politicizing his death. He's trying to say if only Bush hadn't stopped gummint funding of embryonic stem cell research Reeve would be alive and walking. Of course Bush didn't stop gummint funding of embyonic stem cell research. He only said that the gummint wouldn't fund any new lines, but as usual facts mean nothing to the Dimocrats.
Babyface, who has made millions suing doctors and insurance companies using junk science, who has driven many doctors out of business, now is using the death of someone who would never, ever walk again (Trust me, I'm a crip. I know. I stay on top of stuff like this.) to advance his political agenda. Do you wonder why I despise John Edwards and John Fonda Kerry?
I am so disgusted that I cannot write anymore tonight. I hope all my liberal readers like Robin and Cat Shit are proud of their heroes.
It's times like this that I really wish there were a God. I wish there were a hell so assholes like Kerry and Edwards would go there after they die. I am at a loss for words and that doesn't happen too often.
How do they sleep at night? I couldn't.
I've been cleaning out my mailbox at work and shipping all the good stuff to my home account. That means I am inundated with material to post so I may cut back somewhat on original stuff. In other words, I may get a little lazy, like tonight.
Liberals hated Ronald Reagan, and now George W. Bush because they saw things in black and white rather than varying shades of gray. For example, Ronald Reagan saw the Soviet Union and communism as evil. Liberals didn't. They didn't realize that we were at war. They thought we could reach an accord with the Soviet Union. Reagan thought we could defeat them and we did.
Of course now liberals say, "Of course we wanted to win the Cold War." Even Flipper talked about seeing KGB headquarters at "Treblinka Square". Actually Treblinka was a WWII death camp. KGB headquarters was at Lubyanka Square. Just like the Packers play at Lambeau Field and not Lambert Field, which happens to be the St. Louis airport. Can you imagine if Bush had made those two gaffes? The lamestream media would be trumpeting about how dumb he was. Lurch gets a pass.
Now we have the war on terror. When the president made his speech after 9/11 he told us it would be a long war. I told my friends Michael and Cindy at the time that I didn't think this was a war we would be willing to win. It would not take long before the liberals, like Michael Moore, began blaming America and would start doing everything in their power to undermine the war just like they did everything in their power to undermine the Cold War.
Here we are and I am right. Once again we have liberals belittling our president for his simplistic world view. But he's right. It is simple. We have Islamic terrorists who want to kill us. They do not want to talk to us. They do not want to sit around a fire and sing Kumbaya. They want to destroy us and our way of life.
In one of life's delicious ironies, the same people who want to appease the terrorists and try to reason with them are the same people that the terrorists hate. Without making any judgements here are some of the things these Islamic fundos hate.
The freedom of our women and the way they dress. They think women should be property and be dressed in tents.
Our tolerance of homosexuality. They want to kill all homosexuals. And let's not even bring up gay marriage.
Our movies and the sexual content that they contain.
Someone like Barbra Streisand, who is against the war on terror, would be a primary target of these whack jobs.
The president believes that we are good and they are evil. We should live and they should die. We should fight them in the Middle East so we don't have to fight them here.
What does John Fonda Kerry believe? My friend Pres sent me the following:
I am John Kerry.
I was against the first Iraq war, I am against the second Iraq war,
but I voted for it. Now I'm against it but I was for it. I support
the UN. I'm against terrorism and against the Iraq war. But I voted
for the Iraq war. So, I voted against the first war and supported
the second war, wait...
I'm against gay marriage but for gay unions. I support gays but
think the San Francisco mayor is wrong. I support gay marriages.
No, wait, gay unions.
I'm Catholic. Wait, I'm Jewish. My dad was Jewish. But I was raised
Catholic. What am I? I don't want to confuse people.
I am for abortions, but wait, I'm Catholic, and Catholics are
pro-life. But I might consider putting pro-life judges in office,
but I'm not sure. I do know I voted for a pro-life judge, but I
stated that it was a mistake.
I went to Vietnam. But I was against Vietnam. I testified against
fellow US troops in Vietnam, threw my medals away and led others to
do the same. But I am a war hero. Against the war.
I stated I threw my medals away then I threw my ribbons away. I
then revealed that I threw my ribbons away but not my medals, then
lately I stated that I threw someone else's medals away and never
threw anything of mine away.
I believe Ribbons and medals aren't the same thing. Medals come
with ribbons, so now I believe that ribbons and medals are the same
thing besides the fact that ribbons are cloth and medals are metal.
I wrote a book that pictured the US flag upside-down on its cover.
