April 03, 2013

Another Triumph Of Socialism

How's that French economy doing?

March data from the French private business shows the sharpest decline since 2009, indicating the EU’s second-largest economy is entering another recession. This raises fears that the contraction of the EU economy could worsen to a 0.6% drop in 2013.

The French elected a socialist president so who could see the French economy tanking? What a shock!

The Markit financial information service says the key growth indicator, the Flash Composite Output Index - in France hit the lowest level in four years at 42.1.

Markit analysts forecast the almost 2 trillion euro economy of France will shrink by 0.7% in Q1 after losing 0.3% in the past three months.

So how did that taxing the rich at 75% work out? Not so well, so Hollande decided to tax businesses at 75%. How's that working out?

Manufacturing output in eurozone’s second-largest economy declined in March; services sector business activity declined showing the steepest fall since February. Incoming new business also decreased faster than before. Future sentiment dropped into the negative the Markit report says.

It's amazing! Socialism has failed everywhere it's been tried and there are still people on this planet (Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade, most of the Dimocrat Party, and Francois Hollande) who think that they will be the ones who will finally make it work.

We have had, and still do have, side by side comparisons. East Germany versus West Germany. North Korea versus South Korea. California versus Texas. The failures are blatant. Cuba, Zimbabwe, and now Venezuela. It's like Thomas Sowell stated: "Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it.”

Not just intellectuals. I wouldn't classify Oblunder, Biden, Speaker Blinky, Horrible Harry, and the rest of the Dimocrat Party as intellectuals. Add Francois Hollande to that list.

Posted by denny at 01:09 PM | Comments (4)

January 23, 2013

They'll Be There When They Need Us

Whom am I talking about? Why the French, of course. I read this morning that we are providing logistical support for the French in Mali. We're using C-17's to ferry troops and supplies to the French troops In Mali. We may even give them tanker support. WTF? Why? I asked Prosper about this. Just like I asked him why we overthrew Qadaffy when his fangs were pulled after he saw what happened to Saddam. About Libya, he gave some Mickey Mouse answer about how the Libyans wanted him overthrown. Well, the Shi'ites in Iraq wanted Saddam overthrown but France did everything in its power to deter us from doing that. He never gave a good answer about Libya and he won't answer about Mali. He crawled back under his rock.

Typical Frog. The French hate America until they need help from us. Even after we give them help, they still hate us. What an ungrateful bunch of booger eatin' moh-rons! But the important thing is Lance Armstrong cheated to win the French bicycle race.

Posted by denny at 12:19 PM | Comments (7)

January 16, 2013

1940 Tour de France

I had a little French troll named lance crawl out from under a rock and say that since Lance Armstrong doped during his Tour de France wins somehow I was "ass fucked". Speaking of ass fucking, check out how the Frogs are doing fighting al Qaeda in Mali. Or what about all the carbequeing going on in Paris. Or how the French economy is doing worse than ours since they elected a socialist as their prime minister. Anyhoo, AlphaDelta sent me this picture of the 1940 Tour de France.


Nice to take a break from the gun grabbers and mock the French. We're laready providing logistical support for the Frogs in Mali. I wonder how long it will be until they ask for even more help. As I always say, "The French. They'll be there when they need us."

Posted by denny at 04:59 PM | Comments (15)

April 16, 2012

Good News From France

I'm posting this for Prosper.

A Financial Times report on the “de-industrialization” of France (sub. required), and the erosion of the country’s manufacturing base took a trip to a Peugeot factory, where the new 208 is leaving the lines and gearing up for a big launch. Peugeot has been suffering financially in recent years, amid a backdrop of a declining manufacturing industry, some employees are blaming the heavy burdens of France’s welfare state.

Oh noes! Say it ain't so!

One employee alluded to the Financial Times that the additional costs of doing business in France related to social programs and benefits were making it difficult to maintain a competitive industry in the country.
“We are doing our best, that’s for sure,” says a Peugeot line manager. “We are really doing our utmost. Beyond the employment costs, we also have a lot of constraints because we don’t make people work under any conditions, unlike some countries. It is a huge constraint, but we have made enormous progress on productivity and costs even while conditions have improved.”

Looks like your "best" isn't good enough.

Peugeot’s CEO Phillipe Varin highlighted this issue, telling the FT

in 10 years the hourly cost of a worker has risen 31 per cent in France, compared with just 19 per cent in Germany, even though a French worker takes home less pay. Workers at Peugeot’s Slovakia plant cost €10 an hour, compared with €35 in France.

The workers at the Slovakia plant prolly work harder than French workers. They prolly do a better job as well.

The crux of the argument, explored in the FT article, is that French industry has profited from globalization while the worker has seen their jobs disappear. Peugeot isn’t alone in exporting jobs to low cost countries. Renault came under fire at home for setting up a Dacia plant in Morocoo, where workers are paid roughly 1/7th that of a French employee. TTAC’s initial estimation, that profitable, affordable vehicles couldn’t be made in factories that pay 1,800 euro a month and provide 5 weeks vacation, seems to be the kind of sentiment shared by many observers at Peugeot and outside the auto industry. At some point, a grand bargain between worker benefits and industrial competitiveness will have to be forged. It may not be a zero sum game, but somebody is bound to lose out – and it’s not hard to figure out who.

The French should be used to losing.

What we have here is another example of the triumph of the European socialist welfare state. This is what Jug Hussein Ears Downgrade wants us to become.

Posted by denny at 03:00 PM | Comments (6)

December 26, 2011

Viva La China

This is for our good buddy Prosper whom we haven't heard from in a while. Hope you amd the wife and kids had a Merry Christmas Prosper.

French wine growers had their finely trained noses put out of joint when they were trounced by a group of Chinese wines in a blind tasting.

The event, which took place in Beijing, lined up five French wines against five from China.

To guarantee fair play, the judges were made up of five French and five Chinese wine experts.

Four wines from the north-western Ningxia region of China beat all the wines from Bordeaux, France’s most famous wine area.

The first placed wine was a cabernet sauvignon from the Grace Vineyard Chairman’s reserve.

It was left to a 2009 Lafite Saga from the Medoc area of Bordeaux to restore Gallic pride in fifth place.

The event was reminiscent of a similar contest in 1976 between French and American wines. Known as the Judgement of Paris, there was dismay in France when Californian wines beat their French opposition.

Link courtesy of Daily Pundit.

Looks like we won't miss French wines after the French surrender to the Moo-slimes. We can drink wines from California and China. And now to add insult to injury we have this.

Despite having food, wine and scenery that are the envy of the world, a new study has revealed the French to be the most downbeat people on the planet.

The annual survey, carried out by polling institute BVA-Gallup for daily newspaper Le Parisien, spoke to the residents of 51 countries across all five continents to measure levels of optimism and pessimism.

The survey found that wealth has little to do with overall happiness, with the gloomiest people to be found in Europe while the happiest were mostly in Africa and Asia.

The unhappiest countries were in Europe, with France at the top with a negative score of 79.

Cheer up Prosper. It can't be that bad. Don't worry. When you surrender to the Moo-slimes it will be great and peaceful in your country. After all, Islam is the religion of peace.

Posted by denny at 03:02 PM | Comments (30)

August 25, 2011

Decline Of French

Haven't bashed the French for a while so it's time. The French language is declining.

Across Europe, French has gradually declined from being the lingua franca to falling behind German and English. English is spoken by 41% of Europeans, while only 19% speak French. English is now the language of business in Europe, a fact which even French ambassador for international investment Clara Gaymard was forced to admit. And French has fallen so far behind in Eastern Europe, in particular, that it is the third-most studied language, behind English and Spanish.

More people in Europe speak English than French. How do you like them apples, Prosper? This article doesn't mention that English is the language of air traffic control.

While once the language of culture, French has been pushed off the global stage. Perhaps the most symbolic example of this was in 2008 when Sebastian Tiller, the French representative at the Eurovision contest, planned to sing 'Divine' almost exclusively in English. That the French singer did not choose to represent the jealously guarded language of his country internationally came as a shock to many. This cultural decline was mirrored when New York's Metropolitan Opera decided to reject the libretto of the musical star Rufus Wainwright (who was raised in Canada), because he chose not to translate his opera into English.

The calamitous decline in French seems irreversible, even to the French. In 2008, the budget of La Francophonie, the governing body of the French language, was six million euros; in contrast, the British Council announced it would spend 150 million euros in efforts to advance English.

In any Darwinian model, a characteristic can become prominent, or it can be driven out of existence. Use of the French language has been globally dispersed, and French culture is without historical significance in many of its colonies. These are not the characteristics that increase a language's chances of survival.

English has become the lingua franca of the world. Fortunately, I'll prolly be dead by the time that English is replaced by Mandarin.

Posted by denny at 05:34 PM | Comments (16)

April 13, 2011

They'll Be There... Redux

Last month I wrote a post about the French and how much they have to depend on us to wage a successful war. By "depend on us" I mean that we have to carry the brunt of the war waging stuff. Of course, our good friend Prosper had to comment on how, unlike the Iraq War, this one was a good war because there was a coalition. Let's just forget the fact that the coalition Chimpy McHalliburton Bushitler put together was twice the size of the coalition for the 'Kinetic Military Action" against Libya. Or the fact that Iraq was in violation of seventeen UN resolutions. Or the fact that Chimpy made his case and got congressional approval before going into Iraq.

I guess by "coalition" Prosper meant that it included France. Of course, any coalition that includes France is prolly a losing coalition. It's a good thing they weren't on our side in Iraq, since we succeeded in toppling Saddam in less than a month.

Now that the rebels are losing in Libya guess what? France wants us to do more.

French Defense Minister Gerard Longuet complained Tuesday that France and Britain were carrying "the brunt of the burden" for the Libya operation. American forces are now in support, not combat roles in the airstrike campaign, and the reduced U.S. effort has made it impossible "to loosen the noose around Misurata," Longuet said.

Hey Froggy, why don't we give you dickheads the same level of support that you gave us in Iraq? Or why don't we give you the same level of support that you assholes gave us when Reagan bombed Libya and you wouldn't let us fly over your airspace?

This is your war for oil. Our country is going broke and we're already fighting two wars. Go fight it yourselves. You wanted a weaker US? You got it. Congrats! This is what it looks like. You have to fight your own fucking wars.


Posted by denny at 02:01 PM | Comments (12)

March 23, 2010

French Movies

I haven't done any French bashing in a while. Hey! Whatever happened to Prosper? Here's Rat with his opinion of French films.

Pearls Before Swine

Posted by denny at 12:14 PM | Comments (14)

July 29, 2009

1940 Tour de France

Ron sent me this rare photo of the 1940 Tour de France.


Posted by denny at 01:59 PM | Comments (23)

July 13, 2009

Say Fromage

Paul sent me this.

Paris - Faced with a fall in tourist numbers due to the financial crisis and a reputation for unfriendliness, the Paris tourist board has made a simple request to the city's residents: smile.

Good luck with that.

Visitors to Paris, the world's most visited city, have fallen 17 percent since January compared with the same period in 2008, official figures show.

Boo freaking hoo! Too freaking bad!

To counter the slump and boost revenues, the tourist board has set up stands manned by teams of "smile ambassadors" to welcome holiday makers at the city's most popular spots.

They're paying people to smile? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Wonder if they're in a union? If you don't pay us more, we'll quit smiling.

As if to heed its call, hundreds of roller-skaters formed a giant smile in Place Vendome in the city center on Sunday.

"We have to work on striking

"stiking"? Was that a Freudian slip?

and simple images.

Gotta keep it simple for the French.

There's nothing as telling as a smile," said Paul Roll, who heads the tourist board.

