Just recently, one of my commenters declared that I was a victim. Why? Because I called myself a cripple. I called bullshit.
Why do I call myself a cripple? Two reasons:
For many years, before the advent of political correctness, it was a perfectly good word to describe my condition.
It is not a political correct term and it pisses people off when I use that word to describe myself.
To be politically correct, I guess I should have called this site Chronologically Challenged Disabled Person With A Personality Disorder In Atlanta.
He also stated that I was a victim of fate. Fate? Does that mean I was destined to break my back on September 24, 1988? I don't think so. I don't believe in fate. I don't believe things are ordained to happen.
Had I been hit by a drunk driver and crippled, then I would consider myself a victim. I wasn't. I did not take proper safety precautions. I fucked up. The only thing I was a victim of was carelessness and I paid the price.
Unlike Dick Gephardt, I don't believe that there is a "life's lottery". He once stated that poor people were not the winners in life's lottery. Yes, some poor people are unlucky. Others choose to be poor by making bad decisions.
I made a bad decision one Saturday morning while cutting down a tree that changed my life. I could have considered myself a victim and given up, but I don't work that way. I was fortunate to work for IBM where I had good medical insurance, good disability benefits while off work, and a job waiting for me when I returned. I could have dogged it when I returned, but I didn't. I worked harder than I ever did in my entire life.
I worked hard in rehab so I could walk again. I worked hard at work so no one could say that the only reason I had a job was because I was a cripple. There was a two year period at IBM where I was working the hours of a full time instructor while at the same time doing a full time systems programmer job. I multiplexed real well. I worked for a manager who rewarded me for my work and in turn that made me work even harder, sometimes to the detriment of my health.
At no time did I consider myself a victim. Well, I have to amend that last statement. During my last few years at IBM, when I worked for the CDSM® (Clueless Dipshit Manager) I was a victim of management incompetence, but I was at the end of my career so I just worked down to my rating.
I am not a victim and I refuse to be labeled as one.
Jeff sent me these pictures from Iraq that were too shocking for the Lamestream Media to publish. Warning! These are graphic pictures of the atrocities being committed by American soldiers and how much the Iraqi people hate us.
The horror! The horror!
Ooops! Almost forgot the Monday Pun. This one is from Richard.
The pirate was standing in his treasure pile.
He didn't have very much:
his booty was only shin-deep.
I hope all of my readers will take some tine to think of and thank all the men and women who have served in the military in defense of our country. It is heartwarming to see a commercial like the Budweiser commercial where everyone in the airport applauds the men and women in uniform. That has actually happened in real life.
In spite of all the efforts of the elitist liberals on both coasts or as Orson Scott Card refers to them as citizens of Smartland, the Americans in the heartland support our troops. Just like during Viet Nam we have the Lamestream Media and the liberal elite, the citizens of Smartland, who want us to lose a war. I simply cannot understand their thought processes. Doesn't that twit Janeane Garofalo realize that radical Islam wants to take over the world and institute Islamic law? She'd have to wear a burkha. Well, that would be an improvement.
The 20th Century was all about fighting communism and fascism. This century is gonna be about fighting radical Islam. These assholes are fanatics and cannot be appeased or reasoned with. Heaven help us if they are able to smuggle a nuke into this country. They will use it.
We decided to take the fight to them and we are winning. My nephew was in Iraq and I got a different story from him than what I had been reading in the Lamestream Media.
I am proud of my nephew for serving his country. The residents of Smartland have been telling us that the military is made up of poor people while the children of well off families do not serve. My nephew comes from an upper middle class family and he's not the only one.
When I joined the Navy, I was a member of the lower middle class. I had flunked out of college and was about to get drafted, so I joined the Navy to learn electronics. I went to college on the GI Bill. I have something in common with Steven Den Beste, neither of us graduated from college. He went on to become an engineer, and I eventually became a software engineer after having been a customer engineer in the Office Products Division of IBM fixing typewriters, a customer engineer in the Field Engineering Division of IBM fixing large mainframes and peripherals, and an instructor in the various different incarnations of IBM education teaching both hardware and software to IBM'ers and customers. It was my Navy training that gave me the background to advance at IBM. I worked there for 31.5 years.
I've talked about the military being one way to escape from poverty in other posts. It is an opportunity to not only serve the country, but to gain valuable training and experience to get ahead as a civilian. Many of my peers at IBM were ex-military.
For Memorial Day, I'm gonna whip up some potato salad and barbeque a pork steak. I live in Georgia, but I'm having a typical St. Louis type cookout.
I will take some time during the day to think of all the people who have served and are currently serving. That includes Dan S. and SSG DAVE WALLACH. Thanks guys and thanks to everyone else who has served. All of you have helped to make this the greatest country on the planet. Those of us privileged to live in the Red State Heartland are behind you all the way.
P. J. O'Rourke and I are the same age. I just wish I could write stuff like he does.
On boy bands:
All boy bands consist of The Cute One, The Moody One, The Rebellious One, The Ethnic One and The Dork.
The Tree Hugger 1 Sent to me by Woody and Catfish.
A golfer is looking for his ball in the woods when he comes up to
another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the trunk.
Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are
you doing?"
"I'm listening to the music of the tree."
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
"Well, OK..."
So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up
against the tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of handcuffs
on him on the other side of the tree, takes his wallet, jewelry,
car keys, the he strips him naked and leaves.
Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy
handcuffed to the tree, stark naked, and asks, "What the hell
happened to you?"
So he tells the guy the whole story about how he got there.
While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in
sympathy, walks around behind him, kisses him gently
behind the ear and says, "This just ain't gonna be your day."
The Tree Hugger 2 Sent to me by Charlieb.
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. she told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and than told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."
I just heard on the news that taking Viagra might make you go blind. What next? Will it cause hair to grow on palms?
To: John McClane
From: Barbra Streisand
Dear Jim:
At last we have a Republican we can count on. Thank you for coming up with the compromise to preserve the filibluster. As you know, the filibluster is in the Constitution and those Nazi Republicans were trying to make a naked power grab. It's bad enough that Busch stole the 2000 election. Then he conspired with the company who makes the voting machines to steal the election in Ohio and get a second term. With enough recounts that tall guy with the nice hair would have won.