But now I fly and campaign in a plane with a large flag right-side
up on it. But sometimes, we fly upside-down for fun.
Yasser Arafat is a hero and a statesman. The Israelis shouldn't
kill Palestinian terrorists, but they should stop terrorism. Yasser
Arafat is a terrorist supporter. I support Mideast peace.
I am for the common man, unlike Bush. I am against the rich. But my
family is worth 700 million dollars has a jet and many SUVs. I am
the common man.
I am against sending jobs overseas. My wife is a Heinz heir. Heinz
has most factories offshore. I am against rewarding companies for
exporting jobs as long as it is not Heinz.
I own $1 million in Wal-Mart stock. I believe Wal-Mart is evil by
driving small business owners out of town. I am a capitalist and I
own part of Wal-Mart but I am a good guy for small corporate
America.
I own SUVs when I talk to my followers in Detroit, MI. Teresa owns
SUVs, I don't, when I talk to tree hugging followers. I have a
campaign jet that gets 1/3 mpg, which is great fuel efficiency.
I am against making military service an issue in presidential
elections. I defended a draft dodger Clinton and stated that all
serve in their own capacity whether they draft dodge or not. Did I
mention, I served in Vietnam and am a hero? Are you questioning my
patriotism? I served in Vietnam. My opponent didn't. I have three
purple hearts! I am a hero. I am qualified to run this country
since I served.
I spent christmas of 1968 in Cambodia, being shot at by the drunken
South Vietnamese and the Khmer Rouge, while president Nixon was
lying to the country and saying that there were no troops in
Cambodia. What's that you say, Nixon wasn't president in 1968, well
it must have been some other president then. Who was that president
with a phony silver star, it was probably him.
Are you sure the Khmer Rouge were not active until 1970, well I
guess I must not have been there then. That's right I was actually
in my basecamp in Vietnam at least 55 miles from the Cambodian
border and I spent the evening writing in my journal about being in
Cambodia. I got confused after I said it so many times between 1968
and 1986.
I am a real hero though, just spend three minutes with the people
who served with me and they will tell you. No, not those 200 plus
veterans who served with me and say I lied, and not all those
veterans that signed affadavits that say I am a phony, I mean just
these 8 people that travel around with me (my band of brothers).
I am John Kerry. I want to be your President
Ain't nuance grand?
This one came from my friend Richard and it is for all of us computer geeks.
A man was careless when he installed software on his new laptop,
and a virus infected the machine. It randomly inserted profanity
in his e-mails. The owner did not realize what was happening until
he had offended all of his friends. When he was told of the problem,
he decided to punish the computer. First, he sprinkled highway deicing
mixture on the power supply terminals to cause corrosion. Then, he
scraped away the solder joints from the motherboard. He finished by
throwing the computer from his hotel window. The next morning, he was
arrested and charged with ...
... a salted battery, breach of contacts, and making an obscene clone fall!
I have three working days left at TCIDNN (The Company I Dare Not Name). I am working Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week and then I am on vacation until the end of the month which will be my official separation date. So now will I spill the beans about the name of the company I work for? No. I'm gonna wait a while.
My management, in its ultimate wisdom, hasn't yet hired a replacement for me. When I leave I'm walking out the door with sysplex skills, network skills and hardware configuration skills. Currently there is no one who can do those jobs at my level. Even if they do manage to hire someone with those skills he still has to learn the environment.
For example, we are going through a massive processor migration project. All the network stuff I have done has been temporary until the project is finished. At that time, I was gonna redo the network into its final configuration, make all the changes permanent, and document them. It's not gonna happen.
I was gonna completely redo the sysplex lab so we could move two obsolete processors out the door. Isn't gonna happen.
Am I indispenable? Hell no! No one is indispensible. I know that. But it is gonna take my replacement time to learn our environment. All the projects will be extended. Things will not run as smoothly.
Were I in management's shoes I would do two things. I would bring the old network guy back to complete and document all the network changes. He doesn't really want to come back, but he did say that he would come back and work until it was finished. He could probably do it in less than a month working 20 hours a week. Unfortunately, management says he is too expensive and won't bring him back.
The second thing I would do would be to ask me to contract part time until I had my replacement up to speed. I don't think that will happen because my ex-CDSM®(Clueless Dipshit Manager) is jumping for joy at the thought of me leaving.
Just in case they do offer me the chance, I would do it on a part time basis. Therefore, I have decided not to burn any bridges and will keep the identity of TCIDNN secret until I know there is no chance of me returning.
Click on picture for a larget view.
If you cannot find Lurch in one minute you are probably a Dimocrat.
