This is just wrong!
Sent to me by Dwd5100.
Fourth Night of Riots in Paris suburb.
I liked the solution stated by one of the politicians at the end of the article.
"We need to act at the same time on prevention, repression, education, housing, jobs ... and not play the cowboy."
I didn't know that France had a Dimocrat Party. It's the old "root cause" excuse.
Pierce? Prosper? Any other French readers? Comments? The view from France? I'm not gloating about this. I honestly want to hear from some French people about what is going on and their opinions.
Update: Wait! It gets better.
Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy
says that violence in French suburbs is a daily fact of life.
Since the start of the year, 9,000 police cars have been stoned and, each night, 20 to 40 cars are torched, Sarkozy said in an interview last week with the newspaper Le Monde.
So France doesn't have a Muslim problem?
Dammit! I forgot (getting old is a bitch!) that Tina sent me a Halloween Pun, so as a bonus, there are two Monday Puns this week.
An old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long
time decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went into her bedroom, stripped naked and
tied a lemon between her legs.
When she came out, the old man cried,"You can't go
out like that!"
She said, "I can go anyway I like and so can you!"
Whereupon he retired to the bedroom and came out
stark raving naked with a potato tied to his tallywhacker.
The old woman says, "You're going out like that?"
and he replies,
(You're gonna hate me for this one.)
"Yep, if you can go as a sour-puss, I can go as a dick-tator.
After begging me profusely for another chance at a Monday Pun, here is BlogDog stepping up to bat again. Actually, I'm only using it because it was the first one I found in my in-box and I was too lazy to look for another one. I've spent gobs of time catching up on my reading, checking my mail, and updating my blogroll. I'm up against a deadline here. Anyway, here it is.
A psychic midget escaped from prison. The local paper printed the following headline:
A Small Medium At Large.
Henry sent me this link to an AP article about my Congresscritter Cynthia McCommie.
Rep. Cynthia McKinney must pay a $33,000 fine and reimburse as much as $72,000 to political donors after accepting excessive contributions in the 2002 election, the Federal Election Commission said Friday.The fine alone exceeds the total amount in the Georgia Democrat's campaign account through Sept. 30. It was part of a conciliation agreement between McKinney and the FEC.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Busted, bitch!
Eric got very brave and decided to invite some bloggers to the Straight White Abode for a little party this weekend.
Some of the Usual Suspects showed up. The Usual Suspects, of course, refers to Jawja Bloggers and Honorary Jawja Bloggers.
Key Monroe was there Friday night with her husband. I hope that after seeing some of us reprobates that he lets her come to future meets.
Jim from Joisey was there. He didn't bring his wife. That's probably why he can still come to these meets. Jim and I played guitar both nights. The longer we play, the better we sound. That's because our audience gets drunker.
Zonker made it sans mullet wig and tatoos. I guess he was afraid of shocking the people who had never been to a Jawja blogmeet.
Kelley, Sam, and Dax couldn't make it. You only get links if you show up.
The one exception here is Veloci-DB who bailed on us. What's the DB stand for? Until I talked to him on Friday night it stood for douchebag, but I can't stay mad at him too long. I guess the DB really stands for Dear Bud. In Eric's directions to his house he told me to look for all the drunks wandering his front yard looking like characters from Night of the Living Dead movies. There were none. That's how I knew V-Man wasn't there. There was no Chatham Artillery Punch.
That takes care of the Usual Suspects. I met some really great new people and I actually remember who some of them are. They are welcome to join us at Helen or Austin next year. They saw the Usual Suspects on their best behavior. That is a rarity. The next step is seeing the Usual Suspects in Party Hardy Mode. Zonker in his wig. V-Man in his pimp hat. My girls Kelley, Key, and Shoe showing how it's done. Yeah. That's the ticket.
New folks. These go over on the Bloggers I Have Met In Person (And Partied With) Blogroll. If you were at Eric's and come across this post and see that I have missed you, let me know. I usually only remember two or three new people at a blogmeet. I did better than average on this one. I guess it's because these were all really neat folks.
Boudicca is a babe! So is her sister Morrigan. When women lie about their ages aren't they supposed to take years off instead of adding years on? Boudicca told me she was 40 years old. I call bullshit! She's not a day over 35. Morrigan told me she was 34. Bullshit! She's 29. Boudicca told me I had a nice singing voice and she wasn't even drinking! Boudicca is married. Morrigan has a boyfriend. Lucky guys!
Red Hot Martha Stewart. I just had to do that. That's what Eric's cousin, Brad, called Army Wife. Martha Stewart should look so good. Just let me say that Army Wife is red hot! She's a good cook too. A real sweet lady and fun to be around.
Jim and I got Tammi to sing. We didn't get her to sing enough. She sings better than we do. Of course, since Jim and I were the oldest coots there, we sang a lot of songs she didn't know and we didn't know some of the songs she asked us to play. Jim is a few days older than I am. Heh. Heh. Heh. When he doesn't show up, I'm usually the oldest butthead there.
I know there were some other blogger wimmins there, but I didn't get their site names.
The Donovans were there. I've been on their blogroll for quite some time. Now they're on mine. Holy crap! Kim du Toit would have an orgasm looking at John's collection of firepower. So would my nephew. Too bad they arrived too late for the expedition to the firing range. Beth has her own blog.
Got to meet Blackfive and hear both sides of the Oh shit! Blackfive and Eric were hammered and have two flat tires on the South Side of Chicago two blocks from the Cook County Jail story.
Was this the redneck that was there?
Bad Example. I didn't spend too much time with him. I hear he's birthed a bunch of bloggers.
Did y'all notice that I seemed to recollect the wimmins better than I did the men. It is true. I am a dirty old man.
What totally amazed me was nothing, outside of a plate of brownies, was spilled on the white carpet. Eric's wife Fiona was a saint to allow Eric to have a blogmeet at their house. Now go to all the sites I've linked and meet some of these talented people.
Dear Cindy. I only fell twice: Once in Eric's backyard and the other time in his garage. What was amazing was they had four guys spotting me as I walked down the Steps of Doom out his front door, and I got down them with no help. This was at the end of each evening.
Now I gotta update the blogroll and select the Monday Pun.
Update: See Itold you I missed a few people. I missed That 1 Guy, he of the bloody nose and Princess Cat. Get ye over to the blogroll!
I'm heading out in a few minutes to go up to Eric's for a weekend of partying with some of the usual suspects and some new folks, so I'm posting Saturday Boobage on Friday. I'll be back on Sunday. Don't get too rowdy, but, of course, y'all have permission to bitchslap any trolls that happen by.
Hey! Cut that out! No drooling on your monitors.
Great Blonde Joke from Catfish.
A few days ago I was having some work done at the local Ford Dealership. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there.
He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there.
And I'll bet she gets ID 10 T errors on her computer.
I had an ex-friend get fired from Macy's the other day. That brings to mind a joke by Dennis Miller about Izzy Stradlin getting kicked out of Guns and Roses. Saith Dennis: Exactly what the fuck would you have to do to get kicked out of Guns and Roses? Saith GOC: How badly would you have to fuck up to lose an $8 per hour job at Macy's?
But GOC, I hear you ask, you're a real butthead. Haven't you ever lost a job for insubordination or just being a dickhead? No. I haven't.
I have discovered that the amount of shit you're willing to eat is directly proportional to how much money you're making and how much you need the job. The amount of shit you're willing to eat is inversely proportional to how much power you have, how financially secure you are, and how much the company needs you.
When I was in the Navy I was not a very good military sailor. I've had problems with authority all my life. During electronics school and on my first ship I was OK. Never got into any trouble and I was never insubordinate. On my second ship, the USS Iredell County, LST-839, I was OK (mostly) until the other Electronics Technician got out of the Navy and was replaced by an ET who couldn't fix anything. I could fix everything on the ship.
So now I had power. Most of the officers, including the Captain, liked me. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was good at my job and had also learned how to be a Radioman when the Radiomen were shorthanded. I started standing radio watches. It was more fun than standing radar watches which I used to do. So, here was I, a person who could do three different jobs: ET, Radarman, and Radioman. Plus I was the only ET who could fix anything. As a result, I was given some leeway in little things.
I hated wearing a hat. We were supposed to wear a hat outdoors. When I was on the ship I seldom did. I got away with it. Little thing, but nice. I also had an E5 Radioman put me on report for insubordination. He was an asshole, the XO knew it, and he talked the E5 out of putting me on report and had him tear up the report chit. I had some runins with an E6 Signalman. He always lost. He was an idiot and the Ops Boss knew it. I got this guy chewed out on three separate occasions.
What I'm saying is the officers made some compromises to keep me happy. I made some compromises (learning how to do multiple jobs and do them well) to make them happy. I always got good performance reviews. The downside of this is I did not get a college cut (get out early to go to college) because I was "too valuable". They did not let me go until I was replaced by two ET's.
What about IBM? How did I last 31.5 years there?
Same philosophy. When I started off as a Customer Engineer, I only worked on typewriters (The TANG memos were fake. Take it from someone who worked on the typewriters of that era.)and dictation equipment. Within two years, I was trained on everything but copiers. My manager wanted to train me on them also, but I talked him out of it. At that time a new copier had just come out and it was a piece of crap! Plus, I really didn't want to be the only one in the office trained on everything. I was not the best technician in the office but I was thorough.
A young Office Products CE (and many old ones) had a tendency to fix machines quickly. On some problems, you could do a fast fix and be done in five minutes and on to your next call. Unfortunately, you would have to go back a month later and fix it again. There was one particular problem that drove me up the wall. I would go into an office, pull the history card out of the typewriter and see 10 calls where the CE had done the same five minute fast fix. To fix it right took another ten minutes. I would fix it right. Therefore, even though I was not the best technician, if I fixed it right the first time, I would cut calls in my territoy.