Why don't you switch parties and become a Democrat. Everything I hear about you says that your beliefs are closer to the Democrats than those fascist Republicans.
I'm just worried that Joe W. Bush will appoint judges that will take us back to the days before civil rights for everyone. If we're not careful, the Republicans will bring back slavery. Everyone knows that it was Abraham Linkon and the Democrats who freed the slaves. If it weren't for Southern Democrats like Senator Richard Byrd and Al what's-his-names father the civil rights that Michael Luther King fought for would have never happened. Republicans filiblustered against civil rights. I know my history.
Anyway thanks for helping out Charles Shuman and Tom Kennedy in their fight to keep extremist judges off the bench. You are a great American. Tell Helen Clinton how much I love her and I'll vote for her in 2007 when she runs for president.
Luv ya,
Babs
For my latest troll SSG DAVE WALLACH.
I see they must have really dropped the standards to be an NCO since I was in the military. BTW DAVE, HERE'S A CLUE.
The above image was shamelessly stolen from Maddox.
All my readers are laughing at you, and it's a shame because this is a pro-military site and we all feel bad about making fun of someone serving this country. I have a nephew who just returned from Iraq and is gonna make the Army his career. I hope he doesn't run into a wingnut like you. I suggest you get some psychiatric help. Might I advise you to read The Rules before commenting again. I will make fun of you and I will humiliate you.
Or perhaps he cannot afford gas.
Semt to me by my sis' former neighbor and Charlieb.
How often does John McCain have sex with his wife? Never. Every time he gets horny he screws the Republican Party.
Let's start off with that deplorable McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform bullshit. The only people who gave a flying fuck about campaign finance reform were John McCain, Russ Feingold, and the Lamestream Media. The man in the street couldn't care less.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Exactly what part of "abridging the freedom of speech" is unclear? That's what MCain-Feingold does. A pox on John MCain and Russ Feingold for authoring this bill. A pox on George W. Bush for signing this bill. A pox upon the Supreme Court for not finding this bill unconstitutional. If there is any doubt that the American judiciary needs to become more conservative, this bullshit is exhibit A.
There is no way to legislate money out of politics. Anyone who thinks that there is, please e-mail me so I can become your investment counselor. I've got all sorts of investments that will double or triple your money. Trust me.
The only campaign finance law I want to see is full disclosure. I want to know which politicans are being bought and by whom they are being bought. We have the best politicians that money can buy. I want to see what they are charging.
John McCain is the darling of the Lamestream Media because he is a RINO. He's made this agreement with the Dimocrats that is totally worthless. C'mon, when has any Dimocrat kept his word?
During the second term of Ronald Reagan's presidency he agreed to raise taxes if the Dimocrats would cut spending. Guess what? The Dimocrats reneged. Big surprise.
Bush Pere agreed to raise taxes if the Dimocrats would cut spending. Guess what? They reneged. Big surprise. It cost Bush Pere a second term.
Now John McCain has made an agreement with the Dims that they would only filibuster judicial appointments due to extraordinary circumstances. WTF does that mean? Anything the Dimocrats want it to mean. Wham! Bam! Thank you ma'am! McCain just capitulated to the Dimocrats and at the same time screwed the Republicans. This asshole wants to be president? He may as well run as a Dimocrat because he sure as shit ain't a Republican, the traitorous fuck.
I've stated before that I want to see Dimocrats filibuster judges. I want to see them shut down the gummint. I want to see Harry Reid go the way of Tom Daschle, but he doesn't have to worry. None of the Dims have to worry. They have John McCain to give them cover.
That's why I hate John McCain.
Update: Babalu put this link in the comments. How I wish I could write like Peggy Noonan!
Drove back from Lake Carolina this morning. I got to watch 24 in HD last night. Braless Mandy's tits were nice and perky in HD. She got immunity, so we'll get to see her yet again in future epidodes.
At one point in the episode Buchanan said that they were stretched too thin. They didn't have enough agents left. Yeah, that's 'cause almost everyone who gets sent out with Jack gets killed.
Bitchelle got to play turnabout and commit treason to save Soul Patch but wasn't able to go through with it. Soul Patch gets blown up in a car, but jack doesn't believe it. He's right. Soul Patch lives. Bitchelle is relieved.
CTU fucks up and lets Burns get captured by the Chinese and he gives up Jack.
Jack loses the Mummy once again except this time he loses him over the side of a building and the Mummy falls to his death.
Was there any doubt the missile was heading for LA? Now if I were a terrorist with a nuke, I wouldn't go after LA. All you're gonna hit there are illegal aliens and liberals who oppose the War on Terror. Wiping out LA could do conservatives a big favor. New York, even though it's populated by liberals, at least is a financial center and, it's closer to Iowa.
The Veep, who spent most of his time fucking up, took most of the credit for averting disaster.
Jack's wanted by the Chinese, and the Veep was gonna give him up, but the Veep's security chief told the stereotypical bad guy Secret Service agent to kill Jack. I know that guy. He played the dude with the diamond in his teeth in Remo Williams. There's a shoot out at CTU. Jack dies. Potato Face is distraught. After the bad guy leaves, Soul Patch gives Jack a shot to bring him back to life. He can't die. There's gonna be a fifth season of 24.
Skinny Skank had a real bad day. She got kidnapped, she lost her husband, she found out her brother was gay, and then Jack, whom she just dumped but still loves dies. They didn't tell her he was still alive.
At the end Soul Patch and Bitchelle drop Jack off near the border. Evidently he's headed for Mexico to lay low for a while.
Next season of 24 starts in January.
Bring back Mandy. She's a babe!
Update:
My Babe List in order of babitude (or would it be babeitude?)
1. Mandy - I love black haired women with light eyes. Since she got immunity, she'll probably be back next season.
2. Special Agent Breck (Sarah) - Had black hair. Eyes were dark, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed unless I could beat her to the floor. I was sorry to see her get fired by Bitchelle.
3. Not Mandy - The babe who slept with the Air Force guy and then got shot by Jack because she didn't realize that drywall doesn't stop bullets.
