With Connie Booth, who was married to John Cleese and later starred in and co-wrote Fawlty Towers with him.
Which brings to mind a joke. Why did the lumber truck stop? To let the lumberjack off. Rim shot.
Thank you folks. I'm here all week.
From my cousin Steve I got the link to this article.
The government reported Wednesday that the U.S. economy grew at a rate of 0.6% in the first quarter of 2008, which was basically in line with expectations on Wall Street.While GDP growth of 0.6% reflects sluggish activity in the U.S. economy as it muddles through a slowdown in the national housing market and a credit crunch on Wall Street, it also suggests that the nation did avoid recession in the first three months of the year, when many investors were predicting that a recession was underway.
Now let me explain to those of you who know nothing about economics (that would be TDO and any other liberals who stop by) that a recession is defined as two quarters of negative growth in GDP. For the economically illiterate, GDP stands for Gross Domestic Product which is the total amount of goods and services produced by this country. Currently it is about $14.2 trillion.
In the 4th quarter of last year GDP grew by an anemic .2 percent. In the 1st quarter of this year GDP grew by an anemic .6 percent. This means that we are still not in a recession, as much as the LSM amd those suffering from BDS would like us to believe. We are in an economic slowdown. Not a recession.
When you look what has been thrown at our economy, the double whammy of the burst of the housing bubble and the rise in gas prices, (Thanks Nancy and Harry for not allowing us to drill in ANWR and off the coast), it's amazing that we are not in a recession. This just shows how resilient our economy is.
I still think the tax rebates are a waste of money and are not needed, especially since SRF©s like me don't get a rebate. Instead, they're gonna give them to people who don't even pay taxes. Hello lottery tickets, cigarettes, and booze. The nice thing about lottery tickets is that they are a tax on the stupid. A nice irony is that we use the Georgia Lottery to pay for education. Stupid poor people pay to put smart middle class people through college. How neat is that?
OK Rev, here's how it works. Everytime you make a speech that makes Obama look bad, I'll put $50K in your account in the Caymans. How's that sound?
Theo sent me the pic.
Ring. Ring.
BJ: Hello?
TRT: Bill it's Hillary.
BJ: Hi Hill.
TRT: OK. You're out of the doghouse. I just need to know, how much did you pay him?
BJ: Pay who?
TRT: That crazy preacher.
BJ: You mean that Jeremiah Wright dude?
TRT: Yeah.
BJ: $50K a pop.
TRT: So every time he gives a wacky speech and makes that uppity Obama Yo Mama look like an idiot for staying in that church for 20 years, you give him $50,000?
BJ: That's right.
TRT: Where's the money coming from? We sure can't be giving him money from my campaign. I'm fucking broke and those assholes in the press who used to love us are writing about me stiffing people.
BJ: I'm using that offshore account we established to hide some of our money so we can cut our tax bill. You know. Like the shit we keep talking about the rich doing. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
TRT: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And the rubes believe almost everything we tell them. If only we could get the press on our side again. I miss Dan Rather. He worshipped us.
BJ: Anyway, Reverend Nutjob has an offshore account in the Caymans just like we do. He makes a wacky speech that makes Obama Yo Mama look bad, I transfer $50K from our account to his.
TRT: Well, that uppity bastard just threw his old pastor under the bus today.
BJ: Don't worry. If we can't steal the nomination this year, we can do enough behind the scenes to sabotage Obama Yo Mama's campaign so he won't be able to beat McCain. At least I hope so. That idiot said he was gonna run a clean campaign. How stupid is that? Does McCain really want to be president? He's telling the Republicans in North Carolina not to run an ad associating Reverend Nutjob and Obama Yo Mama to the Democratic candidates for governor. We're really gonna have to work awful hard to get McCain elected if you don't get the nomination.
TRT: I don't know Bil. Peggy Noonan wrote a column that said if I came back in 2012 I would have to wear a skirt.
BJ: Holy shit Hill! You don't dare show your legs in public.
Crash!
BJ: What was that! Did you throw a lamp?
TRT: Just fuck you Bill!
BJ: C'mon Hill. I was just kidding. Margaret Thatcher wore skirts. You could adopt that look. It might make you look more presidential than the pantsuits.
TRT: OK Bill. You're off the hook. Good job with Reverend Wright. Would you just watch your mouth when you're campaigning and quit fucking up with your speeches. The press is no longer on our side and when you tell a whopper they won't cover for you any more like they used to. You're almost as bad as Reverend Nutjob. Sometimes I wonder if Obama Yo Mama is paying you.
You can get back to screwing your whore now.
BJ: Bye Hill.
Click.
I sure hope this doesn't apply to Prosper. Got the link from here.
The French are more miserable than at any time since records began, a new survey has revealed.
Well that explains why my French trolls are so pissed off!
Soaring inflation, unemployment and widespread dis-satisfaction with their daily lives have plunged the nation to historic low of gloominess, researchers found.The study into happiness levels in French households showed that on a scale of plus 100 points for "total contentment" to minus 100 for "utter misery", the average French man and woman scored "minus 37".
But Prosper has told me many times how great life in France is what with the "free" healthcare, 35 hour workweek, 6 weeks of vacation, and job security. Why are the French so miserable? Oh yeah. Soaring inflation and high unemployment. What high unemployment? Prosper told me it was around 7.5%. I guess that's low for France but it is severe recession level for us. The Dims and the LSM are screaming about out 5.1% rate being bad but back in 1996 when it was around 5.1% they were praising Bill Clinton for keeping it so low. Media bias? Nahhh!
The national outbreak of despair has coincided with a separate survey that found Nicolas Sarkozy is also one of the most unpopular Presidents in history, with just 32 per cent of people saying they like him.
That's because he's trying to do sumpin' about the high unemployment and soaring inflation. The French don't want to take the steps to fix their economy.
But despite the national gloom Mr Sarkozy's wife, former model Carla Bruni was not a bit miserable as she smiled for the cameras during a state visit to Tunisia today.
Well, yeah. She's a babe!
"But rising inflation and unemployment, interest rates, privatisations and public sector job cuts are clearly making people very depressed about what is happening in France."The depressing findings were released yesterday, just one day after Sarkozy unveiled a major new drive to kick-start the ailing French economy - after saying the country had been "asleep for 25 years".
Good luck Nick. You're gonna need it. What the hell. You may fail at fixing the economy, but you do have a wife who's a babe. Look at Bill Clinton. He has Thunder Rodent Thighs.
Another bloody quiz. I got this one from Bou.
What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as English You should be an English major! Your passion lies in writing and expressing yourself creatively, and you hate it when you are inhibited from doing so. Pursue that interest of yours!
|
For the record, I was an engineering major. When I was in junior high and I was not doing well in school, my father made a deal with me. He said as long as I did well in math and English he would be happy. Math because it would teach me to think logically and English because it would teach me to express myself.
True story. When I was an instructor we used to have to submit monthly reports (Can't remember the real name) of our accomplishments. My manager told me I had a way with words and asked me to take all of the input from the other instructors and write up our team's accomplishments. I asked him if that "way with words" meant that I was able to bullshit on paper. He just smiled and asked me to do it.
It's funny. sometimes I have a lot to say, and sometimes I have nothing. Like last Thursday.
I could have written about the inconsistency of an Atlanta Urinal and Constipation columnist outraged over the fact that two single people (The Georgia DOT Commissioner and the head of the DOT board) had developed a romantic relationship. Because of this, the head of the board resigned. Now this is the same columnist that during the Clinton administration called Clinton getting his knob polished by an airheaded intern a private sexual matter. Not to mention that over the years the harridans at NOW always said that whenever a man of authority has an affair with an underling, even if it is consensual, that is considered sexual harassment. Funny how the rule changed for Clinton.
And let's not forget Gloria Steinem's One Free Grope Rule that she made up when Clinton groped Kathleen Willey. He groped her, she said stop, and he did. Let's see a Republican try to get away with that. The skanks at NOW would be shrieking like the harpies they are.
But that was last Thursday. Today, I have nothing. I don't even have anything to say about this guy.
308-pounder sues over jail weight lossAn inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing Benton County, Ark., complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu. Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 308 pounds from 413 pounds after eight months in the Benton County jail. He complains in his federal lawsuit that the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food, and that the food it serves is cold. Police say Laswell and a co-defendant fatally beat and stabbed a man, then set his home on fire.
Dude! People pay money to lose weight like that. We should let Michael Moore spend a few months in that jail.
Nope. I got nuthin'
What about the dead parrot?
Oh yeah. A few days ago, my friend Cindy told me that kids don't get a lot of the references we make to Monty Python. Like a few years back we were cheese shopping and we did a few lines of The Cheese Shop Sketch. People looked at us like we were a couple of idiots. She also said that kids didn't get the humor.
Of course the kids get the humor. What with YouTube, kids are discovering Monty Python. At least Bou's kids are.
She posted The Argument Sketch, which happens to be one of Michael's and Cindy's favorites as they even quote parts of it when they are having an argument. Of course, my favorite of all time is The Dead Parrot sketch and I'm not alone. 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches Of All Time.