The bad thing about working in the Mattel Office Products Division is that half the CE's and almost all the managers were incompetent. It was a Mickey Mouse organization run by a bunch of Goofys. I didn't develop an "attitude problem" until my last year in the organization. I was tired of having to go into other territories and fix things right. Since my territory was a low call territory (Fix it right the first time), I had to shag a lot of calls in high call territories. My reward for doing good at my job was more work. That's always the way. The work gets done by the people willing to do it. The better you are, the more work you get.
How did I get branded an "attitude problem"? I made the mistake of giving the manager who ran the service organization a true answer as to why morale was so low. Bad move. Managers do not want to hear the truth. They have a tendency to shoot the messenger. Tell them what they want to hear. I didn't make that mistake again until my career was almost finished.
Once you're an "attitude problem" your career is dead unless you can get a new start somewhere else. They couldn't fire me because I was too good at what I did and I was not insubordinate. What they did do was move me to the worst territory in the office. The call volume was over 70 calls a week. For the previous two years they had incompetent CE's in it. It was behind on PM's(Preventive Maintainence inspections. Most of the territories, with the exception of the territory they moved me from and a few others, were). Within three months I had the call count down to 50 a week and had it almost current on PMs. It's hard to fire someone who performs like that. Once again, I was only an average technician. I just took the time to fix it right the first time. It's amazing how pleased customers are when you do that. They have this tendency to call or write your manager telling them what a great person you are.
I was lucky enough to have a friend in the Field Engineering Division. He pulled some strings and got me out of the Mattel Office Products Division and into the Field Engineering Division. My previous management told the branch manager that I was gonna work for that I was an "attitude problem". He responded that he knew how to handle people with an "attitude problem". Y'know how he did it? Would you believe treating me like a professional and acting like a professional? Plus they paid me a hell of a lot more money. Went from $12K a year to $20K a year in my first year (1978). In my 8.5 years in the Field Engineering Division I never once had an "attitude problem". I hardly had to eat any shit. They paid me well and managed me professionally. No compromises were required. I take that back. I did work 5.5 years on 3rd shift. I did some sleeping and my manager knew it. He also knew that everyone else hated 3rd shift. As I only worked at one account and I only slept when nothing was down, to keep everyone else happy, I was allowed to catnap. He pretended he didn't know. Compromise.
In 1985 I went to work as a large system hardware instructor here in Atlanta. Once again, with minimal exceptions, I did well. I was willing to teach any piece of hardware they wanted me to. The more versatile you are, the more you can get away with. This became clear, when I taught myself MVS.
When I became a programmer, I was still teaching. I helped develop and teach one class, then I wrote and taught another, then helped develop and teach two more classes. There were two years that I was delivering the teach days of a full time instructor and doing the work (with no backup) of a full time systems programmer. Because of this, I got away with dishing out some crap. I became somewhat of a prima donna and management compromised and let me get away with crap because of my superior performance. This was when I started to become a Grouchy Old Cripple.
I realize that no one is expendable, but at this time, I was the only person who could teach two classes that brought in a lot of revenue. Smart managers know how to make compromises and deal with someone like me. The only people I was pissing off were a few instructors that I supported and one manager. I got away with it. The important people, our customers, the students, loved me.
My last six years at IBM, I had to work for the CDSM©. This guy was a consummate bureaucrat (and a major league asshole). The solution to every problem was a meeting. In my first year working for this butthead, I went to more meetings than my previous 25 years at IBM.
In spite of the meetings, this was the best job I had at IBM, since I got out of doing full time teaching while also doing full time programming. Two full time jobs, that I was paid very well to do (I worked for a manager who took care of me. I worked my butt off, he paid me for it. He gave me an award every year and fantastic pay raises.) had gotten too much for me and I was having health problems. I had to slow down.
For my first three years in this job, I compromised. I ate a lot of shit because I was close to retirement and I didn't want to be downsized out of a job.
After I hit 55, I was bulletproof. So now, I was not willing to eat as much shit. I was making good money and I was guaranteed full retirement. I was financially secure. I was able to tell management the truth, not what they wanted to hear. I became an "attitude problem" again. Now, my CDSM© had to make some compromises. He didn't want to downsize me, because I was a valuable member of his organization (which allowed me to be a butthead) but he could drop my performance rating (which he did) and not give me any more raises. Did I mention that I was financially secure?
My last two years I was working 6 hour days. Because of what I knew, the guy who eventually replaced me wasn't able to do the same amount of work as I did in 6 hours. As I told my team lead and the CDSM©, I was really just sticking around for comic relief.
When I announced last year that I was gonna retire in December, they offered me a plan to retire at the end of October (almost one year ago)and they would give me three months pay. Where do I sign?
I did get one parting shot. They were not planning on replacing me. When the instructors I supported found out, they told their managers and their managers raised such a stink that they had to hire a contractor to take my place. Heh! Heh! Heh!
So ya see, sometimes I had to compromise, when I needed the money, or wanted more money and sometimes management had to compromise, by allowing me to be a prima donna and an asshole, but they got superior performance from me as a result.
That's what life and work is all about: Compromise. What are you willing to do to keep a job and make money? What is management willing to do to get above average performance and a lot of bang for their bucks?
Because of compromises I wound up working 31.5 years at IBM and became a SRF©. Life is good.
This lady is a friend of mine and let me tell you that she is a nicer person than I am. She could have had the asshole's job for what he said.
This reminds me of what one of my managers at IBM did. One of the instructors I worked with got pregnant. She didn't have a husband and no, she was not black. She had been dating another instructor about this time. At the going away party for another instructor who had just been promoted, my manager asked the guy this instructor had been dating if he was the father of her child. That was not a very bright thing to do.
The female instructor found out about it and was in his office the very next day. She ran him over the coals, or as she told me, "Dennis (she always called me Dennis), I held his balls in my hand."
I asked her why she diddn't squeeze them off? She told me that he was so frightened that his face turned white. He was black. Had she wanted to, she could have had his job.
A year later, at the going away party of the instructor whom my manager had asked about his being the father, my manager asked him once again if he were the father. Not only was my manager an asshole, he was an idiot.
I was gonna write a post today on compromise and how it relates to life and career options but this editorial cartoon by Mike Lucovich the editorial cartoonist of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation just made me sick to my stomach. The WHY is made up of the names of the 2000 American soldiers who died in Iraq.
I guess after drawing this cartoon Mike opened a bottle of Champagne and he, Cynthia Tucker, Jay Bookman and all the other anti-American assholes at the AJC celebrated the death of that 2000th soldier. I could actually explain why, but they are so lost in their leftwing fantasy world, that they wouldn't understand the explanation.
I often wonder how these commies live with themselves. Remember, these are the people who wanted us to lose the Cold War. They are now the people who want us to lose WWIV. The supreme irony is that if Islam is triumpant, Luckovich, Tucker, and Bookman would be some of the first people who would have their throats slit.
For those of you who have asked if I have any plans for my birthday, the answer is yes. I scheduled the October Sommelier Guild of Atlanta's October tasting for tonight. The food is just gonna be a buffet as we are concentrating on the wines. All the wines will be ten years old. 1995 was a fantastic year. Here are the wines we will be drinking.
Dudes! I didn't do it! You want Hamburglar, not me!
I wrote this post last year on my birthday. I'm reposting it this year on my birthday.
October 25 is my birthday. It is also St. Crispin's Day which is a very important date in English history.
You've heard John Fonda Kerry drone on about his "band of brothers". Do you know where that phrase came from? No, it wasn't an HBO special. It came from Shakespeare's Henry V. It was the speech that King Henry gave before the battle of Agincourt, on St. Crispin's Day, October 25, 1415, where an outnumbered English army (It was 30,000 French against 10,000 Englishmen) kicked the crap out of the French. They were French after all. Some things never change. Anyway in the spirit of my Hamlet and Marc Antony updates here is the St. Crispin's Day speech.
WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day!
Holy shit! We are outnumbered! If we only had some of those bloody bastards who are sitting on their asses back in England!
KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland?
Why do you want that cuz?
No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss;
Nope, cousin dude. If we're destined to get our butts kicked there are enough of us.
and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
But if we're gonna win, think of what an upset it would be. They would talk about us for years. It would be like the Jets beating Baltimore in Super Bowl III.
God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
I don't want any more men. We're fighting the French after all.
By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,
Holy crap! I'm not doing this for money.
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
And I don't care if the dudes with me are doing it for money.
It yearns me not if men my garments wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
I don't even care if my men wear my uniforms.
But if it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most offending soul alive.
But if it's a sin to want honor and glory than I am the biggest sinner on the planet.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.
Nope! I don't want any more men.
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour As one man more methinks would share from me For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Nope. If I had just one more man he would take honor away from me. I am the quarterback. Just like Namath I want to shine.
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host,
Tell the rest of the army,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart;
that if there is anyone who is a pussy, get the fuck out of here.
his passport shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
Give him three purple hearts. It will be his ticket home.
We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us.
We would not die in the company of a phony bastard such as he that would use scratches to get purple hearts and cut short his tour of duty by 8 months. Get the fuck out of my sight! You are not worthy to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
When St. Crispin's Day comes around every one who returns home will look at this day proudly.
And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
The night before St. Crispin's day he'll roll up his sleeves and show the scars and tell him he got them on St. Crispin's Day at Agincourt.
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What feats he did that day.
He may forget other stuff in old age, but not the Battle of Agincourt!
Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
All of our names will be remembered.
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
While knocking down some brewskis,
This story shall the good man teach his son;
The old veteran will teach his son.