Bitchell and Skinny Skank didn't do anything for me and of course Potato Face would never be considered a babe except by someone like Lispy Skip.
On next season - Maybe Jack will start a CTU in Mexico.
I guess I should get the DVD's of the first three seasons. During the first season didn't Mandy get it on with some Eurotrash photographer in an airplane to steal his ID and then blow up the plane after bailing out of it?
There's some new evidence in the Michael Jackson trial and it doesn't look too good for Michael.
From Pres.
This is another pun that Airboss sent me right before he passed away. He is gone, but he will live forever in the memories of his friends and me. Dammit Steve! I miss you!
Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality; their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression ...
... "He who has a Tates is lost!"
I just love this.
The Kern County, California, Sheriff's Department orders plain white patrol units and has the graphics applied locally. In this case, what they ordered was not quite what they got. This car was driven for 1 week before an officer noticed what the Graphics company employee did on the passenger side of the car. The employee did this on his last day working for the graphics company before he retired.
Y'know, I always thought I would do sumpin' crazy right before I retired, but I wimped out and went gently into the night. I did get some money to shut me up, though.
My sis' former neighbor is out visiting, so I'm gonna head up to Columbia in the morning. Fear not! I have a Monday Pun ready to go and will post it Sunday night or Monday morning.
From Catfish
Headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California!
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally . scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent it. I didn't write it!)
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Undocumented Mexicans...
Ok, I know you all know how I have felt about illegal Mexicans in this country. I've ranted and raved and carried on about them. I must confess I never really took the time nor the trouble to explore why they come here.
I, in my arrogance I presume, never initiated any contact nor for that matter ever really gave any semblance of a smile to anyone I thought possibly could be an illegal. I don't know why or how to explain how I came to know the Jurado family.
Once they related to me the tragic story of how they were orphaned by a mudslide in Mexico and the hardships they faced as orphans thereafter, my heart could not help but melt as I reached out to embrace them.
Therefore in defiance of the United States policies on illegal immigrants, I have taken them into my home. This action alone caused me a hardship as my girlfriend decided to leave me because I had opened my home to strangers. I forgive her for leaving but will try hard to accept she is gone.
In appreciation, my new family members have given me as a token of their appreciation, their group photo. I now wish to share with you.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Made ya look! It's Saturday Boobage.
Well, Osama is ugly enough for Clinton.
From Brenda.
An apt symbol for the future of Medicare. Medicare is gonna "hit the wall" before Social Security, it will be an even bigger mess, and it will in all probability lead to the socialists' dream of socialized medicine. Then where will Canadians go to avoid the waiting lists in Canada?
Sent to me by Charlieb.
Neal Boortz does a lot of ranting about the fear of people flying small airplanes into buildings or chemical plants. As he rightly points out, a truck full of explosives can do far more damage than a small airplane. With that in mind, here is a bumper sticker for him sent to me by my buddy Richard.
Yeah. Yeah. I know. He flies a Mooney.
Oh well, I see I missed another blog war. Nope! Not telling who the participants were. Doesn't matter. It's all bullshit anyway. I outgrew that stuff two years ago when I had my one and only war with another blogger. After that I pretty much said the hell with it. I dislike having a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed. Now the only people I fight with are trolls and I look on that as sport.
You have to consider the source on some of these wars anyway. Bloggers have their own personae and often what they will put on their blog is not what they would say face to face. I'm not as grouchy in person as I am on this blog.
Some bloggers blog when they're hammered. I have been known to do that once in a while. My writing is much more vitriolic when I'm drinking.
Some of the stuff people write should just be ignored. Of course, there are people, mainly French trolls, who think that everything I write should be ignored. That's 'cause they cannot face the truth that they live in a shitty little pissant country whose glory days are in the past.
But I digress. Lighten up! It's just blogging. It's supposed to be fun. Laugh it off! Blogging, like life, shouldn't be taken too seriously.
Hey Senator Reid! Filibuster this!
From Robin. No, not that one. Another Robin.
Your Political Profile |
| Overall: 80% Conservative, 20% Liberal |
| Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
| Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
| Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal |
| Ethics: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal |
| Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
I don't understand the 50/50 on personal responsibility. I didn't know that liberals believed in personal responsibility. When did that shit start?
I gotta quit taking these bloody quizes! I guess an anarchism must relate to Libertarian? Where did the socialist, communist and, Dimocrat scores come from?
You scored as Anarchism.
What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com |
I sucked on this one, but then, I did have a Stoly on the rocks and a half a bottle of wine. Betcha my sister aces it. No fair using a dictionary for the spelling.
Your English Skills: |
| Grammar: 80% |
| Vocabulary: 80% |
| Punctuation: 60% |
| Spelling: 60% |
After yet another debacle, the Lamestream Media is circling the wagons. Ya see, the Newsweak story was ... wait for it ... all the fault of the Bush administration. Yep! Because Bush "lied and people died" it doesn't matter what the LSM publishes. It could be true, so let's go with it. Fake but accurate. And the assholes are wondering why newspaper readership is down.
I like reading newspapers. I always have. I still do. At one time, Atlanta had two newspapers: the Constitution (liberal) in the morning and the Journal (conservative) in the afternoon. A few years back they merged into the Urinal and Constipation. They have one conservative, Jim wooten, on their editorial staff, but the opinion section is run by Cynthia Tucker an unabashed liberal. I'm stuck reading the AJC.
So, why was I not surprised when I saw this cartoon in Wednesday's paper? Yep! Because "Bush lied" it's all right for Newsweak to run with an unsupported story.
Then, of course there were letters. Every single one had the "Bush lied, people died meme". The AJC prefaced these letters with the following:
Editor's note: By far the majority of letters about the retracted Newsweek article were critical of the Bush administration.
Even so, there was not a single letter taking Newsweak to task. They were all anti-Bush. When there are letters that overwhelmingly support conservative issues, the AJC always publishes letters from liberals as a balance. The person who edits the letters actually wrote a column stating that the paper tried to maintain a balance with readers' letters. Yeah. I believe that bullshit.