Getting the Parisians to smile at tourists. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

In May, a questionnaire carried out by travel site TripAdvisor found Paris to be the most over-rated city in Europe, citing its high prices and unpleasant residents.

"unpleasant residents"? Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked...

Daniel Fasquelle, founder of a tourism association, said that French from all walks of life needed to play their part.

"If we want tourism, which has generated more than 2 million jobs, to remain a major economic sector, everyone has to get behind it — professionals, elected representatives and French people," he said.

Lemme know how that works out. I remember back in the 70's when we had a recession and Art Buchwald wrote a column about how tourism was so bad that they had a program like this to try and get Americans to come back to France.

Typical French. They're always there when they need us.

Posted by denny at 10:04 PM | Comments (13)

July 10, 2009

Rude French Tourists

i haven't done any French bashing lately so I'm way overdue with this. Patrick posted this link in the comments of a previous post.

French tourists seen as world's worst: Survey

Dammit! When did that happen? I thought we Americans were the worst tourists. I guess now we have to settle for second place.

PARIS (Reuters Life!) – French tourists are the worst in the world, coming across as bad at foreign languages, tight-fisted and arrogant, according to a survey of 4,500 hotel owners across the world.

Arrogant? The French arrogant? I'm shocked!

They finish in last place in the survey carried out for internet travel agency Expedia by polling company TNS Infratest, which said French holidaymakers don't speak local languages and are seen as impolite.

Impolite? The French are impolite? I'm shocked!

"It's mainly the fact that they speak little or no English when they're abroad, and they don't speak much of the local language," Expedia Marketing Director Timothee de Roux told radio station France Info.

They're just pissed that English has become the international language. They long for the days of 100 years ago when it was French. Sorry Froggies. No one wants to speak French anymore.

The French don't go abroad very much. We're lucky enough to have a country which is magnificent in terms of its landscape and culture," he said, adding that 90 per cent of French people did their traveling at home.

Where they can be rude to other French people.

"So when they're on holiday they can be a bit stressed, they're not used to things, and this can lead them to be demanding in a way which could be seen as a certain arrogance."

Stressed? After leaving their 32 hour a week job?

French tourists are also accused of generally spending less than other nationalities when abroad.


De Roux said the French, not accustomed to leaving large tips at home where a service charge is automatically levied on restaurant bills, can seem "tight-fisted" compared with other nationalities.

They're prolly not used to the better service they get outside of France.

The Japanese ranked top of the Best Tourist survey, with the British and the Germans judged the best of the Europeans.

And the Americans? The article doesn't say.

But French tourists received some consolation for their poor performance, finishing third after the Italians and British for dress sense while on holiday.

The Brits dress better than the French. BVWAHAHAHAHAHA! They prolly smell better as well. Brits actually bathe.

Posted by denny at 12:42 PM | Comments (14)

May 05, 2009

Cinco De Mayo

Dudley1 sent me this cartoon just for Prosper.

Arlo & Janis

Posted by denny at 12:38 PM | Comments (9)

January 06, 2009

French Yutes

So what's goong on with those rowdy French yutes? Got this link from Darth Unix.

At least 445 cars were torched over the night of New Year's Eve in France, a 20 percent rise on last year, but there were relatively few clashes with police, the Interior Ministry and police said on Thursday.

That's prolly because French police are afraid of the French yutes.

Car burnings are regular occurrences in France but the registering the New Year's Eve total has become something of a tradition since they achieved symbolic status in the violent rioting that shook many of the country's poor suburbs in 2005.

I detect sumpin' missing from this story. Who was rioting in the poor suburbs back in 2005? Hmmm? Could they have been Moo-slimes? I wonder who was burning them cars this year?

With riots in Athens heightening worries that the economic crisis might spark a resurgence of the violence seen in the run-down "banlieues" then, 35,000 police were mobilised on New Year's Eve, some 7,000 more than last year.

Yet that still didn't stop those cars from burning.

Officials were also on guard against possible attacks after five sticks of dynamite were left in a Paris department store just before Christmas by a so-far unidentified group demanding a withdrawal of French troops from Afghanistan.

We shoot off fireworks, French yutes blow up stuff and burn cars.

"There were few 'contacts' with police, gendarmes and fire services but an increase in the number of burnings for which we don't have an explanation at the moment," the official said.

Of course not. Who would want to burn cars?

In the southern city of Toulouse, 12 cars were burned in areas at the edge of the city limits, while in Nantes, around 10 cars were torched although police in the western city said New Year's Eve had been "pretty calm".

In the United States it takes a baseball, football, or basketball championship to even come close to ten cars being torched.

Posted by denny at 04:35 PM | Comments (25)

April 29, 2008

The French Are Miserable

I sure hope this doesn't apply to Prosper. Got the link from here.

The French are more miserable than at any time since records began, a new survey has revealed.

Well that explains why my French trolls are so pissed off!

Soaring inflation, unemployment and widespread dis-satisfaction with their daily lives have plunged the nation to historic low of gloominess, researchers found.

The study into happiness levels in French households showed that on a scale of plus 100 points for "total contentment" to minus 100 for "utter misery", the average French man and woman scored "minus 37".

But Prosper has told me many times how great life in France is what with the "free" healthcare, 35 hour workweek, 6 weeks of vacation, and job security. Why are the French so miserable? Oh yeah. Soaring inflation and high unemployment. What high unemployment? Prosper told me it was around 7.5%. I guess that's low for France but it is severe recession level for us. The Dims and the LSM are screaming about out 5.1% rate being bad but back in 1996 when it was around 5.1% they were praising Bill Clinton for keeping it so low. Media bias? Nahhh!

The national outbreak of despair has coincided with a separate survey that found Nicolas Sarkozy is also one of the most unpopular Presidents in history, with just 32 per cent of people saying they like him.

That's because he's trying to do sumpin' about the high unemployment and soaring inflation. The French don't want to take the steps to fix their economy.

But despite the national gloom Mr Sarkozy's wife, former model Carla Bruni was not a bit miserable as she smiled for the cameras during a state visit to Tunisia today.

Well, yeah. She's a babe!

"But rising inflation and unemployment, interest rates, privatisations and public sector job cuts are clearly making people very depressed about what is happening in France."

The depressing findings were released yesterday, just one day after Sarkozy unveiled a major new drive to kick-start the ailing French economy - after saying the country had been "asleep for 25 years".

Good luck Nick. You're gonna need it. What the hell. You may fail at fixing the economy, but you do have a wife who's a babe. Look at Bill Clinton. He has Thunder Rodent Thighs.

Posted by denny at 07:35 PM | Comments (6)

March 24, 2008

French Cat

french cat.JPG

He's missing his white flag.

Thanks to Patrick.

Posted by denny at 12:25 PM | Comments (11)

March 13, 2008

The Magic Is Over

Woody sent me this article.

Bernard Kouchner, the foreign minister of France and a longtime humanitarian, diplomatic and political activist on the international scene, says that whoever succeeds President George W. Bush may restore something of the United States' battered image and standing overseas, but that "the magic is over."

Spare me from this pompous bullshit! What fucking magic is this asshole talking about? The only magic we ever had from the French was right after 9/11. Then when we decided to do sumpin' about the terrorists, rather than cowering in fear like the French and looking for someone to surrender to, they went right back to hating us just like the liberals in this country.

Yeah if we elect some far left rat bastard commie like Jug Ears or Thunder Thighs, the French can pretend to like us but they'll still hate us.

Asked whether the United States could repair the damage it has suffered to its reputation during the Bush presidency and especially since the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, Kouchner replied, "It will never be as it was before."

WTF is this asshat talking about? What before is he thinking about? The French have hated us since we rescued their asses in WWII. They hate us because we had to kick the Germans out of France. They couldn't do it. They hate us because we had to foot the bill to rebuild their country. Did they offer to pay us back? Are you kidding?

I can't read anymore of this steaming pile of cow crap. Take your fucking magic and cram it up your ass, Froggie. Fuck you and your worthless country!

And if you want to know how the French really feel about us wait until the French trolls (not you Prosper) start commenting.

Posted by denny at 11:47 AM | Comments (86)

March 06, 2008

Don't You Dare Die!

Ah those wacky French. You can't make up stuff like this. Thanks to Woody.

BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.

Huh? WTF? Is he gonna bathe the corpses. Talk about a fate worse than death for a Frenchman.

In an ordinance posted in the council offices, Mayor Gerard Lalanne told the 260 residents of the village of Sarpourenx that "all persons not having a plot in the cemetery and wishing to be buried in Sarpourenx are forbidden from dying in the parish."

It added: "Offenders will be severely punished."

The aforementioned bathing.

Lalanne, who celebrated his 70th birthday on Wednesday and is standing for election to a seventh term in this month's local elections, said he was sorry that there had not been a positive outcome to the dilemma.

"It may be a laughing matter for some, but not for me," he said.

A few years back, in one of the wine regions of France, UFO's were banned so the French banning death doesn't surprise me.

Posted by denny at 02:35 PM | Comments (8)

February 11, 2008

The French Stink

Grand Serge in Quebec sent me this article.

France stops smoking, starts smelling

They said it could never happen. Unlike Americans, Britons or Italians, French smokers would rebel rather than yield to government orders to stop. But nearly six weeks into the start of the ban, they have meekly obeyed and the predicted revolt has not occurred in the bars and bistrots.

Geez. What do you expect? They haven't surrendered to anyone in a while. Why not surrender to their own gummint?

As in other places, there have been some odd consequences. One is the body odour that fills the smoke-free air in discos and crowded clubs as the night drags on. Paris clubs are struggling to find alternative scents to mask the sweaty smell that is said to be turning off customers, especially women. Managers do not want to talk about it for fear of losing trade. "We've had enough trouble with the ban on smoking. On top of that we don't want people saying that the place stinks as well," said a club manager near the Place de l'Etoile.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Proof positive that the French stink.

France being the thoughtful place that it is, the pong issue has prompted discussion not of hygiene but of the psychology of odour. Why are we repelled by bodily scent, Libération wondered the other day. It hauled in Annick Le Guerer, an anthropologist and philosopher, to explain that bad smells trigger a part of the brain that makes people think of death. She suggested taking Nietzche's positive approach to smell rather than Freud's bourgeois negative one. Nietzche apparently proclaimed that "my whole genius is in my nostrils." Freud said that society could not function unless it ignored smells. Before anyone starts making anti-French remarks, the same smell problem caused a stir in England when they stopped smoking there.

Y'mean the Brits stink as well? Geez. maybe EUropeans should bathe more.

There have been other unintended consequences of the tobacco ban. One is the expansion of heated semi-open terraces where smokng is allowed. Despite cold weather these are often more crowded than the warm bars and dining areas inside. Maybe not for long because the Brussels Commission is thinking about a Europe-wide ban on the so-called propane parasols that heat the night air.

Prolly 'cause of the global warming hysteria.

Owners are also reporting another trend: unscrupulous customers who use an outdoor cigarette break to abscond without paying. Some establishments watch their smoking customers carefully, insisting that they leave some possession at the table as a sign that they are coming back. Gerard, landlord of a bar on the raffish rue Oberkampf told us that he gets suspicious when he sees everyone rise from a table to go out for a smoke after the main course.

Take a smoke break and split. They stink and they're dishonest. Go figger.

Posted by denny at 01:29 PM | Comments (31)

January 02, 2008

Calm Night In France

It was a relatively calm New Year's Eve in France.

VANDALS torched 372 cars as France celebrated the New Year, down on the figure last year after a night the police described as "relatively calm".

Holy crap! I'd hate to see what a bad night was.