This was sent to me by Jim From Downunder who has sent me so much material lately I thought it was time to put him on my blogroll.
And let's hear it for John Howard who won reelection. Now if only we can do the same thing to Flipper that the Aussies did to Mark Latham, their version of John Fonda Kerry.
This is my friend Pres back in '68 or '69 on the USS Iredell County. He's probably calling out for a pizza.
I'm having my friends Wahoo and Jeanella over tonight for Wahoo's birthday.
Wahoo? Where did that name come from?
He won't say for sure, but his last name is McDaniel and he is a big dude so I think he got it from the wrestler. He does like his beer. I know someone who thought he got the name 'cause he drinks like a fish.
Here's a Saturday joke.
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven.
There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"
Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."
James Madison entered, kicked Osama and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!"
These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and writhing! in unbearable pain an Angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me."
The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you up here. What did you think I said?"
Sorry. I'm once again preempting Saturday Boobage to present a public service announcement. This time it's on car safety.
Do you think we should warn Cat Shit about this?
From my friend Pres.
It was a tie, which after the last debate means it's a win for the president.
Flipper:
Tax cuts for the rich - 12 times
Reach out to our allies - 8 times
Viet Nam - 1 time
Bush:
Working hard - 2 times.
Of course we had to hear the obligatory "We let Osama get away". Did we? Where is Osama?
Hey Matt, here's an idea for your Photoshop skills. Take a Where's Waldo? picture and put Osama in the place of Waldo.
But back to Osama. Don't you wonder why it's been over two years since we have seen a video of Osama bin Laden? Don't you think he'd want to put one out there just to thumb his nose at us and rally al Qaeda? And how long has it been since we've even heard an audio of him? What's up with that? Could it be that the world's most wanted terrorist is actually pushing up daisies somewhere?
I've got another question. Given that Lurch has consistently voted against any increases in military spending during his 20 years in the Senate, should we really believe that he would be willing to increase the size of the military by 40,000 men? Maybe he'll propose it and then veto it, ya know like Charles Rangel did with his draft bill. He introduced it and then voted against it.
Just remember the last Dimocrat who looked right at the camera and promised not to raise taxes and said that he would give us a middle class tax cut. It was Bill Clinton in 1992 and we know how that turned out. Ann Coulter says it best.
"The common wisdom holds that "both parties" have to appeal to the extremes during the primary and then move to the center for the general election. To the contrary, both parties run for office as conservatives. Once they have fooled the voters and are safely in office, Republicans sometimes double-cross the voters. Democrats always do."
The president had the best line all night. "Wanna buy some wood?"
Flipper had me rolling on the floor laughing my ass off when he said that he could give a certain reply but that would be pandering. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
What is it with John Fonda Kerry and the crips? First he uses Stumpy Cleland as a prop and now he has to drag Christopher Reeve in when discussing stem cells. Two things:
1. The lady made a point. So far adult stem cells have shown far more promise than embryonic stem cells.
2. Christopher Reeve is never gonna walk again without mechanical assistance. Even if they could magically get his nerves (which are upper motor neurons) to grow across the scar tissue in his spinal cord and regenerate all the way down the cord they would then have to regenerate the nerves (lower motor neurons) outside the cord. Everything below his level of injury is completely dead and gone. As a crip myself I keep track of this shit. We are years away from regrowing upper and lower motor neurons from scratch which is what would have to take place.
Here's another line from Jim From Downunder
"Voting for Kerry to save America is like fucking to save virginity".
He left out Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter.
From Charlieb.
To: Joe Edwards
From: Barbra Streisand
Dear Jimmy
I saw you on television the other night debating that Shiney guy. You won hands down! Not only are you smart but you are really, really handsome. You even have better hair than Jeff Kerry. As eloquent and intelligent as he is, you are even better. I really think you should be leading the ticket, but I know that you will be an incredible assistant president.
That evil baldheaded guy kept trying to bombard us with facts and logic. You told us how evil these guys are and why we should elect you because you really, really care for us and the rest of the world. They are warmongers. You want to create alliances. When you guys get elected you will have no trouble getting France and Germany to sign on and the United Nations to get behind us and help us. I know that's true because you told us so. Then we can end this silly war.
After we get out of Irack, which should happen about three months after the election we can ask the rest of the world to forgive us and do important stuff like stopping global warming by signing the Coyote Treaty. I really don't know what coyotes have to do with global warming, but I'm sure you will be happy to explain it to me when I finally meet you at the inaguration.