One of the reasons I started blogging in the first place was because the AJC only printed three of the eight letters I wrote to them. Bastards! Can't recognize talent.
It's really sad that bloggers have higher standards than the LSM. I've published stuff that wasn't true and my readers have fact checked my ass within twenty four hours. Anyway, I write opinion. I don't masquerade as an objective reporter.
Michael Isikoff meet Dan Rather. LSM, continue sinking into irrelevance.
Sounds like he's management material at IBM.
From Catfish.
Charlieb just informed me that Wednesday, May 18th is Slap Your Irritating Co-worker Day.
Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!
Wednesday is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day.
Had a great time at the banquet last night. The wines were all excellent. The Barbaresco is still too young, but it tasted great. One of the members brought a real nice Barolo that he shared with some of us.
We only had 28 people attend. Normally that would take three bottles of each wine. We had four bottles so the pours were more generous than usual. I felt it today. It's nice being retired. I was able to sleep in.
Didja see 24? Holy crap! We got to see Bitchelle and Soul Patch play a little tonsil hockey. The Mummy has another babe working for him. Where does he find these wimmens? Little Richard is gay. So that's what he was hiding. I see Palmer is moonlighting shilling for Allstate. And the Mummy escaped again.
Charlieb has a 3500 watt generator for sale. He sent me a picture of it.
I'm attending the annual banquet for the Sommelier Guild of Atlanta tonight. I was responsible for finding the restaurant. I chose La Grotta.
Today is also the 20th anniversary of me moving to Atlanta from St. Louis. I started work as a technical instructor at an IBM education center teaching mainframes to IBM Customer Engineers on May 16, 1985. Before that I was an IBM large systems Customer Engineer.
Here's the menu and the wines we'll be drinking.
The Moccagatta Barberesco is from my cellar. I'm curious to see if it's ready to drink yet. I think it's probably still too young. I still have nine bottles left. I just love Italian Piedmont reds!
Here's an interesting story sent to me by my buddy Pres:
I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company starting to erect a pole in front of my house. They were going to position it directly in front of my picture window.
No way, absolutely no way was I going to permit this. I gulped down my last bit of coffee and went directly to the crew supervisor and told him in no uncertain terms that I was not going to permit his crew to put that stupid electrical pole directly in front of my picture window.
He took out a map for pole locations and a right of way document and explained that it is the best location for it. I told him it is not the best location for me and when I came home from work that day I did not want to find that pole in front of my window.
I told him I didn't give a hoot where he put it but not in front of my window. I felt pretty smug as I drove off to work because I felt I got my point across. I know darn well they are afraid to put it there now.
Ahhhh..... the feeling of power............
What do ya think he saw when he got home?
The Supreme Court made a good ruling if you're a wino like me.
Wine lovers may buy directly from out-of-state vineyards, the Supreme Court ruled Monday, striking down laws banning a practice that has flourished because of the Internet and growing popularity of winery tours.
He is German, after all.
From Charlieb.
Today's pun was sent to me by Tom and another person.
We have a new pope, but I know there is one particularly qualified and distinguished man who was not selected.
Bishop Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in Minneapolis. As a young man, he aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the army during WWII. He spent two years flying aboard B17s as a co-pilot until, in 1943, his aircraft was shot down and he lost his left arm.
Hans spent the remainder of the war as a chaplain giving spiritual advice and last rites to dying soldiers, allied and enemy. He was renowned for his ecumenical tenderness and compassion.
After the war, Grapje became a priest and served as a missionary throughout Africa. In spite of his handicap, he was noted for piloting his own bush plane into the deepest, most primitive villages to spread the church's message and charity to the impoverished.
In 1997, then Archbishop Grapje was serving at an outpost in Zimbabwe, when an explosion in one of the country's vast silver mines caused a catastrophic cave-in. The archbishop, in spite of his seniority, went down into several of the shafts to administer last rites to those who would never escape. He was in one of these shafts when it partially caved in, trapping him and several rescuers.
Although he was rescued three days later, he suffered several painful
injuries, including one that cost him his right eye. Additionally, the silver content in the shaft's air supply had poisoned him, causing his skin to take an indigo hue - a condition known as purpura - that persists to this day.
Although the Cardinal has devoted, and indeed risked, his life in the
service of God for nearly 70 years, as a scholar, a mentor, and the epitome of a holy man, church politics precluded his ascension to the Papacy.
Why, you may ask?
Church leaders have made it clear they just don't want a one-eyed, one armed, flying, purple, Papal leader.
I haven't written anything about the filibuster controversy. It is kinda amusing really listening to the Dimocrats lament about "out of the mainstream" judges. Fummy, the judges that I consider out of the mainstream are all liberal, like the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco. Or judges that say that gummint must supply social services to illegal immigrants. That's out of the mainstream. They are illegal immigrants. The only social service they should receive is a oneway ticket back to where they came from.
Now Robert Kleagle Byrd has been spouting a whole bunch of nonsense about the Constitution. There is nothing in the Constitution about filibusters. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Diddly dip point shit. It is a Senate rule, and by the way, it has been changed twice in the not too distant past.
It used to require 2/3 of the Senate to end debate. It was changed to 3/5, 60 votes. The second change was a sop to "bi-partisanship" and "getting things accomplished". Now, they can filibuster in the AM, stop it, and get things accomplished in the PM. This is a limited filibuster.
The latter rule change is the one I would like to eliminate. I like to see gridlock in the Senate. Hell, I like to see gridlock in the gummint. I loved it when the gummint shut down during the Clinton years. Then, just like during bad weather, they send all "nonessential workers" home. If they're nonessential workers why do they even have jobs?
I want to see the old time filibuster. The Dims are dredging up Jimmy Stewart in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Fime. Let's see Chuck "the schmuck" Shumer go 24 hours nonstop. Or Harry Reid. Or Hillary Clinton. Let's bring the Senate to a standstill. That's what I want to see. Won't that make good campaign footage during the 2006 elections? Being an obstructionist cost little Tommy Daschle his seat.
And now they're threatening to filibuster Bolton. Go ahead. Let Babs Boxer speak for an extended period of time. Let the rest of the country see what a total dim bulb she is. All I need to know about the Bolton nomination is that Babs Boxer is opposed to it. That makes me for it.