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world,
And on this day from now until the end of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered- We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
our small but happy force, this band of brothers
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
Anyone who fights with me will be my brother. He won't return to England and stab us all in the back by falsely accusing us of war crimes. (OK. I added that last part to make this more relevant to today.)
This day shall gentle his condition;
This day will make him a better person.
Make him a member of the gentry, even if he is a commoner.
If he's lower class this will make him upper class. (And he won't even have to marry for it.)
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
And all those pussies back home in bed,
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
will know that they were wusses because they didn't have the balls to be with us.
Now lets go kill us some Frogs!
Before the Battle of Agincourt,
25 October 1415
Shakespeare
And GOC.
This one is from Ric.
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders a whisky. When the
bartender delivers the drink, the cowboy asks, "Where is
everybody?"
The bartender replies, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," says the bartender. "He wears a brown paper hat,
brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown
paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him
for?
"Rustlin' " said the bartender.
Some people have asked me where I get the wines I drink. I get them here. Michael is their wine buyer.
Michael and Cindy had me over for my birthday dinner Saturday night. It wasn't my birthday. That is on Tuesday when I will be 59 years old. One year away from the big 60. As usual it was a pleasant evening. Everything was Italian.
We had an olive paste spread on toasted bread. With that we had a nice Italian white wine from Naples.
Then we had a nice tossed salad and drank a nice red from Abruzzo.
The main dish was breaded veal with mozzarella cheeze baked in a red sauce. We also had pasta with a red sauce. We finished off the red wine we had with the salad.
With the cheese course we had a nice Barbaresco that I furnished.
Cindy gave me five books from my Amazon wish list.
I made it home safe and sound and drank some cognac before retiring for the night.
Slept very late today.
Update: The books I received from Cindy were as follows:
How to Talk to a Liberal - Ann Coulter
State of Fear - Michael Crichton
Rome and the Barbarians - Thomas Burns (I know the author. He teaches at Emory University in Atlanta and he is usually at Michael's 10 Years On party every year.
Calley's War - John Ringo and Julie Cochrane
Executive Power - Vince Flynn
And speaking of Ann Coulter, one of my readers sent me this:
I know some women who could use this. One of them has her own blog and is the person who called me a SFA and a SRF©. She also accused me of posting fake tits on Saturday Boobage. I still check out her blog every now and then, and no, I'm not telling who she is. I see that she is about to lose another job. Poor girl has some serious issues. I think she needs professional help.
Boudreaux, the Cajun fireman came home from his work one day and said to
his wife, "Y know sumpin, we have a wonderful new system at de fire
station. Bell 1 rings -- we put on our jackets, Bell 2 rings -- we
slide down de pole, Bell 3 rings -- we jump on de ingine and we's ready
to go.
From now on, when I says "Bell 1" I want you to strip naked. When I
says "Bell 2" you jump on de bed. When I says "Bell tree" we's gonna
mek love all tru de night.
The next night he came home and shouted, "Bell 1" and she stripped
naked.
"Bell 2" and she jumped on the bed. "Bell 3" and they started to make
love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled out "Bell 4"
What de hell is "Bell 4" ? He asked
She replied: "Roll out more hose, you ain't nowhere near de fire.
I watched Stalag 17 on television the other night. I'm sure getting old. I'm old enough to remember when Hollywood was on our side and most of the movie stars were also. If the current Hollywood buttheads were around in WWII, they would have been on Hitler's side. The Lamestream Media would have been also. Assholes!
Catfish sent me the latest pictures for National Breast Appreciation Week. I figger they'll do for Saturday Boobage for the next few weeks.
Matt sent me a link to the site he used when he made the Louisiana License plate for me. Here's the tag I would like to have on one of my cars to reflect my feelings for Cynthia McCommie.
Sent to me by many readers, here is the Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit.
Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit:
Mustard.............................................check
Cheetos..............................................check
Toilet Paper........................................check
Bud Light...........................................check
Keystone Ice........................................check
Budweiser..........................................check
Red Dog.............................................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
Sheet of plywood or door on which to float your
booze (and chick)...................................check
( To insure that all segments of society receive Fair and Equal Opportunity Disaster-Preparedness Training, this checklist also appears in an easy-to-follow photographic format for the benefit of the less-than-literate):
Beau Boudreaux put the following in the comments on my Louisiana License Plate post and I figger it is only fitting that I move it to the front to share it with y'all. I mean, who am I to be throwing stones? I live in Georgia. We gave the nation Jimmah Carter and Cynthia McCommie.
I like your license plate, but just because the retards are in office doesn't mean we all voted for them. I voted against Landrieu and Blanco, but live just outside of New Orleans so had no choice with Nagin.
I also pulled out an old Hurricane preparedness email I got this summer. B/c of Katrina I took a year off from law school and am working in outside of Honolulu.
Aloha,
Boudreaux
We're entering hurricane season. You may soon be turning on the TV and seeing a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Louisiana. If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one.'' Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in Louisiana.
We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.
Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Louisiana, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.
SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
"Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.
Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.
EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Louisiana," you live in a low-lying area.)
The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies.
Do not buy them now! Louisiana tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who get the last can of SPAM. In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
* 23 flashlights
* At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
* Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)
* A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
* A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Camille; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.)
* $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck, and remember: It's great living in Paradise!
Posted by Beau Boudreaux at October 21, 2005 05:21 PM
Update: Ya know, I think this might be an old Dave Barry column. Remember, Boudreaux didn't say he wrote it. That reminds me, Catfish sent me some Boudreaux jokes. Gotta see if I can find them.
Scaryguy suggested that someone Photoshop a Louisiana license plate with their new state motto, Stuck On Stupid. So, I asked Matt, the Photoshop wizard at StarkTruth if he would do it. Less than an hour later I got this.
Before you people in Louisiana take offense, just remember that it was you who elected Mayor Asshole, Governor Useless, and Mary TKO Landrieu.
From Pres.
The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah
my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she
floats 6 inches abova da bed in ecstasy."
The Frenchman replies. "Zat is nussing, when Ah've finished
making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body,
and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she
floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."
The Redneck says, "That ain't nothing. When I've finished
porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder
and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin'
ceiling."
Rob sent me this.
This is not the hot tub that was used at the Blogmeet in Helen!
Dammit! I will be so glad when the 2006 elections come up because then I will no longer be in Cynthia McCommie's (Moonbat, Georgia) congressional district. She once again demonstrated her intelligence in a congressional hearing on Hurricane Katrina.
Washington — Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-Ga.) asked Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff on Wednesday why he shouldn't be charged with negligent homicide for the federal government's apparent failure to save more Hurricane Katrina victims.
Which makes me want to wonder why the voters in Cynthia McCommie's district shouldn't be charged with negligent stupidity for sending this idiot to Congress.
Pulling out a series of news reports as she questioned Chertoff during a House committee hearing, McKinney read the headline: "Nursing home owners charged in deaths," in the case of 34 residents who were not evacuated from the floodwaters in New Orleans. "Mr. Secretary, if the nursing home owners are arrested for negligent homicide, why shouldn't you also be arrested for negligent homicide?" McKinney asked.
You notice she didn't ask why Mayor Asshole and Governor Useless should be indicted for negligent homicide. After all, they were the ones who dropped the ball, but since Cindy is just trying to score points against a Republican administration logic and clear thinking are not required. Remember, this is the person who said that Bush knew about 9/11 and let it happen so he could ramp up military spending and award juicy contracts to his friends in defense contracting companies.
"It seems that chaos was the plan that was implemented," she said of the administration's slow response to the catastrophe. "Leadership, Mr. Secretary, was lacking."
Yeah. Cindy knows a whole lot about leadership. She couldn't lead a dog on a leash around the block.
Before Chertoff responded, panel member Rep. Henry Bonilla (R-Texas) protested that the questioning was "over the top" and said Chertoff should not have to answer.
Bitchslap the commie bitch!
He was overruled by the House select committee chairman, Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.)."I think the secretary can take care of himself," said Davis, who later added, "Members are entitled to vent."
Translation: I think he can bitchslap the commie bitch on his own.
Chertoff responded that "it's horrible to contemplate" that some people were not promptly evacuated and given proper shelter and medical attention.
Crap! I was hoping he would start out with, "Cindy, you ignorant slut!" What he actually said:
"It was enormously frustrating," he said. "As the hours rolled on between Tuesday [Aug. 30] and Wednesday and Thursday, I pushed harder and harder about why things weren't moving.
Translation: I tried to push Mayor Asshole and Governor Useless to do their jobs, but it was a total waste of my time trying to deal with those incompetent bozos.
"I still don't have the full story about why some things weren't moving, and I look forward to having the answer to that," Chertoff said.
I would have said, "Sit on it bitch!"
Very patriotic. Red neck, white socks, and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.
It's a shame that in this PC world the only people we can make fun of are white folks, more specifically rednecks.
Anyway here's some redneck wedding pictures from Rob.
The bride and groom.
The wedding cake.
Astros get to go to the World Series. Let's see, we play 162 games to determine who's gonna go to the World Series and it turns out that the team with the third best record in the National League gets to go. That sucks!
Now the Cardinals have sumpin' in common with the Braves. In the post season, they forget how to pitch and they forget how to hit. And Tony LaRussa, the active manager with the most wins (Bobby Cox is second) gets swept in the World Series last year, and loses the League Championship this year. I wonder how many people in St. Louis are demanding that he get fired?
I will say that Oswalt is an awesome pitcher and deserves the Cy Young Award this year.
I came across this article in last Thursday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Nearly four in 10 babies in Georgia are born out of wedlock in a decades-long shift away from the traditional family, according to an analysis of a new census report released today.