Cars are burned fairly regularly in France and the image of vehicles in flames in poor suburbs became symbolic of riots in 2005 when angry youths set fire to thousands of cars.

"Hey Mahmoud, what are you doing tonight?"

"I don't know, Osama, why don't we go torch some cars?"

There is usually an increase in the number of cars torched on New Year's Eve compared to other days of the year.

'Cause nothing says "ring in the new year" like burning cars.

“The night was relatively calm, without notable incident, there were very few direct clashes with the security forces,” said a spokesman for the national police.

Because the security forces are a bunch of pussies and prefer watching the fires rather than risk their lives against a bunch of Moo-slime vandals.

The Interior Ministry said 372 vehicles had been burned - 144 in the Paris region and 228 in the rest of France. That was down from 397 last New Year's Eve.

A downward trend. Maybe they're running out of cars.

Posted by denny at 03:03 PM | Comments (18)

December 14, 2007

How To Surrender

My new French friend keeps sending me e-mails. Obviously he cannot get enough French bashing. So, courtesy of Kerrcarto, I'm posting this video just for him.

Update: Got six more e-mails. This dude is really obsessed with me. Must really suck to be him. And no, I'm not posting his e-mail address. He threatened to start an anti-American blog and I sent him the link to Blowspot and told him to have at it. I'd even link him and give him a Crippleanche.

Posted by denny at 01:20 PM | Comments (43)

December 13, 2007

Fan Mail From France

One of the nice things about being a blogger is all the wonderful fan mail I receive. This is one that I got from an admirer in France.

He sent me this YouTube video of Dimocrat voters.

Followed by this:

A perfect addition for this brain-free filthy piece of shit that you call a website. Fortunately for me, I've got many friends in the USA who are ashamed of people like you. I'm sooo outta here. Like Dope would say : go home and die.

Of course I had to reply and thank him for his delightful piece of fan mail and all the nice things he said about me. I also sent him this video, that I've posted before, about how smart the people in France are.

What a maroon! And 56% of the studio audience thinks the answer is the sun! Yeah Froggie, lecture us about how dumb Americans are.

Posted by denny at 03:55 PM | Comments (37)

August 27, 2007

Visit France


Matt Ashby's first contribution.

Posted by denny at 10:14 PM | Comments (15)

How To Become French In Six Weeks

Woody sent me this article.

Every morning for as long as she can remember, Nicky Taylor — like millions of other women — has carried out her 'getting ready' routine.

It starts with shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, includes mouthwash, cleanser and a moisturiser, and ends with an array of age-reversing serums, make-up, hair gel, deodorant, toothpaste and perfume.

Prolly only needed half that stuff.

But over the past six weeks, Nicky, 42, has cut this daily routine, and all the products associated with it, out of her life altogether. Yes, for 40 days and 40 nights, there has been no showering, no hair washing, no teeth cleaning and no deodorant.

This is known as the "French regimen".

However, it wasn't until the fourth day of not washing that Nicky began to notice a certain odour emanating from her person.

And the desire to move to Paris.

By the second week, Nicky's experiment and the subsequent haze of body odour accompanying her was beginning to affect her children, who refused to cuddle her.

And Nicky started speaking French. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by denny at 03:05 PM | Comments (13)

July 20, 2007

Tiny Brain

Woody sent me this article.

Something that many people secretly believed has been confirmed: You don't actually need a brain to work in a tax office. A French civil servant has been found to have a huge cavity filled with fluid in his head -- yet lives a completely normal life.

This is France, after all.

The commonly spouted wisdom that people only use 10 percent of their brain power may have been dismissed as a myth, but one French man seems to be managing fine with just a small fraction of his actual brain.


In fact the man, who works as a civil servant in southern France, has succeeded in living an entirely normal life despite a huge fluid-filled cavity taking up most of the space where his brain should be.

Actually I expect gummint workers all over the world to be afflicted by this condition.

They describe how the 44-year-old man went to the hospital in 2003 because he felt a mild weakness in his left leg. When the doctors went to look at his brain to see if the problem lay there, they found, well, pretty much nothing but a great black hole.

In the United States we'd call this guy a Dimocrat voter.

Posted by denny at 03:29 PM | Comments (7)

July 16, 2007

What Revolves Around The Earth?

Woody sent me this.

This is the French version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. The question in English would be "What revolves around the Earth".

The answers are as follows:

a. The Moon
b. The Sun
c. Mars
d. Venus

The poor dipstick doesn't have a clue. Notice in the video they have a survey of how the audience would respond. 56% picked the Sun! Remember this the next time a French person calls Americans stupid.

Posted by denny at 02:39 PM | Comments (26)

April 29, 2007

Cal's Posters 5


What great timing! This is for my new French troll.

Posted by denny at 08:03 PM | Comments (13)

April 28, 2007

French Hate Themselves

Hey Prosper! Did you see this?

PARIS (Reuters) - The French dislike themselves even more than the Americans dislike them, according to an opinion poll published on Friday.
Mon Dieu! How can that be?
The survey of six nations, carried out for the International Herald Tribune daily and France 24 TV station, said 44 percent of French people thought badly of themselves against 38 percent of U.S. respondents who had a negative view of the French.

Only 38% of us have a negative view of France? WTF?

Only 14 percent of Germans, 25 percent of Italians, 29 percent of Spaniards and 33 percent of Britons had a negative view of the French, according to the Harris/Novatris poll, which questioned more than 1,000 people in each country.

These people need to visit Paris. That will make the numbers jump. Parisians hate everybody. They even hate other Parisians.

Looked at from another perspective, the Germans have the highest regard for their neighbors, with 73 percent saying they had a positive view of the French.

Yep! France is the country most Germans would like to invade.

Posted by denny at 06:53 PM | Comments (73)

April 06, 2007

AOTW 4-6-2007

This week's winner of the coveted Asshole of the Week award goes to a French asswipe. He commented on this post. Unfortunately, comments had closed when he posted it, but it went into my approval queue so I thought I would share it with y'all.


Whoa dude! Lighten up! First. I guess it's time, once again, that I break out this graphic that I stole from this guy.


Yep! But we had to save your asses twice in the 20th Century, once in WWI and then in WWII. Do you speak German? No? You're welcome. Then after saving your asses twice, we spent money to rebuild your country. Not bad for a bunch of "A BUNCH OF UNEDUCATED,IGNORANT,BRAINWASHED BIGGOTS UNABLE TO LOCATE EUROPE OR ASIA ON A WORLD MAP."

We have a better economy than you do. We are richer than you are. And we bathe on a regular basis. We have not surrendered to Moo-slimes yet. How's that Airbus 380 program coming along. Cancelled orders? Cost overruns? Production delays? No shit? Boeing's doing great. Those airlines cancelling the A-380 are ordering Boeing 787's.

Y'know, France did just set the landspeed record for a bullet train. That means they can go from Paris to Berlin in two hours. Have you seen the French Army knife?

french army knife.jpg

Thanks to unix-jedi for that.

Anyway, gcav@wanadoo.fr, you are the Asshole of the Week. Congratulations! Here's your prize.


Posted by denny at 09:54 PM | Comments (36)

March 20, 2007

French Anti-Tank Missile

Sent to me by many readers.

Update. I just received an e-mail from a French Canadian who said that these guys were Quebecers. This part of the e-mail should really interest Eric and Elisson.

The fact that one curses by saying "Ciboire" is a dead giveaway. They don't curse using church words in France. But in Quebec, french slang includes Ostie, Tabarnack, Calisse, Viarge, Sacrement... Words from Church and used instead of the F word. We have variety.

I found out at the Claxton blodgemeet that Eric's new curse word is tabernacle. Heh! Heh! Heh! He got that from the Quebecers.

Posted by denny at 12:36 PM | Comments (24)

November 01, 2006

Fan Mail From France

As promised, here is an e-mail from Sebastien Beuzit, one of my French fans. In case you are wondering how these people find me, just Google "French bashing". I'm number four on the list.

Without further ado, let's see what Sebastien has to say.

at first, i'm sorry, like all my french fellows, i'm too stupid to speak an appropriate english

Tell you what Sebastien, I'll clean up your punctuation and grammar so my readers can tell exactly what it is you are writing and find out it's not your English that makes you sound stupid.

My dear Denny


Please stop jerking off on your history books and start reading them.

Just damn! And I so enjoy getting off on them. My favorites are Will and Ariel Durant's History of Western Civilization, Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, and Winston Churchill's History of the English Speaking Peoples. I always use paper towels so I don't get stains on them. Other people use girlie magazines, I use history books.

By the way, I do read them and I have a much better knowledge of history than Sebastien as we shall soon see.

Your naive and racist vision of history makes me laugh (often) but it also makes me puke.

I must of gotten my naive and racist vision from the above books, all of which I have read. I really didn't know that the Durants, Gibbons, and Churchill were racists. I learn sumpin' new every day.

Let me remind you of a few historical facts.

I await with bated breath. Enlighten me you font of historical knowledge.

In 1940 both French and British armies were defeated by the Germans,

OK. I'm with you so far.

Britain was not invaded because of one thing : the English Channel

That's rather simplistic, Sebastien. There was this little thing called the Battle of Britain. Had the RAF been wiped out by the Luftwaffe, the Germans would have been able to launch an invasion across the English Channel. Do you remember reading the following quote from Churchill? "Never have so many owed so much to so few". Probably not. He was talking about the RAF. Brave men.

the French did surrender in order to avoid total destruction

And then collaborated willingly with the Germans. Does the name Vichy ring a bell?

but the British retreated in panic at Dunkerque

And saved their army to fight another day. Fight, not collaborate.

History is not as simple as your star spangled brain can figure.

I dunno. Seems pretty easy to me. Germany rolled through France like a hot knife through butter. France surrendered. Britain did not.

Now he starts to veer off into an alternate universe.

US did not declare war on Hitler,

True so far.

Hitler did declare war on the US.

Yep! After his ally, Japan bombed Pearl harbor to drag us into the war. After that, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that we'd be fighting in Europe as well as the Pacific.

America did not come and save Europe (and France) like a white knight.

We didn't. Why did we come, pray tell? Look out! Here it comes!

The D-Day and the invasion of Western Europe took place to stop the Russian flood coming from the east.

Huh? WTF? If we wanted to stop the Russian flood coming from the east, the last thing we would want to do is invade France. Let the Germans and Russians fight it out and then go after the winner. I wonder why we didn't do that if we wanted to stop the Rooskis? Hey! Maybe that would have shortened the Cold War!

Sebastien. Put down your bong! Slowly step away from it. This is your mind on drugs.

Roosevelt knew his next war would be against the USSR,

He did? Is that why during the war, America sent weapons and other supplies to Russia? To equip them for the next war against us?

he did not want to save French, Jews or the Dutch from germans,

I can understand the French part. You guys are a bunch of ungrateful bastards. But the Dutch and the Jews? We wanted to save them.

he only wanted to prepare for a war to come.

So that's why he and Churchill met Uncle Joe at Yalta and they pretty much gave Stalin Eastern Europe and half of Berlin. That's a fine way to fight a war. Give your enemy Eastern Europe. Holy crap! The polio must have fucked up Roosevelt's brain as well!

French bashing is like gay bashing

Nope. To be a gay basher I'd have to be homophobic, which I'm not. To be a French basher, all I have to do is read history. What's more, French bashing is fun and it is so easy to do and it is based on facts. Fortunately, I'm careful when I'm jerking off and I keep my history books unstained. Also, since I'm 60 years old, I can remember the 50's and 60's when your anti-Americanism started, you ungrateful assholes.

I'm sure you like it too),

Nope! I don't like to gay bash. Sorry. I do enjoy French bashing though.