I got a kick out of George Voinovich saying that Bolton's alleged arrogance and abuse of underlings would make him incapable of holding a job in a major corporation. This from someone who has never held a job in a major corporation. I got news for you George. There are lots of abusive managers in major corporations. I worked for a few of them at IBM.
Bolton is just what we need at the United Nations, someone who will kick ass and take names. We provide almost 1/4 of the money for the UN. What do we get for our money? Abuse. Let's give 'em some of it back.
So Babs, you want to filibuster Bolton? Bring it on. Dims, you want to filibuster judges? Bring it on.
Senator Frist if you want to change the rules, change the one that keeps filibustering from bringing Senate business to a halt. Gimme that old time filibuster. If it was good enough for Southern Dimocrats trying to deny voting rights to minorities, it should be good enough for current Dimocrats trying to deny judges who actually believe in the Constitution.
Sent to me by Pres.
Maude and Claude, both 91, lived in a retirement community. They met in the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other's company.
After several weeks of meeting for coffee, Claude asked Maude out for dinner and, much to his delight, she accepted. They had a lovely evening.
They dined at the most romantic restaurant in town. Despite
his age, Claude was still a charmer.
Afterward, Claude asked Maude to join him at his place for an after-dinner drink. Things continued along a natural course and age being no inhibitor, Maude soon joined Claude for a most enjoyable roll in the hay.
As they were basking in the glow of the magic moments they'd shared, each was lost for a time in their own thoughts.
Claude was thinking: "If I'd known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler"
Maude was thinking: "If I'd known he could still do it, I'd have taken off my pantyhose."
You've heard of the Love Boat? Jack sent me the Jug Boat.
Click on picture for a larger version.
I've been on my new PC for a week now. I've got all the security programs up. I've almost got all the data off my old PC. And thanks to a suggestion by Ralph Gizzip, I downloaded OpenOffice from here. Yet more stuff I don't have to buy from Microsoft. So far Mozilla is working great! My sister said they had problems when they ran it on their PC but I am having no problems. None!
It will soon be time to move the old PC into my music room and upgrade the OS. My library is a mess with two PC's and CD-ROM's all over the floor.
F451 pointed out to me in the comments on my Heinlein post that the short story title that I refered to was By His Bootstraps, not Up By His Bootstraps. I stand corrected. I read the story over forty years ago. He then stated that the story where the three main characters were all the same was All You Zombies. That was one story I haven't read. I wonder how I missed it.
I don't know if By His Bootsraps was his best time travel story. I liked Door Into Summer a lot. By His Bootstraps was a very good time travel story and I stand by my assertion that most of the characters in the story were the same person. I just reread it today. It is here.
I just love the internet! I'm so glad Algore invented it and I'm happy that he received a medal for it.
It seems the pastor at a North Carolina Baptist church resigned, according to this story in Wednesday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
A Baptist preacher accused of ousting nine congregants who refused to support President Bush resigned Tuesday.
And as we all know, that's a no no. We mustn't do any politicking in church.
Congregants of the 100-member church in western North Carolina have said Chandler endorsed Bush from the pulpit during last year's presidential campaign and said anyone who planned to vote for Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry needed to "repent or resign."
Yep! Time for him to go. But, I wonder, how does this differ from the two Rev's Jackson and Sharpton thundering from pulpits of black churches supporting Dimocrat candidates? I guess they can't resign since neither of them have jobs to resign from, but why is it bad for a preacher to support Republicans while it is perfectly OK, at least to the Lamestream Media, for preachers to support Dimocrats in Sunday sermons. Besides the Rev's Jackson and Sharpton, in the last two elections we had both the Poodle and Algore (and Al did some mighty revival type preaching) holding forth from the pulpits of black churches on Sunday.
Chandler made no mention of Bush or Kerry, saying only that the dispute was rooted in his strong feelings about abortion.
Bush was agin it, Flipper was for it.
Chandler's resignation came a day after a national group that lobbies for church-state separation urged the Internal Revenue Service to investigate the tax-exempt status of the East Waynesville Baptist Church.IRS rules bar clear-cut politicking by tax-exempt groups.
So I guess that means that Rainbow/Push and the NAACP should be investigated since both of those organizations politic heavily for the Dimocrat Party. Yeah, that'll be the day. Can't you just hear the cries of racism by the Dimocrats if that ever happens?
It's perfectly OK if left-wing churches and left-wing tax-exempt organizations engage in blatant politicking.
Double standard? Nah!
From Addison.
Update: I found out that Pumpman called the cops on this cat.
Didja see Alias? Didja believe they ripped off Star Trek Generations? Ol' Arvin sure looked goofy. I guess they're gonna tie the two story lines together next week.
GMAFB! Atlanta is gonna spend $15 million to brand itself. Think I'm kidding? Read this
Las Vegas: Gambling. Orlando: Disney. New Orleans: Bourbon Street.Atlanta: Hmmm . . .
City leaders are trying to define Atlanta for tourists, conventioneers, businesses and even locals.
Is it Scarlett O'Hara or Martin Luther King? Trees or traffic? Hip-hop or NASCAR? Major sports, big business or high art?
Howza 'bout "When we say nudie bar, we mean nudie bar. Our strippers bare everything." You're welcome. E-mail me and I'll tell you where to send the check.
Atlanta is losing millions of dollars, boosters say, because it's hard to pinpoint the city's image.
Bill Campbell, probably the most corrupt mayor in Atlanta history, said that people were gonna come to the 1996 Olympic Games for an "African-American experience". Maybe they oughtta try that. Campbell could use the money to pay his legal bills.
B.A. Albert, whose Atlanta ad agency, Match, was responsible for the state's "Georgia On My Mind" campaign, said it's about time city leaders worked together to shape a brand.Atlanta leaders are notorious for operating their agencies like fiefdoms, but Albert is encouraged by Franklin's push to bring diverse groups together to create a singular identity for the city.
"Somebody's got to put the hammer down and be the big fist to make it happen," Albert said. "That is huge."
Howza 'bout, "You think LA traffic sucks? When you think traffic jams, think Atlanta."