Did I mention how smart I think you are? You're handsome too. Who was that fat lady you had taking care of your children? Was your wife unable to come to the debate? I just bet she's a real beauty to snag a nice looking guy like you.
Speaking of global warming and alternate sources of energy I have some other ideas that I've written to other prominent Democrats about. We have solar power right? We make electricity from sunlight. The moon shines right? Why don't we make electricity from moonlight? That way we could still make electricity after dark. Why don't we use starlight too?
I've got a lot of other ideas that I'm sure you will be happy to hear about. I can't wait until after the election when you and that tall guy win.
Luv ya,
Babs
But only if they were Dimocrats.
From Jeff.
Once upon a time there was a chicken farmer named Farmer Doctor. Farmer Doctor's costs were rising because foxes were raiding his chicken house.
One day a fox showed up at Farmer Doctor's door and introduced himself as John Fox Edwards. He told Farmer Doctor that he and his partner John Fox Kerry had a plan to help Farmer Doctor. This is akin to someone showing up at your door and saying, "I'm from the gummint and I'm here to help you".
The plan would work this way. There would be no limit as to how many chickens a fox could steal from Farmer Doctor's chicken house. What the foxes would do was convene a committee of foxes every time this happened and see if the raiding fox was justified in stealing the chickens. Let me repeat this. It would be foxes who would decide whether or not another fox was justified in stealing Farmer Doctor's chickens. If the fox was not justified the first time, and remember it would be other foxes who decided this, he would be told that he was a bad fox. Nothing else would happen.
The offending fox would be allowed to do an unjustified raid two more times, and remember it would be other foxes who would decide this, and then he would be told he couldn't do it anymore. John Fox Edwards didn't tell Farmer Doctor how they would stop the fox from raiding Farmer Doctor's chicken house after that. And this would be for just one fox. Foxes can have many partners. There are many other foxes out there.
I have just explained the Kerry/Edwards plan to limit the malpractice suits that are driving up health care costs and driving doctors out of business. You do know that in North Carolina, where John Edwards made his fortune suing obstreticians, a person has to drive to a large city to find an obstretician don't you? A small town does not generate the revenue an obstretician requires to pay malpractice insurance and still make a living. Even in large cities there is a shortage because many OB/GYN's have decided to drop the OB and concentrate on GYN only.
So when you people in North Carolina have to drive 90 miles to see an obstretician you can thank Babyface for that.
I'm sure North Carolina is the rule not the exception.
If CBS wanted to regain an ounce of credibility they would jettison Dan. Instead, they're gonna wait until after the election to do the investigation so it won't taint the election, whereas they didn't care that bogus forgeries would taint the election. Makes perfect sense to me. Liberal bias? Naah!
Sent to me by Nancy.
After getting a job at the IRS, a young hotshot gets his first
assignment, auditing an aging rabbi.
Arriving at the synagogue, he decides to have a little fun. "Rabbi," he
says, "what do you do with your candle drippings?"
"Well," the elderly rabbi replies in surprise, "we send them to the
candle factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free candle."
"I see," the taxman says. "And what about the crumbs from your table?"
The rabbi looks at him, again taken aback. "Well, we send them to the
matzo-ball factory, and every once in a while, they send us a free jar
of matzo balls."
Nodding, the auditor asks his final question. "So tell me," he asks,
furrowing his brow, "what do you do with the foreskins from
circumcisions?"
By now, the rabbi is fed up. "Well, we send them to the IRS," he
answers slowly. "And every once in a while, they send us a little prick like
you."
Two Americas - 0 (Addison was right)
Tax Cuts for the rich - 3 (Expected more)
Halliburton - 5
Medical Costs - 8
Glad I didn't play. I would be hammered.
Addison - Cheney did blame the lawyers for heath care costs and I could not believe the solution the Poodle and Babyface have come up with. Let lawyers decide whether the suits have merit. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I cannot believe Babyface was able to come up with that one with a straight face.
I missed about five minutes of the debate after Babyface said the Dimocrat Party was the party of moral responsibility. I fell out of my chair and was banging the floor and laughing my ass off at anyone saying that the party of Ted Kennedy (murderer), Bill Clinton (sexual harasser and rapist), and Robert Byrd (Kleagle of the KKK) was the party of moral responsibility.
I do have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the excellent job that Gwen Iffel did. She actually asked Babyface some tough questions. Too bad he didn't answer all of them, like the second question when she asked if Saddam Hussein would still be in power if Kerry had been president.
It would be nice if we could have Cheney take Bush's place Friday night.
I don't have time tonight to do a decent post. Sorry. But here's a game we can play. It's a variant on the Kerry drinking game.