I think that, deep down inside, you would love to be french

Why would I want to be a cheese eating surrender monkey? Plus, I like to bathe on a daily basis and I hate snails.

(maybe one of your ancestors is french,

Actually, if you take my Freeman line far enough back, I am descended from Charlemagne, but I read that 3/4 of Western Europe is descended from him. I do have a Norman ancestor, but the Normans weren't really French. Other than that, my mother's side of the family is 100% German, and my father's side is English with the aforementioned Charlemagne link and the Norman link.

it would be great, you could look for him and shit on his grave)

I'll leave that up to you. I prefer using a toilet.

I have to leave you. I will put on my beret and I'll put my bone through my nose (I'm black too)

Holy crap! And he calls me a racist?

and go out surrendering

Probably to the Moo-slimes who are burning your cars every night.

keep on being so racist, ignorant

I think we have pretty much established here who is the racist and who is ignorant.

and proud to be american

You're goddam right I'm proud to be an American. We're the richest and the most powerful country in the history of this planet. We saved your sorry asses in two world wars and we're the ones who are facing up to the threat of Islamofascism, with no help from you buttheads.

...you're also about to become a stereotype.

Yep! And I accept that. We're the country the world turns to whenever there are problems. Those damn Americans! Yet the world is not too proud to take our money.

And look at the shit we have invented. Did you know this internet thing was invented in America (by Algore)? Nuclear power which provides a large portion of your electricity in France was an American invention.

So go live in your fantasy land Froggy, where France is still a world power. Go surrender to the Moo-slimes. But next time you ask us for help, guess whom you'll call? Remember, you can count on the French to always be there when they need us.

Thanks for playing.

Posted by denny at 12:02 PM | Comments (16)

September 25, 2006

Jacques Chirak's Morning Workout


From Darrell.

Posted by denny at 12:29 PM | Comments (3)

August 05, 2006



Stole it from Rodger.

Posted by denny at 11:02 PM | Comments (5)

August 01, 2006

Doping Allegations

Jesse sent me his take on the Landis doping allegations.

To reports of Landis' doping in the TDF:

Medical fact: victory causes temporarily high testosterone levels. The
French will just have to take that on trust.

The French (press) operate in the same way as pussy American leftists.
It's the accusation that counts.

Face it. Game over. The French know manly piss when they taste it.

They need to recalibrate their testing equipment. It's still set for the
yellow jersey winner with only one ball.

I think they should make the Tour a Mountain Bike race and move it to South
Lebanon. We'll see how many French show up then..

The French soccer team was composed entirely of North Africans and
Sub-Saharan Africans. I think that tells us something about Native French
Testosterone levels.

Are the French the ones who are setting the normal ranges for male
In that case, probably any man with cajones will have abnormally high testo
levels as the French see it.

Special Report:

Floyd Landis testicles "suspiciously large" say French officials.

In addition to the brewing scandal over the American cyclists testosterone
tests, it has emerged that several sources in France have confirmed that Mr
Landis' testes are of a disturbingly abnormal size. One doctor who did not
want to be named told us "If you look at ze genitals of a normal Frenchman,
you can see that zey is nice and small, in keeping with ze spirit of
fairness. Ze whole package can in fact be quite hard to see, often being
completely encased in a ball of pubic hairs. When one looks at the genitals
of zis American, it is obvious that we are not dealing with a sportsman in
ze true French sense of ze word".

The little berets, Gaulloises, baguettes, and the smell of burning Peugeots
in the evenings..
(with apologies to Robert Duval in Appocalypse Now)

Posted by denny at 10:52 PM | Comments (62)

July 31, 2006

French Sniper Training


From Jesse.

Posted by denny at 11:42 PM | Comments (14)

July 28, 2006

AOTW 7-28-2006

Since I seem to have attracted some French Trolls, it is only fair to make one of them the Asshole of the Week.

I have selected Jopo. Bask in the brilliance of this comment.

"Then they could teach Hezbollah how to surrender properly."

Like in Korea or vietnam? pearl harbor? panama? or the twins towers, or better in iraq?

US history is so short, but 65% of lost war and surrendering, or worst being saved by the french! with so who's surrendering?

Huh? WTF?

That makes almost no sense whatsoever. Korea? Tie. Viet Nam? Unlike the French, we didn't lose on the battlefield. We lost because of the Dimocrat Party and traitors like Jane Fonda. But, I'll call it a loss.

Pearl Harbor a surrender? Listen Jopo the Mofo, after Pearl Harbor we kicked both Japanese butt and German butt. While you French surrendered, we kicked ass. We won WWII just like we won WWI. You're welcome dickhead!

Panama? WTF is he talking about? We didn't fight a war in Panama. I think Jopo must be smoking sumpin' from Panama. Maybe some good Panama Red.

The "twins towers"? A surrender? And just what did we do after the "twins towers"? We overthrew two terrorist supporting gummints. In our entire history, we have only lost one war, and that was Viet Nam. How many times has France been conquered?

I wouldn't say we were saved by the French in the Revolutionary War. You helped us and we repaid the favor in WWI. We saved your asses again in WWII. Then we gave you money to rebuild your country. Then we protected you (with very little assistance) during the Cold War, which we won, by the way. For that, you hate us. It must suck that our young country is richer and stronger than France will ever be.

Then, he showed what his real feelings are.

uhmmm you smell like a jews zionist that cheat your real identity as AMERICAN! as most of your israely americano neo cons judens raus gov!

when americans are leaded by JUDENS , they forget where they are from!

did you plan to makes Torah reading at US national TV chanels, to convert them to JEOVA? lol


I guess this must be Jopo's idea of what Paris should really be like. Maybe he's pissed that we threw the Germans out of France.

Here ya go, Jopo. Here's your award. I'm gonna have to learn how to say booger eatin' moh-ron in French.


Posted by denny at 09:13 PM | Comments (23)

July 27, 2006

New French Magazine


From Melissa.

Posted by denny at 11:14 PM | Comments (6)

Where Are The Frogs?

Newest French troll, Rojer, said he was gonna send all his friends to my site. Where are they?


I'm getting as many visters from Belize (!!!) as I am from France. I guess his French friends are busy planning on how they're gonna surrender to the Moo-slimes.

Hey Rojer, do you know why there are so many tree-lined streets in Paris? So the Germans can march in the shade.

One thing you can always say about the French: They'll be there when they need us.

Posted by denny at 01:40 PM | Comments (29)

July 26, 2006


Holy crap! I done got me two new French trolls. I got Jopo, who I think is gonna make AOTW, and I got Rojer who posted this gem of a comment.

dudes ! Thanks sooo much!

Dude! You're welcome so much!

I will bookmark this blog and forward it to my french fellows. Some "frogs" still resist the spreading anti american feeling. This will help big time.

Yep! Cowardly pussies who have had to have been saved by their betters not once, but twice, in the 20th Century, probably do have a tendency to hate people with bigger balls.

I can't believe I found this jewel!

It would be hard to miss. Google "French Bashing" and I'm number 5. You would have to be an idiot to miss it.

I have some american friends who have some trouble showing their passport in a public place. Some even mimic a british accent to get rid of blushing when spoken to. Let me lead them here, so they can give up their citizenship no regret.

Dude, let me tell you, your American friends are assholes. I'm ashamed that they are ashamed to be Americans. Real Americans would proudly show their passports. Maybe they're ashamed to be your friends. Yeah. Like they're gonna give up their American citizenship. There is about as much a chance of that as you picking up a gun and fighting, you French pussy!

Speaking of showing passports, here is a story that Melissa put in the comments and has been sent to me by many readers.

At a French airport...

A group of American retired teachers recently
went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, was part of the tour group.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible!" barked the officer. "Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in France."

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained.

"Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

So true....n'est-ce pas?

By the way, dickhead, you better practice your Arabic. You're gonna need it when you surrender to the Moo-slimes. By the way, Do you speak German? No? You're welcome.

Now go take a bath, Froggy, you're smelling up my site.

Posted by denny at 10:38 PM | Comments (15)

July 25, 2006

For My Latest French Troll

Melissa sent me this quote from Ted Nugent that is apropriate for my latest anti-Semitic, incredibly stupid French troll.

Ted Nugent was being interviewed by a British journalist.

The journalist asked: "What do you think the last thought is in the mind of a deer before you shoot it ? Is it, `Are you my friend?` or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'"

Nugent replied: "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."

Posted by denny at 11:06 PM | Comments (43)

International Force

Now they're talking about deploying an international force in Lebanon as part of a cease fire agreement. Yeah. That's gonna do a lot of good. The only time an international force is worth anything is if it is composed mainly of United States troops. Any other international force just gets out of the way and hides from all the fighting.

If there is gonna be an international force, I do not want to see one United States soldier in it. I would like to see it mainly made up of French forces. Then they could teach Hezbollah how to surrender properly.

Posted by denny at 04:05 PM | Comments (25)

June 12, 2006

Brown Pants

Long time reader and commenter, Prosper, commented recently: Excellent! This WMD joke is gonna last forever...

Prosper, it won't last as long as French jokes. Here's another from my friend, Pres.

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.
During one battle, the French captured an English major.
Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to
question him.

The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red
coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the
reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot,
the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why from that day to this, all French Army officers wear
brown pants....

Posted by denny at 10:39 AM | Comments (6)

April 10, 2006

Up The Creek

Dear Prosper - Your country surrendered. Again. You need to find this store.

Solution2 ~1.JPG

Got the pic from poulsen.

Posted by denny at 03:43 PM | Comments (29)

November 11, 2005

France's Weekend Weather Forecast


From Paul.

Posted by denny at 06:38 PM | Comments (6)

November 09, 2005

French Screed And Marine Assistance

Here's a screed my sister sent me. I bet Rob will love this one.

And then Charles sent me this one.

President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs to begin drawing up a battle plan to pull France out of the fire again. Facing an apparent overwhelming force of up to 400 pissed off teenagers Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little piss-ants. "If the last two world wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.

Joint Chiefs head, Gen. Peter Pace, warned the President that it might be necessary to send up to 5 marines to get things under control. The general admitted that 5 marines may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one marine to volunteer to help the ungrateful French out for a third time but thought that he could persuade a few women marines to do the job before they went on pregnancy leave.

President Bush asked Gen. Pace to get our marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the marines did not take soap, razors, or deodorant with them. The less they stand out the better.

Sorry Pierce. Sometimes I just can't help myself. Oh, and here's an interesting site

Posted by denny at 06:24 PM | Comments (17)

October 07, 2005

Fun With Google

Michelle sent me an e-mail that went:

Plug French Military Victories into Google and select I'm Feeling Lucky.

Sorry Pierce and Prosper. I just couldn't resist it.

Posted by denny at 10:02 PM | Comments (28)

September 29, 2005

Disaster Comparison

Hey Prosper since you like linking to Wikipedia so much here's a neat link about the 2003 heat wave that killed over 14,000 people in France.

14,847 people [[1]], mostly elderly, died in France from heat, according to the country's largest funeral service. France does not commonly have very hot summers, particularly in the northern areas. As a consequence, most people do not know how to react to very high temperatures (for instance, with respect to hydration), and most homes and retirement homes are not equipped with air conditioning. Furthermore, while there are contingency plans for a variety of catastrophes and natural events, high heat had never been considered a major hazard and so such plans for heat waves did not exist at the time.

The heat wave occurred in August, a month in which many people, including government ministers and physicians, are on vacation.

Many bodies were not claimed for many weeks because relatives were on holiday. A refrigerated warehouse outside Paris was used by undertakers, because they didn't have enough space in their own facilities. On September 3, 57 bodies still left unclaimed in the Paris area were buried.