Atlanta has most famously been the "city too busy to hate" and most infamously "the sports capital," a moniker laughed at by New Yorkers. The city also used "Atlanta: Come Celebrate Our Dream" to negligible effect during the 1996 Summer Olympics.
I guess the dream was the "African-American experience" Bill Campbell raved about.
Albert estimated the city will need to put at least $15 million behind the branding effort, which Brand Atlanta hopes to launch by year's end.
Ya know what this bullshit reminds me of? Back in the waning days of the John Akers' regime at IBM, he decided that he was gonna split IBM up into little companies. This was the current MBA fad: small companies able to react quickly to changing market conditions. Scott Adams called this tactic, Battling Business Units. The Education Division, where I worked, spent some gawdawful amount of money to pay some consulting firm to come up with a name for our little company. The winning entry was Skill Dynamics. Almost everyone (including our customers), except Ralph Clark who was the head honcho, thought this name was stupid. We even made jokes about it and thought that our insignia should be a Skill saw. Speaking of insignias, Skill Dynamics paid a consulting firm some gawfawful amount of money to come up with one. It was some printing symbol that no one had ever heard of.
He would like to see Atlanta spend even more and stage a national campaign like Las Vegas' wildly successfully "What Happens in Las Vegas, Stays in Las Vegas."
Howza 'bout "Escapees from the Fulton County jail don't stay in Atlanta. They take MARTA to Lennox Mall, steal a truck, and hightail it to Gwinnett County."
So far, only the Convention & Visitors Bureau has offered up money for the effort --- $150,000. Brand Atlanta is looking for more cash, said Jackson Kelly, executive director. Just how much a branding campaign will cost is "being determined," said Kelly, who is vice president of global marketing at Coca-Cola.
Hell yes. I'd be looking for more cash too. Tell you what. I'll come up with a catchy slogan and I'll only charge $1 million. What's more, I'll even publicize it on my blog. I get over 1200 hits a day. Howza 'bout, "Atlanta, home of raving moonbat Cynthia McKinney."
I'm sure my buddies Pumpman and Kim du Toit can be brought on board for reasonable compensation. They both get lots more readers than I do. Rob is talking about selling ad space and Kim already does.
Here are how some other cities are branded:
Dallas
"Live Large, Think Big"
Los Angeles
"City of the Angels"
Miami
"Gateway to the Americas"
Nashville
"Country Music Capital of the World"
New Orleans
"The Big Easy"
Philadelphia
"City of Brotherly Love"
All right all my Atlanta readers, here's the challenge. Come up with your ideas and either put them in the comments or e-mail them to me. I will post them in the future.
I sure am glad that I retired from IBM. They announced another round of layoffs last week. It was always so depressing when that happened. All of a sudden, someone I had known for years would get the axe. I hated it.
This time, I heard that they are concentrating on eliminating jobs in Europr. About time. The people in Europe responsible for host support for IBM Education in Europe employed 16 people. We supported the same amount of classes with six people, of which two were contractors. They replaced me with a contractor so now it's three full time people and three contractors. We also got part time work from a co-op.
For the last ten years there have been an excess of personnel in Europe. IBM moved support for many programs to Europe and laid off people here in the United States. It's easier to lay off people here than it is is Europe.
I wonder how they're gonna get away with layoffs? The four countries hit are France, Germany, Italy, and Sweden and from what I hear it is hard to lay people off in those countries. Maybe they'll just shut down sites, which will eliminate jobs.
I'm glad Europe is finally gonna feel the pain. I also hope all my friends survive. Time to e-mail 'em all and see.
One of the reasons I like Potato Face so much is that she reminds me of myself. She's the best analyst that CTU has and she knows it. As such, she is somewhat of a prima donna. I, myself, was a prima donna, so I can relate. I know how hard that is to believe, but it's the truth. So, when Buchanan said, "Potato Face, we are in an active code. We don't have time for your personality disorder.", I was waiting for her to reply, "Fuck off, dickhead. I just wasted a terrorist with an asssault rifle. Do you wanna piece of me, asshole?" Nope. She just gave a Potato Face frown and went back to work.
Bitchelle and Soul Patch were getting ready to get it on. As usual, he was staring at her tits. Then they were interrupted. Lookattitus interruptus.
Another thing I was waiting for was Lispy Skip asking Skinny Skank how she felt about Gray Adder going Tango Uniform. "Hey bitch, you wouldn't divert resources to rescue my mother. How does it feel to lose your husband? Shoe's on the other foot now isn't it? Tough shit!"
They finally caught the Mummy!
Two more hours to save the country. Will Bitchelle and Soul Patch find time to get it on? Will Skinny Skank forgive Jack? Will Potato Face tell Buchanan to fuck off? Will Jack torture the Mummy? What about the Chinese? Will Palmer bitchslap the President? And I see from the previews of next week's show that the SecDef's son is gonna reappear. BTW, whatever happened to Terror Teen?
A while back I wrote about reading an anthology of 20th Century science fiction. I was amazed that there was not anything by Isaac Asimov, Arthur Clarke, or Robert Heinlein. Any anthology that did not have works by these three men was seriously deficient.
Someone commented that the reason there was nothing by these three men was because they all sucked. First off, that is bullshit, and even if it were true, that they sucked, you cannot leave them out because they had a massive influence on science fiction.
Let's try an analogy here. Let's look at pop music during the last 50 years of the 20th Century. I never could stand Michael Jackson. I thought the Jackson 5 sucked and I thought Michael Jackson as a solo act sucked. But, if someone was gonna put together people who were important during the last 50 years of pop music, he would have to include Michael Jackson. He'd also have to include Madonna, someone else I think sucks (both literally and figuratively).
Say what you will about Arthur C. Clarke, but just 2001 should qualify him to be a giant of the 20th Century of science fiction. He took a short story he had written, and with Stanley Kubrick, expanded it into a full length novel and screen play to become what is probably the best science fiction movie ever made. Later, he theorized a space elevator, something that is now being taken seriously.