Every time Babyface says "Two Americas" have a drink.
Every time Babyface says "Tax cuts for the rich" or any variation of that phrase, have a drink.
Every time Babyface says "Affordable health care" have a drink.
I really don't think he'll mention Halliburton with Cheney right there but if he does, have a drink.
Call in sick tomorrow.
I feel kinda guilty for not posting a proper Saturday Boobage so I hope I can make it up by posting a picture of two unbelievable boobs that Charlie sent me. Enjoy.
Not to be outdone by CBS, Cynthia Tucker, the liberal editor of the editorial page of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation, wrote her own Fake But Accurate op-ed piece about the Bush administration's secret plan to reinstate the draft. I know the AJC has gone out of its collective mind because last week they endorsed Johnny Isakson, a Republican, in the senatorial race. WTF? Anyway, let's see what kind of fantasy Cynthia has concocted.
The Bush administration is trying to quash a rumor that keeps cropping up in cyberspace. For several months now, e-mails from an unknown source
Unknown source = Bush hater. Or maybe they came from CBS. Or perhaps a Kinko's in Texas.
have warned that President Bush plans to reinstitute the draft if he wins a second term.
The draft is coming! The draft is coming!
The rumor persists despite repeated denials from top-level administration figures. In Thursday's debate, Bush declared that the U.S. military will remain an all-volunteer force.
Because it would be political suicide to reinstate the draft, therefore, the Bush administration has no plans to do so.
Recently, Secretary of State Colin Powell told ABC's George Stephanopoulos that "President Bush has no plans for a draft, nor is a draft needed." And Congress would just as soon debate the revival of Prohibition, because a new draft is one of the few things that would be less popular than a new ban on booze.
But Cynthia still persists in her fantasy.
So why does the speculation about a draft have so much currency? Perhaps it's because Bush can't support his imperial ambitions without more soldiers --- a lot more.
Ah yes. The Great American Empire. After Iraq, we're gonna conquer Saudi Arabia and Iran. We'll let Israel handle Syria right after they complete their genocide on the Palestinians. Then we'll go into Europe and conquer France. That will be easier than Iraq and the nice thing is we won't even have to worry about an insurgency except from the Muslims living in France. We'll let England take care of the Netherlands. Then England, Poland, and we will conquer Germany. We'll let Italy handle Spain. With the help of Australia we'll conquer Japan. I can hardly wait! The world will be ours! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bills in the House and the Senate would revive conscription (though they lie dormant).
Cynthia doesn't bother to say who has submitted those bills. In the House it was Charles Rangel, a Dimocrat from Harlem who we know shares in Bush's dream of the Great American Empire. In the Senate it was Ernest Hollings, a Dimocrat from South Carolina who we know also wants us to have the Great American Empire. Yep it's them two warmongering, imperialistic Dimocrats.
And both John Kerry and Ralph Nader have done their share to fuel the rumor. Nader, especially, has tried for months to link Bush to a secret draft proposal. But none of that fully explains the widespread anxiety.
Gosh. I wonder why they would want to try to tie Bush to the draft? Hmmmmm. I'm stumped. But let's let Cynthia explain why there is a widespread anxiety.
Fear of conscription continues to float just below the surface because so many voters understand somewhere in the backs of their minds that Bush's military plans simply don't add up.
Maybe it's because you liberals, who know absolutely nothing about the military and secretly want us to lose in Iraq, keep saying that we are failing there. I get e-mails from soldiers who tell me just the opposite and they are royally pissed at the lamestream media undermining the war effort. You guys keep trying to compare Iraq to Viet Nam. The only comparison is the liberal media undermining the war effort just like they did in that war. You anti-American assholes make me want to puke!
A Pentagon advisory board recently issued a report stating the patently obvious: The U.S. military won't have enough troops in coming years to meet its continuing war and peacekeeping obligations. And respected military analyst Michael O'Hanlon has written, "The Army --- and perhaps the Marine Corps, as well . . . needs an immediate increase in active-duty troop levels."
Maybe they'll be able to recruit more people. Didja think of that?
It is not possible to keep nearly 140,000 troops in Iraq --- as the president's oft-stated "resolve" dictates --- while also continuing missions in the Balkans, following through on long-term commitments in Europe and confronting new threats in North Korea and Iran. (Some analysts have argued that the United States needs to add more troops to Iraq to provide the security needed for elections there.)