Their Dead Parrot Sketch they posted doesn't have the entire sketch. It left off the ending which has the classic line, "The palindrome of Bolton is Notlob." So here it is in its entirety.
"pinin' for the fjords."
I even used a line from this when I had the Great Patio of Dunwoody constructed. The contractor moved a tree. The tree died. I pointed it out. He said, "No", and snapped off a branch. "Look! It's green."
I said to myself, "It's a Norwegian Blue Spruce and it's pinin' for the fjords."
It was a dead tree.
This one is from Richard.
There was once a king of a wealthy island nation. The king could have built a large palace on the island. However, tradition dictated that he live in a modest grass hut like the island's other inhabitants.
Wanting to enjoy his wealth, he called in engineers. They suggested that he build an elaborate throne. They designed the throne, along with a series of ropes and levers to raise and lower it. That way, he could lift it up to the top of his hut when not in use, leaving more room for other activities.
The king was happy for a few months. But soon the ropes frayed and the throne tumbled down and shattered. This goes to prove that ...
... people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Mama Moonbat files to take on Pelosi. Thanks to Mike for the link.
Peace activist Cindy Sheehan wants to snatch House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's congressional seat from her in November, but first she's going to need the help - and signatures - of 10,198 friends and supporters.And from Don Surber, I got this link to her web site.
Sheehan was at San Francisco City Hall on Friday to take out papers for her independent run for Congress, but without those signatures from voters in the district, her name won't show up on the ballot.
"It's an uphill battle," said Sheehan, who vowed to run against Pelosi in July after the speaker refused to start impeachment proceedings against President George Bush. "But I'm excited about the signature-gathering process. It's going to be an opportunity to talk to people about our campaign."
Which just goes to show that as far left as Pelosi is, she's considered a centrist by people like Mama Moonbat and many other people in the Bay Area. I really hope that she gets the required signatures. I remembered to buy popcorn at the store yesterday.
It's amazing how many rock bands really kick ass when they go to Japan. Have you ever heard Cheap Trick's Live at Budokan? My first Sunday Metal was Judas Priest recorded live in Japan. Here's Guns and Roses in Tokyo.
What I wouldn't give to be able to play guitar like Slash. He said recently that he was the last great lead guitarist. When I listen to the crap that is coming out now, I believe him. None of the current rock bands have anyone who can play lead guitar.
This one is from Mo K and it involves a smart blonde.
A beautiful young blonde was standing at a bar when a guy came up to her. He said, "I would love to get in your panties!"
To which she replied, "No need, I already have an asshole in there".
This week's AOTW has been out assholed for the last three weeks, but it is finally his turn. I know that you will all agree with me that Reverend Jerry Wright is long overdue.
This week he was interviewed by another asshole, Bill Moyers. He said that the anti-American, racist, foaming at the mouth videos we have seen of his sermons were all taken out of context.
Y'see when he said "Goddamn America" what he was really saying was "Goddamn America". And "It's in the Bible". Funny. I haven't found "Goddamn America" anywhere in the Bible. Maybe he is using Nancy Pelosi's Bible.
"The Bible tells us in the Old Testament, 'To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us.' On this Earth Day, and every day, let us pledge to our children, and our children's children, that they will have clean air to breathe, clean water to drink, and the opportunity to experience the wonders of nature." ... Nancy Pelosi
Unfortunately the phrase Nancy quotes, "To minister to the needs of God's creation is an act of worship. To ignore those needs is to dishonor the God who made us." isn't in the Bible. And what would a rat bastard commie like Nancy know about the Bible anyway? She must of made it up. Just like Jerry Wright made up "Goddamn America" is "in the Bible". A Dimocrat lying? Horrors!
But back to Jerry. He also said in regard to 9/11 that "America's chickens are coming home to roost". That was taken out of context. What he really meant was "America's chickens are coming home to roost".
Or how about accusing the gummint of creating the HIV virus. What he meant by that was that the gummint created the HIV virus.
See how easy the meanings get changed when you take what he says out of context?
Here's a quote from his interview with Moyers.
“I think they wanted to communicate that I am unpatriotic, that I am un-American, that I am filled with hate speech, that I have a cult at Trinity United Church of Christ. And by the way, guess who goes to his church, hint, hint, hint? That’s what they wanted to communicate.”
No Jerry. All we have to do is listen to your sermons and we know that you are "un-American" and that you are "filled with hate speech". You do a pretty good job of communicating that on your own. And yes, we know that Obama went to your church for 20 years. He even donated $26 thousand to your church last year and he has refused to repudiate your un-American racist hate speech. You yourself are totally unapologetic for any of the bullshit you have spouted over the years. For that, you have finally won out over many other assholes and have earned the coveted AOTW Award.
A good place to wear it would be over your mouth.
That would be Irving Bloom of Atlanta who wrote this letter to the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
Politicians seem asleep at the wheelHello, Washington. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Congress. Hello, Mr. President. Is everyone asleep?
Gasoline prices continue to rise, approaching $4 a gallon in some parts of the country. We have had prices out of control before, and our government stepped in with some kind of price control. But now it seems that all in control of our government are either asleep and don't know what is going on or what to do. All of us must ring the alarm clock and demand they do something to alleviate the problem. We the citizens are beginning to lose our patience.
Dear Irving,
You are an idiot!
Were you alive back in the 70's? That was the last time that we had price controls? Do you remember the gas lines? Do you remember the shortages? Here's the thing about price controls They. Do. Not. Work! You can't legislate the law of supply and demand. I wish I could think of an easy way to explain this simple concept but it seems to evade understanding for so many people. I call them Dimocrats. These are the same people who think socialism actually works when there is ample evidence (Cuba, USSR, Warsaw Pact Nations, Zimbabwe, and coming soon, Venezuela) that it has failed almost everywhere it has been tried. Socialism has been responsible for more deaths than Adolph Hitler. Stalin and Mao killed millions of people in the name of socialism and still there are dimbulbs who actually think they can make it work. Irving, I'm sure that you are one of them.
Irving, you simple tool, I'll bet you're a Dimocrat. I'll bet you are against drilling in ANWR. I'll bet you are against drilling off the coast of Florida and California. I'll bet you are against building new oil refineries.
There is no magic energy source over the horizon. Electric cars are not the answer until we can figger out how to make one that will do 70 MPH for three hours and only take ten minutes to recharge. And then we will have to produce the electricity to recharge it. You're prolly against nuclear power plants and coal fired plants.
Remember when Pelosi promised us change if we elected Dimocrats to Congress? Well she was right. Gas is headed to $4.00 a gallon and you can thank the Dims for restricting us from drilling for more oil in ANWR and off the coast. (About now is where some troll reading this will comment about how Bush didn't open up ANWR when the Republicans controlled Congress. He tried. Unfortunately, the Republicans in the Senate didn't have enough votes to prevent a filibuster by the Dims.) Now you want those same assholes who won't allow us to increase our domestic sources of oil to impose price controls. I'm sorry. I saw that movie during the Nixon, Ford, and Carter years. I don't want to see it again. Unfortunately, I will. Jug Hussein Ears is the black Jimmah Carter and he'll have a Dimocrat Congress with a farking socialist as Speaker of the House. I can hardly wait for his "malaise" speech blaming us for his ineptitude. I wonder how he looks in a sweater?
Set the Wayback Machine Sherman 'cause we're going back to 1976. They'll prolly reimpose the 55 MPH speed limit, as well.
Be careful of what you wish for, Irving. In your case, you're gonna get it. Hope you enjoy your gas lines.
You can always take the bus.
Sincerely,
GOC in Atlanta
Dear Wahoo,
This is what the bush that you kept cutting down at my old house looks when you let it grow.
Your friend,
Denny
My Snowball Viburnum in full bloom.
I'm sure that since Thunder Rodent Thighs is getting tired she's having trouble making up decent whoppers. Who am I kidding? She's a Clinton. She's incapable of telling the truth. But just in case, this will help her out.
Thanks to Peggy U.
The azaleas in front of my library are in full bloom. They're a little late this year because of all the global warming we have had. I keep meaning to replace that bush in front with an azalea. Can't do it this year as we are in a drought and there are watering restrictions.
I've really been neglecting this global warming stuff. I haven't written anything about it in over a week. I mean, we're all gonna die when we reach that mythical tipping point that Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW keeps talking about. He's pushed it back a few times, but I think we'll know for sure in another four years and then I can laugh at a few believers. *cough* Prosper *cough*.
It may be even sooner since greenhouse gasses are growing at a faster pace.
Washington —- Major greenhouse gases in the air are accumulating faster than in the past, despite efforts to curtail their growth.
Holy crap! We're doomed! The sky is falling! Help us Pope Albert for we have sinned!
Carbon dioxide concentration in the air increased by 2.4 parts per million last year, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reported Wednesday, and methane concentrations also rose rapidly.
Prolly all those cow farts.
Concern has grown in recent years about these gases, with most atmospheric scientists concerned that the increasing accumulation is causing Earth's temperature to rise, potentially disrupting climate and changing patterns of rainfall, drought and storms.
Y'all remember all those hurricanes we had the last two years dontcha?
