Here's sumpin neat. Hillary drops Rodent. She is now not gonna be Hillary Rodent Clinton anymore. She's gonna be just Hillary Clinton. Must be sumpin' to do with polling data. She did the same thing back in 1992 when people thought she was trying to be one of them uppity feminist chicks.
I can still remember after the election, Jesse Jackson visited her in the White House and in an interview afterwards called her Hillary Rodman Clinton. I was trying to decide whom should be most insulted: Dennis Rodman or Hillary.
Today was a fantastic day in Beautiful Dunwoody. I got my veggie garden in last week. Today I turned on the irrigation system and checked for leaks. Everything looks great! Almost have the Great Berm of Dunwoody all ready for when Ryan and Sherry come down from South Carolina for the Great Pruning Party of 2007. We're gonna need two truckloads of pine straw and some landscape timbers to get the last raised bed up to the height of the others.
So I heard that John Murtha, over the weekend, wants to impeach the president. Bring it on fatboy. You saw how well that worked for the Republicans didn't you?
Someone told me that there was a Dimocrat Party debate last week. Unfortunately, it was on MSNBC so nobody saw it, me included. I did read that all of these Dimocrat environmentalists, who were oh so worried about our planet, all took private jets to the debate. I don't know about you, but if they are so concerned about the environment, dontcha think they could jetpool? It's the least they could do. Maybe they all bought carbon offsets. I wouldn't know since Drooling Cumspot quit e-mailing me. Dude! Save the whales!
Now the Dims seem to be all concerned about Darfur. Who gives a fuck? Do they have any oil? No. Maybe they think there are WMDs there. Dims always seem to want us to commit troops to nonstrategic areas, like Somalia. Then, when things get rough in Darfur, which they will, they'll want to cut and run just like we did in Somalia. Fktards!
I used to coach girls' softball. I always told my girls that if they put out all the effort they were are capable of; if they played as hard as they could, they would have nothing to be ashamed of. They did the best they could and they could do no better. There have been times I've tried as hard as I could, put forth my best effort, and still failed and it has really pissed me off. It shouldn't but it does. I gave it my best shot and it wasn't good enough.
Even though the Dow dropped 30 points today, this SRF© got snottier and richer today. I am richer than I have ever been. Fuck the poor. I think I'll get fucked up. Oh, wait a minute, I already am! Stoly on the rocks. Grilled chicken and fettucine al Fredo. Half a bottle of Cotes du Rhone. Actually I have one glass left that i'm saving for 24.
Ciao y'all!
This is the last one and fits my mood perfectly.
Oakland, Calif. —- A stretch of highway near the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge collapsed Sunday after a gasoline tanker crashed and burst into flames, a loss officials said could leave freeways leading to one of the nation's busiest spans in near paralysis at rush hour. Officials said traffic will be disrupted for weeks, if not months.
The only upside is this will piss off people in the Bay Area.
Witnesses reported flames rising up to 200 feet. Heat exceeded 2,750 degrees and caused the steel beams holding up the interchange from eastbound I-80 to eastbound I-580 above to buckle and bolts holding the structure together to melt, leading to the collapse, California Department of Transportation director Will Kempton said.
But I thought fire couldn't melt steel. I bet someone from the Bush administration planted some bombs to make this happen just to prove Rosie O'Piggo wrong. She could not be reached for comment.
This one is for my nephew and all of his buddies serving in Iraq.
This one is from Mo K and it is horrible. It may be one of the worst puns I have ever posted. I'm dedicating this one to Michael and Cindy's dog, Linus, who is a mix of Chihuahua and Dachshund. He's been neutered, but still tries to hump their female Dachshund, Blossom. It has to be that Mexican machismo.
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular Black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."
She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says,
"Liver alone. Cheese mine."
Barney sent me this.
How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when we move
the mouse?
Haven't you ever wondered how it works?
Now, through the miracle of high technology, we can see how it is
done. With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent.
Go here.
Hey Prosper! Did you see this?
PARIS (Reuters) - The French dislike themselves even more than the Americans dislike them, according to an opinion poll published on Friday.Mon Dieu! How can that be?
The survey of six nations, carried out for the International Herald Tribune daily and France 24 TV station, said 44 percent of French people thought badly of themselves against 38 percent of U.S. respondents who had a negative view of the French.
Only 38% of us have a negative view of France? WTF?
Only 14 percent of Germans, 25 percent of Italians, 29 percent of Spaniards and 33 percent of Britons had a negative view of the French, according to the Harris/Novatris poll, which questioned more than 1,000 people in each country.
These people need to visit Paris. That will make the numbers jump. Parisians hate everybody. They even hate other Parisians.
Looked at from another perspective, the Germans have the highest regard for their neighbors, with 73 percent saying they had a positive view of the French.
Yep! France is the country most Germans would like to invade.
Since Saturday Boobage came form Catfish, it's only fair to publish a blonde joke from him as well.
A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to
Her mother overseas. When the man told her it would cost $300, she
Exclaimed. "But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get
A message to my mother."
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would
Expect). "Anything?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.
"Well, then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
"Come in and close the door," the man said.
She did.
He then said, "Now get on your knees".
She did.
"Now take down my zipper."
She did.
"Now go ahead . Take it out...." he said.
She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .. Then paused.
The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well .. Go ahead."
The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it...and while holding it close to her lips...
Tentatively said, "Hello, Mom, can you hear me?"
Italian Boobage from Catfish.
And look! She's in the kitchen! With a cookbook! Y'all do see the cookbook, right?
I'm just not in the mood to do an AOTW this week. Instead, I'll publish a letter from a booger eatin' moh-ron that appeared in today's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Gas and oil prices need regulationWhen gasoline prices can jump 12 cents overnight at a discount gas station, there is a problem. No change in the wars in the Middle East happened overnight, there was no hurricane in the Gulf, and there was no major blizzard up North. Gas and oil need to be treated like the utilities they are, not as speculative commodities. Too many people can be hurt too much to have everything hanging on the whims of Wall Street speculators.
SYLVIA ROGERS, Roswell
Sylvia you ignorant slut! Gas and oil are commodities. They are not utilities. I guess you've never heard of the Law of Supply and Demand have you?
Right now refineries are in the process of changing from heating oil production to more gasoline production. Sorry. We don't really have enough refineries to do this seamlessly. Thank the Gaia worshippers for the fact that we haven't built a new refinery in over 30 years.
And while you're thanking the Gaia worshippers for that, thank them for the multiple blends of gasoline that we have to produce to save the fucking environment. If we could decide on a single blend for the whole country we could surely knock a few cents off the price of gas, but noooooooo. That would make too much sense.
The weather is getting warmer. Didja notice that? More people want to drive. You may have not noticed in your liberal induced daze that gas prices rise every year at this time. Someone as stupid as you probably marvels every autumn when the leaves change as if this is a new phenomenon. "Oh look at the pretty leaves. I've never seen this before!"
It happens every year!
From your writing style you appear to be about fifteen years old so you probably don't remember the last time we tried to regulate the price of gas. This was during the administration of the worst president of the 20th Century. We now know him as the addled old anti-Semitic, anti-American asshole Jimmah Carter. As with most of the polices of the Carter administration, it was a disaster. Gas shortages and gas lines. When gas is artificially cheap, demand exceeds supply and shortages occur. I'm sorry Sylvia, but that's the way the world works. You can't repeal the Law of Supply and Demand even though liberals, socialists, and communists have been trying to do it forever with absolutely no success.
D'ya know what finally happened? Reagan deregulated gas, (Ted Kennedy was totally against it. Some things never change.) people didn't like paying the high prices, they bought more fuel efficient cars, demand dropped, and amazingly enough, so did prices. Poof! PFM. Well, only to a liberal. To a conservative who actually understands some rudimentary economics it all makes perfect sense.
But, to an economic twit like you it will always be a plot by those eeeevvvvil "Wall Street speculators".
I can't make you the AOTW but I guess I can make you the Twit of the Week.
Feel guilty about your carbon footprint? Don't want to give Algore money by purchasing phony carbon offsets? Then go get them free from here.
This has been a public service announcement from good ol' GOC.
Poulson sent me this e-mail he received from a friend. I do not know if his friend wrote it or got it elsewhere. I wish I had written it.
The other night we watched a movie called, "Flags of
our Fathers." During the movie, I pointed out the
radio broadcast of "Tokyo Rose."
She had the best music on her station. During World
War II, the Japanese developed a way to demoralize
the American forces. Psychological warfare experts
developed a message they felt would work.
They gave the script to their famous broadcaster
"Tokyo Rose", and every day she would broadcast
this same message packaged in different ways. The
Japanese hoped it would have a negative impact on
American GI's morale.