Now isn't that special.
Other Southern states reported even higher rates, making the region the single-mother hub of the nation.
Just farking great!
In Mississippi, 46 percent of women giving birth were single; in Louisiana, 40 percent, according to the analysis of marriage and fertility data by the U.S. Census Bureau --- based on information collected between 2000 and 2003.
A surefire way to be poor.
Only Washington, D.C., beats Mississippi, with more than half its mothers unmarried. The report is considered the first state-by-state look at links between marriage, fertility and other characteristics.
Doesn't that say a lot about our nation's capitol?
Nationwide, about 29 percent of babies were born to single mothers, according to the census numbers.
That says a lot about what Patrick Moynihan called defining deviancy downward. It is no longer a negative stigma to be an unwed mother anymore.
Factors such as racial composition, poverty and school dropout rates make Georgia and other Southern states more likely to have out-of-wedlock births, experts say.
The black illegitimacy rate is over 60%. There is a correlation between that and crime and poverty. As I have said on many occasions, the number one cause of poverty in this country is having children you cannot afford.
"As a society, is the institution of marriage weakening?" asked Michele Ozumba, executive director of the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention, known as G-CAPP."We need to step back at our whole society and look at whether the institution of marriage is changing. What is the value of marriage now?"
Not too farking much.
While it's clear that marriage faces challenges, it's difficult to target exactly why so many women are choosing childbirth before a wedding. Single mothers --- most of them mature women, not teenagers in desperate straits --- are a diverse group.Some cohabitate with the fathers. Others marry the fathers later. And some just want a baby more than a man.
And just as the taboo of divorce is lessening, some women are deciding they can have the family without the ring.
Yeah. WTF! Who needs a man around anyway?
The statistics reveal a dramatic change. In 1980, just 22 percent of babies in Georgia were born to single mothers. Ten years later --- in 1990 --- almost a third of babies were born to single mothers, according to the AJC analysis of state birth records.Jane Dye, one of the census report's lead authors, said the numbers are merely part of a larger trend of mothers' choosing never to marry. In 2002, 23 percent of mothers never married --- up from 18 percent in 1990.
Warning! Warning! Warning! Bullshit coming!
"Some women put a higher value on motherhood than marriage," said Kai Stewart of Project Future --- an assistance program for pregnant teenagers in Atlanta that is housed by the nonprofit Atlanta Alliance on developmental disabilities.
Any teenager who gets pregnant outside of marriage has a developmental disability.
"Motherhood is something they feel they can control and is more safe than a relationship with a man they may see as less stable."
Let's see. Teenager. Unmarried. Pregnant. Tell me excactly how much in control of her life is a girl in this condition?
Teens see gift, not hardship.
Poverty: the gift that keeps on giving.
About 37 percent of single mothers are teens, according to the AJC analysis of the census data. And experts say some mothers simply aren't ready to marry their baby's father --- at least not yet.
Oh?
"They think marriage is a big step and they may not feel ready for settling down," said Katina Brown, an ob/gyn medical social worker at Grady Memorial Hospital. "Some people are not ready for that commitment."
And having a baby is not a commitment?
And then perhaps, some of the reasons may not be that deep.
Yeah. Maybe they're just incredibly stupid.
Brown also cited a casual attitude toward sex as a factor."I don't know why there are so many unwed mothers, and half of them don't know the reasons," she said. "They are dating, meeting men, having sex and not thinking about marriage."
But the consequences, in those cases, can be devastating for mother and baby.
No shit!
Researchers are troubled by another emerging trend: Half of single mothers live below the poverty line --- four times the rate of their married counterparts, according to the report.
Stupidity => Unwed mother => Poverty. Cause, meet effect.
"They see their baby as a gift, but then they have the baby and face many challenges --- there are just so many, everything from finishing school to getting a job and trying to pull that load all alone," Stewart said. "It's very difficult."
Especially if you are Stuck on Stupid.
The rich get richer because they keep doing the things that made them rich. The poor get poorer because they keep doing the things that made them poor.
To be more specific, I'm Scipio Africanus. It doesn't surprrise me that I'm a Roman, but I was hoping I'd be Caesar.
| Scipio You scored 59 Wisdom, 73 Tactics, 64 Guts, and 41 Ruthlessness! |
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You're most simillar to Scipio in the fact that you're smart and
ruthless. Scipio beat Hannibal by luring him back from Western Europe
(where he was crushing legion after legion of Roman soldiers trying to
gain support from local tribes) by laying seige to his home country of
Carthage. Hannibal returned to defend his home and was defeated at the
Battle of Zama. Ruthless, but it worked.
Scipio was the conqueror of Hannibal in the Punic Wars. He was the son of Publius Cornelius Scipio, and from a very early age he considered himself to have divine inspiration. He was with his father at the Ticino (218), and he survived Cannae (216). The young Scipio was elected (c.211) to the proconsulship in Spain. He conquered New Carthage (Cartagena) almost at once (209) and used the city as his own base; within several years he had conquered Spain. As consul in 205, Scipio wanted to invade Africa, but his jealous enemies in the senate granted him permission to go only as far as Sicily and gave him no army. He trained a volunteer army in Sicily. In 204 he received permission to go to Africa, where he joined his allies the Numidians and fought with success against the Carthaginians. In 202, Hannibal crossed to Africa and tried to make peace, but Scipio's demands were so extreme that war resulted; Scipio defeated Hannibal at Zama (202), returned home in triumph, and retired from public life. He was named Africanus after the country he conquered. His pride aggravated the hatred of his enemies, especially Cato the Elder , who accused the Scipio family of receiving bribes in the campaign against Antiochus III in which Scipio had accompanied (190) his brother. It was only through the influence of his son-in-law, Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus, that Scipio was saved from ruin. He retired into the country and ordered that his body might not be buried in his ungrateful city. Later he revealed his great magnanimity by his attempt to prevent the ruin of the exiled Hannibal by Rome. |
 |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Which Historic General Are You Test written by dasnyds on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
From Budman8.
Do you know how to tell if it belongs to an Arab country's Navy?
It will be full of Arab semen.
Almost forgot my weekly Rome post. This week they did pretty well except for a few things about Cleopatra.
WTF was up with the pipe? WTF was she smoking?
Pullo and Vorenus finding Cleopatra.
Pullo nailing Cleopatra.
Once again, the real story was better. Cleopatra was not especially good looking. She was incredibly intelligent and spoke many languages, including Greek, Latin, and Egyptian, fluently. She was considered a goddess by the Egyptian people. She was a direct descendant of Ptolemy, one of Alexander the Great's generals. The Ptolemys went native and adopted the Egyptian custom of brothers and sisters marrying. This kept the bloodline pure. The thought of Cleopatra getting nailed by a common Roman soldier was ludicrous.
Cleopatra actually had herself smuggled into Caesar's presence rolled up in a carpet.
Caesar did want Ptolemy and Cleopatra to rule jointly, but Ptolemy's advisors, who were depicted accurately as eunichs, had him escape from the palace and have his army besiege Alexandria.
Once again, even outnumbered, Caesar managed to survive and win.
Caesar was extremely pissed about Pompey being beheaded. That was depicted accurately. He loved to forgive and pardon his enemies as long as they were Roman.
Didja like the scenes switching back and forth from Caesar nailing Cleo to Servilia, Caesar's ex-mistress getting it on with Octavia, Caesar's grandniece?
Cleo doesn't have very big tits does she?
I watched part of the movie Sideways Saturday night and the rest of it last night. It sucked! I don't see what the raving was all about. It was a movie about two losers going up to Santa Barbara to taste wines, play golf, and get laid.
The main character, Miles, was a middle school English teacher who was a wine snob and thought that he had written the great American novel. Geez! He stole money from his mother! What a farking dickhead!
His friend was a two bit actor who would screw any woman who opened her legs for him. I worked with a guy like that. He had a pretty blonde wife and a son, but he would screw any woman who would let him. We were amazed at some of the women he nailed. We used to say he would screw a snake if someone would hold its mouth open. Bill Clinton I can understand. If I were married to Hillary I would want to get some on the side. I bet he hasn't boinked Hillary in years. Who would want to?
Neither of these losers were sympathetic characters.
They had one sequence in the movie where Miles explained how to taste wine properly. He also expounded on the virtues of the Pinot Noir grape. My friend Michael, who is a wine retailer, told me that his Pinot Noir sales doubled after this movie came out. There was also a disparaging statement about Merlot. Michael said that one line has destroyed Merlot sales in this country.
Miles gets drunk and calls his ex-wife. Yeah, I know some guys do it. Losers! I have never called an ex-girlfriend when I was drunk. I only call current girlfriends when I'm hammered.
Miles friend is a total asshole. So is Miles. The plot sucks and so does the movie. If you haven't seen it, don't bother.
I wonder if the writers meant Sideways the way I think they do? Old joke.
They had a bug. They fixed it. Here is what my blog is worth. How do I collect?
How many Minnesota Vikings football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They screw in a boat.
It's still Monday. It's a pun. It's topical.
Got it from Scott.
If you think this is bad, SondraK tops it!!
This one is from Charlieb.
If big breasted women work at Hooters
Where do one legged women work?
You're gonna love this one.
First off, I did cook everything last night. I'm actually a fairly good cook. So is my sister. She cooks French. I cook Italian. You oughta taste my canneloni. I make the pasta from scratch.
About the crabmeat cheesecake. We had a blogmeet in Nawlins a few months back and my first night there, Christina (I'd link but she is in transition), suggested we eat at the Palace Cafe on Canal Street. When we got there, she recommended the crabmeat cheesecake. Eeeewww! That doesn't even sound good. I took her advice and tried it. It was delicious. That being said, the crabmeat cheesecake I made last night was even better. No kidding!