That shortcomings of the nation's health system could allow such a death toll is a matter of controversy in France. The administration of President Jacques Chirac and Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin laid the blame on (A health system that is oh so much better than the system in the US...GOC)

* the 35-hour workweek (But I thought that was a good thing ... GOC)
* family practitioners vacationing in August. (Many companies traditionally closed in August, so people had no choice about when to vacation. Family doctors were still in the habit of vacationing at the same time.)
* families who leave their elderly behind without caring for them. (Families don't take care of their elderly? ... GOC)

The opposition as well as many of the editorials of the local press have blamed the administration. Many blamed Health Minister Jean-François Mattei for not coming back from his vacations when the heat wave struck, and his aides for blocking emergency measures in public hospitals (such as the recalling of physicians). A particularly vocal critic was Dr Patrick Pelloux, head of the union of emergency physicians, who blamed the Raffarin administration for ignoring warnings from health and emergency professionals and trying to minimize the crisis.

Jean-François Mattei was not kept as a minister following from the March 31, 2004 cabinet shuffle. (He could probably get a job working for Mayor Asshole or Governor Useless...GOC)

On the upside, the 2003 heat wave was good for 2003 Bordeaux wines. I've ordered 6 cases.

The Katrina death toll in Louisiana so far stands at 923. This after Mayor Asshole of Nawlins said there were gonna be 10,000 deaths. Less than 1,000 people dead so far and the response to Katrina is considered a failure by the Dimocrats and the LSM. Just think if there had been a competent mayor and a competent governor. The death toll would have been even less. Bush did not do a very good job of killing black people.

Prosper, here is another site that bashes France. They asked me for a link and I think I'll even put them on my blogroll. Here ya go guys.

Posted by denny at 10:07 PM | Comments (31)

August 30, 2005

Flight Attendant

Catfish sent me another joke.

A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful
woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself she must
be a flight attendant....so gorgeous....which airline
does she work for?

Hoping to gain her attention he leaned towards her and uttered the
Delta slogan, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to
himself, not Delta.

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned
toward her again, "Something special in the air?

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally scratched
American Airlines off the list.

Next, he tried the United slogan, "I would really love to fly your
friendly skies?"

This time the woman savagely turned on him...."what the fuck do
you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair and said, "Ah ha!
Air France!"

Posted by denny at 03:43 PM | Comments (9)

August 27, 2005

Tour De France Scandal

Catfish sent me this breaking story.

PARIS, France --

Lance Armstrong's record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Armstrong is being quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his South France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de France.

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap which have been banned by French authorities for over 75 years.

Armstrong's girlfriend, American rocker Sheryl Crowe, is quoted as saying "We use them every day in America, so we naturally thought they'd be ok throughout Europe."

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also physically searched Armstrong and found several other interesting items that they had never seen before, including a backbone and a testicle.

Posted by denny at 05:35 PM | Comments (15)

April 04, 2005

French Naval Reunion

French Navy Reuinon.jpg

From Charlieb.

Posted by denny at 10:02 PM | Comments (12)

April 02, 2005

French Joke

Here's a French joke that John sent me.

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."

Posted by denny at 03:25 PM | Comments (1)

April 01, 2005

I Love The French




Posted by denny at 01:42 PM | Comments (10)

March 31, 2005

French Military

Matt, at Starktruth.com created this.

Posted by denny at 02:36 PM | Comments (2)

March 28, 2005

News From Frogistan

Ernie sent me a link to this article about my favorite country, Frogistan. Too bad Dirtbag Dirtbag no longer reads me.

Unhappy at work, in revolt at school and openly divided over Europe, the French have suddenly lost that joie de vivre that British holidaymakers and expatriates alike identify as so Gallic a trait.

Huh? What's going on?

A demoralised nation whose citizens are disillusioned by politicians, have nothing much to believe in and feel dissatisfied with their lot - that was the portrait of France painted in a recent survey of the country's mood.

But Jerkweed Jerkweed said that France was such a great nation with their 35 hour work week and all those lavish benefits that the gummint has mandated.

The slump in national morale has coincided with - is perhaps driven by - an uncharacteristic fit of scepticism about the European Union and its new constitution.

The great European Union that is gonna be the United States of Europe and will overtake the United States in economic power. So what has the Frogs up in arms?

Only months ago, positive attitudes to Europe were acknowledged to be one of the few constants of French political life. France, after all, was a proud parent of the infant Common Market and has long seen the EU as its own private project.

Europe was just another arena in which France could perform its historic mission: spreading the values of liberté, egalité and fraternité to nations less civilised than itself.

Why do the French have long noses? So they can look down on the rest of Europe.

As for the referendum ratifying the constitution, President Jacques Chirac seemed to face only one serious obstacle to carrying his people with him: its timing.

What obstacle was that?

His courtiers began talking up the merits of an early poll - Mr Chirac had previously spoken of late summer - but their principal concern was that hostility to Turkey's eventual membership of the EU should not gather strength and pollute the high-minded debate over Europe's principles and values.

Principles? Values? WTF?

But having moved the vote forward to May 29, Mr Chirac watched in dismay as other issues conspired to threaten his European vision.

And those issues are?

Two recent opinions polls have put the No campaign ahead for the first time, confirming Mr Chirac's worst fears that the electorate may use the referendum to register its disgust with him, his government and its lot in life.

The French unhappy with their gummint? How can that be?

The national malaise extends far beyond the realm of politics. Despite the Frenchman's traditional delight in good food and wine, restaurateurs, especially in areas hardest hit by a slump in tourism, complained bitterly about empty tables last summer.

That's the downside of that high Euro. It plays havoc with that tourism thing.

People were eating out less. Prices were too high and service too poor.

And this is different from normal?

Not that most French people would blame the punitive cost of employing staff and the enforced shorter working week for their unsatisfactory experience dining out. But in their hearts, the French know that the 35-hour week has been a disaster. However noble the idea of giving working mothers more time with their children, the social and economic cost has been high.

But Scumbag Scumbag was bragging about the wonderful 35 hour work week.

Companies have flocked to relocate to the cheaper labour markets of eastern Europe and beyond. The service industry resorts increasingly to the black economy.

Globalization versus socialism. You make labor too expensive (35 hour work week, paid leave, long vacations) and companies will relocate where labor is cheaper. Hence the 10% unemployment rate in Frogistan.

The government itself seems motivated by a desire for the quiet life. And it is no coincidence that France's restless unions, aware of Mr Chirac's growing nervousness about the referendum, have sent their members into the streets in huge numbers.

Holy shit! Look at all them croaking frogs!

France notoriously caves in at the first signs of trouble from the workforce,

France surrenders to itself.

whether from the seamen, fishermen and hauliers who blockade motorways and ports, the transport workers who yesterday paralysed the rail network or schoolchildren protesting at reforms in the classroom.

And let's not forget the Germans.

Many French people are angered by the posturing and the strikes. But, according to the polls, even more are quicker to blame the government and employers for anything that goes wrong.

And it is with that majority - uncomfortable with cancelled trains or health service walk-outs but even more uncomfortable with any threat to their rights and customs - that attacks on the spread of "liberalism" in Europe strike such a chord.

Awww! It is sure bleak in Frogistan.

When surgeons threatened to stage a week-long exile in Britain, it was not because they wished to show their admiration for the NHS. Rather, it symbolised "the nightmare" that awaited medical care in France if it followed too closely the British model.

But Dipshit Dipshit said France had one of the best health care systems in the world. Socialized medicine is the way to go.

The French actually feel that if their country is made more disciplined and more responsive to market forces, their way of life, imperfect and anarchic as it often is, would be under threat.

Merde! Not the free market. How could the Frogs survive without socialism?

But for all the evidence of a country more and more ill at ease with itself, another powerful national characteristic should never be underestimated.

If the French rarely see themselves as bad drivers and arrogant or unfriendly towards foreigners, they cheerfully own up to being among the world's worst complainers.


The contrariness helps to explain why a bureaucrat will turn down a perfectly fair request and why voters so readily refuse to grant governments a second term.

It also shows why the French now see Europe as too big for its boots and why Mr Chirac, determined to win the day on May 29, exploits the sentiment by "standing up" for national interests.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Brave ol' Jackoff Chirac.

Behind all this is a love of the one word "Non", even if it may later be softened to a "Oui, mais… ".

Asking France to abandon its instinct for saying "no" is like asking a lion to stop chasing wildebeest. Lions are lions.

Frogs are frogs.

The French, as one British expatriate put it yesterday with irritation but not malice, are "just so bloody French".

How true!

Posted by denny at 09:05 PM | Comments (5)

March 23, 2005

35 Hour Work Week

Uh oh! Douchebage Douchebag ain't gonna like this.

France's parliament voted to effectively rescind the 35-hour work week, raising overtime limits and letting private-sector employees swap time off for more money in a bid to boost employment and incomes.

But I thought the 35 hour work week was supposed to increase employment.

Chirac's backers said longer hours will increase wages and eventually reduce an unemployment rate of 10.1 percent, the highest in five years. A nationwide strike to protest the change and seek higher pay disrupted transport, schools, and postal service on March 10.

But according to Douchebag Douchebag the French economy was in better shape than the United States economy.

The 35-hour week has ``heavily weighed on wage increases,'' French Finance Minister Thierry Breton said March 15, responding to a question from a Socialist lawmaker in parliament. ``You wanted to share jobs, people had to share wages.''

Another socialist experiment bites the dust.

Posted by denny at 11:00 AM | Comments (5)

March 16, 2005

Fun Facts About The French

Jon sent me these fun facts about the French.

  • A Frenchman will fight viciously and without regard for his own life if you stand between him and a white flag.

  • Rumor has it that the French don’t like bathing. This rumor comes from them smelling.

  • To get with modern times they have adopted a stance of pre-emptive surrender.

  • During the cola wars, France was occupied by Pepsi for six months.

  • They like to sell weapons to enemies of America. But come on – what kinds of pansies use French weapons?

  • Their language not being quite as effeminate as they would like, they also wear berets.

  • The Eiffel tower was constructed so that they would have something very tall to wave a white flag from in case of attack.

  • In ancient times, primitive Frenchmen surrendered to thunderstorms.

  • They actually have a military, though what purpose it serves is unknown.

Posted by denny at 11:31 AM | Comments (7)

March 14, 2005

France Sucks

Have I said lately how much France sucks? It's a country of lazy, smelly, cowardly, backstabbers.

What has France done for us?

1. Helped us in the Revolutionary War.

2. Gave us the Statue of Liberty.

I know this because every time I write a French bashing post some asshole French person points this shit out to me as if I didn't know it. I know it assholes. You have done exactly two things for us: Gave us support when we were fighting one of your enemies and built us a fucking statue. BFD!

What have we done for France?

1. Helped win WWI.

2. Won WWII and freed them from the Germans. They could have stopped Hitler earlier but were pussies and thought appeasement would work, just like they think that appeasing terrorists works. Their stupid Maginot Line was about as effective as their aircraft carrier that never leaves port. We have those too. We call them airports.

3. Rebuilt their country after WWII with American tax money. That is money we never saw again.

4. Protected them in the Cold War. They provided no military support and no bases. They contributed no money or troops for their own protection.

5. Saved the French wine industry when the vinyards were being ravished with Phylloxera by sending them grape vine cuttings from Missouri that were resistant. See link.

The gratitude of French grape growers was so great that they erected two monuments in the city of Montpelier in the south of France, honoring the Missouri grape growers who were credited with saving the French wine industry.

How soon they forget.