What was that demoralizing message? It had three
main points:
1. Your President is lying to you.
2. This war is illegal.
3. You cannot win the war.
Does this sound familiar today?
It is because we are being bombarded by Tokyo
Hillary, Tokyo Harry, Tokyo Teddy, Tokyo Nancy,
Tokyo Murtha, etc., and they have picked up the same
message and are broadcasting it on Tokyo CNN,
Tokyo ABC, Tokyo CBS, Tokyo NBC, etc., to our troops.
The only difference is that they claim to support
our troops before they demoralize them.
Come to think of it, Tokyo Rose told the troops she
was on their side, too.
I awoke this morning to the sound of a gentle rain. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I love to sleep in the rain. The only thing that would have made it better was if it were thunderstorms.
All my life I have wanted to do this. Wake up on a weekday to rain and get to go back to sleep. I hated to get up and go to school when it was raining. Work was even worse. Atlanta traffic sucks, but when it rains it's many times worse. Forget about how badly Atlanta drivers do in snow. Rain is equally bad. All you have to do is spit on the pavement and you'll have a three car pileup.
So yeah, I rolled over and went back to sleep and pitied those poor souls battling the traffic jams on the interstates during rush hour.
I love retirement!
So Rosie O'Piggo has been fired from is leaving The View.
So let's tally things up. We have a liberal, Don Imus, and a super liberal, Rosie O'Piggo, who have both been fired for saying offensive things. Now you probably think that I'm all for Rosie leaving The View. Y'know, tit for tat. Sharpton and his minions taking out Imus and the equally loony right, as in Focus on the Family, threatening to contact advertizers to get O'Piggo removed.
Well, I'm not.
I believe in this thing called free speech. Remember the First Amendment? It's in that Constitution thingy. We now have special interest groups threatening advertizer boycotts because someone said sumpin' that offended them.
Grow a fucking skin, people!
Anyway, I wanted Rosie right where she was. I wanted The View's ratings to increase. I wanted as many people in this country as possible to see exactly what a barking moonbat looks like. Let's put Rosie in prime time! Let's get someone from Harvard or MIT to come on that show and explain to her about how fire actually can burn steel.
I'm against assaults on our right to free speech from nappy headed pimps and from holier than thou Jesus freaks.
A pox on all of 'em!
Sent to me by many readers. I especially like when he said he didn't want to be murdered by an "hysterical, self-righteous, carpet-chewing muppet with shit for brains". That was a "wish I had said that" moment.
Are your children ready to hear the talk about the Facts of Life? You know, the Birds and the Bees. Sex. If so, send 'em to see Bou. She has just had the talk with her middle child and documents it here. Mr. T. is a very bright child (as are all of her boys) and he started getting curious about horses.
I really hope she's still blogging when she discusses this with her youngest child, Bones. That will really be a hoot!
So last Wednesday, I was reading the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation and I came upon the following letter in the Readers Write section.
Founders would hate today's gun cultureWith each new incident of gun violence in this country, Americans become more fearful for their lives and safety. We lock ourselves away from each other in gated communities. We look suspiciously at each other for fear that we might be harmed. Our country as a whole is experiencing a form of post-traumatic stress syndrome in that there are epidemic cases of depression and other mental illnesses.
Our forefathers never intended the Second Amendment to be abused the way the NRA and other gun proponents have used it. They never would have written this amendment into the Constitution had they known the havoc and grief that it has caused. These were intelligent men who were reacting to the times. But times have changed.
MICHAEL DE GIVE, Atlanta
What a colossal crock of shit! Obviously this twit doesn't know a shred of history. The Second Amendment was put into the Constitution for a reason. It was to protect the citizenry from an onerous form of gummint. What is one of the first things totalitarian states do? They confiscate all guns. Look at Nazi Germany. This guy needs to read the Declaration of Independence, especially the part that goes:
That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government,
The havoc and grief? What about the havoc and grief caused by proudly announcing that Virginia Tech was a "gun free zone". Gun free zone translates into unarmed victims, which is exactly what the killer found.
If our forefathers were alive today, they would be even more in favor of the Second Amendment. What they would be shocked to see is our level of taxation. I can see Jefferson looking at Adams and saying, "We fought a war about taxation for this? Holy crap! Why do the people put up with these incredibly high taxes."
And then Adams would reply, "I know I believe in a strong central gummint, but the size and scope of this monster is ridiculous!"
James Madison: "Dude! What happened to our Constitution? We have career politicians, where we expected citizen legislators. We have a Congress passing unconstitutional laws and a judiciary not declaring these laws unconstitutional. We have parasites who feed at the gummint trough and politicians who keep them that way so they can buy their votes. We have a news media who perpetuates this corrupt gummint. Where did we go wrong?"
Nope! I don't think the Founders would want to eliminate the Second Amendment. On the contrary, they would be glad that it is in the Constitution. On the other hand, had they realized that there was gonna be a political class of career politicians, they would have put term limits in the Constitution. It's a pity they didn't.
They tried to write a constitution to protect the citizens from the gummint. Over time we are seeing the Constitution slowly being shredded by both parties. Soon it will be nothing but a worthless piece of paper.
Sheryl Crow can use it to wipe her ass. Ask Mr. Debonair.
I created a monster! I pointed Cal to the site where he could make his own motivational posters and he made a bunch of them and sent them to me.
I think we should wish the Kiwis and the Aussies a good ANZAC Day.
I had to force myself to go to Grace 1720 for the April Sommelier Guild of Atlanta function. Here are the wines and the menu.
Domaine Marc Portaz Apremont Savoie
First Flight
Pierre Ragon Quincy 2005
Albert Mann Pinot Auxerrois Vielles Vignes 2003
Tardieu-Laurent Hermitage Blanc 2000
Seared Striped Bass with Serrano Ham & Roasted Ramps
Second Flight
Dubeouf Julienas Prestige 2003
Dubeouf Fleurie Quatra Vents 2003
Dubeouf Moulin a Vent Domaine des Rosiers 2005
Cumin Scented Duck Breast & Crispy Fried Potato Cake Salsa
Third Flight
Domaine du Gros Nore Bandol 1999
Domaine Tempier Bandol Cuvee Special La Tourtine 2001
Calvet Thenvin Les Dentelles 2004
Australian Lamb Loin & Reggiano Crusted Green Tomato, Sweet Tomato Jam
Dessert Wine
Domaine Deletang Mont Louis Moelleux Gran Reserve 1996
Elisson who is a SRF© and is a fellow member of the Guild was there as well and brought a guest, Houston Steve, a prospective member. We had a great time. The food was delicious, and once again, I made it home safe and sound.
Sometimes it's really hard to be me.
Ran across this article in the business section of the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Washington —- The House passed legislation Friday aimed at restraining compensation for corporate executives by letting shareholders take an annual advisory vote on their pay.
What a great idea! Can we extend it to Congress?
Shareholder advocates believe that "say on pay" votes would discourage boards of directors from approving lavish compensation packages for top executives.
Fine. Let's go after the lavish compensation packages for our "public servants". Jesus H. Christ! I'll bet 1/3 of our elected officials are crooks and that includes both Republicans and Dimocrats except news stories about crooked politicians often omit the fact that they're Dimocrats or bury it in the story. If it's a Republican, it's in the first paragraph. But I digress.
"The CEOs don't own the company," Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), the bill's chief sponsor, said during the debate. "The shareholders own the company" and deserve an opportunity to speak out on management's pay, he said.
Congresscritters don't own the country. Taxpayers do and they deserve an oportunity to speak on on our management's pay.
These guys give themselves a pay raise every other year. Why can't we vote for that like they want shareholders to vote for CEO's pay? At least CEO's make money for their companies. Our politicians waste our money. We ought to make 'em work for free. Let 'em live on their bribes and kickbacks.
Talk about benefits. Have you seen the retirement packages these assholes give themselves? Can we vote on that? Howza 'bout their medical benefits?
These bozos really have some nerve criticizing CEO pay when they are the most overpaid bunch of buttheads in this country. Some of them are even traitors. We call them Dimocrats.
Limit CEO pay? Let's limit congressional pay. Bastards!
This one is from Rob Cooper.
There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone."
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!
What is the moral of this story?
You can't kill two birds with one stone!!!
Another one from Cal. This goes along with my Saturday guitar stuff.
One of all time favorite guitarists is Steve Howe of Yes and Asia. Not only is he good on electric guitar, but he plays a mean acoustic guitar as well. I was trying to decide whether to post The Clap or Mood for a Day. I found a YouTube video with both of them. I've seen him play both of these live. I envy him is long skinny fingers. Hey CD! Check out the fingerpicking on Mood for a Day.