Anyway, here is the recipe Christina was nice enough to send me.
Pecan Crust:
3/4 cup pecans
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold
3 tablespoons ice water
Filling:
1/2 small onion, finely diced
4 ounces fresh lump crabmeat, picked over for shells
8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
3 ounces Creole cream cheese (or 3 tablespoons each plain yogurt and sour cream)
2 eggs
Salt and white pepper to taste
Crystal hot sauce to taste (or your favorite hot sauce)
Garnish:
2 tablespoons chopped shallots
4 ounces sliced mixed wild and exotic mushrooms
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3 ounces Worcestershire sauce
1 ounce hot sauce
3 ounces heavy whipping cream (UK: single cream)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
24 crab claw fingers
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
For the pecan crust: Grind the pecans, flour and salt in a food processor until fine. Transfer to a bowl. Add the butter. Work the butter into the flour until you have crumbs about the size of a pea. Toss in the ice water, lifting up the dough with your fingers to incorporate evenly. The dough will remain fairly crumbly. Starting with the sides, and then the bottom, press the dough into a 9-inch tart pan. Bake the crust in a 350°F oven for about 20 minutes. Allow the crust to cool before filling. Meanwhile, make the filling ...
For the filling: Cook the onion in a bit of butter over medium heat until translucent. Add the crabmeat and cook just until heated through. Remove from heat and set aside. In a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment (or by hand using a wooden spoon), blend the cream cheese until smooth. Add the Creole cream cheese and then the eggs one at a time. Fold in the crabmeat mixture. Season to taste with salt, white pepper and hot sauce. Pour the mix into the prepared cooled crust. Bake at 300°F for about 30 minutes until set and firm to the touch.
For the garnish topping: Sauté shallots until translucent. Add the mushrooms and sweat until just cooked through. Add the lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce, and reduce by 3/4. Add the heavy cream and reduce by half. Whisk in the butter.
In a separate sauté pan, add crab claw fingers. Salt and pepper to taste, then pour the reduction over and keep warm. Each slice of cheesecake gets three crab claws and 2 tablespoons of sauce.
Yield: 8 servings from one 9" tart
I did everything but the crab claws. Couldn't find any. We ate half as an appetizer. Michael and Cindy left me a small piece and took the rest home for their lunch today. They were the birthday people after all. This dish went real well with Champagne.
I'm having my friend Cindy and her husband over for dinner tonight for her birthday. The menu:
Crab cheesecake with pecan crust. Champagne to drink. Delamotte Brut.
Tossed salad. Finish off the Champagne.
Veal saltimbocca. Rotini pasta with a white sauce. 1995 Gigondas to drink.
Parmigiano reggiano. Whatever red wine Michael is bringing. Could be French. Could be Italian. Could be American. It will be good.
The reds may be flipped.
To my French friends, you may notice that I am drinking at least two French wines tonight.
I almost forgot, Cindy's birthday is officially the start of Cognac season at GOC Central. We will finish off the evening with Delamain Vesper.
I love being a SRF©! If I were sober enough at the end of the night I would go out and kick a homeless person. Instead all I'll be able to do is think of all the poor people I oppressed on my way to financial security. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Update: The other wine was a 1997 Leoville Barton. We had that with the veal and the Gigondas with the cheese.
Ralph Gizzip sent me some things we learned about Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath. I don't know where this originated.
Things I have learned from watching the news on TV during the last two
weeks:
1-White folks don't make good news stories.
2-The hurricane only hit black families' property.
3-New Orleans was devastated and no other city was affected by the hurricane.
4-Mississippi is reported to have a tree blown down.
5-New Orleans has no white people.
6-The hurricane blew a limb off a tree in the yard of an Alabama resident.
7-When you are hungry after a hurricane, steal a big screen TV.
8-The hurricane did 23 billion dollars in improvements to New Orleans. Now
the city is welfare, looters, and gang-free, and they are in your city
9-Don't give thanks to the thousands that came to help rescue you, instead
bitch because the government hasn't given you a debit card yet.
10-Only black family members got separated in the hurricane rescue efforts.
11-Ignore warnings to evacuate and the white folks will come get you and
give you money for being stupid.
Big ones this week.
Looks like she's married.
For the first time since the start of the intifada, more Palestinians have been killed in internal violence since the start of the year than those who have died in clashes with Israel, according to an official report published Thursday.In the report, the Palestinian Authority's Interior Ministry cited 219 deaths as a result of inner-Palestinian violence compared to 218 deaths at the hands of Israeli security forces over the course of the first nine months of this year. The statistics reflect the relative calm in the territories vis-a-vis Israel as well as the increasing anarchy in PA-controlled areas.
The ministry, which oversees the PA's security services, argued that the data speaks to the dangers inherent in the deteriorating security situation within the PA. It called on all the factions within the PA to support efforts in enforcing the law.
Ah the nascent Palestinian State. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of people. Get your popcorn ready and grab a seat for the Palestinian civil war. Let the killing begin.
My solution has always been to put 'em all in Gaza, build a big ol' wall around 'em, and let 'em kill each other. That's pretty much all they know how to do anyway: Kill people and scream death threats.
The Reverend Jesse Jackson was holding a press conference
in the appliance department of a Sears store in Chicago.
He was there to protest the fact that all the washing
machines were white.
So the clerk called the store manager, who asked,
"What's the problem here, Reverend?" Jesse pointed
at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that all
of them were white.
The manager replied, "Well, Reverend, it's true that
all the washing machines are white, but if you'll open
the lids, you'll see that the agitators are black."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Station Virginia -- One of the military's largest transports got stuck at the end of a runway atop the I-564 overpass for more than 16 hours. It was unable to turn around at the West end of Chambers Field at the Norfolk Naval Station. The incident forced the closing of the field to all but helicopter traffic and made for a dramatic sight for hundreds of motorists passing beneath it during morning rush hour.
"That thing's like a big building sitting there.'' said motorists. The nose of the aircraft actually stuck out and OVER the Interstate!
The aircraft's nose was so far over the end of the ramp, the crew was unable to see the runway where it was supposed to turn around so the pilot simply had to leave it at the end of the runway. The Air Force C-5 Galaxy, largest airplane in the free world, is almost as long as a football field and as high as a six-story building.
Weighing 420 tons with a full load, it uses a system of 28 wheels to distribute its weight. The aircraft had to wait for a specially made tow bar trucked in from Dover, Del.! When the tow bar arrived, it was used to hook the C-5 to a tractor that then turned the aircraft around. The plane was not damaged.
The female co-pilot was overheard saying to the male pilot as they exited the plane...
"I told you we should have stopped and asked for directions."
From Charlieb.
I've never been tagged by one of those Questions About Yourself things going around the Blogosphere, and if I were. I wouldn't participate anyway. What I will do is answer one of the questions.
Which five people in history would you like to have dinner with?
All of mine, with one exception, are people who had a great impact on history. The exception would provide the entertainment.
1. Alexander the Great, preferably when he was sober. I would really like to talk to him about his tactics and what made him a military genius at such an early age. Alexander was responsible for spreading the Hellenistic culture around the Eastern Mediterranean. He founded Alexandria. His conquests led to the Ptolemy dynasty in Egypt and the Seleucid dynasty in the Middle East.
2. Julius Caesar. Would I ever love to listen to him and Alexander discuss military tactics. What can I say about Caesar? He was both a brilliant general and a brilliant statesman. I wonder if after his reforms he would have retired and reestablished the Republic like Sulla did or create the Principate like Augustus did? Could he have defeated the Parthians where Crassus failed? Exactly what would have been his plans had he lived? Would he have bequeathed his power to Octavius (Augustus) or would he have found another heir? Marcus Antonius was a cousin. There was some speculation that he was even considering Brutus.
3. Augustus. Here I would enjoy listening to Augustus and Caesar discussing politics. There's no doubt Caesar would have been proud of how Augustus turned out on top after his assassination and the resulting civil war. What would he have thought of Augustus' policy of ending the expansion of the empire and consolidating the frontiers? I know what Caesar's response would have been to Varus' loss at the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest. He would have gone into Germany with an overwhelming force, killed as many Germans as he could, and as in the last Gallic revolt, cut off the hands of all the German prisoners.
4. Jesus. Another man who changed history. Since I'm an atheist, I don't think he was devine, but he must have been an amazing man. I would like to be able to separate the man from the myth and the legend. The gospels were written by men who had never met him and they were secondhand stories. What was Jesus really like? What would he think of the church established in His name?
5. Mozart. Like Alexander, he died young, but produced an incredible amount of music in his short life. It would be awesome to listen to him improvise on the piano. He was a very crude man socially, but what a musician! "Keep your mouth shut Wolfie and tickle them ivories."
I wonder whom I would get to cook this dinner?
Update: I really didn't think of this when I wrote the post. Just think, If Jesus really was divine, I wouldn't have to buy any wine. All I would need was some water. He would do the rest. I wonder if I could specify the wine and vintage?
I know Pumpman will like this one.
From Charlieb.
Or asshole boss. Take your pick.
From Gwen, whom I really, really miss.
Sent to me by Charlieb. Drawn by this guy.
Yeah. I'm making fun of homeless people again. Last time I did this someone called me a SFA and a SRF©. I'm mean.
One of the reasons that I was not too upset with the Braves losing against Houston was that the Cardinals were in the playoffs. I grew up in Webster Groves, a suburb of St. Louis, and have been a Cardinals fan all my life. Let's face it. Atlanta is not a baseball town. St. Louis is.