Maybe we need more of these greenhouse gasses to prevent the coming ice age. Thanks to many readers for the link.
Disconcerting as it may be to true believers in global warming, the average temperature on Earth has remained steady or slowly declined during the past decade, despite the continued increase in the atmospheric concentration of carbon dioxide, and now the global temperature is falling precipitously.All four agencies that track Earth's temperature (the Hadley Climate Research Unit in Britain, the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York, the Christy group at the University of Alabama, and Remote Sensing Systems Inc in California) report that it cooled by about 0.7C in 2007. This is the fastest temperature change in the instrumental record and it puts us back where we were in 1930. If the temperature does not soon recover, we will have to conclude that global warming is over.
Global warming is over? You mean that Pope Albert I was wrong? How can that be? He won an Oscar for his Power Point presentation documentary. Hollywood couldn't be wrong about that. You know how smart all those folks who work in Hollywood are. I mean Cher is a fucking rocket scientist. So are Sean Pean and Lennie DiCaprio.
And the Nobel Peace Prize committee? Those folks couldn't be wrong could they? These are the folks who gave Yassir Arafat a Nobel Peace Prize. Jimmah got one too.
So maybe we better keep pumping out those greenhouse gases so we don't freeze to death.
And Pope Albert I can make a Power Point presentation documentary about global cooling. After all he's doing his part by using twelve times the energy of an average family and that's just in his Nashville mansion.
Save the planet. Drive a gas guzzling SUV.
Heh! Heh! Heh! Right after the Clintons moved into the White House, Jesse Jackson, noted RWPP stopped in to see Thunder Rodent Thighs. When he was interviewed as he left the White House, he told the reporter that he had just visited Hillary Rodman Clinton.
Some idiot wrote an op-ed in today's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation praising that man of peace, Jimmah "peanut brain" Carter.
How can anyone slap former President Jimmy Carter with such name-calling as "anti-Semitic" or "un-American?"
Uh. Maybe because he is?
Give the man a break. After all, he is responsible for nearly eradicating Guinea worm in Ghana. Millions of children are alive today because, through the Carter Center, they were immunized against polio and measles.
Hoo-ray! And now let's hear some more of his accomplishments.
At great personal risk, he mediated disputes in Ethiopia, Sudan,
How's that Darfur thing working out?
Somalia,
Ah yes, peace is breaking out all over in Somalia.
North Korea,
Is that the thing where kim Yuk Foo started violating the treaty the day after it was signed? That's a success? Geez! I'd hate to see what this guy considers a failure.
Haiti and Bosnia,
Was this before or after Thunder Rodent Thighs flew in during sniper fire?
and monitored elections in Panama, Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, Zambia, Guyana, Paraguay, Liberia and Jamaica. Carter has dedicated his life to alleviating tensions in the troubled areas of the world, promoting human rights and protecting the environment. He denounced apartheid in South Africa and brokered an unprecedented peace between Israel and Egypt,
For which we have to pay a combined $6 billion a year to the two countries.
for which he won the Nobel Peace Prize.No, He won the Nobel Peace Prize for his anti-American rhetoric.
He helped produce a cease-fire in the former Yugoslavia.
I think it was our bombing that did that.
Jimmah is one of the worst presidents in our history. Now, since he has decided that he wants to be secretary of state and no one will appoint him to that office, he is pretending he is one and traveling all over the world seeing what he can fuck up. My favorite Jimmah joke is that he always lays on the bottom when he has sex since all he can do is fuck up.
I don't know what the dickhead who wrote this piece is smoking, but I'd like some of it.
OBG sent me a bunch of Thunder Rodent Thighs cartoons so in honor of her victory in Pennsylvania I'll start posting them.
Medals? Damn right I got medals!
Last night, I went over to Michael's and Cindy's to watch the election returns. Michael had some white Burgundy left over from his staff tasting and we drank that. One wine went for $100 a bottle and another went for $60. Quite frankly, I cannot see paying that much for a white wine unless it's Champagne.
Anyway we were all rooting for Thunder Rodent Thighs. I never thought the day would come when I would root for a Clinton. And no, I'm not doing this because Rush Limbaugh said I should. I want this campaign to go all the way to the convention. I want to see Thunder Rodent Thighs and Jug Hussein Ears fight it out. I want to see it get even nastier. I want to see more satire from SNL about this. This has been the most fun campaign ever!
Michael said that Thunder Rodent Thighs needed to win by ten points to keep her campaign viable. In other words, to raise more money since she's broke and she's been stiffing creditors. She can't even repay the $5 million she lent her campaign. Maybe she and BJ will have to lend her campaign even more money. It does my heart good to see the Clintons losing money. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
As I said. This is the most fun campaign ever.
Tonight I have to go out to eat and drink more wine. The Sommelier Guild of Atlanta's annual banquet is next month so the board (of which I am a member since I'm an officer) has to go to the restaurant where we're having it and have a test dinner so that we can come up with the menu. This is where we order a whole bunch of food off the menu to pick what we'll have at the banquet. Each board member also has to bring a bottle of wine from his cellar. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
Saw this link at Boortz.
Equal pay for equal work will be the catch phrase in the Senate this week.
I totally agree. In this case, a woman was doing similar work as a supervisor, and was receiving less pay than the men doing the same work. This is wrong. As long as her performance was the same, she should be paid the same.
Equal pay for equal work.
Now let's look at another example. Back in the early 80's I was an IBM Customer Engineer working at McDonnell Douglas Automation in St. Louis. I came into work on 3rd shift and the woman I was relieving left me a job replacing the drive motor on a 3330 disk drive. The reason I had to replace it was because she was not strong enough to lift the motor (which really didn't weigh that much) into place. Being the snarky bastard I am, I said, "Equal pay for equal work."
She replied, "Well no one told me that this job required that I had to lift heavy stuff."
My reply to her was, "If you cannot do the same job that I do, you should not be paid as much as I am."
Equal pay for equal work.
On a side note, when I got to the machine, I saw that she had not labeled the wires when she disconnected the motor. She had also managed to lose a critical washer. Looked everywhere for it. Never found it. I finally had to order one.
She and I had the exact same job title. She could not do things that I could. Therefore, she should not be paid the same amount of money.
Equal pay for equal work.
I'm all for women doing jobs that have traditionally been done by men as long as they can perform at the same level.
Think about this: You are in a burning building. You weigh 200 pounds. Which person would you rather have carry you out of the building, A petite little 5 foot, 100 pound woman who is a fireman due to relaxed standards or a strapping 6 foot 200 pound male?
Equal pay for equal work.
My last eight years at IBM I was a systems programmer. Our best programmer was a woman. She was sharp as a tack and was great at her job. She also had a wicked sense of humor and could get little zings in at our CDSM©, many of which went right over his head. If she didn't make more than I did, she deserved to.
Equal pay for equal work.
My sister was a software engineer. She started out back in 1964 when the job title was just programmer. She saw people less competent than she was getting promoted over her. She left that job and moved to another company that paid her more money.
Equal pay for equal work.
All right ladies, fire away.
Woody sent me this.
"We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold
an election.
On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer,
and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.
On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a
huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.
Is there a contest here?"
Hey! It's Earth Day. Plant a tree. Hug it. Copulate with it. Cut it down. Burn it. Bah Humbug!
Tonight I am heading down to One Midtown Kitchen to sample some wines from the Loire Valley. Fortunately, Elisson is being spared this torture since he is in Japan. Here are the wines we'll be tasting and the food we'll be eating.
First Course
Hot goat cheese in grilled sour dough bread with truffled wild
mushrooms
First Flight
Henri Bourgeois Quincy 2006
Henri Bourgeois Pouilly Fume 2006
Henri Bourgeois Sancerre "Le Baronnes" 2006
Second Course
Smoked pork shoulder with red pepper grits
Second Flight
Bernard Fouquet Vouvray Cuvee Silex 2006
Domaine Des Baunard Savennieres "Papillon" 2006
Domaine Pichot Vouvray 2006
Third Course
Hickory grilled chicken with pappardelle & asparagus in a black truffle
Third Flight
Domaine Des Pallus Chinon "les Pensees de Pallus" 2005
Henri Bourgeois Chateaumeillant Solissime 2006
Frederic Mabileau St. Nicolas de Bourgueil 2005
Desert
Apple tart
Domaine Des Baumard Quarts De Chaume 2003
This one is from Lunchmeat.
Snow White received a digital camera as a gift.
She took pictures of the dwarfs and the forest creatures and she quickly filled her memory card.
She didn't have a printer, so she took the card to a store to have the photos printed.
She returned a few days later but was told there had been a malfunction and her prints would be late.
Snow White was so disappointed that she wept.
The store clerk tried to console her, saying, "Don't worry.
Someday your prints will come."
Got this test from Leslie.
I like music. Go figger. What else would you expect from the younger half of the Elderly Brothers? Math? I was a systems programmer. People good at math make good sysprogs.
Ya notice how low my interpersonal skills are? I was the House version of a systems programmer during my last few years at IBM. I earned the grouchy part of Grouchy Old Cripple. Or is that Bitter Old Cripple?
Got this from Poulsen. One tomato a day.
White Snake.