From Islaswolf.
The Blonde Kidnapper
A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote a note
"I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM."
Signed, "The Blonde."
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed inside the bag with the cash was the following note....
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."
This week's Saturday Boobage came from Rich. He sent me three pictures of the same lady and I couldn't decide whether to post the first one or the third one so I decided to post 'em both. I'm in a good mood because so far this has been the best month for site hits ever. Thank you readers! Enjoy!
Someone asked where the motivational posters came from. There is a site where you can make your own. Here is Cal's first one.
Oh man! What a target rich environment! In fact, the one I was gonna use will have to wait until next week.
First up, we have Elizabeth Edwards and her remarks about her new neighbor. Why is Elizabeth Edwards like a Moo-slime? Because she moves into a new neighborhood and wants the new neighbors to conform to her standards. Monty Johnson was there first! My fellow Blown-Eye, Donnie, has the lowdown.
Also, let's not forget her husband, John, the "man of the people" with the huge mansion and the $400 haircuts. And all of a sudden, he wants to emulate Gore on Global Warming, and like Gore, he will waste incredible amounts of energy in his mansion.
And then we have Governor Corzine whose SUV was going 91 mph in the rain and the Guv didn't have his seat belt on when the crash happened. Think he got a ticket? Here's a tasteless joke that Dick sent me. McGreevey was a much stronger Governor than Corzine. He was rear-ended hundreds of times and never broke a bone.
Let's see. Who else do we have? Oh yeah. Noted liberal Dimocrat Alec Baldwin. Now this guy is an asshole of the highest order. Kim Basinger divorced him because she was tired of him beating her up. Now he left her a message on her answering machine. Nice dad. Doesn't even know his daughter's age. And this is a guy who called Cheney a sociopath?
a family law judge was so alarmed after hearing the tape, she has temporarily barred Baldwin from having any contact with his child.
It should be permanent. What an idiot!
But the Edwards' and Baldwin don't get the coveted award this week. This week it goes to Harry Reid who has announced our surrender to al Qaeda.
"Now I believe, myself, that the secretary of state, the secretary of defense and you have to make your own decision as to what the president knows: that this war is lost, that the surge is not accomplishing anything," Reid, D-Nev., told reporters.
Thanks Nevada for sending this asshole to the Senate. If only the Dimocrats believed in fighting our enemies as much as they believe in fighting Republicans.
Way to go Harry! You beat out some real good contenders for this award. Here it is asshole!
A quickie from Med1616.
Chelsea Clinton ask an American soldier who he feared: His answer was Osama, Obama, and Yo Mama.
Did y'all realize that today is Patriots Day in Boston? Actually Monday was the holiday but today, April 19, is Patriots Day.
Now let's just think a bit. How would John Adams feel about Ted Kennedy? True, John Adams was a Federalist, which means he believed in a strong federal gummint, but I think even Adams would be surprised at the size of the gummint today.
How would Sam Adams feel about Barney Frank?
For that matter, how would all the Revolutionary War patriots feel about Boston and Taxachusetts today? The Boston Tea Party was a protest over a pithy tax. What do you think they would make about the taxes we pay now? Unfortunately, they would not be able to find enough people to stage the Boston Tea Party. And dressing up like Indians? How politically incorrect that would be.
Bunker Hill. Don't give up until you see the whites of their eyes.
Paul Revere. Ride off and tell everyone which way the British are coming so we know when to surrender.
Lexington and Concord. Shot heard round the world? Don't make me puke! Would they even have any guns today? The people in Taxachusetts wouldn't fight anyone today. They're all pussies!
High taxes. Surrender. Anti-American bullshit. Hating the current president more than they hate our enemies?
Patriots Day in Boston. Can they have a Patriots Day with no patriots? What a joke! Unfortunately, it's not funny.
Maybe they should change it to Pussies Day.
My over the hill buddy V-Man has been posting old videos of bygone rockers so I decided I'd post a video of a rock group from the early 70's who have reformed (minus their lead singer, Rusty Day, who was killed in a bad drug deal). I saw these guys in 1971 when they opened for Rod Stewart and The Faces and they kicked ass.
How many guys do you know who play a six string bass?
Here's Howling Wolf. That's where they got it from.
Here's some good news.
MINNEAPOLIS — Taxi drivers who refuse service to travelers carrying alcohol at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport face tougher penalties despite protests from Muslim cabbies who sought a compromise for religious reasons, officials said Monday.
Fuck you, your conpromise, and your religious reasons and the camel you rode in under. Your idea of a compromise is we do things your way.
The Metropolitan Airports Commission said new penalties were needed to ensure customers get safe and reliable taxi service, and voted to suspend a driver's airport taxi license for 30 days for the first offense and revoke it for two years for a second offense. The new penalties take effect May 11.
As far as I'm concerned, it should be revoked permanently on the first offense. And what's this May 11 bullshit? That's almost a month from now. Why not tomorrow?
Airport officials say more than 70 percent of the cabbies at the airport are Muslim, and many of them say Islamic law forbids them from giving rides to people carrying alcohol.
Well American law says that you can't do that. If you fuckheads have a problem with that maybe you should find another line of work or another country to do it in. Why not France? They let Moo-slimes push them around. Hell! They let everyone push them around.
Under the old rules, a driver who refused to transport someone carrying alcohol would be told to go to the back of the taxicab line. Airport officials said that since January 2002, there have been more than 4,800 instances of drivers' refusing to take alcohol-carrying travelers.
4800! That bullshit should have been stopped after the first offense!
Some Somalis who testified Monday urged commissioners to reject the new penalties and find some other solution.
I've got a solution! Why don't you dipsticks go back to Somalia? That solution works for me.
"We see this as a penalty against a group of Americans only for practicing their faith," said Hassan Mohamud, an imam and an adjunct professor at William Mitchell College of Law.
No dipshit! This is a group of assholes trying to force their religion on us. I'm really getting sick of buttwipes like you coming here from Somalia and Shitholestan and trying to force your customs on us. One of the reasons Somalia is such a shithole is because of Islam (Murdering infidels since the 7th Century.). You come here for a better life and then you try to institute the customs that fucked up your country. Jesus H. Christ! You people really piss me off! If this is a problem for you, get the fuck out of this country and go back to the shitholes you came from.
Now, can we fire the Moo-slime checkers at Target who refuse to scan bacon?
Josh pointed out to me what you get if you Google "Ted Kennedy is a fat pompous asshole".
Cal sent me an e-mail that he had Gizoolged "aramalamadingdong" and got this.
Thanks guys!
Wouldn't it be luverly?
From Islaswolf.
Now that Dick Cheney and Ann Coulter are back in control wouldn't it be nice if they went ahead and nuked the Middle Eastern country just on principle?
The only other thing I have to say is I'm glad that Jack went rogue again. That's when 24 gets good. Not only does he have to fight the bad guys but he also gets to take on the good guys as well. Didja like it when he told Ricky Freaking Schroder that he'd already killed one partner today? I did. Jack doesn't even have to kill his partners. All one has to do is hang out with Jack and he's bound to get whacked sooner or later.
Since today is Wealth Confiscation Tax Day in the United States, I thought I would post this explanation of our tax code that has been sent to me by many readers.
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until on day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20."Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men --- the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too.
It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
In the real world of "Bush" tax cuts the advantage to the rich is even less than the above example. The government never cuts the bar tab or the tax bill by 20% and the rich saw the top tax bracket drop from 39% to 37% resulting in a 5% savings or about $3 not the $10 in the bar example. Likewise the lowest income bar patrons DID get plenty. They got an increase in the earned income child care credit from $600 to $1000 even though they pay zero taxes. Those in the lowest tax paying bracket saw the rate drop from 15% to 10 % resulting in a 33% reduction in taxes. But if you are a Journalist, this does not fit the liberal media template, so the headline reads "BUSH TAX CUT FAVOR THE RICH"!!
Now back to me. Another way the LSM demonizes the eeevil rich is in talking about their tax refunds. For example, last year Dick Cheney got a big refund. Teresa Big Boobs, who used to comment on this site, went ballistic. How could Cheney get such a huge refund? It's unfair. Now I and several readers tried to explain to her that the reason he got such a huge refund was because he had overpaid his taxes. Now Teresa is a liberal. No matter how we tried to explain this to her she still clung to her beliefs that Cheney's tax refund was unfair. And that's just what the LSM was trying to do. In the headline was the amount of his tax refund. Far down in the story was how much he actually paid, and it was a signifucant amount.