Isaac Asimov showed that sequels didn't have to suck. The Naked Sun, the sequel to The Caves of Steel was every bit as good as its predecessor. The Foundation Trilogy was a classic. He wrote short stories and was also a master of shaggy dog stories.
Now we come to Heinlein, who is my personal favorite. I discovered him at a young age and was hooked. I think I have read everything he has written. One of his best short stories was Up by His Bootstraps. It was about time travel and every character in the story was the same person.
Heinlein was a libertarian. Many of his books supported his philosophy of gummint.
In Starship Troopers, to be a citizen and to be allowed to vote, one had to have served in the military. I think that is an excellent idea. No Bill and Hillary Clinton. Even the liberals would be happy. No Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld. Of course, under these rules there would probably be very few liberals in gummint. No Cynthia McKinney. No Maxine Waters. No Ted Kennedy. Sorry libs. Bush served.
One of my very favorite Heinlein novels is The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress. Of course there is a strong, intelligent, beautiful, oversexed heroine, Wyoming Knott. Heinlein loved women and you could tell. There was also a crusty old curmudgeon, Professor de la Paz. Crusty old farts also became a Heinlein staple, probably because he was a crusty old fart himself. Remember Jubal Harshaw from Stranger in a Strange Land?
I first encountered TANSTAAFL (there ain't no such thing as a free lunch) when reading The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress. Heinlein was no fan of big gummint.
Near the end of the novel, the Professor was expounding on his ideas of gummint and just throwing shit against the wall.
But in writing your constitution let me invite attention to the wonderful virtues of the negative! Accentuate the negative! Let your document be studded with things that governement is forever forbidden to do. No conscript armies . . . no interference no matter how slight with freedom of press, or speech, or travel, or of instruction, or commmunication, or occupation . . . no involuntary taxation. Comrades, if you were to spend five years in a study of history while thinking of more and more things that your government should promise never to do and then let your constitution be nothing but those negatives, I would not fear the outcome.What I fear most are affirmative actions of sober and well-intentioned men, granting to government powers to do something that appears to need doing.
The Professor also made these suggestions:
-the more impediments to legislation, the better. But, instead of following tradition, I suggest one house of legislators, another whose single duty is to repeal laws. Let the legislators pass laws only with a two-thirds majority . . . while the repealers are able to cancel any law through a mere one-third mnority. Preposterous? Think about it. If a bill is so poor that it cannot command two-thirds of your consents, is it not likely that it would make a poor law? And if a law is disliked by as many as one-third is it not likely that you would be better off without it?
How would the Professor finance gummint?
Goodness me, sir, that's your problem. I can think of several ways. Voluntary contributions just as churches support themselves . . . government sponsored lotteries to which no one need subscribe . . . or perhaps you Congressmen should dig down into your own pouches and pay for whatever is needed; that would be one way to keep government down in size to its indispensable functions whatever they may be. . . . But if you really believe that your neighbors must have laws for their own good, why shouldn't you pay for it. Comrades, I beg you--do not resort to compulsory taxation. There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.
Wow! Some good shit there. I've said for many years that if rich liberals like Barbra Streisand and Ted Kennedy are so concerned about the poor why don't they have them out to their compounds for massive dinnners? Howza 'bout John and Teresa letting some poor folks stay at one of their five homes when they aren't there? Show us how much you really care for the poor. Use your money, not mine.
Anyway, Heinlein was not only a great science fiction writer, he was also a great libertarian.
Feel free to discuss in the comments.
Today's Monday Pun is from z.
A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands.
As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again.
He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying:
'Many hands make light work.’"
My Annual Mother's Day Post. My mother was an incredible woman!
Jack sent me this Texas State Trooper joke. I heard it as a Missouri joke, but the person who told it to me was from there. Change it to your state if you want. It's even better if the two guys pulled over are rednecks.
Two men were driving through Texas when they got pilled over by a State Trooper. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolled down the window and WHACK, the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asked.
"You're in Texas, son," the trooper answered. "When we pull you over in Texas, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back. The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK", the trooper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What you do that for?" the passenger demands.
"Just making your wish come true," replied the trooper.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.
"Because I know your type," the trooper says, "two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!'
And here's a West Virgina State Trooper joke that someone swears is true.
A West Virginia State Trooper pulled over a young lady for speeding. As the trooper walked up to the car with his ticket book in hand the woman said, "I'll bet you're gonna try to sell me a ticket to the West Virginia State Trooper Ball."
The cop replied, "West Virginia State Troopers don't have balls."
He then realized what he said. He started laughing, put his ticket book away, told the woman to have a nice day, and went back to his car.
Catfish sent me this alarming photo of marines in Iraq lacking proper combat gear.
Click on picture for a larget view.
Got my new PC. Installing code. Transferring data. No time to post. Here's a joke.
Speeding...
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding,too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
The bad thing about being a seeing eye dog. From Catfish.
A Mexican joke for the holiday from Catfish.
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (except France) is sending food and money.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
What a relief! The Texas Legislature came through with some important legislation. The good people of Texas will now be protected from obscene cheerleaders.
After an alternately comic and fiery debate - punctuated by several lawmakers waving pompons - the Texas state House on Tuesday approved a bill to restrict "overtly sexually suggestive" cheerleading to more ladylike performances.I can't make stuff like this up. I wish I could.
"Girls can get out and do all of these overtly sexual performances and we applaud them, and that's not right," said Democratic Rep. Al Edwards, who filed the legislation.
Rep. Al, you are a bogger eatin' moh-ron. And why is a Dimocrat, a member of the party of Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy, filing this legislation? Shouldn't it have been one of the "theocrat" Republicans on the Christian right?
Edwards argued that bawdy performances are a distraction for students, resulting in pregnancies, dropouts and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
Holy crap! Who woulda thunk it that erotic cheerleaders could cause all those problems?
Ribald performances are not defined in the bill. "Any adult that's been involved with sex in their lives, they know it when they see it," he said.
Screw that! I wanna see hottie high school chicks gyrating, bumping, and grinding. Yowsa!
The bill passed on a 65-56 vote.
65 farking spoilsports. Vote 'em out of office next election. Assholes!