This was before David Coverdale was nailing Tawny Kitaen and putting her in a bunch of White Snake videos.
This one is from DBolsman.
A state trooper was driving along in the country when he noticed a small black coupe swerving all over the lonely back road. He put on his flashers and pulled the car over. Hopping out of his cruiser, he then approached the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The blonde replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener."
I am at one with the universe.
Saw this at SondraK's. scroll down. The permalink will not work.
Iraqis often complain about the problems in their country and the government’s lack of obvious progress in solving them.But as drivers in traffic-clogged Baghdad learned this week, Iraqi officials are taking action in one area: strict enforcement of a seat belt law.
Later this month, traffic police officers all over Iraq will start issuing tickets to any scofflaw who drives without buckling up. Violators will be fined 15,000 dinars—about $12.50.
Now I was all over this a short time ago. Remember this?
"Wear your seatbelt. Don't run with scissors. Drink milk." This marine was just trying to keep the cabbie from getting a ticket.
This week's winner should be absolutely no surprise. Not only is he the worst president in my lifetime but he has become the worst ex-president in my lifetime, prolly the worst ex-president in the history of this country. He was doing fine building houses but then he decided to undermine this nation's foreign policy. Of course, I'm talking about Jimmah Carter.
Thanks to David.
So what has our worst ex-president done this week?
In spite of being asked by the State Department not to, he met with Hamas terrorist thugs. After all, who knows more about Jew haters than a Jew hater like Jimmah? Birds of a feather and all that. He claims that Hamas must be part of any peace negotiations. Yannow, the Hamas that has vowed the total destruction of Israel. At least the Palestinian Authority pretends to want peace with Israel. Not Hamas. I'll bet the Hamas leaders are laughing their asses off about how clueless Jimmah is.
And then he honored that dead terrorist thug Yassir Arafat by placing a wreath on his grave. Way to go Jimmah.
He wanted to meet with the head of Islamic Jihad but was turned down. Don't know why. Any enemy of the United States is a friend of Jimmah.
I'm surprised he isn't going to Iran to meet with Aramalamadingdong. After all, it was Jimmah's incompetence that put the mad mullahs in charge in Iran. Iran should have a monument to him.
I don't know how this asshole can look at himself in the mirror. And I'll bet he has a place of honor at the Dimocrat Convention in Denver just like he did four years ago. Like four years ago, he'll prolly be sitting next to Michael "Mr Creosote" Moore, another America hating asshole.
Congrats Dims. He's your man. And he's the winner of the AOTW award.
Update: The US House introduced a resolution on Hamas and Jimmah
Carter. Via Gateway Pundit.
"We ought to be screaming from the rafters about the lack of judgment in the former president going to see a known terrorist," U.S. Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.), one of the bill's original co-sponsors, told JTA. "Khaled Mashaal is the worst of the worst."
Any sentence that includes "Jimmah Carter" and "judgment" must also have the words "lack of" included. I think that's a law.
Here's frequent commenter, and honorary Blown-Eye, Kerrcarto's son at the range.
It warms the cockles of my heart. I'm sure this will piss off some liberals, *cough* Teresa (TDO) *cough*.
Bruce springsteen endorsed Jug Hussein Ears.
New Jersey rock star Bruce Springsteen endorsed Democratic Sen. Barack Obama for president today, saying "he speaks to the America I've envisioned in my music for the past 35 years."
Well we know he's not speaking to those bitter rednecks with Bibles and guns in flyover country. Howza 'bout you Bruce? I guess you prolly don't think much of those bitter people either.
In a letter addressed to friends and fans posted his Web site, Springsteen said he believes Obama is the best candidate to undo "the terrible damage done over the past eight years.
Could you be more specific about the damage. WTF would you know about that? You're a millionaire fer chrissakes. Have you not been selling any records? Are people not going to your concerts?
Unemployment is lower than it was during the Clinton years. The stock market hit a record high. It's down now, but it's still higher than it was during the Clinton years.
Bush inherited a recession and then 9/11 hit. Still our economy recovered. Now we may be in a recession. By the classic definition (two consecutive quarters of negative growth) we will not know until July.
Gas prices are up, but the Dimocrats don't want to do anything to help us achieve energy independence. They will not allow drilling off the coast or in ANWR. Both parties have bought into ethanol, which has driven up the price of corn (one of the worst things to make ethanol from) and other food prices. It's funny that the Dims are all pissed off about "tax cuts for the rich", which allow people to keep some of their own money, but see nothing wrong with giving agribusiness money in the form of subsidies. The Dims solution to our energy crisis is seizing money from oil companies to throw down a rathole of "alternative energy".
I'm a SRF© and since January of 2001, when Bush took office, I've seen my net worth rise by 50%. No damage here.
The bard of the Garden State is known for his lyrics about the struggles of working-class Americans, particularly in the economically ravaged factory towns of the Northeast.
Yep! Bruce, those are the folks that Jug Hussein Ears said were bitter and cling to Bibles and guns. Your hero insulted all of those people you say you support. But then, you are an elitist rock star. It's only natural that you support an elitist condescending snob.
John McRINO came under fire for his bitter comments.
“You go into these big cities in California, and, like a lot of big cities along both coasts of this great nation, you’ve got a multitude of Starbucks baristas with Ph.D’s in philosophy who can’t understand why the world doesn’t conform to their utopian vision,” said McCain. “So it’s not surprising that at a time when their country is the world’s sole superpower, using its military to fight a just war against Islamic terrorism, and its citizenry is renewing their faith in Christianity, they get bitter and cling to hopeless causes like partial-birth abortion, multi-culturalism, and the rehabilitation of serial killers.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wish I could write stuff like that!
Michael sent me this.
I bet this guy is bitter. Look at him clinging to his gun.
Since I've been bitter lately and I've spent a lot of time clinging to my gun and my cars, Sandy suggested I change the name of this blog from Grouchy Old Cripple to Bitter Old Cripple. Thanks Jug Hussein Ears for making me so bitter.
Yep! There's gonna be a Blown-Eyed Blodger meet in the Blown-Star state. More details here. And yes, I'll be there with my guitar and kazoo.
Free panties? WTF?
My ornamental cherry is almost done blooming.
My brother-in-law sent me a neat video with these comments.
My son's generation has been driving virtual cars in virtual races for years. Can't quite see why the automotive industry wants to go to the expense of inserting a car between the programmer and the user.Oh! Yes! I forgot. The "Nanny Statists" need someone to show how
capably the car can be managed with technology. Now we can all become
passengers in cars safely controlled on public roads by state or
nationally licensed technology.And think of the savings NASCAR can realize. No need for drivers and
they can get cheaper software 'cuz they only need to be programmed for
left turns!
Damn that Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW! I normally have my veggie garden in by now, but with all the global warming going on, it's been too cold to work out in the yard. I did do some prep work one day last week. I finally got my tomato bed prepared today. I still have to do two more beds.
I have four raised beds out on the Great Patio of Dunwoody. I use three of them for veggies and one for my compost heap, which I move every year. As a good farmer I practice crop rotation.
The compost dude (can't remember his name but he was in the paper the other day) wouldn't like the way I do my compost heap. I never turn it over periodically like he recommends. I just let it sit. I use it for mulching my plants to keep the weeds down. There is some decaying. My soil gets richer every year. I can tell by the depth of the top soil and all the worms.
I have about 1/3 of my berm weeded and ready for pine straw. I'll get some tomato plants this weekend. I prolly can't plant on Saturday as it is supposed to rain. I'm hoping the global warming is over and we won't have any more freezes. It snowed in the North Georgia mountains on Monday.
This global warming really sucks!
So let's get this straight!
My mom was a fortune teller who named me after Sir Edmund Hillary seven years before he climbed Mount Everest.
I wanted to join the Marines but they wouldn't let me because my vision was so bad. That's why I wasn't able to be an astronaut.
I made $100,000.00 trading cattle futures. All I needed to do was read the Wall Street Journal.
I dodged sniper fire in Bosnia.
I've been duck hunting and I've killed my share of ducks.
And I can drink every man in here under the table!
Holy crap! How did my eyes get crossed?
Thanks to CharlieB.
Update: I must of been bitter and clinging to one of my guns. I neglected to title this post.
I took off Monday and drove up to Lake Carolina to go sailing with my bitter brother-in-law Ryan who clings to his guns and my bitter sister, Sherry who clings to her religion. I'm bitter and I cling to my cars. Drove the new BMW.
I realized after I got there that I had neglected to pack one of my meds and I was pretty bitter about that.
They did have Stoli and olives so that helped with some of the bitterness.
Sherry cooked some chili and we had wine with the meal. That helped with the bitterness as well.
I didn't sleep well Monday night and I was pretty bitter about that.
We drove over to Lake Murray to go sailing and it turned out that it was too windy too sail. Ryan and Sherry have a Flying Scot, named Single Malt, and it's an open cockpit boat. If I weren't a crip, we could have managed it, but in those conditions, I would have needed to have been a lot more mobile that I am.
I learned how to sail X boats on the Mississippi and they're similar to the Flying Scot. The crew has to be able to move fast to get on the high side when tacking. In the wind conditions on Tuesday, it would have been easy to dump me off the boat, so we bagged it.