Here's the deal. Americans are stupid when it comes to taxes. Boortz usually writes about this on Gummint bloodsucking Tax Day. Ask the average American how much he pays in taxes and the reply will usually be, "I didn't pay anything. I got money back."
And that's the beauty of the withholding system. Americans don't
realize how much they actually pay. The withholding system was a "temporary" system to help fund WWII. As with most "temporary" gummint programs, it somehow became permanent. See the telephone tax to fund the Spanish American War that was finally stopped this year.
Because I'm a SRF© with investment income, I have to play quarterly estimated taxes. Here's what pisses me off. If I underestimate my taxes by a certain amount and have to write a check to the gummint on You're Fucked Tax Day, there is a good chance I will have to pay a penalty for not giving the gummint enough money during the year. If I overestimate, they don't give me interest on the loan I give them. Assholes!
Oh. And one more thing. You know how all those liberals want to withhold the part of their taxes that go to the military because they're anti-war? Fine. I'm anti-welfare. Can I withhold the part of my taxes that go to support parasites? I didn't think so.
Update: Here is a story about Cheney's refund last year. You may notice that nowhere in the article does it say how much the Cheney's actually paid in taxes. After all, this is National Proletariat Radio. Biased media? Nah. Maybe Andrea Seabrook is just an idiot. You can also tell who the liberal commenters are since they sound exactly like Teresa Big Boobs.
By the way, I'll be willing to bet the Cheney's gave more to charity than the Clintons, the Gores, The Edwards, Ted Kennedy, and the Kerrys. It turns out that the red states are far more charitable with their own money than the blue states. The blue states are charitable with other people's money.
20 million illegal aliens are depending on you. Muchas gracias!
Sent by many readers.
Bill Clinton said that peace between Syria and Israel could be achieved in the time it took Monica to give him a blowjob 35 minutes.
A peace agreement between Israel and Syria could be reached within 35 minutes, former U.S. president Bill Clinton told the Lebanon-based Asharq Al-Awsat newspaper in an interview published Sunday.Clinton said Israel and Syria were very close to reaching an agreement in 1998, adding that an accord could be reached assuming Iran does not play a role in the issue.
Let's see. Who was president in 1998? What a shame he couldn't have fit that into his busy schedule in the remaining two years that he was president. Must have had more important things to do. "No, Monica! Suck! Blow is just a figure of speech!"
The Clinton bullshit machine never stops.
Can you believe this guy has a daughter who is now an NFL cheerleader?
Fortunately, she got her mother's looks and not V-man's. And V-man is now 50 and Jimbo put up this post just for him.
Speaking of looks, Elisson took a halfway decent picture of me last night.
I'm still on the Imus thing. I am really getting sick of this perpetual victimhood we have in this society. Is victimhood a real word? Jesus H. Christ! Pretty soon it will be unsafe to say anything. Remember the two black dingbats on a Southwestern Airlines flight who sued because a flight attendant said "Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; pick a seat, we gotta go."? One of them said she was bedridden for three days because she was so traumatized. GMAFB! Fortunately, they lost their lawsuit.
WTF has happened here? Whatever happened to "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"? I had to start wearing glasses in the second grade and immediately was called four eyes. That really upset me, but my mon told me about sticks and stones. I heard that many times growing up.
I was branded a snotty rich fuck and a sanctimonious fucking asshole by a blogger named Jane, who has since crawled under a rock. Did I cry about that? Hell no! I like those names so much that I use them consistently on this blog. In fact I'm thinking of getting customized license plates for my cars. On one, I'll have GOC. On another I'll have SRF. On the last one I'll have SFA. They're just names! I've stated in the rules of this blog that if you want to insult me please make it an original or amusing insult.
Here's how you handle someone who insults you.
Make a joke out of it. Make the guy who made the insult look like an idiot. With Flipper that isn't too hard. Just like my old CDSM©, he does all the work. We just point it out. I actually posted a YouTube video of Imus telling Kerry to "stop it" as he tried to get out of his gaffe. Imus should have followed his own advice. He should have apologized to the girls and not gone on his groveling tour. How disgraceful it was to see him kiss Al Sharpton's ass!
So now we have these poor traumatized Rutgers girls. It is so horrible! It has scarred them for life! Let me just say that if this is the worst thing that will happen to these women they're gonna have a pretty good life.
So what did they learn? They learned they were victims. What a great thing to learn! Here's what they should have learned: Don Imus is an asshole and we don't give a flying fuck what he says about us. Jesse and Al butt out! We aren't victims. We are winners. We are the number two women's basketball team in the country. Had I been the coach, I would have had T-shirts made that had "nappy headed ho" on them and then given one to every player on the team. Then, I would have taken a picture of the team in their T-shirts with a banner that said, "Hey Imus! GFY! From the Nappy Headed Hos". Teach them that they shouldn't give a fuck about what a 66 year old white asshole says about them.
Develop a sense of humor. Make a joke out of it. Don't be a pitiful victim. These women are not little girls. They are women. They are winners. They are not victims.
Alas, that is now what the country thinks of them. They are poor pitiful victims of racism. Boo fucking hoo! What a wonderful lesson they have learned.
This guy has submitted many puns so I decided to publish one of them.
I have recently developed a number of fears and phobias, the biggest
one is where I get wrapped up in a sausage skin. Of course that's the
Wurst Case Scenario.
These came from Jeremy.
What is the diffrence between a pitbull and a blonde with PMS?
Lipstick.
What is the diffrence between blondes and sheep?
Sheep don't fake orgasms.
What is the diffrence between blond men and blonde women?
The blonde women have the higher sperm count.
What is the diffrence between blondes and redheads?
A blonde is simply a redhead who has had the fire fucked out of her.
I know you are all expecting it to be a joint award for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, the two roaming reverends without any churches to call home. You're wrong. They are permanent assholes. Nope. I'm giving it to Don Imus. It's not for what he said about the Rutgers girls' basketball team. Yep! That was in poor taste. I mean this is some 66 year old cracker for chrissakes. Who does he think he is? A rap star? He should be arrested for plagiarism by the rap police.
He's lucky he didn't have to pay royalties.
Nope. I think he was an asshole for groveling to the likes of that RWPP Al Sharpton. That only made matters worse and allowed Al and his partner in crime the "Reverend" Jesse "I have a scheme" Jackson to get more microphone time. He should have apologized to the Rutgers women and that should have been it. Appearing on Sharpton's radio program only legitimized Sharpton and his racebaiting.
So now he's been fired. I'll bet Imus has done more good for others with his SIDS's radiothon and his Imus Ranch than Sharpton and Jackson have done in their entire "careers".
Yep Imus. You fucked up with the "nappy headed hos" remark, but you did even more damage by kowtowing to Pimp Al and Pimp Jesse. You'll probably now get a program on Sirius or XM.
Until then, be satisfied with my AOTW award.
Stolen from Gateway Pundit. Captured also is Hillary's bigotry.
For my Canadian readers. Thanks Barney.
I love capitalism!
Thanks to vetfromhell. Now what we need to see is someone Photoshopping Al and Jesse in T-shirts that have RRPP on them or maybe just Jesse with Nappy Headed Pimp.
The best thing about this Imus kerfuffle is it knocked Anna Nichole Smith off the front pages. The worst thing? Imus just got fired by CBS. Why? Because of the RWPPs, the two Revs, Jesse and Al. Oh, and liberal white guilt which Jesse and Al are so good at using. Now that Imus has been fired, maybe they'll STFU. Yeah. Like that's gonna happen. They've got a scalp and like the sharks they are they're looking for more. I'm really getting sick of these assholes.
As long as Imus has been fired he may as well tell everyone to just go fuck off and move to his ranch. That's what I would do. And on my way out, I'd tell everyone what I thought of those phony bastards Jesse and Al. I'd bring up Jesse's out of wedlock child. I'd wonder how he ever got so rich when he's never had a job. As for Al, I'd bring up Tawana Brawley, the Crown Heights riots, and Freddy's Fashion Mart. Imus' words never caused any deaths like Al's did. In fact, I'd try to get back on Al's radio show and bring those topics up.
Vetfromhell linked to this in the comments on another post:
It came from here.
Y'know this double standard shit is really pissing me off. How come black people, like Jesse and Al, are not held accountable for their racist remarks? They spew hatred and they get a pass. Or what about when liberals make racist remarks about Clarence Thomas, Colin Powell, Michael Steele, and Condi Rice? I remember a few editorial cartoons about Condi Rice that crossed the line. I don't remember any of those cartoonists getting fired.
Do I think Imus should have been fired? Nope. Just like I don't think Rosie O'Pigo should be fired from The View. I like it when we have loony Dimocrats on the air for everyone to see.
Now here's a black guy who makes sense.