Here's a novel idea. Why don't we draw down our troops in Europe? Oooops! That's what we're doing. And d'ya remember when Clinton sent the forces to the Balkans? He said they would only be there for a year. How long ago was that? The Balkans are in Europe. Why don't we let France and Germany take care of that mess? It's in their backyard. Why are we cleaning up their bullshit? Because liberals like to use armies for humanitarian duties while conservatives like to use armies for strategic reasons. Y'know. The reason we have armies in the first place.
Even if Bush plans to rely on diplomacy with North Korea and Iran, diplomacy needs the credible threat of military action. At the moment, the United States cannot mount that credible threat.
That's why, for Korea, Bush wants multilateral negotiations and he wants China cracking down on North Korea. Can't you liberals ever be consistent? You want a multilateral action against Iraq (which we have but you belittle the members of the coalition) but a bilateral approach with North Korea. Make up your farking minds! I bet you would even like us to send Jimmah Carter back to North Korea so they can negotiate another treaty that they won't honor. And Kerry wants to give Iran nuclear materials. What are you assholes smoking?
Already, the Bush administration's ad-hoc strategy --- if it can be called a strategy --- is colliding with itself. Having failed to persuade allies to send more of their troops to Iraq, the Pentagon has instituted what Kerry calls a "back-door draft" --- "stop-loss" orders prohibit retirements or transfers of active-duty troops. In addition, National Guard and Reserve troops have been forced to accept unusually long tours.
War is hell!
Bush and his aides continue to engage in a denial that borders on the pathological: The United States is winning the war on terror; everything is going swimmingly in Iraq; and, of course, the military doesn't need any more troops. Even more amazing, they've been able to get away with this strange cognitive dissonance. Bush's poll ratings go up even as Iraq melts down.
Actually, Bush and his aides are listening to the generals who are running the war, not armchair generals like you. And once again, I am hearing a different story from the grunts who are actually in Iraq. One of them is my nephew.
But I have the feeling that more and more voters are getting the sense that something just doesn't add up. They might not want to think about it. If nothing else, Bush offers a sense of certainty in an uncertain world. But you've got to tamp down a lot of doubts to hang onto it.
Yep! As long as you and your liberal friends in the press do everything in your power to undermine the war effort, public opinion will turn against the war. After all, it worked in the Viet Nam era maybe you can make it work again. Then we can get back to your dream of turning the United States into a socialist utopia.
That's why those e-mails about the draft won't go away.
And you know if it's on the Internet it has to be true. Just like all the e-mails about the Clintons killing Vince Foster and Ron Brown. Those e-mails never went away. And howza 'bout all the Arkincide e-mails that documented all the people who died as a result of the Clintons. Those e-mails never went away.
Yep. There's gonna be a draft because there are e-mails about it.
The bridge I'm gonna sell you will only cost $10,000.
It's on E-Bay.
Holy cow! I forgot to put up a Monday pun. This is a really bad one that many of you won't get.
I was in a bar in San Francisco one day and there was a dancer on
stage. The bartender told me he employed twin dancers, Shelly and
Jan, who were working their way through college. He said Shelly
danced one day, and Jan the next. I asked him which one was dancing
that day. He looked up and said,
"It must be Shelly 'cause Jan don't shake like that."
Whassup! How come no one sent me this one?
Update. Matt sent me this link to what someone posted on his site.
Over the weekend I got to read two stupid liberal (Yeah I know. Redundant) phrases. The first was by Robin my frequent left leaning libertarian (That means liberal. He just won't admit it.) commenter who posted the following in the comments on my Romanian eidtorial post.
Too bad our current President has wasted that good will and thrown it in the trash.
I try not to be too hard on Robin because he is only 23 and is at the age where he is idealistic but also incredibly naive. I remember when I was 23 and knew everything.
By good will I assume he is talking about that global good will that the liberals keep carping about. Robin, here's a hint. If you don't want us to call you a liberal quit using the catch phrases from Liberal 101.
Ya see, after 9/11 we experienced a lot of global good will. Let me tell you sumpin' about global good will: That and $6 will buy you a latte at Starbucks.
Here's what the world really felt after 9/11. They felt that we had finally been brought down to their level. No longer would our oceans protect us. The most powerful nation on earth had been hit hard by terrorists. We were now one of them. They couldn't raise themselves to our level, but now we had been brought down to their level. All we had to do was listen to them and they would tell us how to handle terrorism. In a word, appease it.
Granted, not all nations felt that way. I know some people in Japan who sent me pictures of the flowers outside the American embassy in Tokyo. I know the Brits and the Aussies were on our side.
But we don't work that way. We fight back. And we did. Sacre bleu! That's not the French way.