Sherry wanted me to stay another day, but since I didn't have one of my pain meds (and I was pretty bitter about that), I drove home today.
My cleaning lady was there when I arrived, so I've got a nice clean house. Can't be bitter about that.
Her vacuum cleaner was broken. She was pretty bitter about that, but mine works so she was able to vacuum.
Geez! Jug Hussein Ears was right. Everyone is bitter!
My Photoshop wizard Matt made this for me.
Be vewwy vewwy qwiet! Hillary and I are hunting ducks!
54. Hows that for a number? Now let's put percent after it. 54%. That's how many people will graduate from Atlanta public schools this year. They had a very disturbing article about this in last Thursday's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation. Unfortunately, it is not available on their website. Maybe they're ashamed of this alarming number.
The crux of the matter is that we need to throw more money at this problem. The Atlanta school system is currently throwing about $12K per student at this problem. I got news for you guys. It ain't the money!
OK. How do I talk about this without sounding like a racist? Most of these students who are not graduating are black. These are the people who are gonna wind up on welfare or gonna wind up in jail. What is wrong with this picture? Where are the black "leaders" who will address this problem?
Listen. I don't want these people to wind up on welfare or in jail. I want these people to stay in school and get an education. I want these people to achieve the American dream. I have stated many times that if the KKK had designed a plan to create a black underclass of poor uneducated blacks they couldn't have done a better job than the Dimocrat Party and Lyndon Johnson's Great Fucking Society.
What are we hearing from Jug Hussein Ears, Thunder Rodent Thighs, and (until he dropped out) the Breck Boy? More poverty programs. You don't solve poverty by giving poor people money! Jesus H. Christ! I am so tired of this bullshit. You wanna know how to solve poverty? Read any of my posts on poverty. I'll save you the time. Here are GOC's Three Simple Rules.
1. Stay in school and get an education. Learn to read and write English. That does not mean Spanish, French, German, Italian, Thai, or Ebonics. Bilingual education, like most liberal ideas, does more harm than good. And you assholes who think teaching blacks in that made up language called Ebonics, are sentencing the people you are trying to help to perform menial jobs for the rest of their lives. And don't just get a high school education. Go to college. If you cannot afford college, go to junior college. If you can't afford that, go to technical school. And if you cannot afford that, join the military. The military has some good schools. I learned electronics in the Navy. Also, when you get out, the military will give you money for college. Some people can go to college when in the military. And the military for some people (not for me, I was too much of a smartass) will teach them discipline.
2. Get a part time job while in school. Bag groceries. Flip burgers. Cut lawns. This is not demeaning. It teaches something called the work ethic.
3. Don't have children you cannot afford.
It's that simple. It works for over 95% of the people who follow those rules.
But back to the schools. Every year useful idiot John Lewis leads a bunch of people over the Edmund Pettis Bridge in Selma Alabama to celebrate when he got his ass kicked by some racist Alabama cops. Congrats John. You marched with MLK. You were an icon of the civil rights movement. La dee frickin' dah! What was that? Forty years ago? Quit living in the past. Why don't you look to the future?
Rather than leading symbolic marches across bridges why aren't you in inner city classrooms preaching to children the value of an education? That's what I want to see black "leaders" doing.
Rather than preaching bullshit about racist rich crackers like me holding down poor blacks you should be preaching to black children that if they stay in school and get an education they can get rich too. Doing well in school is not "acting white".
When I was working as an instructor for IBM, IBM had a school outreach program where IBM volunteers would speak in inner city schools. One of my fellow instructors did this often. He was the son of a Mississippi sharecropper. He learned electronics in the Air Force and got a job with IBM fixing computers. He eventually became a hardware instructor. That's where I met him. He knew the value of an education. This was back in the 80's. He had nothing but contempt for Jesse Jackson and recognized him for the RWPP that he was. He knew that success did not mean depending on the gummint but getting off your ass and getting an education.
54%. That is a crime. I have not heard any black politician in Atlanta addressing this other than saying that we are not spending enough money. The problem can be fixed. Unfortunately none of our current crop of black "leaders" will do what needs to be done to fix the problem.
54%. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and 46% of the minds are going to waste.
I finished my taxes over a month ago. Now it's time to write the checks. Because I'm a SRF© and have investment income, I get to make estimated payments quarterly, so I just wrote a check for what I still owe for 2007 and my first 2008 quarterly payment.
This is just one of the may things that piss me off about our tax system. If you under-withhold or under-estimate by a certain amount the gummint hits you with a penalty. Usually you can get away without paying it. But if you over-withhold or over-estimate, the gummint gets an interest free loan from you.
Of course there are other things that piss me off about our tax code. It is ludicrous that the average taxpayer has to hire someone to do his/her taxes because our tax system is way too complicated. Put me in charge for one day and I'll fix it. Here are the three things I would do.
1. Every member of Congress has to do his/her taxes without a tax accountant, a tax prep company, or tax software. That would simplify the system right there.
2. End withholding and estimated tax payments. Everyone would have to write a check to the IRS every April 15 for the full amount that they owe. There would be none of this bullshit when you ask someone how much they had to pay in taxes and they reply, "I didn't have to pay anything. I got money back." Everyone would know exactly how much they had to pay in taxes and there would be a lot of squealing about it. Especially if they knew where their taxes were going, like the Woodstock Museum in New York and other earmarks by our freespending politicans.
3. Election day would be April 16.
Bam! Tax system simplified.
From Richard in honor of April 15, a day early.
A truck flipped over on the highway, spilling a load of tacks. The driver got out and tried to warn other motorists. But soon there were cars with flat tires all over the highway. Before long, the police arrived. Just then, a woman pulled up. “What’s going on?” she asked a police officer. “We’re trying to find someone to pick up all these tacks,” he answered. “Well,” the woman replied,
“why don’t you just call the tacks collector?”
And a bonus.
Because it’s time to do your taxes: Income tax-time is when you test your powers of deduction.
No. Not that one. Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW.
But he really cares about the environment and reducing his carbon footprint. I guess he'll just have to buy some carbon credits from himself.
Got the following from Paul.
Type "we're fucked" into google. You've got the No. 2 spot!
So I did. He's right.
And if you read the comments on that post, you'll notice that Teresa (TDO) was just as dumb back then as she is now. "catistoric event". That's almost as good as "war mongrel". BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Gas is over $3.00 per gallon. We still have not started building new refineries and we still have not opened up ANWR or commenced new offshore drilling. Three years later and we're still fucked. At least my new BMW gets over 30 miles to the gallon. And the Dow has not gone below 10,000.
Damn this global warming! I usually put in my garden in the second week of April. Here it is, and it's been too chilly to prepare my beds. I'm hoping to plant next weekend.
Tomorrow, I'm going to South Carolina to go sailing with Ryan and Sherry. We're going sailing Tuesday and she told me there's a hard freeze warning! C'mon people! This is April. Where is all this global warming Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW is talking about?
I'm sure that there will be people who say that Van Halen isn't metal, but I think this song qualifies. But first, let's address Sammy versus Dave.
There a lot of people who simply hate Sammy Hagar. I don't know why. Every time he came to St. Louis, my buddy Cliff and I would go see him. He always put on one hell of a show. It's kinda funny that he started out with Montrose and when he went solo he took the bass player and drummer with him. The first time I saw him I was surprised that he played guitar and was pretty good. Speaking of Ronnie Montrose, have you seen him lately? The dude is bald. There are some YouTube videos of him playing with Sammy recently. Sammy is 60 now.
I've seen Van Halen twice with Dave and twice with Sammy. All four shows were great. I prefer Sammy since I think the songs he helped write were better than the songs Dave helped write. Van Halen also sold more records with Sammy than they did with Dave. But let's face it. I go to hear Eddie play guitar. He gets some really great sounds out of his guitar and he's the guy who made tapping popular. His chiming is great as well which he uses on the following song. This is my favorite Van Halen song. I listened to it a lot on the trip back from Joisey.
One of the things I like about Van Halen is they always look like they are having a lot of fun on stage. Eddie is usually smiling as if he is saying, "Watch what I can do with my guitar on this song!"
"Hey look! I got me a drill!"
A freaking drill? What next? A chainsaw? Well, why not?
This is guaranteed to piss some women off.
Dick made me do it.
Damn! Mark sent me this one just a few weeks too late.
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into
bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he
was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent."
In tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?
Another one with glasses.
And here's a bonus. A fun game you can play.
This week let's examine moral relativism and how Christiane Amanpour thinks that the waterboarding we have done to a few terrorist suspects is the same as the genocide that occurred in Cambodia after the Dimocrat Congress stabbed South Viet Nam in the back after we lost the Viet Nam War. History does repeat itself. The Dimocrats want us to lose the Iraq War which, of course, will lead to genocide in Iraq. Dimocrats: the party of genocide.
Amanpour assumes that American "waterboarding" today is exactly the same thing as the genocide of millions as perpetrated by Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge in the 1970s. Amanpour seems to think that waterboarding is the same thing as what Pol Pot did with prisoners that were "whipped raw, their fingernails were yanked out, they were hogtied to wooden bars. Prison guards mutilated women's genitals, ripped off their nipples with pliers. And worst of all, babies were ripped from their mothers' arms and slaughtered."