Thank you, Don Imus. You’ve given us (black people) an excuse to avoid our real problem.You’ve given Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson another opportunity to pretend that the old fight, which is now the safe and lucrative fight, is still the most important fight in our push for true economic and social equality.
You’ve given Vivian Stringer and Rutgers the chance to hold a nationally televised recruiting celebration expertly disguised as a news conference to respond to your poor attempt at humor.
Thank you, Don Imus. You extended Black History Month to April, and we can once again wallow in victimhood, protest like it’s 1965 and delude ourselves into believing that fixing your hatred is more necessary than eradicating our self-hatred.
The bigots win again.
Exactly. Read the whole thing. Here's his finish.
No. We all know where the real battleground is. We know that the gangsta rappers and their followers in the athletic world have far bigger platforms to negatively define us than some old white man with a bad radio show. There’s no money and lots of danger in that battle, so Jesse and Al are going to sit it out.
After all, if all the black problems went away, Jesse and Al would be out of their race baiting jobs. They don't want to solve the real problems in the black community. They make too much money by being RWPPs. Pimping has been good for both of them.
Fucking assholes!
Poulson sent me some motivational posters.
How did I miss this? I'm glad Coach TC caught it.
The Cynthia A. McKinney "Debt Retirement Campaign," which hopes to recover costs of the outspoken Georgia Democrat's unsuccessful 2006 re-election campaign, has a "McKinney for Congress" T-shirt with your name -- and hers -- on it. Price: $100 each.
Oh yeah! Those will be big sellers. Gimme two of them.
"We have a small inventory of authentic campaign memorabilia left over," explains the former congresswoman's campaign store. "There are less than three dozen new, never-been-used T-shirts left. They have been signed by Cynthia. Hang a piece of history on your study wall. Proudly wear your support on your sleeve. Let the world, or at least your dinner guests, know you support a politician with backbone."
Yep! I'm gonna host a dinner with a picture of a nappy headed moonbat on my T-shirt.
I might buy a Cynthia McCommie T-shirt if it had this piture on it.
V-Man turns the big Five Oh today. Of course Elisson penned a poem in his honor.
Here's the deal. No one told Imus the rules.
Got the cartoon from Darrell.
Maybe this would be more than a tempest in a teapot if the black community were not the ones who were the most chronic users of the words "nigger" and "ho". Just listen to your average rap crap. What a crock of shit this is. I repeat. Imus, tell these assholes to fuck off. Now I hear that Hillary "fucking Jew bastard" Rodent Clinton has weighed in.
"Don Imus’ comments about them were nothing more than small-minded bigotry and coarse sexism. They showed a disregard for basic decency and were disrespectful and degrading to African-Americans and women everywhere.”
This from a woman who is married to a man who really knows how to degrade women. Bill "You better put some ice on that" Clinton.
MSNBC has caved and fired Imus. Does anyone even watch MSNBC? If someone gets fired from a network that no one watches does it really matter?
Dear Imus:
Quit groveling. Jesus H. Christ! It's getting sickening, especially when you went to grovel at the feet of that racist, anti-Semitic, bigoted, RWPP Al "Tawana Brawley" Sharpton. Has Al apologized for Tawana Brawley? No! Has Al paid the judgement levied against him when Steve Pagones sued for defamation of character and won the case? I don't think so. If it was ever paid someone else did it since Al claimed he didn't have any money.
And then there's the other racist, anti-Semitic, bigoted, RWPP Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson. Isn't is about time that he retire? Wait a minute. how can he retire? He doesn't have a job, but somehow he became a millionaire. MLK had a dream, Jesse had a scheme. Shaking down large corporations really works.
Jesse and Al are both calling for Imus' scalp. Imus, you're 66 years old and look like shit. Why are you still working? I know that you blew a lot of money up your nose in your younger days, but you've been clean for years. You got your ranch. Dontcha have a place in Connecticut and an apartment in New York? Do you still need to work? Why don't you tell the world to fuck off?
Yeah, what you said was stupid, but it doesn't require you to grovel at the feet of Al and Jesse. You are pitiful!
Speaking of Jesse, I just heard that all the charges against the Duke lacrosse players have been dropped. This was Jesse's Tawana Brawley moment. He inserted himself in this fiasco and it turns out that the "victim" made it all up. Go figger. I wonder if Jesse is still gonna provide a scholarship to the lying bitch? I think Nifong should be brought up on ethics charges. I wonder what party Nifong belongs to?
Imus, since Al and Jesse are both preachers why dontcha tell them to look up in the Bible and read the part where Jesus said, "Let him that is without sin, throw the first stone." They are every bit as bigoted as you are. Probably more so.
Quit groveling and STFU! It is disgusting to watch.
Now I know why those Brits confessed. It was the Spanish Inquisition!
Bacon. It's not just for breakfast! It's now a hate crime.
Got the link from Gates of Vienna.
Now it's off to the gym to work out with a smile on my face.
The truth is out!
From Charles. And a bonus Pelosi joke from Islaswolf.
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to ask them what happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector, "The first body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."
"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, age 66, struck by lightning."
"Why is she smiling then?", inquires the Inspector.
"She thought she was having her picture taken!"
Was this how the British Royal Marines and the British sailors were trained? If so that explains a lot.
Now 24 is ripping off the Die Hard movies. Didja see Jack wrap the chain around the Moo-slime bad guy last night? Straight from Die Hard, but, unlike Bruce, Jack killed his dude. It didn't kill Karl, the ballet dancer turned actor in Die Hard. And when he did kill the Moo-slime, Jack ripped off Die Hard With a Vengeance when he said, "Say hello to your brother." At least he didn't rip off this.
Hey, Wayne was just bluffing when he launched the cruise missile. Whoda thunk it?
I got a kick out of Jack telling Ricky Freaking Shroder to knock it off when he was gonna pull a Jack on Fayed. "Listen up little Lord Fauntleroy! I'm the only dude who gets to torture the bad guys on this show. It says so right here in my contract."
Seems to me I wrote a while back that I thought Audrey was still alive. Since Kim Raver's show got canceled she was available to come back on 24. Sorry Marilyn. Unless Audrey gets killed, you ain't gonna get laid this season. What next? Are they gonna bring Spawn back again? Is Elisha Cuthbert available? If they do, make sure she wears sumpin' low cut. She has the best boobage of any of the women who have appeared on 24. But unlike Mandy, she always wears a bra.
24 is really a multicultural show this year. We got Arabs, Russians, and now Chinese villains. Jack will get to kill the evil Chinese dude. Count on it. Payback is a bitch.
Whatever happened to Jack's father?
Iranian president, Mahmud Aramalamadingdong designated Monday as Iranian Nuke Day. I'm really upset that we didn't send him a present like a cruise missile or two. Howsa 'bout a "Here's A Nuke For Nuke Day"? We can send it with belated greetings. I'm down with that.
There was a time that it was said that the sun never set on the British Empire. The Brits were on the decline in WWII, but they were still fighters and had Winston Churchill as a leader. Later they had Margaret Thatcher who had bigger balls that Tony Blair. Alas, the sun has finally set. Here's the latest from Ron.
"This England never did, nor never shall, Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror."
(The operative word there being Lie)
Arthur Pendragon, Alfred the Great, the Bard of Avon, Good Queen Bess, Sir Winston … all the staunch defenders of "This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England" (Richard II, II, i), their earthly bodies long since turned to dust by time and nature, now see their revered memories turned to rubbish by apathy, complacency, appeasement, fear, and political correctness.
The last vestiges of Brittanic spine, starch, propriety, perseverance, that stiff-upper-lip mettle that withstood Dunquerque, The Blitz, and Cold War showdowns, ignominiously drowned in Arabian waters recently as 15 UK troops were kidnapped without resistance by Persian thugs and humiliated in the international media. The speed of their capitulation, the absence of backup from their own support system, and the weakness of their government in dealing with the situation are completely grotesque compared to what their grandfathers would have done and would be hideous in their eyes.
Such complete lack of esprit-de-corps and self-discipline appears to be, as some have said, the beginning of the end of British resistance to terrorism and intimidation. The unwillingness of individual military members, theater commanders, and central government to do anything which might "precipitate an international incident" (read "hurt some Muslims’ feelings") has driven a wedge between the US and UK on how the WOT should be conducted.
At the bottom line, only Australia and the United States remain convinced that Western culture is under constant attack by a fierce and inimical mindset whose ultimate goal is either complete submission by or elimination of our way of life and our freedoms. Europe no longer has the will to resist the insidious takeover by the insect-like spread of Islam. Its faith in Christianity has been eroding for decades, and its citizens have become indigent, self-absorbed, timid, unrepentant socialist dilettantes, completely unequipped and unwilling to confront the more demanding and aggressive Muslims.