The playoff games in Atlanta were not sold out. WTF? I bet the playoff games in St. Louis were. I didn't see any empty seats tonight. I gotta hand it to Bobby Cox, he gets the Braves into the playoffs every year but where are the fans in Atlanta? Why are there empty seats? Maybe they would do better in the playoffs if there was more support from the fans.
My Cardinals won tonight. I expect them to win this series. I expect them to get into the World Series. I expect them to win.
Go Cards!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I stole it from here.
Dear Professor Adams:
Thanks so much for linking to me in this column. Thanks to that link I set a record for daily hits that was only exceeded by the one and only Instalanche I received in my first month of blogging.
That Instalanche caused Kim du Toit to contact me and introduce himself and Toren Smith, who alas quit blogging as has Kim due to professional reasons. Being on Kim's blogroll helped me a lot as did going on Pumpman's blogroll.
I estimate that your link was worth about 400 additional hits yesterday and I'm seeing additional hits today. I'm hoping, as with all referrals that many of those hits will be what Joseph Farah calls "sticky hits", that is, people who come back again.
I enjoy reading your columns and it's nice to see that there are conservatives at our universities. I especially like it when you poke fun at the pervasive political correctness and liberal bias in our colleges.
Thanks again for the referral and keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Denny Wilson aka Grouchy Old Cripple
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
1st Chorus
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby- Whiskey Lullaby sung by Brad Paisley and Alison Krause. Written by Bill Anderson and Jon Randall
I'm watching a friend commit suicide. He's not putting a gun to his head. He's not slicing his wrists. He's drinking himself to death and it will be a slow horrible death. Dax wrote the post I've been writing in my mind since Helen. His is better than what I would have written.
I hate to see a fighter quit fighting. I hate to see a man give up, especially someone who was a skinny little runt who played above his weight as a linebacker. It is his choice. All the rest of us can do is watch. We are watching a train wreck in slow motion. It ain't a pretty sight.
Next year in Helen we'll have a good time while at the same time we will mourn the loss of a friend. We will all raise a glass of Chatham Artillery Punch in his memory.
What did they mess up in this episode?
Caesar and Pompey fought two battles in Greece, not one. The first one, Pompey won. Pompey put all of his captives to death, Caesar spared his. The Romans in Pompey's army weren't too happy about this. It had a deleterious effect on their morale. The episode was correct that Pompey wanted to adopt a Fabian strategy against Caesar.
What's a Fabian strategy? During the Punic Wars, when Hannibal was in Italy, Quintus Fabius Maximus was made dictator to oppose Hannibal. Knowing that Hannibal was a better general, Fabius adopted a strategy of hit and run and declined any major battle with Hannibal. By this strategy, he hoped to wear down Hannibal and save his army. He was considered a coward, as was Pompey after his victory over Caesar in their first battle. Fabius was replaced after a year and his replacements were defeated by Hannibal, the most decisive defeat was at Cannae where the Roman army suffered a devastating defeat.
This is the kind of stuff you learn when you've had a classical education.
Back to Pompey. The morale was very poor in Pompey's army. Morale was sky high in Caesar's army and the soldiers begged him to engage Pompey again so they could atone for the first defeat. Caesar's army was outnumbered, but they won. A sumptious feast had been laid out in Pompey's tent to celebrate his victory. Instead, Caesar ate dinner that night in Pompey's tent, while Pompey fled on horseback (not on a wagon). His wife and children were not with him, but joined him at Mytilene as he made his way to Alexandria. There he was stabbed and beheaded. (They got that part right.)
Wow! The only sex we had in this episode was some lesbo love action between Octavia and Servilia. I never saw that coming. As I have said many times before, Octavia was happily married to Marcellus at this time. I don't think he would have been too happy about Servilia telling Octavia (or was it the other way around?), "Lesbe friends."
I guess next week we get to see Cleopatra. They'll probably mess up the military action that occurred in Alexandria, when once again, Caesar was outnumbered but managed to win.
I see by the credits that they have a history consultant for the show. They must not be listening to him.
I had a great time last night swilling wine. 1995 was a great vintage. We drank wines from France, California, and Spain. My favorite wine of the entire night we drank after most of the people had left. Michael invited some people down into his cellar to select two more wines to consume. One of them was a 1995 Gigondas. I have one bottle of that wine left, and I may drink it next week when I have Michael and Cindy over for her birthday.
I had been looking forward to this tasting, not just for the wines, but for seeing Tom Burns again. Tom is a specialist in Roman history who teaches at Emory University. He has been on the History Channel a few times. I wanted to discuss a few things with him.
I asked him if he had seen any of the HBO series, Rome. He had watched one episode and had turned it off in disgust.
He has read the Colleen McCullouch Masters of Rome series and he agreed with me on how well she had researched her history. He liked the series as much as I.
We talked about the late empire and he informed me that he had written a book covering that period. I found it on Amazon and will order it soon. It is on my wish list so Cindy may get it for me for my birthday.
Another guy at the party and I discussed restaurants. It turns out he had eaten at the Palace Cafe in Nawlins, and had eaten the crab cheesecake that I am gonna attempt to make this weekend.
I slept in this morning, for obvious reasons. We killed about 26 bottles of wine. There were about 24 people there and the women didn't drink as much as the men, so the men wound up drinking more than a bottle each. This was spread out over six hours. I live close by so I didn't have any problems getting home.
Nothing to rant about and I haven't seen this week's episode of Rome yet. I'll watch it tonight and see what else they screw up.
I haven't posted a groaner from Richard in a while so here's one.
A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a bourbon and...
...
... a coke."
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"
The bear shrugs and says...
"I've had them all my life."
Today is the annual Ten Years On Party at the house of my friends, Michael and Cindy. Everyone has to bring a red wine 10 years old (or 20, 30, 40, etc.) or a white 5 years old. I'm taking a 1995 Fronsac from Chateau Fontenil.
I expect to consume mass quantities of wine. Poor me!
Sent to me by many people.
Hello Everyone!
I Want to thank all of you who have taken the time and
trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and
wealthy. Because of your concern...
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people
who make these products are atheists who refuse to put
"Under God" on their cans.
I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will
get sick from the rat feces and urine.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it
causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected
with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since
they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and
don't support our American troops.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the
phone bill from ---- with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the
estrogens they contain will turn me gay.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer date the opposite sex because they will
take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change
once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus
since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena
has granted my everywish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends
and make a wish within five minutes.
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl who is about to die in the hospital
(for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that
will change once I receive the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL are sending
me for participating in their special e-mail
program. Yes, I want to thank
all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!
I will now return the favor.
If you don't send this post to at least 1200 people
in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea
will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this
afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels
will infest your armpits. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a
friend of a friend of a friend of a
friend of a friend of a friend of a
friend of my next-door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd
cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's
mother's beautician!!!
Some of these I hadn't heard about yet.
From Ron.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia
Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor?)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
That one is so true and I'm sure that you will agree.
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns
I went into the 7-11 gas station and asked for five dollars worth of gas.
The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
From Catfish.
Michelle sent me an e-mail that went:
Plug French Military Victories into Google and select I'm Feeling Lucky.
Sorry Pierce and Prosper. I just couldn't resist it.
I recently had another troll bitching about how I don't allow dissenting opinions on this site and that's why he was trolling. That's funny. We've been having a weeklong discussion on gun control with two French guys. It has been relatively polite with very little name calling. Even Rob has toned down his rhetoric.
I've stated over and over again and it is in the rules of this site that if you start off a post with an insult and it is not amusing I will treat you as a troll. If you are polite and present your opinions in a reasoned and rational manner, you are allowed to stay. Often I have had to ask people on my side of the debate to watch their manners.
This is my site. I pay for the bandwidth. I make the rules. It is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship and I am the dictator. If that is a problem, your browser has a back button.
I have my opinions and I express them. I also control the comments. Trolls are inherently stupid. Why try to get into some sort of a pissing contest with someone who can edit your comments? And then after I have made this clear, not only in the rules of this site, but in the comment forms, both on the main form and the preview form, why would any one be stupid enough to try and engage in a flame contest with me? It's rigged. I always win. And then, after all the warnings when I do exactly what I say I will do, these incredibly stupid assholes whine about how unfair this is. Listen up douchebags. Life isn't fair!
I have a brain and most of my trolls don't. Is that fair?
I am rich and most of my trolls aren't. Is that fair?
I succeeded because I worked my ass off. My trolls are probably lazy. I'm sure they think that's unfair. Most of my trolls are leftists so that explains that.
Pumpman did tell me that I have some of the most amusing trolls he has ever seen. Some of them are. Some of them are annoying. Others I feel sorry for because they are incredibly stupid but if they pick a fight with me, I will win. I can tell the really stupid ones because they keep coming back for more.
Y'know, I write a post like this about six times a year. I have rules. I have warnings. But some people just don't seem to get it.
So I get to play Whack-a-Troll.
Google Whack-a-troll and see who holds the first two slots. Heh. Heh. Heh.
I coulda used one of these when I worked for IBM.
It seems there are people who want to seize control of the internet.
Old allies in world politics, representatives from the UK and US sat just feet away from each other, but all looked straight ahead as Hendon explained the EU had decided to end the US government's unilateral control of the internet and put in place a new body that would now run this revolutionary communications medium.
Short post.
Dear World: Two words. Fuck! You! We built it. We run it. Keep you hands off the internet. We believe in free speech in this country.
TO: ALL AIRCRAFT ACTIVITIES
SUBJ: AIRFRAME COMPONANTS - WINDOWS - CRACKS IN WINDOWS
ENCL: (1) BOEING AIRCRAFT COMPANY PHOTOGRAPH OF CRACKS
1. CRACKS IN WINDOWS HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED ON VARIOUS AIRCRAFT. ENCLOSURE (1) IS PROVIDED FOR YOUR REVIEW AS AN AID TO HELP DISCOVER AND IDENTIFY THESE CRACKS.