Yep! Seems exactly the same to me. Howza 'bout you?
So I'll give her the AOTW Award. Thanks to Bob for nominating her.
Does Lorena Bobbit work there?
Got it from Alfred.
Go here.
Almost makes you wish you would hear McCoy say, "He's dead, Jim!"
Washington —- As gasoline prices reached a record high Wednesday, Congress was told that more small businesses will be forced to declare bankruptcy unless the government regulates the price of gas.Witnesses at a House Small Business Committee hearing called for government price controls and said it is unfair for energy companies to make huge profits and receive tax breaks while consumers suffer.
"We need to limit the price of fuel on a weekly basis. The government needs to help us with the gas costs rising so we can at least budget for the coming week and know the price will remain stable," said Michael Graff, owner of Michael Graff Trucking in Natrona Heights, Pa.
Hello! Were any of you fuckheads alive during the Nixon, Ford, and Carter administrations? Do you realize that price controls never work? Do you want gas shortages and gas lines?
I'm sorry that you guys are having problems with your businesses. Maybe you should have demanded Congress open up ANWR and offshore drilling. Hmmmmm? China is drilling off the Gulf Coast and they are not as environmentally conscious as we are. They are taking our oil because the buttheads in Congress won't let us drill.
Maybe you should have demanded that we build more oil refineries. We haven't built a new one in over 30 years and the ones we have are running at full capacity. Because of that we have to import diesel fuel.
Maybe you should demand that we come up with a blend for the entire country rather than the multiple blends that have been mandating by the gummint.
Maybe you ought to take Econ 101. Then you would know about the law of supply and demand. World demand has gone up due to the emerging economies of China and India. If demand goes up and supply remains the same, the price goes up. Happens every time. And the rat bastard commies Dimcrats always try to circumvent the law of supply and demand with bullshit like price controls with absolutely no success but that sure doesn't stop them from tying.
Also Econ 101 will explain the difference between profit and profit margin. It sounds like the oil companies are making obscene profits. That's what the asswipe politicians want you to think. But when you look at the money invested to achieve those profits it turns out that the profit margins of the oil companies are around 10%. There are many companies that have higher profit margins than that. Microsoft comes to mind. Are they gouging? Hmmmm. Maybe that's a bad example.
What we are seeing in the oil portion of the energy sector is gonna get worse. We have ecotards blocking the building of coal fired plants and nuke plants because we sure don't want to piss off Gaia. We have already had rolling blackouts in California. They want power but not the power plants.
I got news for you assholes. Wind and solar are not the answer. Solar cannot compete cost wise and the ecotards are pissed because wind turbines kill birds. We sure don't want to kill Tweetie. Also we have people like the Floater who don't want wind turbines where they can see them.
Even if we opened up ANWR and drilling off the coast and started building refineries, it wouldn't solve the problem today, but this is stuff that should have been started years ago. So why didn't the Republicans do this seven years ago when they controlled everything? They tried. Unfortunately, they did not have enough votes in the Senate to prevent a filibuster.
With the Dimnocrats running Congress and soon winning the presidency look for the return of the Jimmah Carter years. Jug Hussein Ears is gonna be the black Jimmah Carter. We will have a windfall profits tax which will do nothing to solve the problem but will feel good because we'll be punishing those eeeeeee-vil oil companies who are making those "obscene profits". Gas prices will continue to rise. Oooops! They won't because we'll return to price controls. That means we'll have gas shortages and gas lines. Been there. Done that. Saw the movie. Got the T-shirt.
History does repeat itself.
CharlieB sent me the following picture and asked me to caption it. Now I'm not so good at captioning, but I know my readers are.
I STG the fish I caught was this big.
or
I STG, my nose got this long before Bill Sawed it off. (See below)
Peggy U. sent me this article.
New Delhi: Establishing a link between climate change and mental health, the World Health Organisation has said extreme weather conditions like floods, droughts and natural calamities can lead to psychiatric illnesses.
Yep! Just look at Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW. He thinks he's the Global Warming Messiah.
"Psychosocial illnesses are a part of the various health issues associated with climate change," Poonam Khetrapal Singh, Deputy Regional Director, WHO, said.
GMAFB! This shit is really getting ridiculous!
Anticipating that severe flooding may become more frequent due to global warming, a WHO report said that independent studies in cyclone-affected Orissa and a flooded town in England has shown that post-traumatic stress disorder syndromes of different severity in affected people even after an year.
As if we don't have enough junk science with "climate change", we are now having spinoff junk science. Here's your opportunity to get in on the ground floor. Be the first shrink in your city to specialize in PTSD relating to climate change. Wonder if there's gonna be franchise fees involved?
I'm sorry. I can't read anymore of this drivel. Read the rest at your own peril.
I'll bet my CDSM© wished this drug was around when I was working for him. Maybe not. He didn't know the difference between cynicism and sarcasm. He classified one of my e-mails (The one that essentially ended my career) as cynical when even a third grade pissant could tell that it was blatantly sarcastic. I got my point across, took a spear for my team, and prevented an incredibly stupid policy change. Hey! I enjoyed being arrogant and sarcastic.
Besides being arrogant and sarcastic, my last three years at IBM I laughed a lot. It drove my CDSM© up the wall. I've actually been offered a job as a contractor doing what I did when I worked there and it was approved by my CDSM©. One of my old IBM buddies told me I should go back just to piss him off. Not gonna happen. I'm having way too much fun as a retiree.
Got these from OBG.
Pretty much caught up. Gone through most of the mail, so it's time to continue my trip report.
I spent the first night in Richmond and drove the rest of the way to Princeton on Saturday. Miss Garmin routed me right through DC. I drove right by the Jefferson Memorial and the freeway dumped me off at a stop light. I turned left and was on the Washington Baltimore Parkway. Then it was time to get out my wallet. Tolls. Tolls. Tolls. Drive a few miles and hit a tunnel, pay a toll. Drive a few more miles and pay a toll to cross a bridge. Get on the New Jersey Turnpike, pay another toll. As far as I know, we only have one toll road in Georgia and that's in Atlanta which is Georgia 400 from I-285 to I-85. The only reason we have that is because the libtards in Atlanta didn't want it and didn't want to pay for it so the compromise was to make it a toll road. You pay 50 cents.
Got up to Princeton around 1:00 and checked into my motel. Of course it was on the other side of the road and this road has no left turns. None. It's just like Highway 9 in Poughkeepsie. WTF do these states have against left turns. You have to make a right and a left and that's only if that intersection supports that. Naturally, where I made my right it didn't. The next light didn't allow a U turn on left so I wound up making three left turns to get back on Highway 1. Aaaarrrggghhh!
I drove into Princeton to see if I could find the place where we were having the meet. Wanted to make sure I was able to get there and back to my hotel. It was a pretty drive. I drove right by the body of water where you see people sculling at the start of House. The Naval Academy had a team up there working out.
Went back to my motel and changed. Got back to the site early so I could find a close parking place. Scored one right around the corner. Hung out outside for a while and did some people watching. Two young girls with cameras came by and asked if they could take my picture. They were in a photography class and were shooting with film! Black and white, even. I let them take a picture of my T-shirt.
My sister likes to give me T-shirts and she found this one at Stone Hill Winery in Hermann Missouri.
I rolled into the Triumph Brewery and found out the room we were using was upstairs. They had to take me into an elevator and I still had to walk down some stairs.
The first person I met was Fausta who did all the work setting this thing up. I wound up sitting next to her at dinner and she told me some very interesting things about New Jersey politics that for some reason or another never seem to make it to the LSM. Could the LSM be a bit biased and have an agenda? Naw! Never happen.
The next person I met was this lovely lady who told me the only reason she came was because I would be there. Aw shucks. What a nice thing to say.
I got to meet the Sad Old Goth dude. He didn't look sad or old.
I'm not gonna get all the participants in here, because I didn't meet everyone and this was a blog meet where I only knew a few people and I'm getting old so I didn't retain all the names of the people I met. The people I do remember get on the People I Have Met and Partied With blog roll. If you are not on it and were at the event, drop me an e-mail and I'll add you to it.
We had a person who was not a blogger but coments on blogs. That's the thing about these meets. You don't have to be a blogger to attend. Long time commenter, Kerrcarto came to the Blowneyed Blodger Meetup in Kerrville last year. If we have one this year, I'm sure he'll be there again.
Note to self. Contact Supergurl and see if the summer meet is on.
The lovely Kate was there and spent a few minutes with me.
Of course, Jimbo was there with his bodyguard Kenny. They had already started hitting the chocolate vodka. If you ever drink that stuff be very very careful. It sneaks up on you. And when I first saw them we went right into the Soprano's Ohhhh! Eeeeey!
Jimbo and Kenny had picked up Teresa (The Smart One) and the Wise-ass Joo-ette from Brooklyn who wore an interesting T-shirt.
Jimbo and Kenny gave Teresa and Erica a tour of Newark.