Saudi Arabia has not for a moment reduced its brainwashing barrage on Arab children through its Madrassas while simultaneously spending large sums of petrodollars on propaganda materials to convince Europe and the US of its friendly intentions toward Western nations. To convince Afghani and Pakistani warlords of the value of democratically elected central governments would be as difficult as changing the national language of Japan to Chinese.
Ignorant, narrow-minded fanatics from all corners of Islamdom have gathered like vermin in Iraq and Lebanon to wreak havoc with the West’s efforts to weaken terrorism. Thousands upon thousands of "innocent" and "moderate" citizens have died in brutal bombings and savage shootings for no other reason than the spite and pique of misled and exploited young men ordered by their "religious" leaders to throw hissyfits.
And now a sinister renegade state has victimized and divorced the weaker sister from the US/UK alliance, clearly demonstrating that no deterrent to piracy exists in its immediate sphere of influence, that it can with impunity challenge or ignore suggestions, resolutions, or mandates from anyone. Iran’s goal of becoming a carbuncle on the private parts of the free world lurched dangerously forward with its overt maritime challenge to the nation which not long ago proudly proclaimed itself ruler of the waves.
Most of the problem is a direct result of President Carter’s inept management of the earlier hostage crisis, along with Clinton’s total aversion to dealing directly with bombings of our embassies, skyscrapers, and ships. As Europe quavered in fear of Muslim reprisals, only Britain stood by the US in the attempt to thwart the terrorists’ plans on their own lands instead of on ours. But now Britain has shown that it prefers to be cordial rather than courageous, to appease rather than oppose, to demur rather than deter.
So we’re basically on our own now, a quasi-Christian nation of 300 million, less than half of which go to any church at all, to defend against over a billion fanatical followers of a pedophiliac prophet who believe the world would be a much better place if we weren’t in it. We won’t have allies in this conflict, not even supporters, only hand-wringing, tongue-clucking spectators. Our European cousins have abandoned not only their own defense, but the very idea of their national existence. Except for the Muslim communities within them, virtually no European nations have birth rates which will ensure their continued traditional existence.
That leaves only the US for all practical purposes. And what do we have here? Well, we apparently have very short memories, for one thing. Some refuse to believe that Muslim terrorists were even responsible for the bombing of the Towers. And among those who will believe it, the number is growing which says that we asked for it, we had it coming. We also have a reluctance to finish what we’ve started. And we clearly have no stomach for adversity. Only around a third of the general populace and under half of Congress believe we have any chance of success in the Middle East. The nation is as divided and rudderless as it was forty years ago during a similar crisis of faith in leadership.
The mantra today amongst many of our social and congressional leaders is one of complacency and appeasement, apparently based on the belief that the fundamentalist fanatics would leave us alone if we left them alone. Many like to believe in the ultimate goodness of humankind, that people are just people no matter where they live or what religion or lifestyle they follow. People such as Nancy Pelosi simply don’t accept or have forgotten that many truly evil people live on this planet with us. And if someone does somehow convince them of a rogue element’s monstrous, corrupt, and barbarous intentions, they somehow delude themselves into believing that divine intervention will occur, and we’ll all sit down with a nice cup of tea and work out our differences in the spirit of good fellowship.
Actually, I’m glad such optimistic people exist. I’m glad that many of the people with whom I share this world prefer being nice to being cynical and distant. But at the same time, I think living in a world populated entirely by such types would be unbearably tedious and boring. A world become all politically correct would not allow for confrontations, and eventually no differences of opinion. Never would a reason exist to defend one’s position. The ego would never be put in a situation where it might be bruised, and the minds of the people would atrophy like a disused muscle.
Even worse, when that mindset takes over, progress is choked, initiative is stifled, creativity is stillborn. Complacency, appeasement, cowardice, and political correctness are the flat tires on the all-terrain vehicle of growth. Without controversy, without conflict, without challenge, nothing happens except through serendipity . . . or divine intervention. That’s why the construction and daily routine of anthills haven’t changed much in the past 100 million years.
Thanks Ron. Our mother county has turned into a nation of wimps. If the Dimocrat party has its way, we will do the same.
These would have been my Monday Puns had I received them early enough.
Easter Bunny Jokes
Q. What does it mean when the Easter Bunny
arrives one day late with melted candy?
A. He probably had a bad hare day.
Q. How does a rabbit make gold soup?
A. He begins with 24 carrots.
Q. What do you get when you pour boiling hot
water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
Q. What does it mean when you see thirty
rabbits in a row and they are all marching
backwards?
A. What you have is a receding hareline.
Q. What can rabbits have that no other
animal can have?
A. Baby rabbits.
Q. Which side of a rabbit has the most fur?
A. The outside.
Q. What is the difference between a new-age
rabbit that is preparing for the future and one
that is getting ready for dinner?
A. The first rabbit will visualize world peace.
The second rabbit will visualize whirled peas.
Q. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
A. Unique Up On It.
Q. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
A. Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
John Hawkins took a poll of rightwing bloggers. I was one of the bloggers.
Another one from Richard.
A long time ago, there was a beehive in the middle of a forest. Every day, worker bees went to the fields, gathered pollen, and brought it back to make honey. The bees had a problem, though. Occasionally, an intruder came around, such as a bear who wanted the honey, or kids who threw rocks at the hive. Finally, the bees got tired of it. They built an alarm system for the hive. A bee could pull a lever, which triggered the alarm. The bees could come back to protect their home. One bee was exclusively assigned that job. He was named the "Lever Bee." He had to be constantly on the alert. And that's why people say,
"I'm as ready as a Lever Bee."
I drove over to Columbia South Carolina yesterday to mooch an Easter dinner off of my sister. How neat is it that Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, a nice Jewish boy, by eating ham?
Woke up this morning and the temperature was 27 degrees. Damn that Algore and his global warming! This is the coldest April Easter in 57 years.
V-Man has posted a story about the Senator. You ought to hear him tell these stories in person. He should write a book about his father.
Russian Intelligence claimed that we were gonna attack Iran on Good Friday. Too bad we didn't. Aim a couple of cruise missiles at their only refinery and stop any gas from being shipped in and watch their economy crumble. See how their population like walking everywhere. It would have been nice to say Happy Easter dirtbags.
I was down for a while today. My hosting service told me it was because I was using too many resources and they had to move me to another server. It must have been all of the French trolls trying to pretend how brave their country is and how the United States had nothing to do with ending WWI and WWII. Too bad that they weren't as persistent in WWI and WWII. Then we wouldn't have had to bail them out back then.
Mike sent me the following video.
This guy plays the same transcription that I play. I learned it from this book. I have made a few changes. I use arpeggios during the choral part and I like to do a hammer on on the high C notes. I play it on a steel string acoustic. I don't have a classical guitar. Attendees of blodgmeets have heard me play it. I can only play it when I'm sober.
Mo K (who, as you can see,is a blonde) sent me this one for Easter.
Three blondes died and found themselves standing
before St. Peter. He told them that before they
could enter the Kingdom, they
Had to tell him what Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a
holiday where they have a big
Feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Blondes!" and went on to
the second one.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we
celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Wrong!!" and went to the
third blonde.
The third blonde said she knew what Easter
was and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday
that coincides with the
Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was
having Passover feast with His
Disciples when he was betrayed by Judas,
and the Romans arrested
him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and He
died. Then they buried Him
in a tomb behind a very large boulder.
St. Peter said, "Finally! Verrrrry good!"
The blonde continued, "Now every year the
Jews roll away the
boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees
his shadow, we have six
more weeks of basketball."
This week's winner of the coveted Asshole of the Week award goes to a French asswipe. He commented on this post. Unfortunately, comments had closed when he posted it, but it went into my approval queue so I thought I would share it with y'all.
AMERICANS. WHAT ARE AMERICANS? AMERINDIANS FOR SURE. THE CURRENT ONES ARE A BUNCH OF DEGENERATE EUROPEAN MONGRELS, MURDERERS OF INDIAN NATIVE AMERICAN PEOPLE.A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED,IGNORANT,BRAINWASHED BIGGOTS UNABLE TO LOCATE EUROPE OR ASIA ON A WORLD MAP.INCULT REDNECKS UNDER THE DOMINATION OF THE ZIONIST GANG OF WASHINGTON.THE TRASH OF MANKIND.
Whoa dude! Lighten up! First. I guess it's time, once again, that I break out this graphic that I stole from this guy.