2. THE USE OF MAGNIFICATION EQUIPMENT IS PERMITTED AND RECOMMENDED AS AN AID TO IDENTIFYING CRACKS.
3. WHEN CRACKS ARE DISCOVERED IT IS REQUESTED THAT PHOTOGRAPHS BE TAKEN AND SUBMITTED WITH AN "AS DISCOVERED REPORT" TO:
BOEING COMPANY
100 NORTH RIVERSIDE
CHICAGO, IL USA 60606
4. YOUR COOPERATION AND ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS GREATLY APPRECIATED.
BOEING
###
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ENCLOSURE (1)
Made ya look! From Charlieb.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how my writing goes in cycles. There are times that I have lots to write about, and then there are times like tonight when I really don't have much to say. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe.
I'm really not hot on any topic right now.
Paul asked me to weigh in on Harriet Miers. Like Sergeant Schultz, I know nothing. Is she a conservative? Is she another Souter? Who knows?
Molly Ivins doesn't like her. That's a plus. Harry Reid does. That's a minus.
I was hoping that Bush would nominate another Thomas or Scalia. Instead he nominates what?
As I've said many times, the main reason I voted for Bush was the War on Terror. He's spending like a drunken sailor and I believe he has whiffed twice on the Supreme Court. He sure as hell is not a conservative, but I much prefer him to anything the Dimocrats had to offer. I just wish that he would govern as a Republican. Just like I wish the Republicans in Congress would legislate as Republicans.
I wanted to see Bush nominate someone who would really piss off the Dimocrats. I wanted to see a fight and I wanted to see the Republcians in the Senate grow some balls and exercise the nuclear option. I can guarantee if the roles were reversed the Dimocrats would. Jesus H. Christ! You assholes control the Senate. Start acting like it! Lott was a wimp and Frist is not much better. Why do you think the country voted for you assholes? It sure wasn't to take any shit from Ted Swimmer Kennedy and Chuck "the Schmuck" Schumer.
Sorry. That's all I have to say tonight.
If you want sumpin interesting to read, read this. Prosper and Pierce, see what happens when French folks move to the bayous of Louisiana? They grow balls and become self sufficient.
Or maybe it should be Shiner. Or better yet, V-Man's Chatham Artillery Punch. Yeah, that's the ticket.
Update: So Matt, my buddy at StarkTruth whipped me up the Shiner Bock version. Here 'tis.
What every blogmeet needs!
He wants to know if it's any good. All the blodgers I know like it.
Sent to me by a blonde.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those
expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week
I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had
been completed a whole year ago and I hadn't paid for them.
Boy oh boy, did we go around!
Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically
stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told
me . . . that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. Hello?
There was silence on the other end, so I just hung up, and I haven't
heard back from him since.
Guess I won that stupid argument.
No guitar. No booze. Yeah there's some behind me but none in my hand. Totally oblivious as to what is going on.
I miss all the good stuff. When I was rehabbing at Shepherd Center, patients and techs were smoking weed out in the garden at night and I never knew it. I was in a lot of pain and had just been weaned off of Demoral and was on Percocet and Darvocet. I could have really used some Weedocet, but didn't know it was available. Bummmer!
This was taken in Pumpman's room. I can tell from the Tequila bottle and Margarita mix behind me.
Update: What I neglected to mention was that Elisson took this picture and the other one.
Holy crap! I almost forgot what today is. Today is my wedding anniversary. Yep! On October 5, 1965 I got married. Didn't last. She had big tits and was good in bed. After that, not much. Remember what Robin Williams says (I think it was Robin), "God gives men only enough blood for their brains or their peckers." He's right.
The good thing was that I was married when going to electonics school at Great Lakes Naval Training Center. While all the other guys were going out trying to score, I went home and got a home cooked meal and a roll in the hay. It made going to school a lot more pleasant.
I was divorced two years later. She always had a weight problem. At one time she weighed more than I did and I was 7 inches taller than she was. She probably still outweighs me and her tits are probably at her knees.
She paid for the divorce and I got the car. I was an asshole back then, too.
I think I'll celebrate by getting drunk.
Josh made up this sign for those who don't believe in guns for protection against thieves.
I always love it when one of the Addisons takes the time to write a long comment or sends me a long e-mail about a topic. These are guys that should have their own blogs. Maybe I should just give them keys to this site so they could post now and then. Here is a comment Addison (the other one) posted in my post on Guns.
Prosper wrote:
Ray must be right : USA is a sum of individualities, Europe is more a collective society. But it always seems that you all (on this blog, maybe not all the americans) are suspicious of your government (one of the reasons you don't want to be disarmed). May I ask why ? Your country is an old democracy...
Here is Addison's (the other one) reply.
And that's a large reason why. Because we *don't trust the government, cause it's made up of *people**.
Prosper, the "Founding Fathers" weren't ignorant hicks. They were some of the most learned men on the planet at the time. But they also had the experience of being on the frontier - even the "civilized" portions of the 13 colonies were utter hicksville compared to England.
And they _understood human nature_.
Let me harp on that a bit, it's important. The US Constitution is a document that spends more time deliniating what government may *not* do, than what it will. It's unique, and for it's time, utterly paradigm-shifting. Even today, look at the "EU Constitution" as a comparision (which is doomed to failure because it doesn't take to account lessons learned.
People are greedy. People will take a mile if you give them an inch. This is why the US Constitution is so well written. It was able to easily expand from 13 coastal states to 50 spreading a continent, with even gaps and oceans in between. Most of the "mistakes" with the Constitution (income tax, direct elections of Senators) were attempts to bring it into the "enlightened" age. (Don't forget Prohibition. We are making the same mistake with our insane War on Drugs...GOC)
So the US system encourages questioning the government. Provides checks and balances. IIRC, Chirac is looking at jail time whenever he's ousted, but as long as he's where he is, he's sacrosanct. Excuse me? So the crooks can stay in power, as long as they hold power? That's a *good* system?
Or, like in Canada, where the ruling party is apparently manufacturing duties for the police, so they can't investigate said ruling party while they rape and loot?
Most of the problem is when the checks and balances are *not used correctly*. Commerce Clause use by Congress should have been curtailed. 2 US Supreme Court Justices should have been impeached for using foreign law as a basis for overturning state laws on death penalties.
But, lets all get along, and not rock the boat. Hell, on a state level, as far as I know, nobody did anything about the NJ Supreme Court - which unanimously held that if the Democrats were going to lose a US Senate seat, that all election laws and rules had to be suspended, and the Democrats were allowed to substitute someone more popular. (Another example of Dimocrats doing what they accuse Republicans of doing: stealing elections...GOC)
*Those* are the problems with the US system, when people *do not do the job they've sworn to do*.
"And if a robber comes : We don't care, we'll be refunded by insurance compagnies ! And EU robbers don't have guns. I don't see why we would need to shoot at them !"
So, in other words, you'll surrender all your goods to anybody with force. Weren't you telling me that the French didn't surrender?
That's a view that works. Once. Why would the robber *stop* demanding of you if you're not going to use force? Calling the cops is just outsourcing, using contractors for force.
If you don't understand the need to use force in a protective manner, well, we can see why WWI and II worked out they way it did. (By the by, you might be.. inflating the actual numbers and accomplishments of the French Resistance).
What is "insurance" money? Well, it's money that a large group of you put up to cover unexpected events. *By definition*, it costs more than it pays out. So for you to get your money back for your TV (we'll be nice and presume that the criminals are ONLY going to go so far, even though human nature, history, and current news prove otherwise), your insurance pool has to pay in that money, plus more.
Guess what happens when everybody puts a claim in?
It's a simplistic, unrealistic system, that only works for a short time. (Like most Socialist ideas).
But the concept of shooting someone for taking your property is also about human nature. People *will* take it if its easy to. Raise the stakes, and the laws of economics dictate that lots fewer will think it's worth the risk. (Many people miss that Economic Theory is the best measure of Human Nature). So society benefits from anybody casually thinking of stealing, having to worry "is that TV worth taking a bullet?" Even if that's not all that likely, even if there would be a huge social stigma attached - it *assists* human nature in being "good" - being part of a *society* that works together.
Funny, how that seems to work better the less you try and DETAIL how to do it.
Charlieb sent me this link about bias at my sister's favorite newspaper, the San Francisco Chronicle. Bias? What bias?
My sister canceled her subscription to the Chronicle about two years before she left California since it was entirely too leftwing for her and she couldn't take it anymore. I always enjoyed the letters to the editor. They were far more amusing than the ones in the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. Some of the ones in the AJC actually make sense. None of the ones in the Chronicle ever did. Proof positive that California is the land of fruits and nuts.
This was news to me. Mark just informed me that Clinton was lobbying to have his likeness on the dollar bill. Mark even sent me the proposed design.
That is just so wrong!
First Place in the Man of the Year competition.
Check it out. Not only is he holding hands, but he is also helping out by carrying a six pack.
Amazing! I put up a picture of a bunch of dudes with guns and I get over 82 comments! That is a record for a single post. And the comments are all over the map. Of course our European friends do not understand our fascination with guns.
Prosper doesn't understand how we can reconcile "turn the other cheek" to "fuck with me and I'll blow your ass away".
And then some booger eatin' moh-ron posted this:
It's because everyone is like you that you need those weapons.In a civilized country, there wouldn't be any dangerous looter.
And someone with a piece of humanity would realize that your goods worth less than a life.
Even the life of looters is more important than anything.
This means you think your flat TV worth more than a human life !!!