I got to meet The Baron. I also got to meet TigerHawk. I know I met others and I'm sorry I don't remember. Old age strikes.
The Elderly Brothers didn't play. No one got drunk enough to demand it.
This was a classier group of people that we Blowneyes are used to. Some of the people were even dressed up. Even Jimbo wore a shirt rather than his normal FUHRC T-shirt. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Kenny wore a flowered shirt in honor of the absent Elisson.. Alas, he didn't have a fedora.
Most of the Blowneyed meets are usually over a weekend and he have more time to mingle. There was a brunch Sunday morning, but I don't eat breakfast so I hit the road. Wanted to try and make it back in one day.
I topped off my tank right before leaving Princeton and hit the trip odometer. It was 8:15. I stopped at Mickey D's for a cup of coffee to go and hit the road. Miss Garmin had me take a different route home. I skipped the New Jersey Turnpike. Why didn't she bring me up that way? She also routed me a different way through Baltimore and DC. It was a better route. Once again, why didn't she bring me up that way?
I made one gas stop. My new Beemer gets over 30 MPG!
New Beemer? What's up with that?
About three weeks ago I traded in my 1992 325i for a 2005 BMW 325i. I wanted to get a brand new one but I also have to put a new master bathroom in my house this year (plus other stuff). One of the reasons I attended Springfest (outside of the opportunity to meet more interesting bloggers) was to see how my new baby did on the road. She drives great! Pictures of the new car in a later post.
It rained all the way to Richmond Virginia. From there to Durham North Carolina it was overcast. An idiot almost ran me off the road. At 5:00 I was around 200 miles away from home. Seemed a shame to stop since I was almost home so I didn't. I pulled into my driveway at 8:05 PM and the trip odometer read 840 miles. Do the math.
I've actually slowed down as I've gotten older. At one point two cars went whizzing by doing 90. In my younger days I would have followed them for a few miles. I didn't go any faster than 85. I usually had my cruise control on 80. This speedometer reads 3 MPH than actual. I checked that out with Miss Garmin at the start of the trip. So I was driving around 77 most of the way.
Had a great time and I'm looking forward to doing it again.
Boortz had an item on his site about a condo association in Florida. It brings to mind the problem I had with the Homeowner Association Nazi in my subdivision. I won the battle by the way. It helps to be an asshole when you are dealing with other assholes. I'm the biggest asshole so I usually win.
Anyway, Boortz had this suggestion:
once a year we ought to chose one condominium association and one neighborhood homeowner's association at random ... and execute them on a Saturday night pay-per-view extravaganza. I think we have a candidate.
Amen!
Betcha thought I was out of these didn't ya?
Catching up and will write more later, but here are some pictures from the party. I stole this one of Kenny and me. Kenny is Jimbo's bodyguard, and since Elisson wasn't there, he figgered he would wear a flowery shirt in his honor.
The T-Shirt I was wearing says, Drink Outside The Box. It was a present from my sister.
I guess I won't have to quit drinking then. Come to think of it, I would have to be drinking to consider kissing one of them. What a collection of two baggers! What are two baggers? That's where you put a bag over your head in case the bag you put over her head falls off.
Thanks to Pres.
From Richard.
A young man was seeing two women. He couldn’t decide which to marry. So he visited a therapist. The therapist asked him to describe the women. The man said one was a great writer. The other made extraordinary baked goods. The therapist thought for a moment, and then said, “Ah-ha! You can’t decide if you want to marry ...
... for batter or for verse.”
This for Erica, the Joo-ette from Brooklyn.
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From Mike I got this.
PALO ALTO, Calif. - Palo Alto police are looking for a bank robber who favors a decidedly slow-speed getaway vehicle — an electric wheelchair. Police said a man in his 60s with gray hair and a beard held up the Wachovia Bank branch at the Stanford Shopping Center late this afternoon with a black handgun.After the stickup, he left in his wheelchair and was last seen motoring down a nearby street toward El Camino Real, a major thoroughfare.
Witnesses say the man's legs were wrapped in bandages and his right leg was sticking straight out while he zoomed away.
Police are looking for a white Ford van that the suspect may have been hoisted into after the robbery.
Investigators don't know whether the wheelchair was just a prop or whether the suspect was truly disabled.
I was waiting for someone to say, "He won't get far on foot."
To the tune of Puppy Love (for those of you old enough to remember it.)
And they call it puppy love
Oh, I guess they just can't see
How a young half-black apprentice
Can inspire someone like me.
Yes, they say "infatuation"
'cause he's just an empty suit
Tell them all, oh please just tell them
That such doubt does not compute.
I swoon each time I hear his voice,
His promises of change.
I know he'll fix our government
And world-wide peace arrange.
So let's vote for, vote for B H O,
He's a novice, but he's sweet.
He'll stop all the wars forever,
And he speeds up my heartbeat.
Yes, I know he's never governed,
Or accomplished anything.
Yet he has such great charisma
That it makes me want to sing.
He just makes me want to sing,
Even though it's all lying,
He's for change, and that's something,
And white guilt it's pardoning.
For those of you not old enough to remember.
From DBolsman.
The Blonde & The Horse
A blonde decides to try riding horseback, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along,seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse and tries to throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head strikes the ground over and over again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when....
...the Wal-Mart manager sees her and shuts off the damn horse.
Speaking of Wal-Mart here's a bonus blonde joke from MoK.
A blonde was weed-eating her yard and
accidentally cut off the tail of her cat, which was hiding in the grass.
She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to Wal-Mart.
Why Wal-Mart?
Well duh,
Wal-Mart is the largest retailer in the world!
Obviously smart since she's wearing glasses.
From Richmond Virginia. Had a nice drive. Almost got hit driving through Greenville South Carolina by a female real estate agent yakking on a cellphone. That would have put a great start to the trip.
So who's the AOTW? Why not Ted Turner? He's the latest global warming nutjob. On addressing global warming.
Not doing it will be catastrophic. We'll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals.
Holy freaking crap! Cannibals? WTF is Ted smoking? Jesus H. Christ! This is a man who took a UHF TV station and turned it into the first cable super station. He started CNN which was the beginning of 24 hour news. He won the America's Cup. He's a billionaire! He used to be a smart man, but I think maybe his kids might want to check him for Alzheimer's. Maybe being married to Jane Fonda for as long as he was messed him up. He's always been a little loopy, but even Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW hasn't predicted that the temperature would go up 8 degrees in 40 years.
Ted. Get to your doctor. Have yourself checked out. In the meantime, you are this week's AOTW. Here's your award.
Tomorrow I'm off to Princeton New Jersey for Spring Blogfest East where I'll get together with Jimbo (the elderly half of the Elderly Brothers), his bodyguard Ken, Erica (the Brooklyn Joo-ette), Teresa (the smart one), and new peeps I've never met before. Yes, I am taking my PC along. There will be Saturday Boobage.
Yesterday I took this picture of part of my berm.
Check out how beautiful the thrift looks in full bloom. Yeah. I know. I need to do some weeding. Eventually the thrift will take over the entire berm. It would be a lot closer if it didn't lose a fight with wild strawberries two years ago.
"You're going to Baghdad? Oh. There's shitloads in there dude."
Many readers.
Obviously another punk with a gun.
Thunder Rodent Thigh's has another 3:00 AM phone call ad. This isn't it.
Many readers.
Thanks to Dick.
Well I guess we know who Jug Hussein Ears thinks is the enemy. Since I seldom watch any TV news, I don't know if Fox is in the tank for McRINO or not.
Here's what I do know.
ABC is on Thunder Rodent Thighs' team. They were the ones who broke the Jerry Wright is a bigot story.
CBS is in the tank for Jug Hussein Ears. They were the ones who pointed out that Thunder Rodent Thighs is a liar, something that Americans with brains already knew. The people who didn't or who were in denial about either Thunder Rodent's and Bubba's' inability to tell the truth about anything are called Dimocrats (or Dan Rather and Teresa (TDO)).
MSNBC is on Jug Hussein Ear's side. Jesus H. Christ! I swear that Chris Matthews musta had a big ol' boner when he was describing Jug Hussein Ear's speech. To hear Chris tell it it was the best speech in American politics since FDR's "All we have to fear is fear itself" speech.
Yannow, I think I'm gonna have to start using abbreviations. TRT for Thunder Rodent Thighs and JHE for Jug Hussein Ears. There will be less typing involved, and for me, the less typing the better.
I think Keith Olberman pees in his pants every time he talks about JHE. Since hardly amyone watches MSNBC anyway, their endorsement doesn't matter. My friend Michael is one of the few who does watch MSNBC, but he does it for comic relief. The only good part of MSNBC is Norah O'Donnell.
I guess since MSNBC is for JHE, its parent NBC must be as well. That's just a guess.
I don't know about PBS or NPR. About the only time PBS is worth watching is during their pledge drives. That's when they put the good stuff on. Thank you TiVo! I never watch their news. I'll listen to NPR news headlines, but I never listen to All Things Distorted or Morning Sedition.
So there you have it. The only network that might possibly be for McRINO is Fox. The rest will be for whoever the Dimocrat turns out to be. TRT (or Rocky as she is now calling herself in Pennsylvania) is not looking too good anymore but she promises to fight on until the convention. Please! Please! That will make the Dimocrat Circus Convention fun to watch.