Yep! But we had to save your asses twice in the 20th Century, once in WWI and then in WWII. Do you speak German? No? You're welcome. Then after saving your asses twice, we spent money to rebuild your country. Not bad for a bunch of "A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED,IGNORANT,BRAINWASHED BIGGOTS UNABLE TO LOCATE EUROPE OR ASIA ON A WORLD MAP."
We have a better economy than you do. We are richer than you are. And we bathe on a regular basis. We have not surrendered to Moo-slimes yet. How's that Airbus 380 program coming along. Cancelled orders? Cost overruns? Production delays? No shit? Boeing's doing great. Those airlines cancelling the A-380 are ordering Boeing 787's.
Y'know, France did just set the landspeed record for a bullet train. That means they can go from Paris to Berlin in two hours. Have you seen the French Army knife?
Thanks to unix-jedi for that.
Anyway, gcav@wanadoo.fr, you are the Asshole of the Week. Congratulations! Here's your prize.
Since Friday is AOTW time here's a little visual quiz. Four of these are Republicans. One is a Dimocrat. Can you find the Dimocrat?
Sent to me by many readers.
I got tagged with this by Jack:
This originated here.
Now I'm supposed to single out five blogs that make me think. OK. Here goes.
1. The Sceptical Optimist. I don't know how I discovered Steve, but I'm now a faithful visitor at his site. He makes me think that there are people who can explain economics and I should not worry too much about the deficit. He is an advocate of economic growth. The reason we balanced the budget in the 1990's was due to our economy growing faster than our debt. We are doing that now. Deficits are not bad as long as the money is spent wisely. He has the Best Debt Clock in the USA.
2. Christina. Just damn! She is smart and she has two very bright, well behaved children. She makes me think it is possible to raise well mannered children.
3. V-Man. He makes me think that there is at least one person crazier than I am. Actually there are a lot more but I know for sure that he is much crazier than I'll ever be. He is one of the best writers that no one ever reads. If only he'd write more, especially about his father, the Senator. Blodgemeets are always much more fun when he is there. V-Man! Quit posting Beatles videos and start writing again! You write. I link. Sitemeter goes back up.
4. Boudicca. She makes me think that there is such a thing as a supermom. She has three bright and well behaved boys! She somehow juggles her part time job (as an engineer), raising a family, volunteering at her boys' school, helping with Boy Scouts, and managing her household and makes it all look easy. On top of that, she's a babe! Her sister Mo is as well.
5. Gateway Pundit. He makes me think that St. Louis produced two good bloggers. The other one is, or course, I, since I grew up just outside of St. Louis. Like me, he is a war hawk and a rabid anti-Dimocrat.
6. Here's a bonus. Yabu. He makes me think he's a pussy for wimping out of going to Claxton with us. You're never gonna live that one down dude. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Wouldn't it be nice if they were to fight for the country with the same zeal that they fight for their soccer team? Send these dudes to Iran! Got it from here.
Did y'all hear about the school in Burlington New Jersey that staged a mock trerroism drill featuring those feared terroists, Christian fundamentalists? Yep! Those are the people I'm really worried about taking hostages and blowing themselves up. Yo, Jimbo! WTF is wrong with these folks in your state?
It seems there were nine other disaster scenarios considered. One of them:
6. A French exchange student trips on a stretch of uneven cement (the result of Republican tax cuts), creating an international incident, a virtually undetectable week long strike by the entire French work force, and one badly soiled beret.
OMFG! Another conspiracy!
For more info on this conspiracy go here. This drawfs 9/11!
To: Nancy Pilosi Speaker of the Senate and an incredible diplamat
From: Barbra Streisand
Dear Nanny,
First, I want to apologize fo that horrid fax that I sent you last December. Jim and I had just had a big fight about his allowance and I was down in the dumps and I took it out on you. You know that I love you and am very proud of your accomplishments. Especially your trip to Israel and Syria. I hear that you singlehandely brokered a peace agreement. What a diplomat. I'll bet that you were even responsible for the release of the British guys being held in Iran.
It's so wonderful that Democrats are once again running the country. Hilary will be president in 2008 and I'll get to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom again. I can hardly wait. Think of how much fun the three of us can have on a sleepover. You, Hil, and I drinking Crystal and ragging on the men in our lives.
Anyhow to make amends, I'm throwing a big fundraiser at my house for you and the Democratic Party. Here is the invitation.
All the smart and beautiful Hollywood people will be there. I'll be sooo happy to see you again girlfriend.
Luv ya,
Babs
Don Surber has a new game called Pet Or Pork. This follows his previous game called Name That Party, where you had to figger out the party of the scumbag in a news story. That was too easy. If it were a Republican it would be in the first paragraph. If it were a Dimocrat it would be way down in the story if it was even mentioned at all. Media bias? Nah!
The rules are sort of the same. Readers guess the party of the legislator in question simply by whether the questionable appropriations of public money are called “pet projects” or “pork barrel” by the reporter.
Have fun with this one. I don't expect it to be any harder than Name That Party.
What is it with Jimmah Carter. The worst president of the 20th Century is now trying to solidify his hold on the worst ex-president ever.
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Former President Jimmy Carter expressed his support for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's trip to Syria, rejecting White House criticism of the visit."I was glad that she went," Carter said Wednesday. "When there is a crisis, the best way to help resolve the crisis is to deal with the people who are instrumental in the problem."
Yep! Nothing like undermining your country's foreign policy you addled old traitorous peanut brained fool! Y'know, once there was a policy that politics ended at the water's edge, but that pretty much ended after Flipper went to Paris in the 70's to talk to the North Vietnamese, and the Dimocrats have been playing traitor ever since.
Pelosi arrived in Syria on Tuesday, in an attempt to open direct dialogue with Syria's leader, something President Bush opposes. Pelosi also discussed with President Bashar Al-Assad concerns about Syria's support for militant groups.Bush on Tuesday called the trip "counterproductive" and said it would send mixed signals.
Not to mention being in violation of the Logan Act. But who cares? There hasn't been a war in the last 50 years that the Dimocrats didn't want us to lose. Why do they hate this country so much?
"Photo opportunities and/or meetings with President Assad lead the Assad government to believe they're part of the mainstream of the international community, when, in fact, they're a state sponsor of terror," he said at a news conference in the White House's Rose Garden.
What does it matter? All that matters is that the president look bad. Remember, the Dims and the nutroots think that the real terrorist is Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler. All you have to do is peruse DU, the Puffington Host, and Kos or listen to Dick Durbin, Flipper, Howard Dean, the Swimmer, and most of the rest of the Dimocrats.
Carter, however, said there was "no threat" that the Democratic speaker's visit would dilute the United States' ability to speak to Syria with one voice.
This from the president with the most inept foreign policy in my lifetime. We can lay the blame for the rise in Islamofascism on his incompetent handling of the Iranian hostage crisis. Khomeini said later that he was ready to turn over the hostages until he saw the tepidness of the American response. That was the beginning of the belief in the Moo-slime world that the United States was a paper tiger which was only reinforced by our non-response to the Beirut bombing (Reagan fucked up there.) and Clinton's non-response to the embassy bombings, the Khobar Towers, and the Cole. Now we have the Dimocrats advocating cut and run from Iraq, which will only reinforce that belief and Pelosi playing pattycake with Assad.
Pelosi defended her visit, saying her talks with Al-Assad focused only on topics on which she and Bush agree."On the issues that we set before the president (of Syria)," she said, "there is no division among us or between our congressional delegation in Congress and the president of the United States."
Now there is a steaming crock of shit! There is nothing on which Pelosi and Bush agree. GMAFB!
It's not just patriotic Americans who are pissed at Pelosi. Syrian women are as well.
Assad could not have been happier because Syrian women, seeing a US official confirming what their husbands, the Imams in the Mosques tell them, and the society at large imposes on them through peer pressure will see in her wearing a Hijab as a confirmation of the societal pressures they are constantly under. No one will ever know how many women took the Hijab on after seeing Pelosi wearing it. The damage Speaker Pelosi is causing with her visit to Syria will be felt for many years to come.
See. Nancy isn't just fucking up our foreign policy, she's also screwing up reforms in the Moo-slime world. But that doesn't matter. Anything that makes Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler and the United States look bad is just fine with the Dimocrats.
Our terrorist enemies are rooting for Pelosi.
One terror leader, Khaled Al-Batch, a militant and spokesman for Islamic Jihad, expressed hope Pelosi would continue winning elections, explaining the House speaker's Damascus visit demonstrated she understands the Middle East.
Why not? She's on their side.