We deserved what we got said America hating liberals like Michael Moore. In fact lardass was pissed that they hit New York because those were people who voted against Bush.
By fighting back we sacrificed global good will.
Actually I think countries oughta worry about losing United States good will.
We had to save Europe from itself in WWI and WWII. That was our good will.
We had to use our tax dollars to rebuild Europe after WWII. That was our good will.
We had to protect Europe from the Soviet Union during the Cold War. That was our good will.
We have countries badmouthing us while still holding out their hands and demanding money from us. We give it to them as a result of our good will.
We provide over 25% of the money to support the Unitied Nations while the United Nations does nothing for us. That's our good will.
We're gonna wind up protecting the world from Islamic terrorism with no help from the United Nations, France, or Germany. That's our good will.
What has the rest of the world done for us over the last 100 years?
Yeah Kerry said he's gonna build a coalition which means he's gonna get France and Germany on board. Reality calling liberals. France has said that it would not provide help under any circumstances. Chirac has already said that even if Kerry gets elected France will be no help. Darn! I was counting on them going in and teaching the insurgents how to surrender.
I don't give a flying fark about global good will. I only really care about our real friends England, Australia, Italy, Poland, and the other members of the coalition. France and Germany can sink into their socialist morass. In another ten years they will once again be begging for our good will. And ya know what? Because we're the good guys, we'll give it to them.
Howza 'bout the other stupid phrase? Well golly I started reading an op-ed about the Supreme Court in Sunday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation that started out like this:
In 2000 the Supreme Court decided who would be president for the next four years.
When I read a stupid statement like that it means the writer is stupid, ignorant, or a liberal. It turns out he is a liberal. He's probably also stupid and ignorant as well.
Liberals just love to say that it was the Supreme Court who selected Bush. Of course they are wrong but you can't tell them that. Logic to liberals is like a bra to men. It's sumpin' that gets in the way of sumpin' they want. They know what it is, they just have no use for it.
All the Supreme Court did was tell Florida that it had to obey its own election laws which the Florida Supreme Court (all Dimocrats by the way) was trying to change on the fly. And another thing that liberals do not like to mention is that Bush won all the recounts the Dimocrats wanted. Major media (liberal by the way) did recounts after the election and guess what? Bush still won. The lamestream media (who did the recounts) didn't make a big announcement of this because they lean left. Had their recounts shown Gore to have won, it would have been trumpeted all over the lamestream media. Dan Blather would have had it on 60 Minutes II. I must have missed that episode.
Tomorrow I'm gonna talk about how Cynthia Tucker believes what she reads on the internet. I mean there are e-mails going around the internet saying that Bush is gonna reinstate the draft so it must be true.
The Falcons are 4 and 0. I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe.
Damn! And I thought CBS was just a 527. It's worse than I thought.
I usually post a family picture or a military picture on Saturday, but I forgot to do it yesterday. So today I'm posting a picture that was taken in Yosemite National Park in 1980. From right to left is my brother-in-law Ryan, my sister Sherry, and me. This was taken before my nephew was born and when Ryan still had hair. This was also long before I became a grouchy old cripple. But I still have my hair.
I'm gonna have a rough evening tonight. Michael and Cindy are holding their annual Ten Years On Party. This is a party where everyone has to bring a ten year old red wine or a five year old white wine. They were originally gonna hold it out by their pool, but it is supposed to rain this afternoon so it may be moved indoors. Either way, it should be an excellent tasting.
Nancy sent me an excellent editorial from a country in Europe which actually admires us. As you're reading this, think of the perfidy of France. Also think of John Fonda Kerry because if it had been up to him and his friends in the Dimocrat Party Romania probably wouldn't be free today.
Also remember that Flipper talked about a strong defense in the debates, but he has consistently voted during his twenty years in the Senate to weaken defense.
He talked about the 100,000 pages of conversations that have not yet been translated. Remember that during his twenty years in the Senate he consistently voted to weaken intelligence.
He said he honored the warrior but not the war. Remember that he came home from Viet Nam and dishonored the warrior by lying about made up atrocities in Senate testimony. He even said that he himself was guilty of them. Why wasn't he then tried for war crimes?
His actions aided and abetted the enemy back then. Ask our POW's who had his testimony read to them by their captors. I sincerely believe he will cut and run from Iraq thus showing the Islamic terrorists that here is another weak Dimocrat in the mold of Jimmah Carter and Bill Clinton.
As you read this editorial, realize it was written before Farenheit 9/11 and before the America hating leftists in the Dimocrat Party and the Hollywood commies started bashing America again.