Looks like we've done more for them than they have for us.

When Reagan was president, they would not give us overflight privileges when we bombed Libya thus forcing us to extend the flights and perform midair refueling.

They actively opposed us in the runup to the Iraq War.

Someday, when France is once again in trouble, they'll come asking for our assistance and we'll be stupid enough to give it to them. Y'see we can be counted upon to help other nations. France can be counted upon to stab their friends in the back.

We just fought two wars to free over 50 million people. What has France done for the world lately?


As usual.

Posted by denny at 01:59 PM | Comments (18)

February 28, 2005

Frog Mail

Got me an e-mail from some French asshole who took offense at the Poem For The French that I posted two weeks ago. It seems every time I do a little French bashing the simpering cowards from France take offense. I guess I hurt their poor widdle feelings and I make the poor widdle babies cry. It must be so hard to live in a country that is long past its glory years and has become irrelevant on the world stage. Let's see what Gilles Bertrand has to say.

Dear Sir,

Nice start.

I am a frenchie as you like to call the French people.

Actually, I like to call them Frogs, or wimps, or pussies, or cheese eating surrender monkeys and I guess I should feel sorry for you that you are French. By the way, have you ever heard of soap?

And I am so deceived while reading the posts on this website and especially the last poetry on French bashing!

Why should you be deceived? I've made it perfectly clear that I do not think too much of the French. We saved your sorry asses from the Germans twice. We used American taxpayer money to rebuild your sorry country. It would be nice to get a little gratitude from you backstabbing assholes.

You are encouraging discrimination against the
French people.

Gilles, you have a firm grasp on the obvious. Congratulations.

This is stupid and makes me angry.

Too fucking bad.

In your country where the right of free expression and opinion is in the constitution, but I guess the French people are not suppose to have the same right as you, especially considering the Iraki war?

Since you're French you do not have the same rights that I do under the United States Constitution, but, you are free to say whatever you want to say about Iraq. I am free to say what I think of your opinion.

Here's what you dickheads cannot seem to get through those thick skulls of yours. Your country actively opposed us in the Iraq War. Had you sat back and done nothing, which I would expect to be normal French behavior, we would have not had any problems with you, but you actively opposed us. That makes you asswipes the enemy.

We are fighting WWIV. This war is your war too although you are too stupid to realize it. You didn't give us any help in the Cold War but at least you stayed out of the way. I wish you would do the same with this war. Wave your white flags of surrender and leave the fighting to the people who have balls. If you want to help, go teach Syria and Iran how to surrender.

Posted by denny at 10:27 PM | Comments (14)

February 14, 2005

A Poem For The French

Nancy sent me this poem and told me to forward it to all Americans. I'll do better. I'll post it here.

Eleven thousand soldiers
lay beneath the dirt and stone,
all buried on a distant land
so far away from home.

For just a strip of dismal beach
they paid a hero's price,
to save a foreign nation
They all made the sacrifice.

And now the shores of Normandy
Are lined with blocks of white:
Americans who didn't turn
from someone else's plight.

Eleven thousand reasons
for the French to take our side,
but in the moment of our need,
they chose to run and hide.

Chirac said every war means loss,
perhaps for France that's true,
for they've lost every battle
since the days of Waterloo.

Without a soldier worth a damn
to be found within the region,
the French became the only land
to need a Foreign Legion.

You French all say we're arrogant.
Well hell, we've earned the right--
We saved your sorry nation
when you lacked the guts to fight.

But now you've made a big mistake,
and one that you'll regret;
you took sides with our enemies,
and that we won't forget.

It wasn't just our citizens
you spit on when you turned,
but every one of yours
who fell the day the towers burned.

You spit upon our soldiers,
on our pilots and Marines,
and now you'll get a little sense
of just what payback means.

So keep your Paris fashions
and your wine and your champagne,
and find some other market
that will buy your airplanes.

And try to find somebody else
to wear your French cologne,
for you're about to find out
what it means to stand alone.

You see, you need us far more
than we ever needed you.
America has better friends
who know how to be true.

I'd rather stand with warriors
who have the will and might,
than huddle in the dark
with those whose only flag is white.

I'll take the Brits, the Aussies,
the Israelis and the rest,
for when it comes to valor
we have seen that they're the best.

We'll count on one another
as we face a moment dire,
while you sit on the sideline
with a sign, "friendship for hire."

We'll win this war without you
and we'll total up the cost,
and take it from your foreign aid,
and then you'll feel the loss.

And when your nation starts to fall,
well Frenchie, you can spare us,
just call the Germans for a hand,
they know the way to Paris.

Posted by denny at 12:24 PM | Comments (20)

March 25, 2004

Elevated French Terror Alert

API and Reuters report the French Government announced today that in light
of the Madrid train bombing, France has raised its terror alert level from
"RUN" to "HIDE."

The only two higher levels in France are "SURRENDER" and "COLLABORATE."

Courtesy of Ralph Gizzip.

The colors of their top two alerts are white for SURRENDER and yellow for COLLABORATE.

Posted by denny at 04:04 PM

January 23, 2004

Ben's a Moron

Some dickhead named Ben posted the following in the comments section of this post:

Could you please look a little some things ;

- 225 years of history ... we have been here for centuries
- You people of the US, you all came from Europe ...
- Manhatan was founded by a belgian man
- You never had any war on your territory unless civil war opposing north and south
- I think it was Einstein that said: "Americans went from barbary to decadence without even knowing what's civilization ...."

Think about it, i know every us inhabitant think like you, i hope it, because US has a pittyfull doom with people like you ...

It's not i don't like US, but i hate people like you speaking without knowing, with people like there can only be war ...

Not to be undone, someone (maybe the same person) posted the follwing 23 minutes later:

Just a question ... do you have history classes when you are about 8-15 years old ? Here in Europe we learn history from all countries af the world, not only ours, and we study history of america ... could you please open histry books, try to understand how wars here in Europe came to reality, and .. if i remember ... US came to the allies only once Pearl Harbour bombing took place .. am i wrong ? you only came to europe to kick the ass of the man tha had allies who kicked YOUR ass .... you americans are only vengeance .... it's the only word tha guide you through life I think i have read on the top of this page, that french people (i am not french) is the people that have less soap per inhabitant ? I think You americans are the people with less culture per inhabitant ... You do not have enough teachers (i have some friends who came to your country to learn young us children some culture ...) Please ... try to understand that we do not hate you, we hate your BEHAVIOUR!!!!!

Ben also posted some bullshit article that I deleted since I do not like long articles using up my server space.

Here is my reply to these two bogger eatin' moh-rons.

Sigh - Why do I even try to educate you dimwits?

Ben - Actually close to 400 years of history, but we only officially became a nation in 1776. Since then we have become the most powerful country in the world. Unless you do something about your welfare state and growing Muslim population, France will be a third world country in another 20 years. History has passed you by Ben.

Actually we came from Europe, Africa and Asia. What's your point?

Who cares who founded Manhattan? St. Louis was founded by the French. Los Angeles was founded by the Spanish? Have you ever heard the term "melting pot"? What's your point?

Actually we had the French and Indian War, the Revolutionary War, and the War of 1812. What's your point?

You Europeans have been there for centuries and you have been fighting wars for centuries, You buttheads drug us into the last two wars. The Europeans who founded this country left Europe because you people were a bunch of fuckwits.

And believe me I know since I have read a lot of history. Why are we pissed at France? Because we had to save your sorry asses twice and you dickheads hate us for it. It wouldn't have bothered us if you had stayed neutral but you actively opposed us in the Iraq war. As far as I'm concerned that makes you the enemy.

And yes I am anti-French because you actively opposed us and obstructed us in the war. Why should we reward French companies with reconstruction contracts? Don't tell me to think when your thought processes are that defective.

As for Libya, y'all had nothing to do with that. Libya was a result of the Iraq war. Qadaffy did not want to suffer the same fate as Saddam.

I'm deleting the article. It's my bandwidth and I don't allow people to clog it up with bullshit articles. If you want to post an article, get your own blog.

To the person asking about history classes, when I went to school in the 50's and 60's we did have history classes. I still read history. And if you will read your history, you would know that we were actually shipping supplies to England before we got into WWII. Did you ever hear about the Lend Lease Program? Probably not. And who rebuilt Europe after WWII? Did you ever hear about the Marshall Plan? The American taxpayers paid for that, not the French and not the Germans. And who protected you dipshits during the Cold War? Read your own fucking history asswipe and maybe learn a little bit. We are the most generous country in the history of this planet. Europe lay in ruins after WWII. We rebuilt it and then protected it from the Soviet Union. We have always been gracious in victory and have treated our ex-enemies kindly. Europeans owe a lot to the United States, but they are so fucking jealous of our success they prefer to put us down.

And we don't have any culture? Sorry fuckwit, but the world seems to want to wear our blue jeans and eat our McDonald's and listen to our rock music. It may not be culture to you, but the rest of the world seems to like it. Just because we work hard and make a lot of money rather than not taking baths and sitting in coffee shops, smoking cigarettes, and discussing Sartre doesn't mean we don't have any culture. You French make good wine, good sailboats and passable cheese, but that's about it. Oh, and you surrender at the drop of a hat. How long do you think it's gonna take before Chirac gives in on the headscarf?

I have two words for you: Fuck off!

Posted by denny at 08:37 PM

August 01, 2003

Croaking Frogs

Bad Taste Office Humor Week continues.

I've been invaded by the French. Can't you smell 'em? Did you know that France has the lowest per capita use of soap of any developed nation? No wonder they use so much perfume.

Over the last few days I have seen comments in my French bashing posts and, as some of 'em are amusing, I'd like to share them with y'all.

E. J. posted:

Hum, I am a little confused. I am french and I dont see what you want to demonstrate. Maybe that the american is superior to the french, as did Hitler with the Jews??
Maybe you are just dumb, maybe xenophobic, maybe both??

Well, yeah. America is superior to France. We have more freedoms. We are wealthier. We are more powerful. Dumber? No. America leads the world in technology. And as for xenophobic, we do not have a Ministery of Culture whose main job is to try to keep French culture and the French language 'pure'. Now that, mon ami, is an example of xenophobia. And your Ministery of Culture is gonna be working overtime on that Muslim time bomb that's ticking away. Good luck. No on second thought, get fucked!

Hey you american people:
Stop acting as hillbillies bad cholesterol intoxicated rednecks one digit IQs Texas citizens!


(if you ever can)

Posted by bernard Cormerais

See my above about technology. And your diet is much higher in cholesterol than ours. And I didn't know that cholesterol was intoxicating. Take a bath!!! (if you ever can.)

How many french poeple did you kill in Normandy in 1944 bombing all the towns in this aeria ?
Certainly many ten thousands, and half my family !!!!
you are nothing else but shit !

Posted by renaud

Just damn! Too bad we didn't kill all of your family. You are nothing else but merde!

Noel posted a long rambling diatribe. Here are some excerpts:

You're quoting Mark Twain, but did you know he was opposed to the Philippines'wars (1898-1902) ?

What does that have to do with Mark Twain hating the French?

And I'm sure someone as intelligent as Mark Twain was

He sure was. He hated the French.

would have been opposed to the US intervention without the UN approval and control as he was with the US intervention in Philippines.

Now how would you know that? Maybe as an American, he would have been pissed off about war being declared on us on 9/11. And if he would have seen the French opposing us going into Iraq, he would have automatically thought it to be a splendid idea. In Mark Twain's later years he became a bitter satirist. He would have enjoyed the irony of Libya and Cuba being on the UN Human Rights Commission.

I've been reading the french-bashing section of your "bloghaus" with interest at first,

Good stuff, huh?

but not a long time after with disgust.