"Nancy Pelosi understands the area (Middle East) well, more than Bush and Dr. (Condoleeza) Rice," said Al-Batch, speaking to WND from Gaza. "If the Democrats want to make negotiations with Syria, Hamas, and Hezbollah, this means the Democratic Party understands well what happens in this area and I think Pelosi will succeed. ... I hope she wins the next elections."
So do Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda.
Once again, why do they hate this country so much? Maybe Sally can explain it to us in the comments. I wonder if she's picked out a burqa yet?
Only that one was elected and one wasn't. Other than that, not much.
From Jeffry.
Last week Teresa came to the conclusion that 24 has finally Jumped The Shark. I must concur.
This week I was rooting for the Veep and his aide, Ann Coulter (Didja think the writers were trying to get someone who looks like Ann?), to actually nuke the Middle Eastern country. C'mon. Fair's fair. They nuked us, let's nuke them. Better yet, let's have this little fishbowl full of cities like Mecca, Medina, Damascus, Tehran, Qom, and other cities of terrorist sponsoring nations. Then we'll have a drawing on national TV so we can all see which city we'll nuke in response to any terrorist attack on us.
So I was pissed when Wayne won the vote. Actually that little weasel Tom blackmailed the Veep. And what is it with the Palmers and the cabinet members they appoint? Buncha disloyal assholes.
So now we've seen one recycled plot from Season 2 when the Veep tried to dethrown Wayne's big bro. Any other plot recycling done?
Oh yeah. Nadia was framed just like Special Agent Breck and had to go through an interrogation. Ladies, how would you like to have hair like Nadia? It looked like shit after Ricky freaking Shroder got done with her, but last night it was nice and shiney. It looked great. I know women who would kill for hair like that.
Are we ever gonna find out WTF happened in Denver?
Any more plot recycling?
Oh yeah. Gredenko cutting his arm off. How many of you saw that coming? Yeah. Me too. They should have shot the isotope into his neck. That's like Charlie Brown having his hand cut off in Season 3. Next thing you know, we'll have Spawn showing up and doing sumpin' stupid. Speaking of Spawn, there is an online poll over at Television Without Pity to vote for your favorite developmentally disabled character, and Spawn is leading over Forrest Gump and the Rainman.
Now it looks like the adrenaline shots are going to Wayne's head and he's actually gonna nuke The Middle Eastern Country after all. Yay! Sumpin' to cheer about!
Here we see Nancy Pelosi practicing for when she and the Dimocrats surrender to the Islamofascists.
Thanks to CharlieB.
BTW, She, Flipper, Dean, Peanut, and some of some idiot Republicans are in violation of the Logan Act.
Melissa sent me this.
Which is the perfect visual to segue into this joke that that Barney sent me.
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out
that she's pregnant. She is furious... Here she's in the middle of her
first run for president, and as Senator of New York, this has happened to
her. She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts
screaming, "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on
right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can't believe
this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your
fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?"
There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, "Did you hear me?"
Finally she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible
whisper, he says, "Who is this?"
He knows it can't be Hillary since she hasn't given him any in over 15 years. Who would be desperate enough to have sex with Hillary?
Rob sent me this link. What is it with these lunatics? The same people who think that Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler is a moron somehow seem to think that he was able to orchestrate this incredibly complicated conspiracy involving thousands of people to blow up the WTC and somehow nothing has leaked out about it. I want some of the shit that these dudes are smoking.
As Rob pointed out, Michael Savage maintains that liberalism is a mental disorder and this is proof positive. Talk about cognitive dissonance. And these fuckheads vote. They're called Dimocrats.
Now, Rosie O'Pigo has checked in with her knowledge of metallurgy when she stated that one of the adjacent buildings couldn't have fallen without explosives because everyone knows that steel only melts at twice the temperature that jet fuel burns at. Once again, she thinks that Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler is an idiot (and should be impeached) but that he somehow set up this massive conspiracy and no one in the gummint has leaked anything about it. Talk about an awesome case of Bush Derangement Syndrome. And these people vote. They're called Dimocrats.
Popular Mechanics explains why Rosie is full of shit.
While saying she didn’t know what to believe about the U.S. government’s involvement in the attacks of Sept. 11, she said, “I do believe that it’s the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel. I do believe that it defies physics that World Trade Center tower 7—building 7, which collapsed in on itself—it is impossible for a building to fall the way it fell without explosives being involved. World Trade Center 7. World Trade [Center] 1 and 2 got hit by planes—7, miraculously, the first time in history, steel was melted by fire. It is physically impossible.”
Thank you Rosie, you rocket scientist. I'm thinking that what is physically impossible is that some woman would consent to have sex with you, but miracles do happen.
She continued: “To say that we don’t know that it imploded, that it was an implosion and a demolition, is beyond ignorant. Look at the films, get a physics expert here [on the show] from Yale, from Harvard, pick the school—[the collapse] defies reason.”
The fact that you are on television defies reason. In case you are thinking I'm making this shit up, here is Rosie in all of her brilliance.
What a fucktard!
The unusual design of WTC7 is also crucial to the discussion, in that key columns supported extreme loads—as much as 2000 sq. ft. of floor area for each floor—as the building straddled an electrical substation. “What our preliminary analysis has shown is that if you take out just one column on one of the lower floors,” NIST lead investigator Shyam Sunder told Popular Mechanics, “it could cause a vertical progression of collapse so that the entire section comes down.” The tower wasn’t hit by a plane, but it was severely wounded by the collapse of the North Tower. Which is when the fires started.
Read the entire article.
Now for those who still think that Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler, evil Dick Cheney, and Darth Rove somehow masterminded 9/11 and they were able to keep it secret from the New York Times and the Washington Post and that there was no one in the CIA or anyplace else in the gummint who would blow the whistle on this, please contact me for an online business opportunity that will make you millions just by using your PC for only two hours a day.
For more on why people like Rosie O'Pigo who think that 9/11 was an evil conspiracy masterminded by that idiot Chimpy McHaliburton Bushitler go see what Maddox has to say about it.
Remember. These people vote! They're called Dimocrats!
Update! The Rosie O'Pigo Rant Advisory
I have been sent Easter Cartoons by many readers so it is time to start sharing them.
But first. On this date in 1973 I was hired by the Mattel Office Products Division of IBM. April 2nd fell on a Monday just like it does this year. I was always pissed that I wasn't hired on April 1 since it would have been more appropriate to some of my "attitude problems" during various times in my career. Funny, I only had those "attitude problems" when I worked for incompetent managers or in divisions like the Mattel Office Products Division that was incompetently managed from the top down. Out of my 31.5 years at IBM, I only had an "attitude problem" during my 4.5 years working in the Mattel Office Products Division and my last two years that I worked for my CDSM©. The rest of the time, I was a dedicated employee, although somewhat eccentric at times. During my last ten years I was a technology primadonna, (Read Scott Adams The Joy Of Work. He described me perfectly in that book.) but I was also a very productive employee. Anyway, I love retirement!
Now on to the puns and there are a lot of them sent to me by DWD.
Pun-tificating
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. [That's a story that lens itself.]
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a blooming idiot.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Rodger has breakfast with Nancy Pelosi. Heh. Heh. Heh.
Sent to me by Darrell. Since I have never watched American Idol, I would not have understood this had there not been an article in the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation about some loser on American Idol who keeps getting enough votes to stay on the show. I guess this is what this cartoon is about.
I saw this in Sunday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Twenty-five years after hostilities ceased, Argentina is opening a new front in the Falklands War.
May as well. The UK couldn't protect 15 British sailors so what makes us think they can protect the Falklands?
Rather than jets and mortar rounds, however, this salvo involves diplomats appealing for help at the United Nations and the government reasserting long-standing claims to the island chain where far more sheep than people huddle against the forbidding South Atlantic winds.
Fuck that! Just form an alliance with Iran and reinvade the Falklands. The UK has let its navy deteriorate and Tony Blair ain't no Maggie Thatcher.
Richard and his wife had a cookout yesterday and invited some lucky people to partake thereof Zonker and I (Never one to turn down a free meal.) showed up. It was my first chance to show off my new guitar I just got from Willy last week. I also played this song.
Of course since there were children around I had to change it to "pretty messed up". Zonker called up Shoe (Who's going through a psychobitch period. No, not that kind of period! ) so she could hear it. She had already heard the clean version when I played it at Christina's last week.
Some of their friends and neighbors showed up and asked how we all met. I then had to explain what blodgers were. Richard's wife's friend was a babe. Too bad she wasn't able to stay long. I didn't have a chance to thrill her with my guitar virtuosity.
I was careful with my drinking since I had an hour drive back to Atlanta. Richard lives in West, By God, Georgia about twenty miles from Alabamastan. When I got home I found out that Richard had already posted some pictures of the event.
A good time was had by all.