We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial about the USA. I
think this is very much worth reading and passing on. It says a lot.
Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper. The article was written by
Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title "C"ntarea Americii,
meaning "Ode To America" on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian newspaper
Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if
you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the world
and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious beliefs.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million people into a
hand put on the heart.
Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the army, and the secret services
that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their bank
accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape about. The
Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the smoking
ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the national
flag.
They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every place and on every
car a government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional song: "God Bless
America!" I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun for hours
listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred floors with a
woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of the Californian
hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the terrorists and
prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have killed other
hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being?
Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some turned
into a modern myth of tragic heroes And with every phone call, millions
and millions of dollars were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a
man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land? Their
galloping history? Their economic Power? Money? I tried for hours to find
an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding
commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion...Only freedom
can work such miracles.
End of excerpt.
Amen! It's no accident that the richest nation on earth is also the freeist. Even as the Islamic world and the EUnuchs like France and Germany hate us, they also envy us. I was lucky to be born here and I'm proud to be an American.
Global permission slip? We don't need no stinking global permission ship!
John Fonda Kerry and the rest of the world can kiss my American ass!
I'm sorry but there will be no Saturday Boobage this week. As a public service I felt it would be more important to alert all my male readers to a new scam that is taking place in our cities that was sent to me by a faithful reader.
CAUTION! Be on the lookout for this scam on the attachment.
A young woman proposes to wash your car window while you wait at the red light, and another one takes advantage of the distraction to open the back door and steal everything she can grab. Be warned, they are very well organized!!!
Don't leave your doors or windows unlocked if you drive up to a red light!
And if this happens to you, don't allow yourself to be distracted.
W: Karl! Get your ass in here on the double.
KR: Yes Mr President.
W: What was up with that Kerry dude last night?
KR: What do you mean Mr. President?
W: He only mentioned Viet Nam by name once last night. The other two times he called it "that war".
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: There were a lot of sober people who were planning on getting hammered playing the John Kerry Drinking Game.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: He did mention twice that he was in combat. That probably counts.
KR: I caught that Mr. President.
W: Dammit he was well coached! I was just waiting to spring the John Kerry Drinking Game on him and tell how he was encouraging irresponsible drinking, but he didn't perform as we had hoped.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: Hell, the bastard only mentioned Haliburton once and tax cuts three times. If he's not gonna stay in character how am I supposed to kick his ass?
KR: I don't know Mr. President.
W: What do you mean you don't know? I'm paying you to know. Look, I thought up the fake memos that we used to make Dan Rather look stupid. Do I have to do all the work? You're supposed to be the evil genius. Think up something evil.
KR: You did get him on that global permission statement. I sent that out to all the talk shows. We need to talk that one up.
W: Yeah that was a stupid thing for him to say. But, dammit, he left another dumb statement out there that I should have jumped on.
KR: Which one was that Mr. President?
W: He mentioned Kyoto. The Senate voted against that 98-0. I should have said that either he voted against it or he was out windsurfing and skipping yet another vote in the Senate.
KR: That would have been a good one Mr. President.
W: Instead I had to bring up that stupid International Criminal Court.
KR: You tried Mr. President.
W: The American people don't care about the ICC. They would care about turning this country into a Third World country if Kyoto was ratified.
KR: Yes Mr. President.
W: And when he started out with that bullshit about body armor I neglected to point out right then and there that he voted against the bill that would have done that.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: He's even got that hag wife of his to shut up. Every time she opens her mouth he drops in the polls.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: You better get some ringers in the audience for the next debate.
KR: It's in the plan Mr. President.
W: That's all we need is another close race. On the upside, if I win another close one that will make the rabid leftists foam at the mouth even more.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: Maybe some of 'em will even leave the country like they keep promising.
KR: I doubt it Mr. President.
W: Them Hollywood leftists never keep their promises.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: I'd like to see that cross-eyed bitch Barbra Streisand leave except she's so stupid that she comes off as comic relief.
KR: I know Mr. President.
W: Can't we get a picture of her and Lurch together?
KR: I'll see what I can do Mr. President.
W: You better. Now make sure you get the word out that according to the latest polls the French want Flipper to win.
KR: Yes Mr. President.
W: And think up something evil.
KR: Yes Mr. President.
This is the reason why I do not want John Fonda Kerry or any other current Dimocrat having anything to do with the Iraq War or foreign policy. Listening to the debates last night I see that Kerry wants to go back to the failed North Korean policy of Bill Clinton and noted foreign policy expert Jimmah Carter.
Sent to me by Charlieb.