Too fucking bad!

What a tremendous load of xenophobia and hatred towards my small country

The hatred is reciprocal. Y'see, I have been in over 25 countries. The rudest people I have ever met in my entire life have been the French, especially those in Paris. In every country I have ever been in, the people loved it when I tried to speak some of their language (Italy, Germany, Spain, Russia, Turkey, Greece, the Phillippines, Japan, China, and many others). Not so France. France is the epitome of xenophobia.

(yes, I'm a frenchman,

I feel sorry for you

nobody's perfect... and we're perfectly happy not being, nor aspiring to be, a world-class powerful country any more).

Too bad no one told Chirac that since he is trying to dominate the EU.

It's a shame that with the Internet people like you can think local, act global and pour a tremendous load of shit.

Did you know that your browser has a back button? Feel free to use it next time you happen upon my site.

One last historical point, I'm grateful for the USA to have freed my country from the Nazis,

You could have fooled me.

but I'm a little doubtful about their motives.

Germany declared war on us. That isn't in French history books?

(You can't blame me for being a little bit wary with people who seem to embark in a holy crusade each time they make war and accomodate the word "freedom" at all sauces while they obviously forgot its meaning...) :

We're not so concerned with your freedom as we are with ours.

stopping the Nazis was one thing (and we, french people, always be thankful to the USA for that,

You could have fooled me.

OK mister I-forgot-what-is-the-country-the-USA-should-owe-forever-for-being-freed-from-the-english-crown-while-asking-nothing-in-return ?),

The only reason France helped us was because France was in a war with England. If not for that, France wouldn't have done squat. And we paid you back in WWI. So maybe what-is-the-country-France-should-owe-forever-for-being-freed-from-the-Germans-twice-while-asking-and getting-nothing-in-return-and-also-protecting-against-Soviet-expansion-while-asking-for-a-little-help-and-getting-none is a little pissed at you assholes.

The next stuff is a little confusing, but I'll keep it in since I think he is trying to make a point.

preventing the Red Army to conquer all western Europe (as their progression let the US military head honchoes think it) was another. It wasn't to reestablish the french sovereignity (Roosevelt had no big love, with some reasons, for de Gaulle and we had then a very interesting colonial empire full of stuff to sell and people to pressure - it's still a stench for me and, I hope, for France). Robert Murphy, the Roosevelt man for North Africa during the WWII, even met between 1941 and 1942 several guys from the shameful, extreme right-winged and antisemitic Vichy government (a few names : General Weygand, the Vichy delegate for Africa or Admiral Darlan, one of the most sinister symbol of the collaboration). I keep the bibliography if you don't believe me. Of course, the french betrayal (you'll call it a pleonasm or don't I know you too well...) in the "Iraq 2 : the sequel" (a Bushenheimer flick)

Bushenheimer flick - good one.

affair wasn't motivated by a french new taste for peace, but by business reasons.

By golly he's correct.

As is the USA intervention to get its hands on the second gas tank of the planet -

And once more he is correct. It is about ooiiilll! With a stable supply of oil we can now pressure the Saudis into stopping their funding of terrorism. We are fighting a war against terrorism. A war that we, by the way, did not start. If 9/11 had not happened we would not have gone into either Afghanistan or Iraq. And we wouldn't be pissed off at France. On second thought, we probably would be pissed off at France. You frogs are just so annoying.

and more and more scientists are saying that by 2050, gas will be out...).

And guess which country's scientists will come up with the technology?

Next time you try to play with culture and history (watch out, it burns) to turn them to your advantage, I hope there will be someone to remind you that they don't serve any masters, especially one as lame as you and your clones on the web.

I read my history thank you.

I'm not anti-american, I love my country, I'm glad that thaks to the USA, Saddam left the power (but if it is to put someone The USA have chosen instead of an authority elected by the Iraqis, what's the use ?

We're not done yet. It may work out. You were willing to give the inspectors a long time. Howza 'bout giving us some time to establish self rule. The Iraqis are already better off.

Ah yes... Greed and world domination, I get it...),

Speaking of history, if we wanted world domination why didn't we do it after WWII when we were the only country with nukes? And once again, if not for 9/11 we would not be doing any of this shit.

but I think nationalist zealots like yourself and religious fanatics like Osama Ben Laden have a lot in common.

And I think that you are full of shit.

You're the two faces of the disease that plague our new-born 21st century.

You couldn't be more mistaken.

Oh and to put an end to clichés (a french word that seems to adapt perfectly to your way of thinking),

See. We have no problem using French words, while you xenophobes abhor having to use English words.

frenchmen doesn't take bath, because we prefer showers (we heard it's more hygienic, but sssshhh, don't spill the word... ),

So do we only we like to take them on a regular basis and use soap.

Jerry Lewis is not a comic icon in France and I prefer to belong to the Axis of Weasels than to the Axis of morons (Bush, Blair and Aznar).

Yep! Bush is a moron. Just keep thinking that. Saddam thought that and look where he is.

One last thing, since the start of the french-bashing thing, I've always wondered why just us french, if we are this small and unimportant. Why not russian-bashing or chinese-bashing ? After all, these countries were opposed to the Iraq mess thing too... Unless the US businessmen are afraid of hurting the feelings of these two huge potential markets...

There are many reasons for the French bashing.
1. It's so easy.
2. The other countries were against the war, but they did not actively obstruct us like your small and unimportant country did.
3. You like to act so superior to us barbaric Americans that it's fun pointing out just how pitiful you are.
4. You're assholes.
5. You stink.

And last, but not least, this from bashful frog.

I do not know wether the French would speak German, after all they speak their own language in Praha too, and the Americans never got there.
But, if it was not for the French, Americans would be speaking English .

I thought we did.

They would call French Fries chips and would not have to rename them Freedom fries. What a beautifull freudian slip. So when you say "French" you think "Freedom".

No, when we say French we think of dirty, smelly, xenophobic morons.

May France stay forever the country of Freedom.

As I said earlier, you got about ten more years and the twin time bombs of the growing Muslim polulation and the weight of socialism and your country will collapse into anarchy.

And we won't lift a finger to stop it.

Posted by denny at 08:54 PM

May 06, 2003

Shame on France

Shit! I've turned into a tolerant old softie. Look at how they handled the dipshit at Sgt. Stryker's site. I'm never gonna llive this down.

I'm half in the bag tonight and really don't feel like writing too much so I just thought I would post some French pictures. Maureen, the French actively opposed us in the war. That alone would justify a boycott of French products, which is happening now. Did you know that since tourism is down, the French are planning a big advertising campaign this summer? I can see the slogan now: "Visit France. We won't be as rude to you as we normally are." Or how about, "Visit France. We promise to bathe more than once a month"?

Click on images to make them larger.

Say goodnight Adolph.

Posted by denny at 10:20 PM

April 23, 2003

My Job, Elian, and France Sucks

My friend, Brian, who always gets mad at me when I use fuck in my posts Instant Messaged me this afternoon and asked if I still have a job. Well, yes, I do. My boss returned to work today and didn't say anything about last Friday. I saw him in our Wednesday Inquisition Meeting (Where we discuss problems from last week and whether we're ready for next week. This meeting is a colossal waste of time and goes on forever. I really need to learn how to sleep with my eyes open.) and everything seemed normal. Maybe he's biding his time and will spring a surprise retirement party on me.

I had dinner Saturday with my friends Michael and Cindy at their house and regaled them with my tales of mismanagement. Since they both manage people they are amazed at what a jerk my manager is. Michael, who is the wine buyer at Greens in Atlanta (and he says his French wine business is down. Hmmm. Imagine that.), cannot comprehend how my manager is botching the negotiations on our project. Michael negotiates contracts for a living. Like me, he would call our Axis of Weasels' bluff.

Anyway, I figgered out my problem. My manager successfully changed me from Dilbert to Wally, but, every now and then, Dilbert pops back out and I say sumpin' stupid. Gotta fix that.

I don't know where Ralph Gizzip keeps getting these things, but he sent me the following picture to commemorate the anniversary of scaring the shit out of Elian Gonzalez and sending him back to live in a totalitarian state.


And where would we be without a little French bashing? A guy I used to work with sent me this poem.

Subject: A French Poem
Ralph Gizzip found the origin. It is here. And when you get there scroll up to see the French Army Special Ops training. In case you can't tell, it was lifted directly from Monty Python.

Who Stands Alone

Eleven thousand soldiers lay beneath the dirt and stone,
all buried on a distant land so far away from home.
For just a strip of dismal beach they paid a hero's price,
to save a foreign nation they all made the sacrifice.

And now the shores of Normandy are lined with blocks of white,
Americans who didn't turn from someone else's plight.
Eleven thousand reasons for the French to take our side,
but in the moment of our need, they chose to run and hide.

Chirac said every war means loss, perhaps for France that's true,
for they've lost every battle since the days of Waterloo.
Without a soldier worth a damn to be found in the region,
the French became the only land to need a Foreign Legion.

You French all say we're arrogant. Well hell, we've earned the right--
We saved your sorry nation when you lacked the guts to fight.
But now you've made a big mistake, and one that you'll regret;
you took sides with our enemies, and that we won't forget.

It wasn't just our citizens you spit on when you turned,
but every one of ours who fell the day the towers burned.
You spit upon our soldiers, on our pilots and Marines,
and now you'll get a little sense of just what payback means.

So keep your Paris fashions and your wine and your champagne,
and find some other market that will buy your aeroplanes.
And try to find somebody else to wear your French cologne,
for you're about to find out what it means to stand alone.

You see, you need us far more than we ever needed you.
America has better friends who know how to be true.
I'd rather stand with warriors who have the will and might,
than huddle in the dark with those whose only flag is white.

I'll take the Brits, the Aussies, the Israelis and the rest,
for when it comes to valor we have seen that they're the best.
We'll count on one another as we face a moment dire,
while you sit on the sideline with a sign "friendship for hire."

We'll win this war without you and we'll total up the cost,
and take it from your foreign aid, and then you'll feel the loss.
And when your nation starts to fall, well Frenchie, you can spare us,
just call the Germans for a hand, they know the way to Paris.

Too bad Matthew isn't trolling here anymore.

Posted by denny at 08:38 PM

April 19, 2003

France Surrenders to Itself

I have created a new category called French Bashing. The next few days I will be going back and finding my posts related to that category and add 'em to it.

Steven Den Beste is probably one of the most intelligent and best writers in the Blogosphere. Also, I have written him on occasion and he has always taken the time to respond which also makes him a great guy in my book. He even published one of my letters and commented on it. We share many views altho' I am a bit more conservative or libertarian (with a small l) than he is. Thus, even tho' I'm not one to gloat (yeah. That'll be the day), I'm glad to see that one of his latest posts agrees with an e-mail I sent to him a while back:

In regards to France being against the war, possibly it is because of their large Muslim population and the fear of riots and terrorism. Chirac has to know that we are going to war no matter what France says. Maybe he thinks that if he opposes the war, the Muslims will not riot. I think I read somewhere that Muslims make up 20% of the population.

His reply that if that were the case, the French would be stationing soldiers and police around the Muslim neighborhoods in anticipation of that made sense at the time. Being an engineer, he was basing his opinion on facts in evidence at the time. Little did he realize that not only were the French good at surrendering to other nations, they were even better at surrendering to their own citizens.

I think I'm older than Den Beste and have been observing the French and their backstabbing duplicity much longer than he has. I remember growing up in the 50's and asking my father why the French hated us so much. His reply was that it was human nature to hate someone to whom you owe a lot. After all, we saved their asses in two world wars (three counting the Cold War). Yeah. Yeah. I know, they helped us out in the Revolutionary War but that was more to hinder England that it was to help us, but we were grateful. And we were a damn sight more grateful to them than they have ever been to us. We paid our debt in WWI and our soldiers said when entering WWI, 'Lafayette, we are here!'