You should be ashamed. What is sure, is that Hell is waiting for you.This just show that : You don't respect life as much as money.
Fucking damn violent country.
No dude! I respect my life. Not everyone is coming to just loot me. Some of those crackheads may want to kill me. Ain't gonna happen. And I got news for you. The life of looters isn't worth jack shit! I'm an atheist. I don't believe in Hell.
And police cannot always protect us. If some bastard is breaking down my door, he's gonna get inside before the police get there. Once he sets foot in my house, he's dead.
Pierce checked in with:
And if a robber comes : We don't care, we'll be refunded by insurance compagnies ! And EU robbers don't have guns. I don't see why we would need to shoot at them !
Yeah, and your medical care is "free". Where do you think the insurance companies get the money to pay you for your shit? They have to raise the premiums to cover their losses.
Our founders put the Second Amendment in our Constitution for a reason. One of the first things a gummint does when it turns into a totalitarian state is disarm the populace. That's what they did in Germany in the 1930's. Ain't gonna happen here.
Booger eatin' moh-ron posts again:
So W.T.F., you agree with me that in your country, humans still behave like animals.Good ! You made the first step toward civilization.
I'll be willing to bet this guy is French. Dude, how are those Paris suburbs doing with all the Muslims? Yep! We got people in this country who behave like animals and I lay the blame for them on the Dimocrat Party. Their 40 year experiment on eliminating poverty created a permanent underclass concentrated in the inner cities where crime and drug use are rampant. I blame both parties for their insane War on Drugs for most of the crime in the inner cities. You'd think we would have learned sumpin' from Prohibition.
Booger eatin' moh-ron, who goes by the name of Bunch-of-fools (No dude. You're just one farking fool) must of forgotten how this uncivilized country saved the planet three times last century, by winning WWI, WWII, aand the Cold War. We now have to save the planet from Islamo-fascism because most of Europe is run by a bunch of pussies. I'm sick of your condescending and patronising bullshit about us not being a civilized country. Go cower in fear from the Muslim terrorists you fucking pussy. We'll take care of business like we always do.
I'm getting just a little bit pissed off here.
mns is a person after my own heart.
I'm an American. I'm also an athiest. Further, I'm a Social Darwinist. Watching irrelevant welfare states abroad criticize us is highly amusing to me. Thanks for your input, but for future reference, we'll let you know when we give a fuck what you think. I suggest you take some Pepto-Bismal to soothe that burning in your stomach. Kthx. Bbye.
OK. I feel a little bit better now.
Pierce again:
Then why do you get a higher crime rate? In some conditions, guns don't raise the criminal rate it's true, but give weapons to poors, they'll use it to get money as it's easier than going to school.
See Drugs, War on (above). See Poverty, War on (above). The availability of guns does not mean more crime. In fact, the states with the most restrictive gun laws are the states with the most crime. Our nation's capital probably has the most restrictive gun laws in the country. Crime is rampant.
Australia instituted restrictive gun laws and its crime rate went up. Same in England.
Says Doug:
I would rather point a loaded gun at a murderer, than a white flag. So this proves France is stuck on stupid!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one, Doug!
Marcel:
Pierce, relying on your well trained police to protect your property sure worked with Mr. Hitler, didn't it? If a foreign army ever invaded USA soil, I'd be behind a tree pulling the trigger on my SKS as fast as I could acquire the next target. Along with millions of other self-trained Americans. That's the difference: we don't rely on others for our protection and survival as a nation.
A-farking-men, Marcel!
Marksman2000:
I found this comment particularly interesting: "In EU we don't need guns to feel safe because we know that nobody is gonna have guns to attack us. And if a robber comes, we don't care. We'll be refunded by insurance companies! And EU robbers don't have guns. I don't see why we would need to shoot at them! To protect what? They rob only insurance companies, they don't rob us."I cleaned up the spelling and grammar a bit. (I do the same thing for the commenters who are polite...GOC) Now, let me translate that into a historical context and perhaps we can better understand these liberal European ideologies: "In Europe, we don't need guns and a large standing army to feel safe. We've failed to learn from our past mistakes and are doomed to repeat them. And if we are invaded, we don't care. We can depend on real countries like the United States of America. And most invaders can't contend with the U.S. military, so why should Europe help destroy them? To protect what? Why should we defend ourselves when the U.S. will do our job for us?"
Just damn! That's a better response than I made to the exact same comment. Do I have great commmenters or what?
And then, guess what? People started getting along. Denita offered to buy Pierce a few pints. W.T.F offered to let Pierce go shooting with him. Are we Americans great people or what? Fuck with us and we'll shoot your ass dead. Want to shoot a gun? Try mine. Want to have a drink with us? We'll buy.
You don't want us as enemies, but we make the best friends in the world.
Oh, and I think Jimmy does live on another planet.
Second Place in the Man of the Year competition.
Two Australian physicians won the Nobel Prize for medicine and discovered that stomach ulcers were a result of bacteria and not stress.
The 1982 discovery transformed peptic ulcer disease from a chronic, frequently disabling condition to one that can be cured by a short regimen of antibiotics and other medicines, the Nobel Prize committee said.Thanks to their work, it has now been established that the bacterium Helicobacter pylori, which the new Nobel winners discovered, is the most common cause of peptic ulcers.
I always thought that it was my father and myself who gave my mother her ulcer. Whew! I'm off the hook for that one. If my sister gets an ulcer she won't be able to blame it on her son whom she often said reminded her of me when he was growing up.
Third place in the Man of the Year competition.
This picture was taken by Steve.
How come I only have a beer in one hand? Am I flipping the bird with my free hand?
Once again they left crap out. Before Caesar followed Pompey to Greece, he first went to Spain to defeat the Pompeians there. Octavius actually joined Caesar in Spain to get some military seasoning. That only took 40 days. On his way back to Rome he captured Massilia (Marseilles). It wasn't until he returned from that campaign that he was named dictator for a few days until he could arrange his election as consul. Then, he took off after Pompey. He left Antony in Rome as his Master of the Horse, which essentially gave Antony the power to rule Rome in Caesar's absence.
They got the storm wrong also. Caesar crossed the Adriatic with 20,000 men, one third of his army. This alone took balls because it was winter and no one crossed the Adriatic in winter. Also, Pompey controlled the seas. On the way back to get the rest, the ships got caught in a storm and were wrecked.
Caesar, wondering where the rest of his army was, set off in a small skiff to cross back to Italy. The sailors gave up, as the weather was too bad. Soon, Mark Antony secured another fleet and crossed with the rest of his army. Had Pompey not lost his military prowess, he could have knocked off Caesar then. He also didn't follow up a victory later in the campaign.
To me, some of this stuff would have been interesting, but they have decided to turn this series into a soap opera. We got to see Atia's tatas again. We also got to see some boobage when Pullo took Octavius to the brothel to get laid on Atia's orders. Why couldn't I have had a mother like that? For the ladies there was a shot of Antony's ass. What about the size of the penis on the slave that Atia gave Servilia? Whoo boy!
"What the American people have seen is this incredible disparity in which those people who had cars and money got out and those people who were impoverished died."
-- Ted Kennedy on Hurricane Katrina
"Ditto"
-- Mary Jo Kopechne
Thanks Woody!
Warning! Since this is about a blogmeet, linking to all the people who attended is required.
Just finished up the 2nd Annual Blogtoberfest in Helen. I learned my lesson from last year when Eric forced me to drink an entire bottle of vodka. For some reason, I was unable to walk back to my room, so I crashed in Eric's room and woke up in bed with Dax. Never again! I wound up leaving early last year. This year I paced myself, and as far as I know, didn't do anything stupid, unless of course someone has me on film.
Anyway the usual suspects were there. The core group of Jawja bloggers has to be Key, Kelley and Dax. Ric and Georgia even dragged Pumpman's sorry ass up there. V-Man, Eric, and Sam have become honorary Jawja bloggers, and now we have inducted Shoe into that club.
Key, did Georgia give you my T-shirt? She said she would. Sam, didn't get my CD. Give it to me next meet. And thanks for dinner. Christina says it's up to you and Zonker to work with her and Shoe on a Texas meet.
Sam's lovely wife Barbie couldn't make it. Fortunately, Eric brought his lovely wife Fiona. Donnie came. Hadn't seen him since my first Jawja blogger meeetup in Dahlonega. Zonker was there and there are some interesting pictures of him as a mullethead. He is now a member of the core group.
Moogie showed up at her second Jawja meet. And Leslie came all the way from Chicago to join us Jawja reprobates.
Steve came. I had never, ever read his blog. Now he gets to go on the "BLOGGERS I HAVE MET IN PERSON (AND PARTIED WITH)" blogroll.
As I said earlier, I behaved myself at this event, unlike other people. There was even some drama going on that I missed. I always miss the good stuff. As Gretchen Wilson says, "I'm here for the party".
Evidently some drama went on over at the girls' cabin. I think they got that cabin on purpose to keep the cripple out. I did get up the steps twice, but after some artillery punch, there was no way I was gonna try again.
I also heard that there were some people who couldn't handle the punch. As the oldest person there, they should have taken their lead from me. Pace yourselves people.
On Saturday night a bunch of us went to eat at a restaurant called The Troll, which seems like an appropriate place for a bunch of bloggers to eat.
This is the 6th blogmeet I have attended and every one of them has been a blast. I don't think I have met anyone at these events that I didn't like. And these folks can party. I can't go past midnight anymore but some of these guys go strong most of the night.
All right! When's the next blogmeet?
This one is from Leslie. It's an old one but still funny.
In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena
Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform
the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper
thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be
in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with...
A Misdewiener!
Sent to me by many readers.