I know Pumpman will just love this. Sent to me by his buddy Catfish.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
So I went to log on this morning and got the farking "The page cannot be displayed" screen that Internet Explorer throws up when it is fucked up. My PC has been kludgy for the last three weeks with adware and spyware and now Internet Explorer has quit working. IBM would be ashamed to put out crap like Windoze and Internet Explorer but this inferior code has made Bill Gates the richest man in the world. He should be ashamed of himself for running a company that produces crap. IBM should be ashamed for not stomping him into the ground when it had the chance. Some IBM manager should have been drawn and quartered for this fuckup.
History repeats itself. IBM was originally offered the photostatic copying process but some IBM manager turned that down since he didn't think it would replace carbon paper. The inventor found someone else who believed in him and they formed Xerox. (Ironically, Xerox built the first PC using icons and a mouse prototype but didn't see the market for it.) The IBM Mattel Office Products Division entered the copier business, Xerox sued for patent infringement, IBM settled out of court, and eventually sold their copier business to Kodak.
I'm getting a new PC tomorrow, but I decided that I would like to make this one work until then. I searched around and found that I had an old copy of Netscape and fired that up. Then I went out to the Firefox site and downloaded Mozilla.
After the install, the browser didn't work and said it had a problem with the Proxy Server. I oughta be able to fix that. Click on Tools. Click on Options. Click on Connection Settings. Put a check in Direct Connection to the Internet. Click OK. Click OK. Recycle Mozilla and I'm ready to rock 'n' roll. Too bad Internet Explorer isn't that easy to debug. As I said, piece of crap. Not only should good code be reliable, but it should also be easy to debug.
So is my new PC gonna be a Mac? Nope. I realize that the Mac is a superior product, but Apple made the same mistake that Sony made with the Betamax VCR, which was far superior to the VHS format. They didn't license their product to allow other companies to make Betamax VCRs. You cannot win in a niche market. Yeah, Apple is surviving with a 10% market share but that's all they're gonna get.
I don't want to have to move all of may applications to a Mac. Some of the stuff I'm gonna be running, like Guitar Port doesn't even run on a Mac and I am not gonna get a PC just for blogging and surfing.
I should be picking up my new machine tomorrow. 3.8G processor. 512M of RAM. 80G hard drive, partitioned for recovery and upgrades. I found a vendor who knows the proper way to install an OS.
My current PC is a 1.5G with 256M of RAM with two hard drives, 60G and 30G. I'm gonna reformat the primary and install a new OS. I may install Guitar Port on it and the Midisoft software that allows me to play guitar and have the software score the music for me. Once I have that, I can orchestrate it. I don't think that's supported by Apple either.
If my posts are a little bit light over the next week or so it will be because of software installations, upgrades, and data transfers. Since I plan on running Mozilla, I don't anticipate adware or spyware problems.
FOAD Internet Explorer!
I don't think I want to eat at that restaurant.
C'mon. Didn't ya want to see Potato Face go back to CTU and walk up to Lispy Skip and say, "Hey Fatboy, don't fuck with me. I just killed me a terrorist. I don't want any more crap about me not being able to use your computer."
I was watching Soul Patch tonight and he does look at Bitchelle's tits everytime he talks to her.
They finally got sumpin' right medically with Grayadder. With a spinal cord injury you do usually get peritonitis. I did.
Hey Jack. Audrey ain't worth it. She's got a boney ass anyway.
I thought I was watching Mission Impossible when Palmer was giving Jack his instructions. If you're caught, you're screwed. I was expecting the phone to self destruct.
Only three more episodes to catch the Mummy.
Jesus H. Christ! Give it a farking rest! I'm sick of it! Why is the entire country agonizing over an airhead who got cold feet and ran away from her wedding? She's been found. Send her family a bill for all the money wasted searching for the stupid bitch.
Have you seen a picture of this booger eatin' moh-ron? The picture they kept posting in the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation showed her with a deer in the headlights look. That could explain a lot.
And speaking of booger eatin' moh-rons, her boyfriend, who was a suspect in her disappearance still wants to marry her. Dude, you are so fucked up! The girl is a space cadet. Is she that good in the sack that you still want to marry her? You lived with her for five years and you didn't realize that her brain is somewhere out on Neptune? You need help too.
And lets just get one thing straight. She lived in Duluth, not Dunwoody where I live. She's originally from Gainesville.
You know who is probably really pissed off about now? Her fourteen bridesmaids that's who. Yep! She had fourteen bridesmaids. So that's fourteen girls who had to buy ugly dresses (How come the bride always picks such ugly dresses for her attendants?) that they may never wear again. Fourteen dudes had to rent tuxedos.
Put this blithering idiot into a mental institution where she belongs.
One of the guys on 96 Rock came up with the Jennifer Willbanks survival kit. It has electric socks for cold feet, A greyhound bus pass, and a welcome package from Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Her boyfriend was on Hannity today and is gonna be on Hannity and Colmes tonight. Sorry Sean. I'm gonna be watching 24.
You watch. There's probably gonna be a book deal and a movie about this. I'm sure she or her boyfriend will be on Oprah.
Arrrrggghhhh! I'm sick of it. Make them stop! I can't take it anymore!
Today's Monday Pun was sent to me by Airboss the day before he passed away.
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the Swiss league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know ...
For Whom the Tells Bowled.
On Saurday, I got an e-mail from Connie du Toit informing me that Stephen Herod (Airboss) had a fatal heart attack on Friday.
I only met Steve once and that was at Kim du Toit's birthday last year. Steve had been reading my blog and knew that I was planning on buying a handgun so he brought some along to show them to me and make recommendations.
When I returned home, he sent me what he called gun porn which were pictures of various guns. I posted them on my site. Steve also nagged me on a regular basis to quit procrastinating and go out and buy a gun. I finally did. Then the nagging changed to him telling me to go to the range and get proficient with my gun.
Steve also sent me material to use on my blog. Just last week he sent me some Monday puns.
I have met a lot of interesting people since I started blogging and have made many friends. Steve was one of them. I regret that I wasn't able to spend more time with him. He was a hell of a guy and I will miss him.
Connie has a few words to say and so does Jim
And we thought we paid a lot for gas in this country.