We had many brave young Americans die on the beaches of Normandy to free France from Germany. And we spent a lot of money rebuilding France after WWII. We also rebuilt Germany. Has there ever been a country in the history of this planet that has spent so much money rebuilding the economies of defeated enemies? And these were economies that would later compete with us.

And of course,, that trend continues. While we were waging war in Afghanistan, we were dropping food to the citizens. Right behind our troops in Iraq were aid trucks with food and water.

But back to France. France is like an old whore who time has passed by. She likes to think that if she puts on enough makeup and foundation garments and the room is dark, she can still be successful. But all the makeup and girdles cannot hide the fact that she is an old washed up whore.

As Den Beste points out

Since the American revolution, France has been convulsed by political unrest and has gone through several kings and two emperors, not to mention five republics and two periods of foreign military occupation (or three or four, depending on how you count).

Hey Matthew, if you're still around, do you understand now why we Americans hate being lectured to by the French? Your last years of glory were in the 19th Century. France has been putting on makeup and trying to convince the world that she is still beautiful but everyone knows that France is a washed up old whore that will sell herself to anyone for anything as long as the price is right.

The economy sucks. Business is shackled by gummint mandates. More Den Beste:

So, for instance, it's nearly impossible under French labor law to lay employees off during an economic downturn. The theory behind this was that it would lead to a larger workforce. The reality is that it forces businessmen to tune their hiring for the worst economic conditions they might face instead of the best ones, and thus they don't aggressively hire during booms for fear of being stuck with excess employees during a bust.

The French economy is nearly stagnant. Most of the job creation during the last 25 years has been in government employment, not in the private sector. Taxes are too high and the regulatory burden too great; entrepreneurs are being given no incentive to create jobs, and as a result they aren't doing it.

The French gummint's response was to mandate a 35 hour (or was it 32 hour?)work week hoping that would make companies hire more workers.

Listen to me carefully. Socialism has eventually failed everywhere it has been tried.

France is now trying to accomplish politically via the European Union, what it failed to do militarily during the 19th Century. What the rest of Europe fails to realize (Listen up Tony Blair) is if France does come to dominate the European Union, it will take all of Europe down the drain with it.

Back during the Cold War, the United States was in favor of the EU because a European super state would have been a good defense against the Soviet Union and would have also been a good European counterweight to the Soviets. Now, however, with the growing socialism in Europe, the EU has a real good chance of being another Soviet Union but without a military. The bad thing is France does have nuclear weapons and a radical Islamic state with nukes is a nightmare.

Maybe all this talk about invading France next wouldn't be a bad idea.

Hey Brian, I just did a whole post without once saying fuck.

Posted by denny at 01:08 PM

April 11, 2003

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

Dammit! I thought the title of this blog was a quotation from Disraeli. I googled it and found a bunch of references to the West Wing. I went to Bartlett's and searched and had no luck. I'm sure one of my erudite readers will find the source and enlighten me.

My sister and her husband have moved on to Westville, South Carolina, where they will be attending a family reunion. They will leave their pickup truck there and fly back to California. They have sold their house, so they will be transporting another car east in June and will stop by then. They will be living at my brother-in-law's mother's home in Westville until they can find or build a house in Asheville, North Carolina. So, if it weren't for Toren Smith and Bill Quick, it wouldn't bother me too much if the big one hit and dropped California in the ocean. Good riddance to Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, and Diane Feinstein.

As you can tell, now that my sister has left, I can now get on my computer for an extended period, and I'm fixin' to revert back to my grouchy old self.

Matthew and I have been trading comments about the war and other topics. I realize he is French and, is therefore suffering from an inferiority complex because France ceased to be a world power after the Vichy gummint welcomed the Germans into France. Ever since, from Charles De Gaulle to Jerque Sheetrock, they have been trying to become a world power with no success. Now, it seems they have picked the losing side in the war with Iraq, and are now demanding to have a say in the reconstruction. Too bad. Y'all lose. Fuck off!

In his last comment, Matthew was actually polite so I won't call him an idiot. I will try to explain to him exactly why he is wrong.

He said The question still remains, is America the best candidate for setting up a successful democracy in Iraq? Does America even have what could be considered a successful democracy?

Nope. America does not have a democracy. America has a constitutional republic. Our founders planned it that way. A democracy is two wolves and a chicken voting for what is for dinner. Democracy is mob rule. We do hope we can set up some form of representational gummint.

He then puts out some voting statistics about why America is unqualified to set up a gummint in Iraq.

Here's a comparison to voter turnout elsewhere in the world:

Italy : 92.5
New Zealand: 86.2
Uzbekistan: 86.2
Netherlands: 84.8
Australia: 84.4
Portugal: 82.4
Germany: 80.6
Spain: 77.0
United Kingdom: 74.9
Turkey: 73.5
Venezuela: 72.2
India: 60.7
Syria: 58.0
Russia: 55.0
United States: 48.3
Thailand: 47.4
Zambia: 40.5

I agree that our voter turnout is low, but what does that have to do with us setting up a gummint in Iraq? One of the reasons we have low voter turnout is, unlike most of the western industrialized nations, our election day is not a holiday.

Now it's on to hunger. Matthew stated that 33 million people in the United States (over 10% of the population!) suffered from hunger and, by golly, he had the statistics to back it up. Since he accused me of pulling statistics out of my ass, I asked him what methodology was used to come up with those figures. He was nice enough to give me the link to his source.

What is food security?
Food security for a household means access by all members at all times (emphasis mine) to enough food for an active, healthy life. Food security includes at a minimum (1) the ready availability of nutritionally adequate and safe foods, and (2) an assured ability to acquire acceptable foods in socially acceptable ways (that is, without resorting to emergency food supplies, scavenging, stealing, or other coping strategies).

OK. That's food security. Let's look at two questions on the survey.

In the last 12 months, did you ever not eat for a whole day because there wasn't enough money for food?

When I was in the Navy, in 1965, and I was married, I could answer yes to this question. Did that mean I would have been one of the 33 million?

In the last 12 months, did any of the children ever skip a meal because there wasn't enough money for food?

Look closely. This is one day out of 365. Anyone reading this want to say they have fallen into this category and yet, were surprised to find that the Department of Agriculture thought that they were starving?

Notice that every question specifies the time period (last 12 months) and specifies lack of resources as the reason for the behavior.

Ooops! Ran out of money. Looks like it's peanut butter and jelly sandwiches until payday.

I want to thank Matthew for providing the link to the survey and I suggest that my readers go out and look at it and the methodology used to determine our 'hunger crisis'.

Yep. We got people dropping like flies due to starvation in this country. And, still, we have people who are doing everything in their power to get in to the United States. I guess all those people must be fucking idiots.

By the way Matthew, what did you think of the Iraqi people tearing down the statue of Saddam Hussein?

I bet they were glad that we liberated them. And guess what they did to the German embassy and the French cultural center?

So Matthew, do you want your crow baked, grilled or fried?

Posted by denny at 08:36 PM

March 07, 2003

Various Quotes About France

A friend sent me an email with various quotes about France that I thought I would share.

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from
these drawbacks, it is a fine country. France has usually been
governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a
French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
----Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
--- France's President Jacques Chirac
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German
Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed
any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True,
you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee,
but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking
large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
--- P.J. O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress
of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but
doesn't have the face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator, Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret.
He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us
get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get
the Germans out of France!"
----Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came
marching into Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep

We ought to punish the French and Germans by making the French drink German wine and the Germans drive French cars.
--From the Vent in the Atlanta Journal and Constitution

And yesterday I heard Jeff Greenfield from CNN on Imus call the French 'cheese eatin' surrender monkeys'. Holy Simpsons!

Posted by denny at 01:35 PM

February 23, 2003

French Bashing

I've pretty much always disliked the French. I remember during the 50's when the French started acting (like they are now) as if they were some great world power and criticized the United States constantly. I asked my father why, after all we had done for them in two wars they hated us so much. My father told me that it is human nature to resent people to whom you owe debts of gratitude.

I'm sure most of you have seen the Miltary History of France. I first encountered it at Rantburg, but I was informed that the original is here. The best thing about reading the original is he gives you links to all his references.

Last night I had my friends, Michael and Cindy, over for dinner. One of the bottles of wine we drank was a 1990 Bordeaux (What! You want me to pour it out? It's been in my cellar for years.) Naturally we got to talking about the French. Cindy told me I should post excerpts from Mark Twain's The French and the Comanches where Mark Twain compares the two and rates the Comanches as more civilized. Seems French bashing was popular in Mark Twain's day, at least by Mark Twain. I like this little excerpt:

The most attractive feature of the French national character, and its most encouraging one to the missionary, is its admirable and unapproachable docility. We look upon rabbits as being meek. But what is the meekness of the rabbit to the meekness of the Frenchman? Are there any rabbits that would allow themselves to be abused, insulted, and trodden under foot persistently and continuously for a thousand years, and never offer to bite? Europe is freckled all over with daring little communities which have risen against powerful oppressors time and time again, and compelled redress. The list stretches out to weariness. William Tells and Wat Tylers have been common nearly everywhere but in France. Yet France rose at last--and would have retired to its warren quite contented with a cuff and a bonbon if the foolish King had offered them, but it was not his style to do the needful thing at the needful time, so the chance went by. Then the nation cast its rabbit skin and put on its other national garment, the tiger skin, being closely pressed by Europe in arms, it went a step further and asserted its manhood, and was doubtless surprised to find how much it had of it. Napoleon, the great foreigner, brought the people's soldiership up to the last summit of perfection; and when he got ready, he dressed the nation in their rabbit skins again, and put his foot on their necks, and they glorified him for it. Napoleon III accommodated them in the same way, to their vast satisfaction.

This was written in the 19th Century.

Another excerpt that I liked, and have the link for is The Great French Duel. Excerpts follow:

Much as the modern French duel is ridiculed by certain smart people, it is in reality one of the most dangerous institutions of our day. Since it is always fought in the open air, the combatants are nearly sure to catch cold. M. Paul de Cassagnac, the most inveterate of the French duelists, had suffered so often in this way that he is at last a confirmed invalid; and the best physician in Paris has expressed the opinion that if he goes on dueling for fifteen or twenty years more--unless he forms the habit of fighting in a comfortable room where damps and draughts cannot intrude--he will eventually endanger his life.

Mark Twain acts as a second and visits the challenged dueler's home.

The next thing in order was the choice of weapons. My principal said he was not feeling well, and would leave that and the other details of the proposed meeting to me. Therefore I wrote the following note and carried it to M. Fourtou's friend:

Sir: M. Gambetta accepts M. Fourtou's challenge, and authorizes me to propose Plessis-Piquet as the place of meeting; tomorrow morning at daybreak as the time; and axes as the weapons.

I am, sir, with great respect,

Mark Twain.

M. Fourtou's friend read this note, and shuddered. Then he turned to me, and said, with a suggestion of severity in his tone:

"Have you considered, sir, what would be the inevitable result of such a meeting as this?"

"Well, for instance, what would it be?"


Mon Dieu! Bloodshed? Follow the link. Read the rest of it.

He also goes after our good friens the Germans. Here's the index. Check it out.

Cindy's father was in Europe during WWII and he observed a fight between two French soldiers. He couldn't believe it. They slapped each other.

It's so much fun to bash the French. They're such easy targets.

Posted by denny at 08:09 PM