After the Dimocrat nominee is picked, McRINO will find out just how many "friends" he really has in the LSM as they will turn on him like a school of sharks who smell blood in the water.
Well this oughta piss off Teresa (TDO) when she takes a break from insulting my family.
Columbia (AP) - People as young as 18 can now buy and own handguns in South Carolina. Governor Mark Sanford signed a bill into law Wednesday to lower the minimum age from 21."People who are old enough to fight and die in the military should be able to purchase handguns, and the bill will put our laws more in line with those of other states," Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer said.
Let's hear it for South Carolina!
The law went into effect immediately.
No time like the present.
By the way, besides my nephew being a punk with a gun, my sister and her husband are also punks with guns as they both have CCW permits. I'm a punk with a gun as well although I haven't gotten around to getting a CCW permit, which pisses my sister off to no end.
Thanks to Mike for the link.
Dick sent me this story.
A German town is subsiding after authorities drilled underground in order to harness green energy. Machine for drilling geothermal boreholes A drilling machine used for geothermal boreholesStaufen, in the Black Forest, was proud of its innovative geothermal power plan that was supposed to provide environmentally-friendly heating.
We love the environment.
But only two weeks after contractors drilled down 460ft to extract heat from below the earth, large cracks have appeared in buildings as the town centre subsided about a third of an inch (8mm).
Uh oh. They must have pissed off Gaia.
According to Robert Breder, an engineer, the problems began when geothermal probes penetrated an underground reservoir. As the water seeped out and the pressure fell, upper layers of earth started to collapse, causing the surface - and the town - to sink.
Got them sinking town blues.
Staufen's 8,000 residents are increasingly worried because repair work on the buildings cannot start until the town stops sinking.
Like I said, "Got them sinking town blues." Sounds like the title of a neat song. Maybe I should write it.
Michael Benitz, mayor of Staufen, said: "Will the earth continue to sink or is it going to stop? If it stops now, then we will have got away lightly. But if it continues, it could turn out to be quite bad."
Ya think?
A spokesman for Staufen council said: "The community was so proud of the environmentally-friendly geothermal energy project that it would be a painful irony if that was the cause for this incredible occurrence."
Maybe they could get Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW to say a prayer to Gaia.
Yeah. I know. He ain't running, but this is sure to piss off Teresa (TDO) who thinks that he is a "war mongrel". This is like when I went shooting with my nephew and brother-in-law, and said nephew blasted away with his shotgun while saying, "Anything that pisses off Sarah Brady makes me happy!" Gotta love the lad!
Yep! It's time for some words of wisdom from The Vent in today's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.
The only people upset with Obama's pastor are white folks who have never so much as had lunch with an African-American.
Why you ignorant stupid tool! You know not of what you speak. I've eaten many meals with blacks. (I'm sorry. I refuse to use the term African American, but that's a rant for another day.)
I served in the United States Navy and ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with blacks. I worked for IBM for 31.5 years and I ate many lunches, breakfasts, and dinners with black co-workers. I partied with my black coworkers. I had some of them to my house for dinner. They had me to their houses as well.
I went to an integrated high school and ate lunch with fellow black students.
I swam at the municipal swimming pool with blacks and <sarcasm>geez, was I surprised that there was no black ring around the pool!</sarcasm>
How dare you make such a stupid comment you fucking dickwad!
Jerry Wright is a bigot, plain and simple. And you sound like one as well. I know blacks who were offended by his "Goddamn America!" and if you're not one of them, you are just as bad as he is. It's bigots like Jerry Wright, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and you who are hindering improving race relations in this country.
Reading a stupid vent like that tells me where your head is at. It's firmly lodged up your bigoted racist ass. You've got a chip on your shoulder as big as a two by four. You prolly have a shitty job (if you even have a job) and blame your failure on whitey. People like you make me sick!
Just go fuck yourself!
Hey Jimbo! I think this guy was looking for you.
So I was folding my laundry and listening to National Proletariat Radio...
WTF were you doing listening to NPR? They're a bunch of rat bastard commies.
I listen to classical music during the day on the local NPR affiliate. When I left my bedroom, music was on. When I returned two hours later with the laundry, All Things Distorted was on and they had a segment about the high gas prices.
Oh woe! It's a disaster! The poor truckers! They're not making any money! We're all gonna die!
And then they had some rat bastard commie politician come on and her solution was to penalize the oil companies for all of their "obscene profits". Obviously this bitch does not know what a profit margin is or doesn't care. Neither do the ignorant dipshits who voted for her.
Jesus H. Fucking Christ! (Maybe that will give the old Cuss-o-Meter a nudge. Hey! I'm up over 21%!) I am really getting tired of this manufactured crisis. Yes, manufactured by the Dimocrat Party.
We have not built a new refinery in over 30 years, (Thank a Dimocrat!) and the ones we do have are running at full capacity.
We are not allowed to drill in ANWR (Thank a Dimocrat!) or off the coast (Thank a Dimocrat!). China, which has a worse environmental record than our oil companies is gonna start drilling off of our coast and take our fucking oil! (Thank a Dimocrat!)
So let's penalize the oil companies, because the Dimocrat fucking Party will not allow them to drill for fucking oil! And now, the Dimocrat fucking Party, which was voted into office because the Republican fucking Party started acting like fucking Dimocrats (Take that Cuss-O-Meter!)is only gonna make matters worse and is gonna blame everything on the oil companies. These assholes make me want to puke!
And by the way, ethanol is not the fucking solution. This ethanol bullshit is not helping and is only making the price of corn go through the roof, which makes other food products increase as well. (Fortunately, since I'm an SRF© I don't usually look at food prices. If I want sumpin', I buy it. Filet Mignon 19.99 a pound? Give me an 8 ounce cut please.) Corn is one of the worst things you can use to make ethanol anyway. Ethanol is a boondoggle for agribusiness. We can thank both parties for that.
These politicians can fuck up a wet dream and do. You want gas prices to go down? Take the leashes off the oil companies and let them do what they do best: Drill for fucking oil! Open up ANWR tomorrow! It should have been done five years ago. Start drilling off the Gulf Coast. Do you want China taking our fucking oil?
None of this shit is gonna happen. We're gonna have a windfall profits tax, just like we did in the 70's. It didn't work then, it won't work now. President Jug Hussein Ears true to his commie beliefs, will probably try to regulate gas prices. It didn't work in the 70's. It won't work now. I've seen this movie before.
I lived through the 70's. I remember Jimmah Carter. Jug Hussein Ears is gonna be the black Jimmah Carter. Mark my words.
The black Jimmah Carter.
But we'll have a lot of hope and change.
Thunder Rodent Thighs, whose signature issue is health care, is not paying the premiums for her staff.
Among the debts reported this month by Hillary Rodham Clinton’s struggling presidential campaign, the $292,000 in unpaid health insurance premiums for her campaign staff stands out.
Oh yeah, she has other unpaid debts.
Clinton’s camp has put off paying bills for months, earning campaign a reputation as something of a deadbeat in some small-business circles. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s cash-strapped presidential campaign has been putting off paying hundreds of bills for months — freeing up cash for critical media buys but also earning the campaign a reputation as something of a deadbeat in some small-business circles.A pair of Ohio companies owed more than $25,000 by Clinton for staging events for her campaign are warning others in the tight-knit event production community — and anyone else who will listen — to get their cash upfront when doing business with her. Her campaign, say representatives of the two companies, has stopped returning phone calls and e-mails seeking payment of outstanding invoices. One even got no response from a certified letter.
Maybe she ought invest in some more cattle futures.
Thanks to all of my readers new and old. I set three records yesterday: My highest daily hit count, my best week hit count, and my best month hit count. Thanks for dropping by and reading the crap I post on this blog. Thanks for commenting and helping me bitchslap trolls. Thanks for all the links to blogging fodder. I couldn't do this on a daily basis without you.
Warm-monger. Found via Don Surber.
Global warming is heating right back up, with ex-Senator, ex-Vice President, ex-Presidential candidate, best-selling author, Oscar winner, Nobel Peace Prize winner, and all-around creep Al Gore Jr. announcing some new initiative that will cost a mere $300 million. Some kind of education thingie to increase awareness and sensitize the hitherto clueless to the profound challenge that faces our civilization in this darkest hour of crisis. Or something.
Heh. Heh. Heh. Pope Albert I of the Church of AGW is a warm-monger. I guess Teresa (TDO) would call him a warm mongrel.
Another great anti Moo-slime rant by Pat Condell.
I only took exception to one thing in this rant and that is when he said that sumpin' should be a hate crime since I am against the principle of hate crimes. A crime is a crime no matter whether you hate someone or not.
I do think he is correct about the people 500 years from now looking back and laughing at us. They're gonna wonder why we didn't put a stop to this bullshit just like many people look back on WWII and wonder why Hitler wasn't stopped before he managed to build up his war machine. We are eventually gonna have another world war and it will make WWII look like a picnic. We could prevent that now, but liberal kumbaya singers won't let us.
